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Live blogging my JERB application process with MEGA CORP
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Date: October 14th, 2015 6:53 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop The modern job application process is fucking horrible and you bros will be going through it with me.
I work at mega corp and I applied ~2 weeks ago to another mega corp. the job based on glass door is ~20% higher pay (from 96K now to 120K) and a step up on the corp ladder. I'm between 70-85% objectively qualified.
Within 3 days of applying I got an email from HR. 3 days after that I interviewed w HR by phone. A week after that I interviewed with what would be my manager. It went very well.
So what the fuck is the point of this thread?
Not only am I supposed to interview with her boss next week, I also have to interview with her boss' boss two weeks from now. Why the fuck is this so absurdly painful?
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Date: October 14th, 2015 6:57 PM Author: Bossy sadistic pit What did you tell them when they asked current salary and your desired salary range? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967595) |
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Date: October 14th, 2015 7:07 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop Told them 101, so basically a 5K exaggeration. Glass door actually says 135K for this job, but I have a friend in HR at this company and she said the mid point for this job is 115K so I told them "120K would make this an easy decision." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967639) |
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Date: October 14th, 2015 6:58 PM Author: Painfully Honest Shrine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967603) |
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Date: October 14th, 2015 6:58 PM Author: Cerebral french athletic conference Looks like they'll either hire you or just not fill position. They can expect PERFECT PLUS (meaning exactly what they want AND a lil somethin somethin extra wink wink) these days. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967604) |
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Date: October 14th, 2015 7:10 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop She told me it was between me and an internal candidate but that if I did well with her boss I had a "very good shot." I think she preferred me over the internal candidate but she could have just been blowing smoke up my ass.
Also I looked at her LinkedIn and she is a year younger than me and would be my boss. Lol at my pathetic career.
:( |
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Date: October 14th, 2015 7:11 PM Author: Cerebral french athletic conference 120K is better than most people man who cares if you're working for abnormally successful people (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967652) |
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Date: October 14th, 2015 7:14 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop She's hot too :D (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967665) |
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Date: October 14th, 2015 7:14 PM Author: Cerebral french athletic conference dont shit where u eat (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967667) |
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Date: October 14th, 2015 7:16 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967677) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:36 AM Author: contagious flatulent office counterpoint: why are you working at all? to make enough money to impress hot chicks and bang them. So to avoid banging this hot chick in order to keep your job is reversing cause and effect, ergo, it is simply absurd. It's a comical notion. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020605) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:37 AM Author: Maize casino a comical notion indeed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020606) |
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Date: November 12th, 2015 11:08 AM Author: contagious flatulent office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29166379) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:26 AM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop 3rd interview today. Wearing a jet black suit just for XO (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020576) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:29 AM Author: Ocher cracking rehab generalized bond I would caution against this. I got a ding for this stunt and had to get coffee for the table (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020582) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:31 AM Author: henna menage black suit is fine. only faggot lawyers care about that shit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020590) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:34 AM Author: contagious flatulent office I hope you're planning to move out of your current metro because word will get out and you will never find work in this town again (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020602) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:32 AM Author: Maize casino ty for saying job apps are horrible. every time i go through this process i despise myself and everyone around me but people act like it's a normal and natural way for things to be organized. it SUCKS (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020595) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:38 AM Author: Poppy roast beef (clearly not a TALEO materman) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020615) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:39 AM Author: Maize casino fuck. i'm done here. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020617) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 5:02 PM Author: amethyst scourge upon the earth gas station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023224) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 6:10 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop They are brother. This is bullshit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023560) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 4:16 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop http://imgur.com/7qpc1Dc
Nose bleed 10 minutes before start of interview. There was about 10X more blood than shown. Fuck my ass. |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 4:34 PM Author: Plum Underhanded Lodge Multi-billionaire lol 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023058) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 5:02 PM Author: amethyst scourge upon the earth gas station ;-( (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023226) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 6:09 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop Nailed it anyway. im competing with an internal candidate but I like my odds. I Might get gaped though. I will post my success or shame either way. Interview number 4 with her boss next week. What a bullshit process. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023559) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 5:04 PM Author: Exhilarant senate fanboi This shit is common. They'll probably make you take some shit test too and then forget they even administered it and want you to come back in to take it again. And then at the end of all that it will be 50/50 as to whether they even get the budget approved to hire a FTE. Lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023234) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 5:04 PM Author: Adventurous Canary Pisswyrm Field womens suffrage and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023240) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 5:06 PM Author: flirting mind-boggling factory reset button I had a phone interview with some bitch and she assured me that they would "be in touch" within a few days. That was six weeks ago. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023253) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 5:13 PM Author: Slap-happy Hilarious Stag Film I've been trying to dump law for a year now with no success. I fucking hate filling out online applications. In fact, I'm to the point where I am going to refuse to write a new original cover letter for anything ever unless the posting specifically calls for it.
Job hunting is pure, fucking, faggot, flame. |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 6:11 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop I don't write cover letters ever, but I'm not really switching career roles. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023564) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 6:16 PM Author: lime arrogant gaping place of business If you're applying through an online system without somebody on the inside also passsing your resume along to the relevant people you're wasting your time. It sucks but it's how it is man. fTGE! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023582) |
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Date: October 28th, 2015 1:19 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop Final interview today with the person would be my boss's boss's boss. We had a good conversation but he did say he was concerned I was too senior for this role and he had a couple other more senior positions he might like me for. Said I had a nice presence about me for how young I was. Unsure if he was serious or letting me down easy.
I'm supposed to know something by Friday. |
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Date: November 2nd, 2015 11:44 AM Author: Shimmering domesticated hospital "... he did say he was concerned I was too senior for this role and he had a couple other more senior positions he might like me for."
LOL, it's stuff like this that always has me scratching my head. After reading your resume, an HR screen, and multiple interviews being "too senior" is why they don't want to hire you? Doesn't it seem like this could have been established within 5 - 10 minutes after a close read of your resume? |
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Date: November 2nd, 2015 11:47 AM Author: effete abode Cr. Like i said below, a very bad sign about how this place is run. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29093527) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2015 11:49 AM Author: Shimmering domesticated hospital Agreed.
Hopefully I'll never have to go through a process like the OP's ever again. But, if I did, I'd love to turn around the interview and ask the questions posed in my previous post. |
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Date: November 2nd, 2015 11:49 AM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop This is MEGA CORP. you know this company and it is routinely cited as one of the better run companies in its industry. This is the way it is at all large mega corps. Middle managers are rarely good. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29093542) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2015 11:33 AM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop As I was leaving last Wednesday they said the 3 of them were going to discuss it and make a decision by Friday. I haven't heard anything. Sounds like DING FAG to me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29093445) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2015 11:39 AM Author: effete abode This hiring process is itself a bad sign. Beware.
The boss' boss' boss doesn't have enough confidence in their subordinates' word to let them make a hiring decision. No, they have to personally stick their nose in it and waste additional time and effort. |
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Date: November 2nd, 2015 11:51 AM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop I would normally agree but the superboss recently accepted his position from a competitor. He asked me about the hiring process and he complained about it as well.
My guess is they offered it to the internal candidate and are waiting for them to accept before I'm dinged. |
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Date: November 3rd, 2015 11:18 AM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop No movement.
DEATH TO CORPORATE AMERIKKKA!!! |
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Date: November 6th, 2015 1:26 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29124407) |
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Date: November 12th, 2015 11:05 AM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop I got ding-fagged on Monday by the automated HR.
However today they emailed me and said they were still interested in me for a different position, as I alluded to in my Oct 28th post.
Odd case. |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:23 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop Update: Applied to a different jerb at this same company. After one HR screen and one phone interview I got an offer for $145K + 30% bonus which is an all in raise of $44K.
WLMAS IS ENRAGED |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:33 PM Author: curious rebellious plaza fortuitous meteor congrats man what sort of job? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35606280) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:38 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop Risk Management (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35606317) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:54 PM Author: Awkward legal warrant meetinghouse do you have a masters in risk management, or mba or something? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35606419) |
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Date: March 19th, 2018 3:00 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop Started in public accounting... went from there (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35638650) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 7:57 PM Author: curious rebellious plaza fortuitous meteor is that a JD jerb? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35606824) |
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Date: March 19th, 2018 3:00 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop No (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35638652) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:44 PM Author: violet thriller ticket booth trump supporter Is this a recent offer or were you closing the loop on the three year old thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35606351) |
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Date: March 19th, 2018 3:00 PM Author: cobalt parlor dog poop Recent offer w same company. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35638644) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:48 PM Author: Lavender hall deer antler welcome to carcosa (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35606385) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 7:42 PM Author: Aqua irradiated center laser beams ljl at how dolt OP muscular ginger is positively BRIMMING with pride that he gets to play corporate dress up/make believe at his value-subtracting COMPLIANCE PROFESSIONAL shitjerb all day
seriously how do droolers like this find XO, i still don't get it
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Date: March 17th, 2018 8:34 AM Author: Red internet-worthy corner (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35625010) |
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Date: March 19th, 2018 3:07 PM Author: Mauve out-of-control dysfunction gaming laptop (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35638713) |