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I accidentally bought the "gay" fleshlight... FUCK MY LIFE
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: May 7th, 2014 12:47 AM Author: chest-beating supple goyim I'd been doing research on the Tenga products and found a shop who's website claimed they would have them. Unforunatley they were out. I started looking at fleshlights but without much prior knowledge. I liked the price of the Sex in a Can line and was just browsing those. The lady that worked there started giving me the spiel about how popular Fleshlights are and whatnot and said the stamina control unit was the most popular after the original. I'm looking at the cans and they all have different textures and it was tough to figure it all out on the spot. They all had different openings too but I didn't care much about whether it looks like a pussy or an ass or a mouth - I want the one that feels best based on rubber things I rub on my dick. I played it safe, I thought, and went with the one with the mini-stamina control texture - most popular and presumably tighter... I ain't that big. Bonus was the opening was just a small hole, I thought, that didn't look like anything. No fake pussy or mouth, or fangs - fyi: some have fangs. But then I get home. Well, the first thing I did was use it once but during that I noticed that it did have that balloon knot look of an asshole but whatever. It felt fucking awesome. When I was done, and satisfied, I started googling the "Gape Soda NSFW" ( http://www.fleshjack.com/jacks-soda/ )I bought and absolutly everything turned up gay and I'm not super comfortable with that. Turns out I bought a Fleshjack - the gay Fleshlight. As much as the fake pussy versions are supposed to make you think pussy, this one is designed to be a dude's ass... that doesn't work for me. I'm trying to reconcile that it's just rubber and the same way I didn't need fake pussy lips means that I don't have to think of this thing as a dude's ass but it's not easy. I mean on one hand it's still the best tightness and texture for me, but I'll be penetrating a fake male butthole. I'm not having a crisis that using this makes me gay. No, I just want to enjoy my $50 toy and I can't escape the thought of it being a male butt, which I don't really want. I don't want to buy a pussy based unit but I might have to now because I like the feeling but I have trouble with it this way. I don't know... and I'm drunk now. |
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Date: September 22nd, 2015 6:41 PM Author: tantric mind-boggling stock car whats their refund policy? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#28815809) |
Date: May 7th, 2014 12:50 AM Author: Elite appetizing institution liquid oxygen Sounds like you're gay bro (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516806) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 12:52 AM Author: chest-beating supple goyim fuk u bro this isn't funny (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516817) |
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Date: January 1st, 2023 11:42 PM Author: Irradiated alpha degenerate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#45728148) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 12:52 AM Author: dashing meetinghouse ape tyft, would read again (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516816) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 12:55 AM Author: chest-beating supple goyim You think this is bad? Here's why I had to toss my last one -- The pussy lips on the fleshlight were a little disfigured from when I dabbled in pyro fetish. I coated the entry to the fleshlight with lighter fluid and germx and set it on fire and fucked it. First of all, lighter fluid deteriorates the material and so do flames. The next problem I ran into was my thrusts forcing the globs of flaming germx to fly off of the fleshlight and nearly set my rug on fire. The last, and arguably most important problem with this is that you will burn your dick. If your thrusts don't put out the blaze in the first few pumps, you'll be left with a peeling dick for a week. Would not recommend. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516833) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:00 AM Author: chest-beating supple goyim To be honest, I really don't know why I was even intrigued by it. I thought it would be fun to fuck a pussy that was on fire, but wouldn't want to risk hurting another person. I liked the idea of pulling out and cumming on the flames to put them out. The heat was too much so I thought maybe a condom would protect me for a few more seconds. It ended up burning right through the condom and giving me a nasty little burn on my shaft. After I burned myself, I stopped trying to fuck it while it was on fire but instead coated it in germx and had a lighter closeby. When I got close to climax I lit it up and shot my load but I was in too much pain for an impressive release. Also, I had to pour water on it and put ointment on my burns. It was one of those ideas that sounded a lot better in my head than in reality. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516853) |
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Date: May 11th, 2014 10:59 PM Author: Irate sick stain lmao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25544855) |
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Date: September 28th, 2016 3:56 PM Author: indecent public bath keepsake machete (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#31514340) |
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Date: May 19th, 2017 11:52 PM Author: tantric mind-boggling stock car I truly hope this isn't flame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#33349208) |
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Date: November 20th, 2017 3:20 PM Author: odious people who are hurt lol @ a pyro fetish not being "flame" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#34733011) |
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Date: November 20th, 2017 3:18 PM Author: harsh pervert double fault (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#34732992) |
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Date: November 20th, 2017 4:09 PM Author: confused bespoke area death wish OUT the other ideas! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#34733438) |
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Date: January 1st, 2023 11:44 PM Author: Irradiated alpha degenerate God's love has its limits. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#45728150) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 12:53 AM Author: Bossy swashbuckling lettuce I just "want the one that feels best" lisped the totally straight bro. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516824) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 12:58 AM Author: Sapphire Half-breed Jack's Gape Soda is the perfect pick-me-up for hung tops. You know how to work a bottom's hole to make entry as pleasurable as possible ... But we've done the work for you and this bottom is ready to play! Featuring a relaxed opening and the Stamina texture from Endurance Jack. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516844) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 12:59 AM Author: light concupiscible dysfunction what's gay about this (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516851) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:00 AM Author: Cordovan point sandwich simmer down earl (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516859) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:00 AM Author: Sapphire Half-breed is this from misc? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516863) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:02 AM Author: chest-beating supple goyim if only :(((((((((((( (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516873) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:01 AM Author: Dead brass famous landscape painting corn cake You're a creepy, psychotic asshole on this board. Seems like you had it coming. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516864) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:01 AM Author: chest-beating supple goyim I know man, I know. I've done a few other weird things too. You know those glowsticks that are really long that you can make into a loop and wear around your neck? I had a bunch of those a couple years back and i'd lubricate them and put them in my urethra. Then when I got good and hard, I'd bend my penis to activate the glowstick. It was really satisfying to hear the crack of the glowstick coming from my cock. It made me feel like I was breaking my dick in half but without actually harming myself. I stopped doing this after two events put a damper on the fun. Once I got overzealous and put the glowstick all the way in to where I couldnt see it anymore. It took a long time to coax out. The other time, the plastic had some imperfections and ended up slicing the inside of my penis a bit. It burned like a thousand suns when I peed for about a week. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516871) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:02 AM Author: Sapphire Half-breed you peed for about a week? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516879) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:25 AM Author: chest-beating supple goyim no it burnt for a week when i peed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516986) |
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Date: September 22nd, 2015 6:50 PM Author: Slimy coldplay fan oh fuck lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#28815868) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:03 AM Author: heady elastic band mad-dog skullcap i think you put quotes around the wrong word (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516882) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:04 AM Author: Sapphire Half-breed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516886) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 4:06 PM Author: Multi-colored Kitchen not proud to admit it but it took me a sec too (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25519890) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:22 AM Author: chest-beating supple goyim lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516964) |
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Date: November 20th, 2017 3:29 PM Author: tantric mind-boggling stock car This is great (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#34733105) |
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Date: January 1st, 2023 11:44 PM Author: Irradiated alpha degenerate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#45728151) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:06 AM Author: dun heaven quadroon So the lady at the store thought you were gay?
What do you look like, bro? |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:27 AM Author: chest-beating supple goyim No i just picked it without really thinking about it. She probably assumed I was gay when I handed it to her to ring up though. There was nothing obviously gay on the packaging, it's just the online marketing that makes me go wtf (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25516993) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:28 AM Author: adventurous bistre faggotry stead *slowly backs out of this thread* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25517001) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:33 AM Author: chest-beating supple goyim cmon bro drop some insight (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25517030) |
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Date: January 1st, 2023 11:44 PM Author: Irradiated alpha degenerate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#45728152) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:44 AM Author: chest-beating supple goyim thinking of buying this... thoughts? http://www.amazon.com/TLC-CyberSkin-Vibrating-Perfect-Natural/dp/B00187RE5I/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1399441427&sr=1-1&keywords=fleshlight |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:51 AM Author: Free-loading spot genital piercing Reminder...THIS is the mental image the sex toy you are fucking is intended to evoke:
http://static.fleshjack.com/landing/jacks-soda/gape-gfx.jpg
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Date: May 7th, 2014 1:52 AM Author: chest-beating supple goyim fuck off man this isn't helping (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25517094) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 2:01 AM Author: Free-loading spot genital piercing it doesn't turn you on thinking about pulling down those tight little purple briefs to reveal his twinkbottom as he lovingly gazes back at you with a shit-eating grin that bears mild to moderate features of mental retardation? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25517129) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 2:03 AM Author: scarlet coffee pot how is it gay? is it a butthole that comes with glued on hair? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25517133) |
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Date: May 7th, 2014 2:09 AM Author: chest-beating supple goyim did you click the link? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#25517146) |
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Date: March 12th, 2015 9:05 PM Author: Misanthropic haunted graveyard hominid I don't understand why they make it like a soda can. Whats the appeal of that? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#27479325) |
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Date: March 12th, 2015 9:30 PM Author: fear-inspiring 180 dingle berry When you leave it out people will assume the cheap plastic can of "gape soda" that reeks of semen is a delicious beverage and not something for jacking off (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2561382&forum_id=2#27479482) |
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