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am i being a dick in this situation

father and i have a distant relationship. he never calls to ...
biryani
  01/12/18
jesus christ. swallow your pride and call your dad you selfi...
'""''""'
  01/12/18
he was a shitty father
biryani
  01/12/18
Irrelevant. Don't be a prick. Unless he was fucking you i...
'""''""'
  01/12/18
You can be the bigger man.
beckersted, abogado.
  01/12/18
i have been, over and over. and i will likely call him today...
biryani
  01/12/18
be the better man
libcrusher180
  01/12/18
get in that will.
MoreDoughHi
  01/12/18
lol no will. i give them money every month.
biryani
  01/12/18
then ghost them. they're your parents not the other way arou...
MoreDoughHi
  01/12/18
...
Dwyane Wade
  01/12/18
You're not being a dick unless it's life threatening. If...
Racist Manhattan Guy
  01/12/18
not life threatening. he's fine.
biryani
  01/12/18
Then no need to call. You're good.
Racist Manhattan Guy
  01/12/18
eh, unless he like abused you you have to call. I'm going...
spaceporn2525
  01/12/18
ljl at family, the guilt, the distance, the alienation, ther...
golf rumors
  01/12/18
everything i do for him, i do because of my mom. it's gonna ...
biryani
  01/12/18
do you have any siblings?
golf rumors
  01/12/18
2 brothers
biryani
  01/12/18
close? what are they like with dad, maybe they can help or y...
golf rumors
  01/12/18
none of us are close with him, but we were all parented diff...
biryani
  01/12/18
you're lucky to have them, just go through the motions like ...
golf rumors
  01/12/18
thanks brother.
biryani
  01/12/18
Your failure as a son is the cause of his false as a father.
^o,o^
  01/12/18
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/20/well/family/debunking-myt...
Wayne Moon
  01/12/18
thank you for that
biryani
  01/12/18
duty is the essence of manhood and it is your duty to call y...
libcrusher180
  01/12/18
...
ggtp
  01/12/18
People who have great dads can't relate to you If you dad...
PrestigeWhore
  01/12/18


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:42 PM
Author: biryani

father and i have a distant relationship. he never calls to see how i'm doing, barely exchange a few words when we're together. hasn't ever shown a big interest in being a good dad, and i carry some residual baggage as a result. however, every time he's sick, my mom will call and update me on the situation and asks me to call him. if i'm 100% honest, i don't really care to call now that i've found out that he's stable and more or less fine (was vomiting from stomach flu, had to get an IV). my wife probably thinks i'm a dick. should i call? i'm annoyed that i get forced to care or fill in when it's convenient for him to have a son

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142310)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:42 PM
Author: '""''""'


jesus christ. swallow your pride and call your dad you selfish fuck.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142315)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:45 PM
Author: biryani

he was a shitty father

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142336)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:47 PM
Author: '""''""'


Irrelevant. Don't be a prick.

Unless he was fucking you in the ass as a child then you have a duty to be there for your parents as they age.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142343)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:51 PM
Author: beckersted, abogado.

You can be the bigger man.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142386)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:52 PM
Author: biryani

i have been, over and over. and i will likely call him today. i'm tired of being the bigger man while he makes no effort to change his behavior to this day. and what's worse is my mom and other family make excuses for him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142392)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 5:13 PM
Author: libcrusher180

be the better man

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142546)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:43 PM
Author: MoreDoughHi

get in that will.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142316)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:45 PM
Author: biryani

lol no will. i give them money every month.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142334)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:46 PM
Author: MoreDoughHi

then ghost them. they're your parents not the other way around.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142341)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 9:51 PM
Author: Dwyane Wade (PlayaJ@gmail.com)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35144247)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:43 PM
Author: Racist Manhattan Guy

You're not being a dick unless it's life threatening.

If it's life threatening, yes.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142317)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:44 PM
Author: biryani

not life threatening. he's fine.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142328)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:47 PM
Author: Racist Manhattan Guy

Then no need to call.

You're good.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142344)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:44 PM
Author: spaceporn2525

eh, unless he like abused you you have to call.

I'm going to see my dad tonight and it can be a tedious task

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142327)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:47 PM
Author: golf rumors

ljl at family, the guilt, the distance, the alienation, there is no solid advice but to grit your teeth and bear it, who knows you might develop the ability to tolerate or even enjoy each other, no real point dwelling on past failures

I can empathise, if anything do it for your mom

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142351)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:51 PM
Author: biryani

everything i do for him, i do because of my mom. it's gonna suck if she passes before him.

i understand not dwelling on past failures but only with family are you expected to neglect past behaviors and pretend like everything is fine indefinitely

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142387)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:53 PM
Author: golf rumors

do you have any siblings?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142400)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:54 PM
Author: biryani

2 brothers

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142410)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:55 PM
Author: golf rumors

close? what are they like with dad, maybe they can help or you can work this out together

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142418)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 5:07 PM
Author: biryani

none of us are close with him, but we were all parented differently. all of us have complained about his failings as a dad. on the surface the older one has a more mature attitude than me and he does the most for him. the younger one is more blase, he'll go through the motions but ultimately doesn't care much for him. i'm the only one that actively questions the damage this relationship caused and continues to cause in my life, and i probably resent him the most. ultimately i hate faking affection when there just isn't much there.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142507)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 5:12 PM
Author: golf rumors

you're lucky to have them, just go through the motions like you said by being there if he's ill (this is really to help your mom out think of it from her pov) holidays etc and just lean on your brothers, you don't have to fake anything, but just support your family with your presence, this is all they really want, calls are easier if you do them more often instead of going nc for months at a time

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142538)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 5:20 PM
Author: biryani

thanks brother.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142605)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:48 PM
Author: ^o,o^

Your failure as a son is the cause of his false as a father.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142363)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 4:56 PM
Author: Wayne Moon

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/20/well/family/debunking-myths-about-estrangement.html

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142424)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 5:07 PM
Author: biryani

thank you for that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142510)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 5:14 PM
Author: libcrusher180

duty is the essence of manhood and it is your duty to call your father you worthless manlet

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35142553)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 9:34 PM
Author: ggtp (ggtp)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35144186)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 10:10 PM
Author: PrestigeWhore (0xe5b500f0f5C09Ed723941758fC22eC8e00c9804C)

People who have great dads can't relate to you

If you dad sucks, then fuck it. he probably doesn't want you to call anyway. You've been forced to handle things on your own, you shouldn't feel guilty at all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857616&forum_id=2#35144320)