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"teach me to pitch", said the Kodiak bear to Livan Hernandez

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histrionic spot foreskin
  04/10/16
...
provocative toilet seat
  04/10/16
...
burgundy spectacular ticket booth messiness
  04/10/16
...
Zippy plaza
  04/10/16
six months later: 1,500 pound Kodiak bear takes the mound...
histrionic spot foreskin
  04/10/16
Teaching bears *anything* is dangerous. They're to be ident...
Zippy plaza
  04/10/16
...
geriatric electric locus really tough guy
  04/10/16
...
provocative toilet seat
  04/10/16
Pitch 3 is a slow, big curveball. Paul Goldschmitt looks eag...
histrionic spot foreskin
  04/10/16
xo kodiak bear
provocative toilet seat
  04/10/16
he's down to Earth enough that he is willing to pose for pic...
histrionic spot foreskin
  04/10/16
rate this MLB player who broke the bear bearrier to integrat...
provocative toilet seat
  04/10/16
...
coiffed hall idea he suggested
  05/19/17
180
Awkward degenerate
  05/19/17
...
coiffed hall idea he suggested
  12/22/20
...
Dashing potus stage
  12/22/20
...
burgundy spectacular ticket booth messiness
  04/10/16
...
adventurous charcoal church
  04/10/16
...
Beady-eyed snowy range pocket flask
  04/10/16
...
Navy racy mood
  01/19/18
...
Navy racy mood
  04/23/18
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Navy racy mood
  08/29/18
...
adventurous charcoal church
  04/10/16
...
Navy racy mood
  01/19/18
...
Olive Affirmative Action Giraffe
  04/10/16
*nabs Mike Trout and Tim Salmon in his mouth and viciously t...
Beady-eyed snowy range pocket flask
  04/10/16
...
histrionic spot foreskin
  04/10/16
...
provocative toilet seat
  04/10/16
...
cowardly resort
  04/10/16
...
histrionic spot foreskin
  04/10/16
...
geriatric electric locus really tough guy
  04/10/16
...
Awkward degenerate
  05/19/17
...
coiffed hall idea he suggested
  05/19/17
lmfao
splenetic round eye
  01/19/18
...
Dashing potus stage
  12/22/20
...
embarrassed to the bone brunch goal in life
  04/10/16
Asked about his new relief pitcher after the game, Rockies m...
histrionic spot foreskin
  04/10/16
...
provocative toilet seat
  04/10/16
...
adventurous charcoal church
  04/10/16
...
histrionic spot foreskin
  04/10/16
Baseball's been bear-y bear-y good to me. - Bear Chico Es...
impressive base pozpig
  04/10/16
...
histrionic spot foreskin
  04/10/16
...
histrionic spot foreskin
  04/11/16
...
histrionic spot foreskin
  04/24/16
In a late season game, the bear is brought in to face Yasiel...
histrionic spot foreskin
  04/24/16
...
Awkward degenerate
  05/19/17
...
frozen associate pit
  05/19/17
...
Razzle Principal's Office Immigrant
  10/07/17
...
Bistre love of her life
  01/19/18
...
passionate cruise ship milk
  01/19/18
one of the best threads i've ever seen on xo
Navy racy mood
  01/22/18
...
Odious Voyeur
  01/22/18
...
tripping excitant house mad-dog skullcap
  01/22/18
...
Razzle Principal's Office Immigrant
  04/09/18
...
Navy racy mood
  08/29/18
...
Carmine tank dragon
  12/11/19
...
Dashing potus stage
  08/02/21


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:23 PM
Author: histrionic spot foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242089)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:23 PM
Author: provocative toilet seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242094)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:23 PM
Author: burgundy spectacular ticket booth messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242096)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:24 PM
Author: Zippy plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242098)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:34 PM
Author: histrionic spot foreskin

six months later:

1,500 pound Kodiak bear takes the mound for the Colorado Rockies against the Diamondbacks. Paul Goldschmitt takes an 88 mph fastball right down the middle for Strike 1. The game pauses briefly as the umpire throws the ball to the Rockies dugout, so it can be given to the bear later as a souvenir, his first MLB pitch.

Paul Goldschmitt steps out of the batter's box, takes a few practice hacks. He steps back in. The bear kicks, deals...Goldschmitt swings and misses big on a 60 mph changeup.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242192)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:38 PM
Author: Zippy plaza

Teaching bears *anything* is dangerous. They're to be identified, isolated, and exterminated. *Teaching* them is giving them the tools for our own destruction. Remember how the Battle of the Yukon started.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242218)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:50 PM
Author: geriatric electric locus really tough guy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243130)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:38 PM
Author: provocative toilet seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242223)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:48 PM
Author: histrionic spot foreskin

Pitch 3 is a slow, big curveball. Paul Goldschmitt looks eager to swing at it, but all he can do is ground it softly to pitcher.

The Kodiak bear picks up the ball with his mouth, then flings it to first with one flick of his massive, muscular head. The first baseman catches a slobbery baseball for the out.

The bear stays on the mound and roars. He's gotten his man out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242298)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:50 PM
Author: provocative toilet seat

xo kodiak bear

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242314)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:52 PM
Author: histrionic spot foreskin

he's down to Earth enough that he is willing to pose for pictures with fans

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c0/ca/d4/c0cad4bba21979c604c93784b2127dae.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242350)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:54 PM
Author: provocative toilet seat

rate this MLB player who broke the bear bearrier to integrate baseball. what a hero

http://i.imgur.com/K7hcevV.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242362)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:07 AM
Author: coiffed hall idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343419)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:07 AM
Author: Awkward degenerate

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343421)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2020 10:38 AM
Author: coiffed hall idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#41596295)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2020 10:39 AM
Author: Dashing potus stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#41596305)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:53 PM
Author: burgundy spectacular ticket booth messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242357)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:53 PM
Author: adventurous charcoal church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242360)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:05 PM
Author: Beady-eyed snowy range pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242472)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 10:35 AM
Author: Navy racy mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35188534)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 23rd, 2018 10:14 AM
Author: Navy racy mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35899336)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2018 11:06 AM
Author: Navy racy mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#36707896)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:53 PM
Author: adventurous charcoal church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242356)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 10:34 AM
Author: Navy racy mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35188531)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 3:54 PM
Author: Olive Affirmative Action Giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242364)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:05 PM
Author: Beady-eyed snowy range pocket flask

*nabs Mike Trout and Tim Salmon in his mouth and viciously tears them apart as they flap their slimy piscine bodies around the bases*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242465)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:05 PM
Author: histrionic spot foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242471)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:06 PM
Author: provocative toilet seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242479)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:15 PM
Author: cowardly resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242525)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:23 PM
Author: histrionic spot foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242561)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:51 PM
Author: geriatric electric locus really tough guy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243138)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:08 AM
Author: Awkward degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343422)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:09 AM
Author: coiffed hall idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343436)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 11:00 AM
Author: splenetic round eye

lmfao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35188672)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2020 10:37 AM
Author: Dashing potus stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#41596283)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:25 PM
Author: embarrassed to the bone brunch goal in life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242569)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:43 PM
Author: histrionic spot foreskin

Asked about his new relief pitcher after the game, Rockies manager Walt Weiss said "What I like best about Bearsie is that he goes right after batters. He doesn't get spooked. Some of these bears, they lose interest in pitching to you if you play dead or spray them with pepper. Not Bearsie - he just keeps throwing strikes."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242658)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 4:43 PM
Author: provocative toilet seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30242661)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:50 PM
Author: adventurous charcoal church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243125)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:44 PM
Author: histrionic spot foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243089)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 5:52 PM
Author: impressive base pozpig

Baseball's been bear-y bear-y good to me.

- Bear Chico Escuela

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30243148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 10th, 2016 8:30 PM
Author: histrionic spot foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30244482)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 11th, 2016 11:05 PM
Author: histrionic spot foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30253214)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2016 10:16 AM
Author: histrionic spot foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30336249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2016 1:31 PM
Author: histrionic spot foreskin

In a late season game, the bear is brought in to face Yasiel Puig at Chavez Ravine.

Pitch one is a lazy, 80-mph fastball right down the middle. Puig was taking all the way - he hears groans from his dugout and from some fans about why he didn't swing at such an easy pitch.

Pitch two is the exact same fastball, except this time Yasiel saw it coming. He swings and hits it a mile down the right field line, just barely foul: he misses a home run by inches.

Having read the scouting report and the Wikipedia article on Livan Hernandez, Yasiel is expecting the bear to throw him the same pitch on 0-2. He swings...and misses on a 60 mph eephus pitch.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#30336961)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:08 AM
Author: Awkward degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343427)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2017 11:05 AM
Author: frozen associate pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#33343400)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 7th, 2017 10:24 PM
Author: Razzle Principal's Office Immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#34390907)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 10:31 AM
Author: Bistre love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35188520)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: passionate cruise ship milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35189035)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 22nd, 2018 11:10 AM
Author: Navy racy mood

one of the best threads i've ever seen on xo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35209019)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 22nd, 2018 11:17 AM
Author: Odious Voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35209075)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 22nd, 2018 11:21 AM
Author: tripping excitant house mad-dog skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35209091)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 9th, 2018 10:14 PM
Author: Razzle Principal's Office Immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#35803240)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2018 2:49 PM
Author: Navy racy mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#36709791)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 11th, 2019 3:34 PM
Author: Carmine tank dragon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#39249503)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 2nd, 2021 9:21 PM
Author: Dashing potus stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3191233&forum_id=2#42886664)