Your SAHM wife: "We need a maid, also we do chores 50/50."
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: May 21st, 2017 9:15 PM Author: self-centered flickering party of the first part
M
O
D
S
!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3621989&forum_id=2#33361789) |
Date: May 21st, 2017 9:17 PM Author: Grizzly Stage Hominid
i have two mexicans clean my house once a week and i am nagged constantly about chores.
i'm currently in the middle of a 300 hour biglaw month and i got snapped at today because i forgot to load the dishwasher.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3621989&forum_id=2#33361810) |
Date: May 21st, 2017 10:58 PM Author: Vigorous Garnet Property
Literally bought or prepared every meal consumed by all household members since Friday including my parents. Cleaned entire house Friday night and again tonight (not like scrubbing toilets or mopping, but did dishes, wiped down table, kids chairs, counters, vacuumed, picked up play room) and I've been telling her all weekend I have work to do that I just now got to late as fuck Sunday night when I'm already getting shitty emails. She is acting like she deserves a medal for doing the dishes yesterday and doing three loads of laundry today. She also took off to go shopping for a total of like 7 hours between Sat and Sun leaving me to care for two preschoolers with my septuagenarian parents who are way past the physical condition to keep up. And she's literally "mad that I'm mad." I can't wait to tell our marriage counselor about all this on Tuesday.
I have to remind myself like ten times a day how expensive a divorce would be and how much less I would see my kids. But every woman I see under 30 wearing yoga pants that is height/weight proportionate could have me in a matter of seconds if just she smiled and waved me over to her. It's really hard to see how this lasts past when the kids are old enough to want to hang out with friends more than us.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3621989&forum_id=2#33363200) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2017 12:50 PM Author: Vigorous Garnet Property
LOL, will provide an update if anyone is curious.
EDIT: Sorry I lost this tab.
So she cut off counseling like two weeks after this. It was prompted partly because she found something on my phone that she mistook as evidence of infidelity, and though I ultimately proved it wasn't she basically used it as an excuse to say she was tired of trying. I should also add that my original post in this thread wasn't at all representative of our normal split of housework and she was basically throwing a fit that week because we talked about my parents visiting in counseling that week and I said some harsh and real shit that she struggled to accept.
We teetered very close to the edge of divorce all summer, but we both ultimately had to admit to ourselves that the prospect of being divorced and sharing custody, splitting up our stuff sounds awful. I.e. neither of us actually wants out or envisions a better life apart. We're just sick of each other's shit and have a hard time picturing how things can fixed between us, even though we both agree that's the best possible outcome.
Then at the end of the summer, due mainly to a bunch of emotional albeit normal shit with our oldest, she finally admitted that she needed to get her shit fixed and we went back to counseling and she's seeing someone on her own. She's actually been doing a shitload of work around the house while also having gone back to work part-time and taking on other responsibilities at kids' school.
She's basically taken forever to confront the fact that she's very depression prone and it's not my job to fix it for her. But I do want to be supportive and help her feel better, and I am too quick to get annoyed with her, which makes things get worse. These days, we aren't anything like happy or comfortable, like when we're alone together there's a constant undercurrent of tension. But it still feels a thousand times better than it did in the spring because 1) we can talk about stuff at least occasionally without a counselor mediating, and 2) our new counselor is a huge upgrade and has been even more ruthless calling her on her shit and forcing us to confront the actual problems, and wife's been able to handle it because new counselor is a woman. At the time of my original poast ITT last May I would have put our odds of divorce within two years at like 80%, and I'd say it's down to something like 50-60% now.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3621989&forum_id=2#34501863) |
Date: May 23rd, 2017 9:03 PM Author: salmon library
Reminder: my wife makes 4-6x's as much money as me on a given year and we split the chores evenly.
I would lose my shit if I was sole breadwinner and my SAHM bitched at me about some inconsequential shit, but then again i wouldn't be foolish enough to have a SAHM for a wife
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3621989&forum_id=2#33380308) |
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