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Johnsmeyer calling Suze Orman w/ "Scream" voice distorter

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at-the-ready laughsome station gaming laptop
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You should've been a comedy writer
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know-it-all scarlet native
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Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are." *very ...
Tan bonkers really tough guy
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LOL
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laughing & convlusing & foamign at mouth at work lmf...
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holy shit
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Holy shit screaming/vomiting
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JFC
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i really dont know why but this cracks me the eff up
fuchsia ticket booth idiot
  06/13/14
Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-s...
know-it-all scarlet native
  06/13/14
TY FOR YOUR SERVICE
Tan bonkers really tough guy
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...
Tan bonkers really tough guy
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Poast of the year
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this is scholarship
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Loool 180
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suze orman keeping steady, unconcerned eye contact into the ...
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I read this with the Charlie Kelly voice
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whoa
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lol you're like the judge who wrote the Pepsi Points opinion...
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How did I miss this?
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there is some true comedic talent on this bort
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lol damn dude, nice work
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the real important part is that this only took 12 minutes to...
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curly phone cord that's way too long really hit home
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this is the best poast on xo
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this cracks me up every time i read it
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http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Re4VERqiZe How it went down:
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Thank
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has johnsmeyer seen this
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this is one of those threads that I wish I could explain IRL...
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Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: June 11th, 2014 11:36 PM
Author: at-the-ready laughsome station gaming laptop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733527)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM
Author: Tan bonkers really tough guy

You should've been a comedy writer

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733532)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM
Author: slippery step-uncle's house coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733535)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 11th, 2014 11:39 PM
Author: know-it-all scarlet native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733537)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM
Author: Tan bonkers really tough guy

Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are."

*very long pause*

Robot/monster voice: " five nine"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733549)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM
Author: know-it-all scarlet native

LOL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733551)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 11th, 2014 11:41 PM
Author: at-the-ready laughsome station gaming laptop

laughing & convlusing & foamign at mouth at work lmfao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733555)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2015 3:56 PM
Author: citrine bateful stead dragon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619755)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 11th, 2014 11:59 PM
Author: fuchsia ticket booth idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733697)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2014 12:11 AM
Author: aqua maniacal spot stain



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733775)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2014 6:22 PM
Author: Tan bonkers really tough guy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738401)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM
Author: iridescent passionate meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738402)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM
Author: Insanely creepy heaven organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738403)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2014 6:36 PM
Author: Cobalt glittery blood rage shrine

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738512)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2014 6:38 PM
Author: floppy nursing home party of the first part

Holy shit screaming/vomiting

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738527)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2014 8:23 PM
Author: Tan bonkers really tough guy

JFC

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25739208)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2014 3:10 PM
Author: fuchsia ticket booth idiot

i really dont know why but this cracks me the eff up

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25743978)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2014 3:22 PM
Author: know-it-all scarlet native

Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-sequitur of a question that hits at the linchpin of Johnsmeyer's tragic character: his height. Who knows why that has come up? Maybe PAYE? Maybe estate planning re a farm with gold statues? Maybe what to do with his minor league performance bonus? So we get a brilliant start.

Then we get stuck in the long pause purgatory, but it's a good purgatory. We know what might happen next and on first read, 8 times out of 10 we'll guess correctly. But during the long pause your anticipation wells up. You can envision Johnsmeyer nervously fumbling with the Scream robot voice machine pressed against an old landline phone with a curly cord that's way, way too long in a dark Manhattan basement closet apartment, thinking of whether to answer truthfully and whether the Scream robot voice machine is actually working to cover his identity. It's not that he's weird, he's just shy, a little embarrassed and wants anonymity. It's really absurd, but you give the little guy the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't hang up out of fear while pissing his pants. Besides, chances are he already pissed his pants after the big Suze asked him about his relationship status, which prompted him to look up at an out of focus picture of some girl named Dutchess that's the only thing on his otherwise bare windowless walls.

You see all this in the long pause which is then pierced by the Scream robot voice as it responds "five nine" which is hilarious because it's earnestly delivered in such an bizarre manner. You can hear the voice clearly in your head while envisioning Johnsmeyer in his apartment and Suze and her producers in the studio wondering wtf kind of savant is on the other end of the line. But it's doubly hilarious because we all know Johnsy boy is really five seven, on a good day.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744019)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2014 3:25 PM
Author: Tan bonkers really tough guy

TY FOR YOUR SERVICE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744029)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2014 3:29 PM
Author: Tan bonkers really tough guy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744049)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2014 3:30 PM
Author: aqua maniacal spot stain

Poast of the year

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744051)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2014 3:31 PM
Author: self-centered crackhouse associate

this is scholarship

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744053)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2014 3:32 PM
Author: fuchsia ticket booth idiot

Loool 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744063)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2014 3:35 PM
Author: wonderful kitchen black woman

suze orman keeping steady, unconcerned eye contact into the camera during the pause

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744079)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2014 3:42 PM
Author: Carmine kitty school

I read this with the Charlie Kelly voice

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744101)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2014 3:53 PM
Author: Cobalt glittery blood rage shrine

whoa

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744164)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2014 3:59 PM
Author: iridescent passionate meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744191)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2014 8:33 PM
Author: cracking crusty chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25745855)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2014 10:55 PM
Author: at-the-ready laughsome station gaming laptop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25746687)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 14th, 2015 5:47 PM
Author: cracking crusty chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27315083)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2015 4:04 PM
Author: vibrant roommate

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619800)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM
Author: racy address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28487531)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 5th, 2015 11:57 PM
Author: concupiscible angry brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28488640)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM
Author: vivacious gaped site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489891)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 6th, 2015 9:28 AM
Author: Chest-beating deer antler stag film

lol you're like the judge who wrote the Pepsi Points opinion from 1L contracts

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489907)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 6th, 2015 9:39 AM
Author: mind-boggling set personal credit line

How did I miss this?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489936)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 6th, 2015 10:43 AM
Author: Bronze hospital rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28490163)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 6th, 2015 1:33 PM
Author: Beady-eyed Maize Depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28491214)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 6th, 2015 1:34 PM
Author: ultramarine spectacular quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28491223)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 6th, 2015 11:56 PM
Author: ebony hairless reading party bbw

there is some true comedic talent on this bort

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28497490)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 6th, 2015 11:59 PM
Author: Massive Drunken Son Of Senegal

lol damn dude, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28497522)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2015 6:05 AM
Author: Beady-eyed Maize Depressive

the real important part is that this only took 12 minutes to write

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924462)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2015 6:39 AM
Author: bipolar orchid temple preventive strike

curly phone cord that's way too long really hit home

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924483)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 18th, 2015 3:44 PM
Author: Marvelous Gas Station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29207618)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 18th, 2015 3:48 PM
Author: Charismatic silver space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29207642)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2015 5:19 PM
Author: racy address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29401582)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 17th, 2015 5:24 PM
Author: concupiscible angry brunch



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Date: March 14th, 2016 12:56 AM
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:17 PM
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Date: July 24th, 2016 9:14 AM
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Date: November 29th, 2016 6:59 PM
Author: Free-loading irate french chef



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Date: June 2nd, 2017 8:48 AM
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Date: June 3rd, 2017 12:59 PM
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Date: May 13th, 2018 9:50 PM
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM
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Date: June 25th, 2019 4:51 AM
Author: Light brethren

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Date: December 25th, 2019 5:59 PM
Author: know-it-all scarlet native



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Date: December 30th, 2019 8:37 PM
Author: cracking crusty chapel

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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:12 PM
Author: Comical Useless Brakes Abode



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Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2014 4:12 PM
Author: Hairraiser whorehouse

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744273)



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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:22 PM
Author: Tan bonkers really tough guy



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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:09 PM
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:31 PM
Author: cracking crusty chapel

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25745827)



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Date: June 21st, 2014 3:05 PM
Author: Federal Area Famous Landscape Painting



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Date: June 21st, 2014 3:09 PM
Author: Out-of-control macaca



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Date: December 7th, 2014 12:39 AM
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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:47 PM
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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:49 PM
Author: Free-loading irate french chef



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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:49 PM
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Author: Adventurous stage boistinker



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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:07 PM
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:09 PM
Author: vibrant roommate

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Date: August 5th, 2015 11:56 PM
Author: outnumbered bawdyhouse



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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:33 PM
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:32 AM
Author: razzmatazz locus



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Date: October 8th, 2015 8:30 AM
Author: Cyan Theatre Nibblets

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924637)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2015 8:33 AM
Author: Cyan Theatre Nibblets

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924648)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2015 8:52 AM
Author: Free-loading irate french chef

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924696)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2015 9:05 AM
Author: Cyan Theatre Nibblets

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924747)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2015 9:13 AM
Author: fuchsia ticket booth idiot

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924774)



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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:20 PM
Author: racy address



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Date: October 18th, 2015 1:09 PM
Author: Adventurous stage boistinker



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Date: October 31st, 2015 9:01 PM
Author: Razzle principal's office



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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:17 PM
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Date: October 18th, 2018 8:48 AM
Author: Federal Area Famous Landscape Painting



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Date: January 10th, 2019 1:12 PM
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Date: January 10th, 2019 1:13 PM
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Date: April 4th, 2019 10:20 AM
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Date: July 13th, 2019 11:09 PM
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Date: December 25th, 2019 5:29 PM
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Date: December 25th, 2019 9:35 PM
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Date: March 27th, 2021 12:04 AM
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Reply Favorite

Date: June 13th, 2021 2:41 PM
Author: Bat-shit-crazy provocative international law enforcement agency property



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Date: June 12th, 2014 2:41 PM
Author: Tan bonkers really tough guy



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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:35 PM
Author: sable curious marketing idea cumskin



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Author: cracking crusty chapel



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Date: June 26th, 2014 12:08 AM
Author: aqua maniacal spot stain



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2014 12:31 AM
Author: know-it-all scarlet native



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Reply Favorite

Date: March 28th, 2015 9:05 PM
Author: know-it-all scarlet native



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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:24 PM
Author: sable curious marketing idea cumskin



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Reply Favorite

Date: August 5th, 2015 8:49 PM
Author: Cobalt glittery blood rage shrine

has johnsmeyer seen this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28486974)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 7th, 2016 10:43 PM
Author: Vigorous sex offender

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Author: Aggressive lettuce



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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:03 PM
Author: Disturbing irradiated hell

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Date: August 5th, 2015 11:54 PM
Author: Tripping institution knife

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Date: August 15th, 2015 7:54 PM
Author: Trip bossy wrinkle



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Reply Favorite

Date: August 6th, 2015 9:22 AM
Author: Beady-eyed Maize Depressive

this is one of those threads that I wish I could explain IRL.

I really like it here

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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM
Author: vivacious gaped site

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489896)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 6th, 2015 9:45 AM
Author: Beady-eyed Maize Depressive

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Date: August 6th, 2015 4:53 PM
Author: vivacious gaped site



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Author: Charismatic silver space



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Date: April 9th, 2021 9:46 PM
Author: Beady-eyed Maize Depressive



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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:57 PM
Author: Cobalt glittery blood rage shrine



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Reply Favorite

Date: July 13th, 2019 11:10 PM
Author: grizzly underhanded filthpig circlehead



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Author: vivacious gaped site



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Date: August 15th, 2015 7:36 PM
Author: Beady-eyed Maize Depressive



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Date: August 15th, 2015 7:57 PM
Author: doobsian market sound barrier

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Author: vivacious gaped site



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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:08 PM
Author: Cyan Theatre Nibblets



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Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2015 6:18 PM
Author: talking up-to-no-good locale

jfc. haven't laughed that hard since brownstone/mcbeef.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28928672)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2015 8:30 PM
Author: Cyan Theatre Nibblets



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Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2015 9:47 PM
Author: Cyan Theatre Nibblets



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