"teach me to pitch", said the Kodiak bear to Livan Hernandez
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Date: April 10th, 2016 3:34 PM Author: histrionic spot foreskin
six months later:
1,500 pound Kodiak bear takes the mound for the Colorado Rockies against the Diamondbacks. Paul Goldschmitt takes an 88 mph fastball right down the middle for Strike 1. The game pauses briefly as the umpire throws the ball to the Rockies dugout, so it can be given to the bear later as a souvenir, his first MLB pitch.
Paul Goldschmitt steps out of the batter's box, takes a few practice hacks. He steps back in. The bear kicks, deals...Goldschmitt swings and misses big on a 60 mph changeup.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242192) |
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Date: April 10th, 2016 3:48 PM Author: histrionic spot foreskin
Pitch 3 is a slow, big curveball. Paul Goldschmitt looks eager to swing at it, but all he can do is ground it softly to pitcher.
The Kodiak bear picks up the ball with his mouth, then flings it to first with one flick of his massive, muscular head. The first baseman catches a slobbery baseball for the out.
The bear stays on the mound and roars. He's gotten his man out.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242298) |
Date: April 10th, 2016 5:52 PM Author: impressive base pozpig
Baseball's been bear-y bear-y good to me.
- Bear Chico Escuela
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243148) |
Date: April 24th, 2016 1:31 PM Author: histrionic spot foreskin
In a late season game, the bear is brought in to face Yasiel Puig at Chavez Ravine.
Pitch one is a lazy, 80-mph fastball right down the middle. Puig was taking all the way - he hears groans from his dugout and from some fans about why he didn't swing at such an easy pitch.
Pitch two is the exact same fastball, except this time Yasiel saw it coming. He swings and hits it a mile down the right field line, just barely foul: he misses a home run by inches.
Having read the scouting report and the Wikipedia article on Livan Hernandez, Yasiel is expecting the bear to throw him the same pitch on 0-2. He swings...and misses on a 60 mph eephus pitch.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30336961) |
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