2) Earlier that day, I met them in Brooklyn and they were in front of her house when I got there. His girlfriend's Vespa wouldn't start and they were waiting for her AAA to get there. I asked if they tried to kickstart it. They "didn't know how to, really." My friend was googling it on his phone and I went at it. Took me a while but I got it going and she didn't have to worry about not being able to use her "scooter-ya?" in the cutest Dutch accent. She said "you're amazing" and made a joke to my friend about his general cluelessness about "manly things" - she said she installed the AC in her apartment last year while he was reading the instruction manual.

3) My dinner date (girl I'm seeing, not dating) and my friend both ordered desert and coffee after dinner, and his girlfriend and I kept drinking. Both of them talked about wanting to go home and watch Netflix (not kidding). I looked at my friend's girlfriend and go "Ah, kids. Whaddya gonna do?" Table erupted in laughter except for my friend. I may have even been banging on the table loudly.

4) We see them again at a friend's 30th birthday party (this was on Fri) and we suggest going out after, maybe to a club. This was dumb on my part because my friend is recently unemployed, not doing well and his girlfriend, though a totally loaded trust fund baby, is not really cash-rich. I can tell he doesn't want to spend any cheddar so I go, "Don't worry, daddy's buyin'."

5) We go out to a club and we have a table, it's like 8 of us and more are coming. To be fair, I was completely wasted but that's no excuse. I slapped his girlfriend's ass and he saw. The thing is - I think she liked it. "Pop That" was on, I had like 7 Patron Pineapples - things got a little out of control. He grabbed my arm and said the usual DUDE, you're outta line, blah, blah. I calmed him down and apologized to his girlfriend. She forgave me and was way more understanding than his bitch ass was.

6) We take an Uber home, the three of us and I was getting dropped off first. When we get to my apartment, I tell the driver to pull up. My friend is kind of sleeping (drunk, eyes closed) and doesn't realize we are there. I tell him goodnight and say, as a joke, "Yeah, [your girlfriend] is just gonna come upstairs for a few minutes. I gotta show her something real quick." Driver AND the girl start cracking up. Driver is a young dude around our age. Friend WAKES RIGHT THE FUCK UP, gets out of the car and starts yelling at me to get out of the car, I've been doing it all night, now time to settle it. I try to calm him down - his girlfriend gets out of the car and is yelling at him, saying it was a joke. This is getting nuts - he's not that drunk but totally acting sloshed for some reason, maybe to get away with the tough guy shtick. This motherfucker actually takes a swing at me and out of PURE INSTINCT I CLOCK him right in his nose. He's obviously bleeding - didn't get knocked down but rather back a few steps. Uber driver peaces out - now girl is complaining about that to him while he's bleeding out of his nose.

7) I take them upstairs and first aid his nose. A little gauze here, a little cotton there, some antiseptic, a little Neosporin and he's good. They call another Uber and leave.

Haven't spoken to him since but his gf started following me on Instagram.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2786800&forum_id=2#27149918)