If they're too young, it's immaturity and drama you don't want

If you want a 'class' chick, guess what? She can command a guy who is going to make huge $, all the SES status bullshit, even if you're a UMC guy yourself, she expects the UMC lifestyle she grew up with no matter what she says

I hate to draw a life parallel or something meta or about society-at-large, but everything is too damn competitive these days, such a small number of people "win" and have resources to even be in these games

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31031340)

at least throw a chancla at him

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31031565)

like lotta bros still hit on my wife, like dr bros who work with her and shit, but she shuts them down

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31031570)

"oh man this bitch is too boring"

MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND YOU SOUND LIKE A FUCKING WOMAN

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31031559)

have you ever considered that maybe you live in a fucked up part of the us?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31031571)

There's a huge gray area between "completely submissive" and "modern-day independent woman".

When I think of "completely submissive" I think of that woman that Eddie Murphy was supposed to marry in Coming to America. I can imagine that making all of the decisions in a relationship, even the small day-to-day ones like what to watch on TV and where to eat, could get tiresome after a while.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#33666983)

a lot of them are just straight up shrews. some are very anti-marriage or divorced.

american females can get away with whoring and shrewdom because its a sellers market but in korea this effect is less pronounced. basically every korean girl knows that if they aint shacked up by 30, they are FUCKED. completely fucked.

...which is perfect for guys like me who like older women. when i was younger i thought that marrying an older woman would be fine but now that im getting older and older women arent as "old" to me as before, marrying a younger chick def. seems TCR.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31031564)

in general it is much harder to meet women in america than it is here and meeting older women here is even easier. after you've fucked around 300-400 girls (with a good proportion being 30+ yrs old) you just naturally come to these conclusions.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31031578)

perhaps you don't have that need

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31031585)

Do you really admire Tony Soprano? Which part? His loveless marriage to a crazy person? A mistress who is even crazier? His gigantic belly and panic attacks? The fact that no one actually likes him? That his daughter was dating a black guy? ("I wouldn't have a problem with that." Yes you would if you were Tony.) What part do you admire?

The answer you tell yourself is you admire his power, that he can do whatever he wants. No he can't. The whole show was nothing but repeated examples of how limited his options were. The things you think you admire-- having hot sex with the other crazy woman at his psychiatrist's office, eating microwaved Sysco at Italian restaurants, avoiding his wife-- can be done by anyone, you don't need to be Tony to do it. But when you do it.... it just doesn't feel the same. I know.

What people admire about Tony isn't his freedom; that thing you think is freedom is actually the lack of freedom. His story. His identity-- that he has one, an obvious one, a clear one. Tony Soprano is not free, his behavior is completely tethered to what makes sense for his character. He acts exactly like Tony Soprano would act. That's what people want: the limitations of that identity: if I know who I am, I know what I am capable of, I know my strengths and my limits, I know how I'd react to unknown dangers. And I want other people to know this. If other people know who I am, I wouldn't have to keep proving myself. Strike that: I wouldn't have to prove myself in the first place.

http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2009/10/don_draper_voted_most_influent_1.html

http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2009/10/you_want_to_be_don_draper_you.html

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31031646)

you mean, Peterman?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31031752)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#36798748)

"Ok, fine, but he is masculine, strong, suave..." You're saying something you don't even believe. If you met Don Draper at the company picnic, would you think he was a real man? Would you want to emulate him? Would you want to take over his body and life?

"Well, certain characteristics..." Now you're almost there. You want to be an a la carte version of Don Draper. You want to pick and choose the good parts. When he's voted Most Influential, they mean only the iceman, suave, sly, creative, "masculine" Don Draper. That's not a person, that's a brand image.

"But I want to be a ladies man like Don Draper. Back then it was easier, because affairs were more acceptable."

No they weren't. Leaving aside morality, cheating on your wife means that you haven't fully connected to her, or have lost some of that connection. You don't have to be Don Draper to pull that off. "Well, I want to be as suave as he is, I want to pick up girls like he can." It's the same disconnectedness. You could do it, too, then you'll lose the ability to be deeply connected to someone. You can't do both simultaneously.

Consider a guy in 2009 who says he can't meet women in bars. The biggest mistake guys make when trying to meet women is being overzealous, overinvested. They are unable to differentiate a one-night-stand from a full relationship. They approach both in the same way. When you're trying to get laid, you can't be trying to show her your soul, and you can't be trying to see hers. It has to be light, fun. The "pick-up tricks" work because they delay the guy from doing what comes naturally, which is being stupid, dropping all 52 of his cards in her lap and saying, "see?! I'm worth it, I think!"

This is why many men who actually get what they think they wanted are still unsatisfied. They meet a hot girl and it turns into a relationship, and they're upset they can't get one night stands. But if they got a one night stand, they'd be upset they couldn't convert it to a relationship (and of course it would be her fault for being a slut, not knowing what she wants, etc.) You can't have it both ways.

Here's how the logic disintegrates: if you're at a bar and see a woman with a tattoo on her tailbone and big hoop earrings, we can all agree, given the right circumstances, she'd probably be up for a one night stand. "Yeah, but she only wants a guy who X---" Maybe, but she'd probably settle for you. "I don't want her to settle for me, I want her to want me." Then you don't really want a one night stand, do you?

She already knows all of this. Just as you think you can tell those are implants, she's has you sized up from 100 paces.

Here's how you succeed: you have to have confidence in yourself, while simultaneously accepting that it could just as easily have been some other guy. If you're not comfortable with that, get out of the bar.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31031652)

Draper can seduce women easily because he has both confidence and also lives, perpetually, in that state of emotional disconnectedness that let a girl know you're not going to get all mushy on her. But that means he also doesn't connect with his wife, nor she with him; that's why the affairs "aren't a big deal." It has nothing to do with the year being 1960. It's just a bad marriage.

You should note that his disconnectedness doesn't make his wife less connected to him (though it doesn't help.) His disconnectedness lead him to marry a woman who was not likely to be able to fully connect to him. Many times, you get only the relationship you're ready for.

This isn't unique to Draper. Look at Campbell. He can cheat on his wife with almost no guilt because he's disconnected from her; but of course she is just as disconnected from him. She doesn't love him, she needs him as a supporting cast in her "perfect wife and mother" movie.

The show doesn't depict a "different time;" it depicts a (somewhat improbable) scenario where everyone in a 200 mile radius is a narcissist.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31031658)

1) Don't look for a woman that bores you. If she bores you, then you two aren't compatible and all it will take is a major shock to the system (such as having kids) to fuck things up just enough to kill the relationship.

2) The big test is "will this person make uncomfortable situations more comfortable". This can be anything from being stuck in traffic for several hours, being stuck at an airport overnight, getting food poisoning on vacation. Life is about dealing with setbacks and inconveniences. Pick someone who makes these things more bearable, or even kinda fun and magical. PROTIP: You will never refer to this kind of person as "boring".

3) Pick someone whose intelligence you respect. Also, being with someone who is genuinely dumb is going to be a liability in the long run.

4) Pick someone who has her own shit going on outside the relationship. This is a sign of mental health.

5) The obvious stuff of being on a similar page (or being able to compromise) with respect to kids, marriage timeline, geography.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31032291)

I would also add that you need to find a good team player (and you also need to be a team player as well). Someone who is willing to commit themselves to you and who respects who you are and your intelligence, etc.

You need to desperately avoid women who view you as some pawn in their life story they've already written because eventually their story won't work out and they will hate you without even knowing who you are. You need someone with their own life but not someone who is so self involved with themselves and their accomplishments to the point of not being head over heels in love with you.

This is why it's so hard for single women over 30. If they want kids they are forced to push things along, and that is not a healthy way to grow a relationship.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31032368)

Yes. It's a two-way street. Both parties need to be a team player, and anyone who wants to be in a relationship should work on their own "team player" skills.

"You need someone with their own life but not someone who is so self involved with themselves and their accomplishments to the point of not being head over heels in love with you."

This goes for anyone who wants to be in a relationship. A lot of people I know of both genders claim to want nothing more than to be in a relationship, but they are all preoccupied with their own STUFF and don't have time to cultivate connections.

"This is why it's so hard for single women over 30. If they want kids they are forced to push things along, and that is not a healthy way to grow a relationship."

I think a lot of this is flame, and depends on the region. Women flip out at 30 not because of kids, but because of being single and competing with their married sorority sisters. Hell, women flip out at 25 in some parts of the country.

Age isn't so much the issue as it is finding a woman who isn't prone to flipping out about timeline or competing with her social media coterie.

Timeline for kids starts to become an issue when a girl is pushing up against 40, and a lot of the newer fertility studies suggest that fertility doesn't really drop off a cliff until a woman's early 40s anyway. I say this as a soulless urban global capitalist who knows a lot of 37-year old first-time mommies.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31032384)

Kill yourself, faggot.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31032985)

Do you realise how insanely rare this quality is in a woman?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31032975)

Most guys don't really have many hobbies either.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31034562)

If someone is dependent on you to be their entire universe, that's a huge responsibility on you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31033096)

Someone who only defines himself or herself through his or her romantic relationships is co-dependent and unhealthy.

I'm not saying that this person should be "entitled" to think that their shit makes them soooooo much better than anyone else. That's not healthy either.

You also sound like you don't really respect women who have interests other than you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#31033064)

Worked for someone I know.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3301322&forum_id=2#33665852)