life is so cruel bros

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#37637765)

Same deal with 24k, would be 1.6MM at age 40.

That's it, no private school.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#29653854)

Also, you have to account for inflation. LOL at getting 6% after inflation long term.

2-3% is if we're lucky and don't eventually stall like Japan.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236564)

Elite k-12 schooling that runs $35k+ a yr-->tier 2/3 ugrad-->$35k a yr job out of ugrad

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#29653777)

Kids from large urban areas have always ended up at UW-Madison because of its deep ties to the coastal Jewish community. 10 years ago the school was ranked just around the top 30, but as the US News has become more obsessed with privates that has changed a little.

I think the more apt comparison is when that kid ends up at like some weird T2 LAC

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236185)

They're not a "public Ivy", but they're a very good school that has an almost Michigan-like ability to attract coastal kids who want a traditional college experience (sports, fraternities, 180 college town).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236247)

Other publications do include Madison as a "public ivy" but again, it's a fucking irrelevant moniker, it's a totally meaningless term.

Sorry, my aspieness had to opine there.

Oh, and those coastal kids are incredibly Jewish. it has to do with the historic discrimination against jews by the coastal ivy/private schools. So in like the 40s and shit people went to Madison and Michigan and decades later their offspring and grandkids and so forth start attending the schools.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236256)

regardless, that would mean it IS a public ivy, then

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30237016)

Also, some kids really do benefit from smaller class sizes at private schools.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#29656364)

In a lot of towns, even populations with like 6 figures, it's more important that your kid went to the Jesuit school than their UG. When you move back home, that is what matters. Coastal people don't realize this. It's actually quite sad, imho.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236231)

St. Louis is a fantastic example: there's like one or two private Catholic schools in the area that are locally prestigious. Alumni, wherever they are, will hook other alumni up.

I went to both private and public school. The educational quality was the same, but I noticed that private schools, both at the high school and university level, do a much better job of creating a "family" mentality among their graduates.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236273)

like think le rosey but not le rosey because her family's elite but not THAT elite

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236552)

I don't mind them choosing BIGSTATEU over Ivy depending on which state university we're talking about, but there's some shit I just can't roll with.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#29656345)

It's the same way kids from private UGs talk about "state schools" when in reality, many of these "state schools" (never mind they are de facto private schools these days with decreasing state revenues) are higher ranked and better institutions. Like some kid going to Bates College or Boston University, "oh, I went to a PRIVATE school," thinking it has any meaningful difference over say, Penn State. It doesn't.

I will concede in some areas the private HS experience is necessary because the public schools are that bad (shout out to the big nigga EARL), but those are very rare circumstances, and usually elite urban areas and like truly poor areas where no one on XO is living.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236219)

it's a shitty bind to put kids in

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236234)

"Oh, my child over at St. Joe's..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236240)

Mr. AOH and I have actually had some fairly aggressive arguments on this point as he's much more along the lines of living in an area with strong but not superzippy/striverish public schools and just enriching their lives through nonmonetary means (spending time reading to them, walks in the woods and other flame) whereas I'm like "send those fuckers to Choate or let's buy in Darien, that'll enrich their lives so much more than some Blair Witch-infested woods"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236297)

Mr. AOH doesn't like the idea of superzips like Winnetka any more than he likes the idea of elite private schools. He thinks it's just as striverish to buy in a high-income neighborhood as it is to send your kids to a private school with prestige appeal.

If anything breaks us up, it'll be this issue.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236356)

don't send them to a place that DOESNT challenge them, don't send them to a ghetto school

if that means a local private, fine, if that means the good public suburban HS, fine

it's a little insane to me that people who live in areas with good public schools, like Top 1000 USNWR HS type places (i.e. any T1-T2 city's 'burbs where XO folks might live) feel compelled to send their kid to a private HS. Maybe if they have a special need or talent like an art school.

If you can afford it, then do whatever.

If you can get your kid into the elite prep schools and don't mind them being alcoholic drug addicts who hate u, go for it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236313)

The other part of me knows that as long as my kid goes to a Top 100 USNWR HS, he'll be fine. Bronxville High produced no derelicts.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236338)

well i'd rather not live in some SPS neighborhood that doesn't meet my needs for 15+ years so my kids can get that good public school education, i'd rather live where i want to live and spend on the private

lotta people like that

I actually LJL at people who buy some overpriced house because of the school district and then have to live in some shitty tiny house for literally 50% of their remaining adult years just so their kids don't have to be around a black person LJL life is too short for that BULL SHIT

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236548)

I just don't like thinking of a kid as this thing to just project a bunch of shit on then expect them to fall in line in order to get a return on investment -- I was also raised in a low education, lower income environment (as I've brought up before in threads we've both posted in), so I don't really have a generational pattern of people getting great education then doing great shit with it -- I can't relate to the frame of mind

however, I live in Chicago and will likely raise children here, so I definitely face a situation where education will have costs unless we buy a house in a good public school district (which would save us $$$ up until middle school)

I also tend to believe that the kind of mind that does well and the kind of person who is interesting and engaged in the world is a product of what happens at home -- school can't create that

and I value that above how the kid is employed or which UG they choose (if they even choose one)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236349)

Unfortunately this is spot on, and is the argument that Mr. AOH uses against me when I argue for the Choate/Andover route or the Winnetka route (public school in a superzip).

He wants a middle road where we're both invested in the child's life outside of school and where we're teaching the kid to be engaged and curious but not necessarily striverish or status-focused. Of course he wants great public schools in safe, somewhat diverse and vibrant communities, but anything on the USNWR 1000 Top High School list is fine with him.

He's from a similar background to me - multigenerational UMC+ kids whose parents invested heavily in them and expected much on their return. The difference is that he thinks it's bullshit and I'm still a Kool-Aid drinker.

I don't think this will break us up, but I have my fears.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236390)

then at one point I go, "let's have the kid first and let it be born and see if it's okay and healthy and just feel lucky that when the time comes we can afford both the time and resources to do this well on both tracks"

and now I've chilled out for a while

it's important to do the best for kids, but I think having resources and education has really tricked a lot of us into believing that we have wayyyyy more control than we really do

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236407)

But yeah, one of my good friends just got an abnormal amnio back (or whatever it could be which signals that her kid may potentially be born with flippers) and there's so much control we don't have. Both of us have an almost shameful amount of resources and education between us, and now she may be forced to decide what to do with a child that could be born with flippers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236476)

My father was obsessed with the idea of being this anti-elitist crusader, and he made a big show of sending one of my brothers to a couple of failing public elementary schools. It was a disaster which continues to haunt my brother to this day. The education wasn't that bad, but my brother had almost no friends. Being surrounded by impoverished children (blacks kids at one school, rural whites at another) caused him to be isolated and resulted in the other kids bullying him for years. All so my father could flip the bird to the local bourgeoisie in our town. My brother eventually ended up going to high school at a top boarding school, and the difference was night and day. Again, not just because of the education, but because he was around a great peer group with whom he could be friends, and because he had the pride of being associated with such a prestigious school. Maybe it sounds shallow, but where the rubber met the road, that was how it played out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30237212)

His sweet spot is a place like Austin where we can live very well and avail ourselves of great public schools and other lifestyle amenities without tapping ourselves out financially or having our peers and our kids' peers be overly focused on striving/status at the expense of developing other character traits.

Our joint income is right around the level where we'd live well in 99% of the country, but there are many couples in the NYC area at our level or more who are taking home nothing at the end of the day once you factor in mortgage, property tax, private schools (or the $2M cost of a home in a good public school district), cost of raising kids, and general cost of lifestyle.

It's going to boil down to staying in NYC or leaving, and the only world I've known outside NYC is expat life overseas, and that's even more of a striver bubble.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30240222)

In terms of schooling, my advice is to send your kids to the best private school in whatever smaller city you choose, if you move to one. The education is good, but more importantly, the kids will grow up thinking of themselves as future leaders. They will be surrounded by the children of local business dynasties, not striver service partners.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30240300)

this really mostly happens with LACs IME, because they feel the need to fiercely justify going to a school nobody has ever heard of by reminding people of the EXPERIENCE.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236594)

private school isn't a tool to get into HYPSM, it's a method of achieving better education and a more self-actualized existence

please killself now the lot of you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236429)

Most proles think going to an Ivy is having is made. But most of these kids end up not getting good jobs these days!!! LJL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30236441)

WTF

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30237226)

In nearly all situations where the kid ends up at some TTT college, they would have been better off with the tuition money being put in a trust in their name. That we are even arguing this shows how warped xoxo is about dumb prestige. Here's another life lesson - going to an "ivy" like LOLPenn and studying English doesn't give you that many advantages if you don't get a good job after graduation. I'd much rather be a kid at penn state with rich parents in corporate jobs than some philosopher at LOLPenn who has no idea how to get a job with their humanities degree.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30240268)

This can't be stressed enough.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#30333940)

I work as a recruiter. There are legit 120K jobs available for LOLPenn English majors that are not available for State school kids, even Berkeley not flame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3104778&forum_id=2#36941680)