My self-summary

I'm always trying to understand people and their stories. I write at bars, get weirdly meditative lifting weights, and lend an empathetic ear whenever I can. Happiest discussing big, open questions with a small, close group of friends.

When I was 26, I left a straightforward life path because I needed a winding road to figure myself out. Now I can say I've experienced life so dependable I lost touch with myself and so unstable that my feet barely touched the ground and I lost my sense of community. I've learned the importance of nourishing both, even if I'm still working out the details.

What I’m doing with my life

Writing and friendship are high on my priorities list, and I try to make them my focus. I spent August-December of 2016 fighting Hodgkin’s lymphoma (prognosis is excellent). It knocked me off track for a bit, although some cool opportunities presented themselves. Now, it feels wonderful to be getting back to my novel, volunteering teaching creative writing, freelance editing, and teaching yoga. Also, my hair’s still short (but it totally exists now!), and I’m bald in some of my pictures.

I’m really good at

Gut feelings and insights about people

Traveling solo

Direct and honest communication

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

Books

Margaret Atwood’s The Blind Assassin is a highwire act.

Cheryl Strayed’s memoir Wild made me feel less alone during a difficult journey.

Redeployment by Phil Klay should be required reading for any citizen whose country sends soldiers into war.

Junot Diaz gives literary fiction a much-needed infusion of geekery in The Brief Wondrous life of Oscar Wao.

The books I’d most like to read again for the first time are Kazu Ishiguro’s creepy and heartbreaking Never Let Me Go and Marcus Zusak’s The Book Thief.

I realize there’s a conspicuous lack of dead white guys on this list (actually, the departed are completely unrepresented, knock on wood). So I’ll add that I’d be reluctant to read any poetry collection that didn’t feature a lot of Yeats. Boom, diversity.

Movies

I have the original Star Wars trilogy pretty much memorized. If we ever watch one together and I say something like, “Do you mind if I say the lines out loud during the movie?” please realize I mean Every. Single. Line.

TV Shows

Text me if you watch The Americans.

Music

I’m weirdly sensitive to sound and experience a lot of music as basically a form of assault. That’s probably why I never got super into it. The artists I’m drawn to tend towards the folksy and the gentle. “Kathy’s Song” might be the most gorgeous piece I’ve ever heard. I grew up on Joni Mitchell and James Taylor. My go-to Pandora station is Mumford and Sons. Mozart’s Requiem could reliably reduce me to tears for about a decade, but no longer.

The six things I could never do without

Empathy

Support from people I believe in

Comfortable walking shoes

Wit

Retro-inspired fashion

A dream that's front and center

I spend a lot of time thinking about

When I first saw the film The Battle of Algiers, I thought it was awesome that the Algerians structured their movement the same way the Moon colonists did in Robert Heinlein’s The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, and I wondered if they’d read the book. Now that I’m older and wiser, I realize it’s actually pretty pathetic that Mike the moon-revolt-organizing supercomputer couldn't think up a better insurgency structure than the one a bunch of humans used in the 1950s.

On a typical Friday night I am

At a play that's entertaining and makes me think.

Catching up with a few close friends.

You should message me if

You'll meet right away. I can't have a conversation with you if I can't read your nonverbal cues. Let's hang out face to face.

You connect deeply to the people in your life. You are driven to understand others, and you will appreciate someone who is driven to understand you.

You're compassionate. You don’t engage in a competition to care the least. Your sense of morality begins with your treatment of others, and then extends to creating an ethical society and an ethical world.

You're GGG. You’re dominant in the bedroom, but can handle getting your ass kicked outside of it. You’re giving, but selfishly so. You can almost come from the way a woman clenches and gushes around your fingers.

You've earned your own respect. Someone who has tested her mettle is more likely to elicit your empathy than your insecurity.

You’re not in it for the chase. I try to behave like a gentleman when I’m dating. It’s important to me to treat you with courtesy and warmth, and to not keep you guessing about my interest. There are plenty of uncertainties in your life; wondering whether I’ll text you back is not going to be one of them. If this will bore you, then we’re not a match.

You're looking for a partner. Not a distraction, not a fling, not a rescuer, not a therapist, and not a side piece.

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*****Contact Info*****

Hi, I'm Ricki and I can have a neglectful relationship with my Okcupid inbox. While I want to hear from you, I don't want to wade through fifty "hey cutie" messages to find your gem.

If I messaged you first or we "liked" each other, go ahead and reply - you'll make it past my filters. Otherwise, the best way to get in touch is by text. Read the clues below to figure out my 10-digit phone number (some light thinking and light googling may be required). Then send me a text message with your profile name. If you don’t hear back from me within 24 hours, you texted the wrong number.

(two digits) The last two digits of the year the Soviet Union collapsed

(one digit) three squared

(one digit) The number of people who would have to be killed/incapacitated/removed from office for the President pro tempore of the Senate to become President of the United States (HINT: it's not 2)

(two digits) The prime number between 83 and 97

(two digits) The last two digits of the year in which a radio broadcast of Orson Wells’ War of the Worlds led some to believe there had been an alien attack, and allegedly caused mass panic in the eastern United States

(one digit) - Despite its importance to mathematics, many ancient cultures did not have a name for this digit. Indian mathematicians developed a name during the 7th century, and it was introduced to Europe during the 11th century as part of the Hindu-Arabic number system.

(one digit) - same as above

Yeah, my number looks like it belongs to a business, but it doesn’t. Also, it's not a New York area code.

*****Okay, I texted you. Now what?*****

I’ll take a look at your profile. If I don’t think it’s a match, I’ll let you know over text.

If I think there might be a match, we’ll set up a time and place to meet. I prefer not to message back and forth before meeting up, but if this makes you uncomfortable, I’m happy to oblige with some online ice breaking.

A first meeting with me is explicitly a hangout and not a date. I expect to pay for myself, and I try to keep it fairly brief. I also hope you’ll join me in avoiding scripted, resume-exchanging small talk. Let’s not compare notes on where we’re from, how many siblings we have, where and what we’ve studied, and what jobs we’ve held.

Instead, let’s talk about the polarization of America, how it feels to wake up alone in a foreign country, that fascinating article you just read on earthquakes (bring it!), what you suspect your great-grandfather got up to after going AWOL from the Ottoman army during WWI, whether our generation expects too much career fulfillment, the possible anti semite who sat next to me on the subway, whether we should just let pandas go extinct, how you wish you’d spent prom night, misogyny and the Beat generation, whether our society needs a modern “go west, young man” hero narrative, the pitfalls of personality disorder diagnoses, and that Helen Fisher TED talk that really resonated with you. If it turns out there’s nothing to talk about, don’t worry. We can fire up your okcupid app, put our heads together, and try to find someone better suited to you.

After we meet, I’ll leave it to you to decide whether you’d like to ask me on a date.

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It's a Casablanca reference.

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Oh, crap. I forgot to say my Myers Briggs.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3531177&forum_id=2#32659178)

Jesus Fucking Christ

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3531177&forum_id=2#32659205)

LJL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3531177&forum_id=2#33079617)