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Live blogging my JERB application process with MEGA CORP

The modern job application process is fucking horrible and y...
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  10/14/15
What did you tell them when they asked current salary and yo...
Duck-like pale tank
  10/14/15
Told them 101, so basically a 5K exaggeration. Glass door ...
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  10/14/15
...
beady-eyed telephone hissy fit
  10/14/15
Looks like they'll either hire you or just not fill position...
Alcoholic naked round eye center
  10/14/15
She told me it was between me and an internal candidate but ...
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  10/14/15
120K is better than most people man who cares if you're work...
Alcoholic naked round eye center
  10/14/15
She's hot too :D
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  10/14/15
dont shit where u eat
Alcoholic naked round eye center
  10/14/15
...
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  10/14/15
counterpoint: why are you working at all? to make enough mon...
Elite Effete Location
  10/22/15
a comical notion indeed
Bateful stubborn water buffalo mad cow disease
  10/22/15
...
Elite Effete Location
  11/12/15
3rd interview today. Wearing a jet black suit just for XO
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  10/22/15
I would caution against this. I got a ding for this stunt an...
Contagious Background Story
  10/22/15
black suit is fine. only faggot lawyers care about that shit...
avocado cheese-eating theater stage goyim
  10/22/15
I hope you're planning to move out of your current metro bec...
Elite Effete Location
  10/22/15
ty for saying job apps are horrible. every time i go through...
Bateful stubborn water buffalo mad cow disease
  10/22/15
(clearly not a TALEO materman)
Shimmering Indecent Hall Halford
  10/22/15
fuck. i'm done here.
Bateful stubborn water buffalo mad cow disease
  10/22/15
...
Diverse coral gaping dopamine
  10/22/15
They are brother. This is bullshit.
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  10/22/15
http://imgur.com/7qpc1Dc Nose bleed 10 minutes before sta...
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  10/22/15
lol 180
stirring useless mental disorder incel
  10/22/15
;-(
Diverse coral gaping dopamine
  10/22/15
Nailed it anyway. im competing with an internal candidate ...
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  10/22/15
This shit is common. They'll probably make you take some shi...
Stimulating Green Twinkling Uncleanness
  10/22/15
womens suffrage and its consequences have been a disaster fo...
Very Tactful Bearded Turdskin Kitchen
  10/22/15
I had a phone interview with some bitch and she assured me t...
plum big base
  10/22/15
I've been trying to dump law for a year now with no success....
vivacious rough-skinned dilemma
  10/22/15
I don't write cover letters ever, but I'm not really switchi...
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  10/22/15
If you're applying through an online system without somebody...
Razzmatazz drunken library filthpig
  10/22/15
Final interview today with the person would be my boss's bos...
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  10/28/15
"... he did say he was concerned I was too senior for t...
multi-colored twinkling institution
  11/02/15
Cr. Like i said below, a very bad sign about how this place ...
Spruce main people wrinkle
  11/02/15
Agreed. Hopefully I'll never have to go through a process...
multi-colored twinkling institution
  11/02/15
This is MEGA CORP. you know this company and it is routine...
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  11/02/15
As I was leaving last Wednesday they said the 3 of them were...
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  11/02/15
This hiring process is itself a bad sign. Beware. The bos...
Spruce main people wrinkle
  11/02/15
I would normally agree but the superboss recently accepted h...
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  11/02/15
No movement. DEATH TO CORPORATE AMERIKKKA!!!
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  11/03/15
...
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  11/06/15
I got ding-fagged on Monday by the automated HR. However ...
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  11/12/15
Update: Applied to a different jerb at this same company. ...
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  03/14/18
congrats man what sort of job?
Geriatric prole
  03/14/18
Risk Management
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  03/14/18
do you have a masters in risk management, or mba or somethin...
black internal respiration stag film
  03/14/18
Started in public accounting... went from there
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  03/19/18
is that a JD jerb?
Geriatric prole
  03/14/18
No
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  03/19/18
Is this a recent offer or were you closing the loop on the t...
Flirting temple son of senegal
  03/14/18
Recent offer w same company.
Razzle Bull Headed Hospital
  03/19/18
welcome to carcosa
Curious Impressive Sandwich Crackhouse
  03/14/18
ljl at how dolt OP muscular ginger is positively BRIMMING wi...
soggy titillating preventive strike boistinker
  03/14/18
...
orange private investor
  03/17/18
...
Comical Blood Rage Azn
  03/19/18


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: October 14th, 2015 6:53 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

The modern job application process is fucking horrible and you bros will be going through it with me.

I work at mega corp and I applied ~2 weeks ago to another mega corp. the job based on glass door is ~20% higher pay (from 96K now to 120K) and a step up on the corp ladder. I'm between 70-85% objectively qualified.

Within 3 days of applying I got an email from HR. 3 days after that I interviewed w HR by phone. A week after that I interviewed with what would be my manager. It went very well.

So what the fuck is the point of this thread?

Not only am I supposed to interview with her boss next week, I also have to interview with her boss' boss two weeks from now. Why the fuck is this so absurdly painful?



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967569)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 14th, 2015 6:57 PM
Author: Duck-like pale tank

What did you tell them when they asked current salary and your desired salary range?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967595)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 14th, 2015 7:07 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

Told them 101, so basically a 5K exaggeration. Glass door actually says 135K for this job, but I have a friend in HR at this company and she said the mid point for this job is 115K so I told them "120K would make this an easy decision."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967639)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 14th, 2015 6:58 PM
Author: beady-eyed telephone hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967603)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 14th, 2015 6:58 PM
Author: Alcoholic naked round eye center

Looks like they'll either hire you or just not fill position. They can expect PERFECT PLUS (meaning exactly what they want AND a lil somethin somethin extra wink wink) these days.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 14th, 2015 7:10 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

She told me it was between me and an internal candidate but that if I did well with her boss I had a "very good shot." I think she preferred me over the internal candidate but she could have just been blowing smoke up my ass.

Also I looked at her LinkedIn and she is a year younger than me and would be my boss. Lol at my pathetic career.

:(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967650)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 14th, 2015 7:11 PM
Author: Alcoholic naked round eye center

120K is better than most people man who cares if you're working for abnormally successful people

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967652)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 14th, 2015 7:14 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

She's hot too :D

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967665)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 14th, 2015 7:14 PM
Author: Alcoholic naked round eye center

dont shit where u eat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967667)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 14th, 2015 7:16 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#28967677)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:36 AM
Author: Elite Effete Location

counterpoint: why are you working at all? to make enough money to impress hot chicks and bang them. So to avoid banging this hot chick in order to keep your job is reversing cause and effect, ergo, it is simply absurd. It's a comical notion.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020605)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:37 AM
Author: Bateful stubborn water buffalo mad cow disease

a comical notion indeed

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020606)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 12th, 2015 11:08 AM
Author: Elite Effete Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29166379)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:26 AM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

3rd interview today. Wearing a jet black suit just for XO

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020576)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:29 AM
Author: Contagious Background Story

I would caution against this. I got a ding for this stunt and had to get coffee for the table

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020582)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:31 AM
Author: avocado cheese-eating theater stage goyim

black suit is fine. only faggot lawyers care about that shit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020590)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:34 AM
Author: Elite Effete Location

I hope you're planning to move out of your current metro because word will get out and you will never find work in this town again

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020602)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:32 AM
Author: Bateful stubborn water buffalo mad cow disease

ty for saying job apps are horrible. every time i go through this process i despise myself and everyone around me but people act like it's a normal and natural way for things to be organized. it SUCKS

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020595)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:38 AM
Author: Shimmering Indecent Hall Halford

(clearly not a TALEO materman)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020615)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 9:39 AM
Author: Bateful stubborn water buffalo mad cow disease

fuck. i'm done here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29020617)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 5:02 PM
Author: Diverse coral gaping dopamine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023224)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 6:10 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

They are brother. This is bullshit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023560)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 4:16 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

http://imgur.com/7qpc1Dc

Nose bleed 10 minutes before start of interview. There was about 10X more blood than shown. Fuck my ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29022970)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 4:34 PM
Author: stirring useless mental disorder incel

lol 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023058)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 5:02 PM
Author: Diverse coral gaping dopamine

;-(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023226)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 6:09 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

Nailed it anyway. im competing with an internal candidate but I like my odds. I Might get gaped though. I will post my success or shame either way. Interview number 4 with her boss next week. What a bullshit process.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023559)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 5:04 PM
Author: Stimulating Green Twinkling Uncleanness

This shit is common. They'll probably make you take some shit test too and then forget they even administered it and want you to come back in to take it again. And then at the end of all that it will be 50/50 as to whether they even get the budget approved to hire a FTE. Lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 5:04 PM
Author: Very Tactful Bearded Turdskin Kitchen

womens suffrage and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023240)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 5:06 PM
Author: plum big base

I had a phone interview with some bitch and she assured me that they would "be in touch" within a few days. That was six weeks ago.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023253)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 5:13 PM
Author: vivacious rough-skinned dilemma

I've been trying to dump law for a year now with no success. I fucking hate filling out online applications. In fact, I'm to the point where I am going to refuse to write a new original cover letter for anything ever unless the posting specifically calls for it.

Job hunting is pure, fucking, faggot, flame.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023295)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 6:11 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

I don't write cover letters ever, but I'm not really switching career roles.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023564)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 6:16 PM
Author: Razzmatazz drunken library filthpig

If you're applying through an online system without somebody on the inside also passsing your resume along to the relevant people you're wasting your time. It sucks but it's how it is man. fTGE!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29023582)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2015 1:19 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

Final interview today with the person would be my boss's boss's boss. We had a good conversation but he did say he was concerned I was too senior for this role and he had a couple other more senior positions he might like me for. Said I had a nice presence about me for how young I was. Unsure if he was serious or letting me down easy.

I'm supposed to know something by Friday.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29059583)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 2nd, 2015 11:44 AM
Author: multi-colored twinkling institution

"... he did say he was concerned I was too senior for this role and he had a couple other more senior positions he might like me for."

LOL, it's stuff like this that always has me scratching my head. After reading your resume, an HR screen, and multiple interviews being "too senior" is why they don't want to hire you? Doesn't it seem like this could have been established within 5 - 10 minutes after a close read of your resume?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29093506)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 2nd, 2015 11:47 AM
Author: Spruce main people wrinkle

Cr. Like i said below, a very bad sign about how this place is run.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29093527)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 2nd, 2015 11:49 AM
Author: multi-colored twinkling institution

Agreed.

Hopefully I'll never have to go through a process like the OP's ever again. But, if I did, I'd love to turn around the interview and ask the questions posed in my previous post.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29093541)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 2nd, 2015 11:49 AM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

This is MEGA CORP. you know this company and it is routinely cited as one of the better run companies in its industry. This is the way it is at all large mega corps. Middle managers are rarely good.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29093542)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 2nd, 2015 11:33 AM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

As I was leaving last Wednesday they said the 3 of them were going to discuss it and make a decision by Friday. I haven't heard anything. Sounds like DING FAG to me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29093445)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 2nd, 2015 11:39 AM
Author: Spruce main people wrinkle

This hiring process is itself a bad sign. Beware.

The boss' boss' boss doesn't have enough confidence in their subordinates' word to let them make a hiring decision. No, they have to personally stick their nose in it and waste additional time and effort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29093479)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 2nd, 2015 11:51 AM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

I would normally agree but the superboss recently accepted his position from a competitor. He asked me about the hiring process and he complained about it as well.

My guess is they offered it to the internal candidate and are waiting for them to accept before I'm dinged.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29093550)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 3rd, 2015 11:18 AM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

No movement.

DEATH TO CORPORATE AMERIKKKA!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29100930)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 6th, 2015 1:26 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29124407)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 12th, 2015 11:05 AM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

I got ding-fagged on Monday by the automated HR.

However today they emailed me and said they were still interested in me for a different position, as I alluded to in my Oct 28th post.

Odd case.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#29166346)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 14th, 2018 6:23 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

Update: Applied to a different jerb at this same company. After one HR screen and one phone interview I got an offer for $145K + 30% bonus which is an all in raise of $44K.

WLMAS IS ENRAGED

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35606200)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 14th, 2018 6:33 PM
Author: Geriatric prole

congrats man what sort of job?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35606280)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 14th, 2018 6:38 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

Risk Management

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35606317)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 14th, 2018 6:54 PM
Author: black internal respiration stag film

do you have a masters in risk management, or mba or something?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35606419)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 19th, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

Started in public accounting... went from there

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35638650)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 14th, 2018 7:57 PM
Author: Geriatric prole

is that a JD jerb?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35606824)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 19th, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

No

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35638652)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 14th, 2018 6:44 PM
Author: Flirting temple son of senegal

Is this a recent offer or were you closing the loop on the three year old thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35606351)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 19th, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Razzle Bull Headed Hospital

Recent offer w same company.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35638644)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 14th, 2018 6:48 PM
Author: Curious Impressive Sandwich Crackhouse

welcome to carcosa

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35606385)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 14th, 2018 7:42 PM
Author: soggy titillating preventive strike boistinker

ljl at how dolt OP muscular ginger is positively BRIMMING with pride that he gets to play corporate dress up/make believe at his value-subtracting COMPLIANCE PROFESSIONAL shitjerb all day

seriously how do droolers like this find XO, i still don't get it



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35606767)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 17th, 2018 8:34 AM
Author: orange private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35625010)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 19th, 2018 3:07 PM
Author: Comical Blood Rage Azn



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3016999&forum_id=2#35638713)