\
  The most prestigious law school admissions discussion board in the world.
BackRefresh Options Favorite

Krampusnacht rating poasters as ROAD TRIPS in the USA

...
flickering base
  01/12/18
...
flickering base
  01/20/18
...
violent parlour
  01/12/18
Andrew is a 29 year old litigator who was just fired from hi...
flickering base
  01/12/18
...
violent parlour
  01/12/18
...
Talking address
  01/12/18
...
slimy meetinghouse laser beams
  01/13/18
180
Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground
  01/14/18
...
amethyst rambunctious electric furnace
  01/12/18
Troy is 23 years old and unemployed. He lives on his parents...
flickering base
  01/12/18
:-(
amethyst rambunctious electric furnace
  01/12/18
...
Talking address
  01/12/18
LOL
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/12/18
Scholar
Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground
  01/14/18
...
insanely creepy misunderstood old irish cottage
  01/12/18
David is a freshman at Cornell University, a prestigious fou...
flickering base
  01/12/18
oh god oh
Talking address
  01/12/18
...
insanely creepy misunderstood old irish cottage
  01/12/18
Masterpiece
Canary pit sex offender
  01/12/18
...
diverse chrome gaping
  01/12/18
...
Yellow Boyish Blood Rage Patrolman
  01/13/18
...
dead violent orchestra pit organic girlfriend
  01/13/18
...
violent parlour
  01/14/18
MDH is done here
Floppy School Cafeteria
  01/15/18
he should have taken I-81 instead of US-15. would have avoi...
Racy hairless tanning salon
  01/15/18
...
stubborn lodge potus
  01/12/18
Jake was a good Catholic boy from Des Moines, Iowa. He was r...
flickering base
  01/12/18
180, Jake gonna save SOULS.
Talking address
  01/12/18
From your mouth to God's ears. 180!
stubborn lodge potus
  01/12/18
...
violent parlour
  01/14/18
...
turquoise marvelous cruise ship haunted graveyard
  01/12/18
Stan and Hunter are best friends from Charleston, West Virgi...
flickering base
  01/12/18
Amazing
Canary pit sex offender
  01/12/18
Holy shit
turquoise marvelous cruise ship haunted graveyard
  01/12/18
lol
diverse chrome gaping
  01/12/18
heartwarming
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/12/18
...
Floppy School Cafeteria
  01/15/18
LMAO
stubborn lodge potus
  01/12/18
...
slimy meetinghouse laser beams
  01/13/18
...
dead violent orchestra pit organic girlfriend
  01/13/18
poast of the year, I'm calling it
sickened insane private investor mood
  01/13/18
incredible
violent parlour
  01/14/18
My vote for best of the thread
Canary pit sex offender
  01/25/18
...
Talking address
  01/12/18
Silas and Wyatt are two high school friends from Lockport, N...
flickering base
  01/12/18
Poor Hailey.
Talking address
  01/12/18
Chet Arthur really did it up bigly
diverse chrome gaping
  01/12/18
Silent Cal's gravestone is exactly as it should be
Floppy School Cafeteria
  01/15/18
I’m paranoid
House-broken sadistic queen of the night
  01/12/18
Aiden, Sarah, and Liam are three journalists who are on a ro...
flickering base
  01/12/18
...
Plum Overrated Theatre Toaster
  01/13/18
Reads like a fucklibs bar exam hypo
Canary pit sex offender
  01/13/18
180
Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground
  01/14/18
...
Maniacal Nudist New Version
  01/12/18
Bubba Butch and Biloxi Pete are two truckers in their 50's w...
flickering base
  01/12/18
This is art.
Talking address
  01/12/18
Operating at a high, high level here
Canary pit sex offender
  01/13/18
I've been to Sheetz.
Maniacal Nudist New Version
  01/13/18
whoa
razzle bisexual prole station
  01/13/18
...
dead violent orchestra pit organic girlfriend
  01/13/18
...
violent parlour
  01/14/18
Holy shit. 180 art
Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground
  01/15/18
...
shimmering sinister skinny woman police squad
  01/12/18
Josh, Ryan, and Eric were depressed corporate lawyers living...
flickering base
  01/13/18
*wakes up in cold sweat*
razzle bisexual prole station
  01/13/18
This is one of the better threads I've read in a long time.
Canary pit sex offender
  01/13/18
...
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/13/18
Solid but weak finish
Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground
  01/15/18
...
brilliant ceo
  01/12/18
Ebeneezer is a young lawyer working in Washington DC as a cl...
flickering base
  01/13/18
Was the farm girl at least attractive?
razzle bisexual prole station
  01/13/18
cheerful blonde CGWBT, but her face was kind of masculine
flickering base
  01/13/18
approved
razzle bisexual prole station
  01/13/18
I assume the German farmer's daughter was CGWBT
Canary pit sex offender
  01/13/18
see above
flickering base
  01/13/18
Nice. So he wasn't a Copperhead supporter of Gov. Morton the...
Curious low-t pozpig church
  01/15/18
As implied by his support of JQ Adams, he went Whig -> Re...
flickering base
  01/15/18
...
Cerebral area idea he suggested
  01/12/18
Aaron was a 40-something year old insurance company Vice Pre...
flickering base
  01/13/18
:(
Canary pit sex offender
  01/13/18
1800000
razzle bisexual prole station
  01/13/18
Did you ever watch Escape to Witch Mountain on Disney growin...
Talking address
  01/13/18
No, why do you ask
flickering base
  01/13/18
Oh fuck, I just read the plot summary
flickering base
  01/13/18
wtf
Cerebral area idea he suggested
  01/14/18
...
Canary pit sex offender
  01/12/18
From the moment he was born on the planet I'Gartha, young Ad...
flickering base
  01/13/18
"'The client will not pay for a warning shot. We are on...
Talking address
  01/13/18
Dilly dilly
Canary pit sex offender
  01/14/18
...
laughsome navy business firm
  01/14/18
...
razzle bisexual prole station
  01/12/18
Danny Dooberstein of Bloomington, Indiana had settled into h...
flickering base
  01/13/18
so thats how it started
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/13/18
180!
razzle bisexual prole station
  01/14/18
...
violent parlour
  01/14/18
...
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/12/18
Bill and Dennis were seniors at the University of Georgia wh...
flickering base
  01/13/18
oh my god, devastating
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/13/18
This needs a lot more love
diverse chrome gaping
  01/13/18
...
flickering base
  01/13/18
...
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/13/18
...
Yellow Boyish Blood Rage Patrolman
  01/14/18
holy shit
primrose slap-happy puppy
  01/14/18
...
laughsome navy business firm
  01/14/18
...
violent parlour
  01/14/18
this would be a t3 Tales from the Crypt Episode
Floppy School Cafeteria
  01/15/18
...
Glittery fighting forum windowlicker
  03/31/18
...
hateful step-uncle's house
  03/31/18
...
cerise property roommate
  01/12/18
Ever since Zach bought a 1958 Corvette from a museum and out...
flickering base
  01/13/18
Very 180, but the first paramedic units weren't created unti...
Talking address
  01/13/18
yeah, let's just say that
flickering base
  01/13/18
...
Amber magical center
  01/13/18
180 as fuck, but the 1994-95 Super Bowl was XXIX, not XXXIX.
Spectacular institution mental disorder
  01/13/18
Ty for the bump
flickering base
  01/13/18
So much 180
Canary pit sex offender
  01/14/18
...
razzle-dazzle pungent antidepressant drug
  01/12/18
Stefan and Werner are anthropologists at Johns Hopkins Unive...
flickering base
  01/14/18
"Do the WUSTL: Transitions and Transformations in Middl...
Talking address
  01/14/18
...
flickering base
  01/14/18
...
Claret bossy macaca chapel
  01/14/18
...
Olive native
  01/13/18
Congressman Smith had been representing Staten Island in the...
flickering base
  01/14/18
...
Talking address
  01/14/18
180
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/14/18
...
laughsome navy business firm
  01/14/18
Ho Lee Fuk
Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground
  01/14/18
180
Olive native
  01/19/18
...
Glittery fighting forum windowlicker
  03/31/18
...
ungodly indigo home selfie
  01/13/18
Sarah, Patricia, and Holly are 29 year old women working in ...
flickering base
  01/14/18
...
Talking address
  01/14/18
180
ungodly indigo home selfie
  01/15/18
They need to get shot glasses in Front Royal
Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground
  01/15/18
...
hateful step-uncle's house
  03/31/18
...
Saffron multi-colored location round eye
  01/13/18
As Jacob drove in the direction of Ithaca, NY, he thought ab...
flickering base
  01/14/18
This is a toxic Sunday on XO, sheesh.
Talking address
  01/14/18
...
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/15/18
...
Glittery fighting forum windowlicker
  03/31/18
...
dead violent orchestra pit organic girlfriend
  01/13/18
Sam left Los Angeles at 8 PM and took I-5 north. Past Bakers...
flickering base
  01/14/18
...
Talking address
  01/14/18
...
dead violent orchestra pit organic girlfriend
  01/14/18
...
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/15/18
...
Abnormal khaki wagecucks rehab
  01/13/18
great thread
Claret bossy macaca chapel
  01/13/18
incredible 180 thread
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/13/18
haven't even made it past 4 of OP's poasts and wholly shit, ...
Abnormal khaki wagecucks rehab
  01/14/18
All of them are better than any other poast on the board thi...
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/14/18
cr
Abnormal khaki wagecucks rehab
  01/14/18
...
stubborn lodge potus
  01/14/18
Krampusnacht is my daddy
Erotic titillating ratface
  01/14/18
...
Talking address
  01/14/18
...
primrose slap-happy puppy
  01/14/18
...
violent parlour
  01/14/18
Usually these threads begin petering out after 4-5 posts but...
Floppy School Cafeteria
  01/15/18
cr lots of TuTuthreading ITT
emerald casino
  01/14/18
this is scholarship
Pontificating beady-eyed temple mad-dog skullcap
  01/14/18
...
Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground
  01/14/18
best thread in years
primrose slap-happy puppy
  01/14/18
...
federal range son of senegal
  01/14/18
you're an insanely talented poaster
mauve marketing idea background story
  01/14/18
crazy how this thread gets tons of bumps from day crew but N...
flickering base
  01/14/18
settle down
Purple bearded site digit ratio
  01/14/18
It’s funny how pissed off he gets when we don’t give him att...
sienna filthy abode
  01/14/18
I poasted this last night: http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php...
Abnormal khaki wagecucks rehab
  01/14/18
tyft
flickering base
  01/14/18
...
dark theater stage
  01/14/18
RSF matches with a Tinder 9 from Miami while hanging out in ...
flickering base
  01/14/18
...
Talking address
  01/14/18
...
violent parlour
  01/14/18
Holy fucking shit
Canary pit sex offender
  01/14/18
...
flickering base
  01/14/18
...
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/15/18
Lmfao
Erotic titillating ratface
  01/15/18
180
Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground
  01/15/18
...
Claret bossy macaca chapel
  01/19/18
...
submissive faggot firefighter
  01/14/18
JJC is diagnosed with a terminal illness, and his friends de...
flickering base
  01/14/18
...
Talking address
  01/14/18
...
Canary pit sex offender
  01/14/18
181
violent parlour
  01/14/18
...
Purple bearded site digit ratio
  01/15/18
lmao
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/15/18
I assume the house is in new jersey
Erotic titillating ratface
  01/15/18
lmao holy shit
sickened insane private investor mood
  01/15/18
did you watch Synecdoche, New York last night or something? ...
walnut garrison voyeur
  01/15/18
lmao 180
fantasy-prone kitchen mad cow disease
  01/19/18
...
Claret bossy macaca chapel
  01/19/18
...
Glittery fighting forum windowlicker
  03/31/18
...
demanding giraffe
  01/14/18
Joey is a young Italian-American man living in the crime-rid...
flickering base
  01/15/18
...
Talking address
  01/15/18
...
violent parlour
  01/16/18
somebody archive this shit
Misanthropic aphrodisiac quadroon nowag
  01/15/18
...
walnut garrison voyeur
  01/15/18
...
Supple Jade Heaven Foreskin
  01/15/18
Jerrod left his parents house in rural Mecklenburg County, V...
flickering base
  01/19/18
...
Talking address
  01/19/18
...
violent parlour
  01/19/18
...
Claret bossy macaca chapel
  01/19/18
180
Supple Jade Heaven Foreskin
  01/19/18
...
violent parlour
  01/16/18
Gaspar told the folks at his Jersey City accounting office t...
flickering base
  01/19/18
What in the fuck.
Talking address
  01/19/18
...
violent parlour
  01/19/18
holy shit
razzle bisexual prole station
  01/20/18
...
diverse chrome gaping
  01/17/18
Zac was driving from his parents house in Brookline, Massach...
flickering base
  01/19/18
...hm.
Talking address
  01/19/18
...
Floppy School Cafeteria
  01/19/18
...
violent parlour
  01/19/18
...
Claret bossy macaca chapel
  01/19/18
these are getting 180
razzle bisexual prole station
  01/20/18
...
Glittery fighting forum windowlicker
  03/31/18
...
violent parlour
  01/19/18
...
flickering base
  01/19/18
...
Soggy Gay Den
  01/19/18
Toby was a 12 year old boy who loved space. One day, his par...
flickering base
  01/19/18
180
Soggy Gay Den
  01/19/18
180
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/19/18
...
sickened insane private investor mood
  01/20/18
180
razzle bisexual prole station
  01/20/18
...
anal free-loading mother
  01/20/18
Ted was a mid-career compliance professional living in New Y...
flickering base
  01/20/18
...
razzle bisexual prole station
  01/20/18
...
Talking address
  01/20/18
...
Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting
  01/20/18
reading this thread again, this one's my favorite
flickering base
  03/31/18
...
Glittery fighting forum windowlicker
  03/31/18
Tommy was a 22 year old with Aspergers Syndrome. He had just...
flickering base
  01/20/18
...
Talking address
  01/20/18
(posts a rating in a rating thread without having anybody to...
sickened insane private investor mood
  01/20/18
in time the critics will come to see it as a refreshing brea...
flickering base
  01/20/18
stfu faggot
Racy hairless tanning salon
  01/25/18
...
Canary pit sex offender
  01/25/18
...
Claret bossy macaca chapel
  02/05/18
...
Comical locus
  02/05/18
...
flickering base
  02/18/18
...
flickering base
  03/31/18
...
Sooty blathering parlor elastic band
  03/31/18
...
Glittery fighting forum windowlicker
  03/31/18
...
Umber charismatic church building fanboi
  03/31/18
...
hateful step-uncle's house
  04/01/18
...
flickering base
  11/01/18
lmao remember when I wasn't an SPS poaster
flickering base
  02/28/19
...
startling trailer park
  03/24/19
...
flickering base
  04/12/20
...
Blue Dopamine Ladyboy
  04/12/20


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 7:04 PM
Author: flickering base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143306)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 20th, 2018 9:29 PM
Author: flickering base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35199824)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 7:04 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143311)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 7:12 PM
Author: flickering base

Andrew is a 29 year old litigator who was just fired from his BIGLAW firm in San Francisco. He decides to go to Reno for an evening and get fucked up at a hotel.

Things go well for him, until he wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache and a terrible hangover. He decides to rethink his life. And he'll do it while driving on the "loneliest road in the world" - Route 50. Route 50 connects Reno to Nevada, passing through absolutely nothing but desert.

https://i2.wp.com/unusualplaces.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/US_Highway_50_westbound_West_of_Eureka_NV.jpg

The signs on the road acknowledge it

https://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/02/4d/89/13/loneliest-highway-in.jpg

Andrew drives for hours through endless desert scenery thinking about all the ways in which his life has gone wrong.

After 12 hours of driving, he arrives in the small down of Delta, Utah. There, he parks on the side of the road and falls asleep.

In the morning, a little boy knocks on the car window and wakes Andrew up. "Do you know about Jesus Christ?", the boy asks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143364)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 7:32 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143481)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:07 PM
Author: Talking address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143741)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 11:41 AM
Author: slimy meetinghouse laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35147071)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 10:55 AM
Author: Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152552)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 7:04 PM
Author: amethyst rambunctious electric furnace



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143312)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 7:26 PM
Author: flickering base

Troy is 23 years old and unemployed. He lives on his parents farm in rural Sheridan County, Nebraska, population 5,000. That's 5,000 people in the entire county. His parents make him do farm work, but he's sick of it. His childhood best friend, Steve, also 23 and underemployed, is likewise tired of life in the country.

On the internet, Troy has met Harper, an attractive 21 year old who lives 133 miles north in the city of Hot Springs, South Dakota. That's a city of 3,000 people, bigger than any city in Sheridan County. Troy decides he is going to go up and visit Harper. When he tells Steve, Steve begs him to let him go along so he can get out of fucking Sheridan County.

The ride goes smoothly, and the GPS routes them through the Pine Ridge Reservation in southern South Dakota. Neither Steve nor Troy has ever been to an Indian reservation. Steve starts to get really excited. "I hear Indians do a lot of drugs," Steve says. "I bet they have some good shit!"

https://www.indianz.com/News/2017/06/06/pineridgereservation.jpg

As they enter the reservation, Steve is itching to get out and try to buy some drugs from some Indians. Troy tells him that he doesn't want to mess around, he needs to meet this girl and maybe move to South Dakota to get away from his parents.

There's not much on the reservation. Mostly shabby looking manufactured homes

https://energy.gov/sites/prod/files/styles/borealis_article_hero_respondxl/public/pineridgehousing.jpg?itok=2jb4c_in

A few dilapidated churches

http://static.panoramio.com/photos/large/82520380.jpg

Finally, they need to pull over for something. Steve runs out, and runs up to a nearby house

https://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/capjournal.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/1/10/110150a8-a75c-11e5-b5fb-e7a181a8d1b4/56771626936bc.image.jpg

A few minutes later, Steve returns to the car. "Man, those Indians didn't have any drugs," Steve says in a disappointed tone.

A few minutes later, they are back on the road. But not for long. A tribal law enforcement officer pulls them over and arrests them on suspicion of drug trafficking. Steve had apparently offered that random Sioux family some drugs in exchange for whatever kind of nonexistent Indian super-drugs that idiot Steve wanted to get. Instead of meeting up with a girl in Hot Springs, Troy is now calling his mom to bail him out of Indian reservation jail.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143440)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 7:36 PM
Author: amethyst rambunctious electric furnace

:-(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143512)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:06 PM
Author: Talking address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143739)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 9:13 PM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting

LOL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35144105)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 11:29 AM
Author: Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground

Scholar

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152725)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 7:15 PM
Author: insanely creepy misunderstood old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143381)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 7:40 PM
Author: flickering base

David is a freshman at Cornell University, a prestigious four year degree granting institution in Ithaca, New York. It's spring break, and David is driving back home to Fairfax, Virginia to spend time with his family.

The trip involves a lot of back roads in Pennsylvania. He passes through Williamsport, PA - the home of the Little League World Series. He stops to take a look at the stadium where the Little League World Series is played.

http://www.frontiernet.net/~rochballparks3/littleleague/03ll_fromhilltop.jpg

David sighs. He played Little League growing up. But he wasn't good enough to make the Little League World Series. He wasn't even good enough to play baseball at Cornell. Having a son that was good at baseball was one of his dad's dreams for him. He practiced hard, he took extra classes from hitting coaches, but he could never live up to his dad's dream of having a baseball star son.

Feeling like a failure, David drove on. His next stop was the Pennsylvania State Capitol in Harrisburg, PA

http://gravesdesigngroup.com/images/gallery/large/cap2.jpg

He took a tour of the inside of the building, and was inspired

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2f/Rotunda_of_Pennsylvania_State_Capitol_Building.jpg

He sped home from Harrisburg. He blew past York, PA, he blew past Gettysburg, he blew down I-70 past Frederick, MD, he got on the Beltway, by now it was dark and the lights of Tysons Corner were bright in his eyes. He sped to his parents house and got a warm welcome from his parents, proud to have a son who was attending the Ivy League.

"Mom, Dad, I've been thinking," David said. "I think I am changing my major. I don't want to major in Biology and go to med school. I'm sick of following your dreams. I want to follow my dreams. I'm going to major in Political Science and go to law school, so I can go into politics and make a difference."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143558)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:07 PM
Author: Talking address

oh god oh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143749)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:28 PM
Author: insanely creepy misunderstood old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143873)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:38 PM
Author: Canary pit sex offender

Masterpiece

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143926)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:48 PM
Author: diverse chrome gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143965)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 12:16 PM
Author: Yellow Boyish Blood Rage Patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35147205)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:25 PM
Author: dead violent orchestra pit organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148704)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:18 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156240)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 10:49 AM
Author: Floppy School Cafeteria

MDH is done here

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159742)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 11:06 AM
Author: Racy hairless tanning salon

he should have taken I-81 instead of US-15. would have avoided all that and gotten home faster.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159818)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 7:26 PM
Author: stubborn lodge potus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143444)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: flickering base

Jake was a good Catholic boy from Des Moines, Iowa. He was raised to go to church every Sunday and to give his allowance to the collections box so that kids less lucky than him could have food or clothing.

But as Jake grew up, he drifted from his childhood faith. He attended a prestigious Big 10 school in Evanston, IL and got a job as a journalist in the big city, Chicago. He wasn't making any money at his struggling media outlet, but at least he was living it up in River North.

One November, Jake decided to drive home for Thanksgiving, for the first time in years. He would take I-80 home. In Illinois, I-80 was a pretty boring road. It just cut through rows and rows of corn fields.

http://www.interstate80.info/i80w_ill_exit127.jpg

But once he crossed the border into Iowa, the real I-80 began. The stretch with all the truck stops.

http://roadsidewonders.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Iowa80_1.jpg

Jake really needed go to to the restroom, so he pulled over at a truck stop. It was a seedy place. Dozens of trucks were pulled over. Girls were running up to each truck - he knew these were prostitutes

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/3XDt55CxkXY/hqdefault.jpg

some of them were haggered and old. Some were young - one looked underaged. Big, rough-looking truckers with long beards were evaluating them, fondling them, going into the back of the truck with them.

Jake shivered. He went inside the truck stop. On his way out of the bathroom, he decided to stop in the truck stop gift shop

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MkPdSykj1as/UretVgJcGYI/AAAAAAAAAIQ/xOYfku_VR4g/s1600/IMG_4865.JPG

As he was looking at a magnet, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around, and there was a man he had never seen before. But...somehow he felt familiar.

"Jake, God wants you to help these people."

"How do you know my name?"

"Jake, when you get back from your parents house, use your money to build a church along I-80. God wants you to bring the Gospel to the people of this sinful road. You will save them."

"What? I don't have any money," Jake protested. "I'm a broke journalist."

The man smiled and walked away. Suddenly, Jake realized that the man bore a strong resemblance to a portrait of St. Christopher that his father had in his car for many years.

Shrugging it off, Jake walked past the lot lizards back to his car. He drove the remaining hour or two to Des Moines, and joined his parents. But his parents weren't alone. They had a man with them: the family attorney.

"Jake, remember your Great Uncle Harold?", the attorney said. "He passed away last week. It turns out that he made millions of dollars investing in real estate. And he left you as his sole heir."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143697)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:53 PM
Author: Talking address

180, Jake gonna save SOULS.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143985)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 10:24 PM
Author: stubborn lodge potus

From your mouth to God's ears. 180!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35144378)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:19 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156244)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: turquoise marvelous cruise ship haunted graveyard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143698)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:13 PM
Author: flickering base

Stan and Hunter are best friends from Charleston, West Virginia. Even though neither Stan nor Hunter ever went to college, they are huge fans of the West Virginia Mountaineers college football team. They decide they are going to drive up to Morgantown, WV to see a game.

En route to Morgantown, they decide to stop at a popular tourist attraction, the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum. It's a creepy, abandoned insane asylum.

https://media.mnn.com/assets/images/2012/10/asy_main.jpg.560x0_q80_crop-smart.jpg

They decide to take a nighttime "ghost tour" of the place. It's supposed to be super haunted.

The interior is creepy as fuck:

http://criswellphotography.com/wp-content/gallery/things-that-move-us/2-2016-NO-Smoking.jpg

http://www.shapingbeauty.net/images/shapingbeauty/17856/00-childrens-insane-unit.jpg

Suddenly, during the tour, a loud, crashing noise comes from the next room over. Even the tour guide is afraid for a few seconds. Turns out, it's nothing: a rotten plank of wood had fallen from the ceiling. Nobody was harmed. But it's too late for Stan, who has peed his pants.

"Damnit, I pissed myself!", Stan yells. Everyone on the tour group, including Hunter, laughs. "Damnit, this isn't funny!", Stan replies. "I peed my pants like a little kid!"

Stan and Hunter go back to the car. They get some paper towels from their tailgate supply and cover the front passenger seat with it, so Stan and his pee pants can sit there without damaging the upholstery. When they get to Morgantown, they buy him some new pants from a 24 hour Wal-Mart.

The next morning, they wake up in their Morgantown motel room. Hunter asks Stan if he's ready for a day of tailgating. "Nah," Stan says. "I've got some things to think about. Go ahead and tailgate without me, I'll meet you at the game."

Hunter spends the day partying with other Mountaineer fans in the parking lot. Evening comes, and they go into the stadium for the game. Shortly before kickoff, Stan finally arrives. He looks happy, happier than Hunter has seen him in years.

By the 4th quarter, Hunter has had to use the bathroom twice. Stan hasn't left his seat. "Hey why haven't you gotten up at all," Hunter asks Stan. "Are you afraid to pee after last night?"

"I'm no longer afraid to pee," Stan says with smile. "I'm no longer afraid of anything. I wear a diaper now."



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143791)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:36 PM
Author: Canary pit sex offender

Amazing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143911)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:41 PM
Author: turquoise marvelous cruise ship haunted graveyard

Holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143937)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:52 PM
Author: diverse chrome gaping

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143979)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 9:19 PM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting

heartwarming

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35144129)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 10:51 AM
Author: Floppy School Cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159748)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 10:26 PM
Author: stubborn lodge potus

LMAO

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35144385)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 11:47 AM
Author: slimy meetinghouse laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35147100)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:25 PM
Author: dead violent orchestra pit organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148697)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 8:12 PM
Author: sickened insane private investor mood

poast of the year, I'm calling it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35149879)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:19 PM
Author: violent parlour

incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156250)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 25th, 2018 10:25 AM
Author: Canary pit sex offender

My vote for best of the thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35233618)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Talking address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143699)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:27 PM
Author: flickering base

Silas and Wyatt are two high school friends from Lockport, NY. They're both big nerds and really into US history. The summer before they go off to college, they decide to take a roadtrip to see as many presidential graves as they can.

Coming along with them on this roadtrip is Hailey, a nerdy girl who was in their high school class. She insisted - she is also very interested in seeing graves of US presidents. Hailey is homely and wears thick glasses, but the two boys have both had a crush on her for years.

They first visit the grave of Millard Fillmore in Buffalo, NY

https://i.pinimg.com/474x/a7/a3/55/a7a355a6a0a1c5202132e5ae539629c7--us-presidents-american-presidents.jpg

Then they visit the grave of Chester A. Arthur near Albany

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5d/The_Peace_Hat_and_President_Chester_Arthur%2C_1829_-_1886_%283435827496%29.jpg

Also near Albany they visit the grave of Martin Van Buren in Kinderhook, NY

https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/president-martin-van-buren-gravesite-kinderhook-ny-burial-site-54770273.jpg

Up next: Franklin Pierce in Concord, NH

http://www.presidentsusa.net/piercegravesite3.jpg

Then, an arduous journey into the wilds of rural Vermont, where they see the grave of Calvin Coolidge

http://www.presidentsusa.net/coolidgegravesite3.jpg

The entire time, the three of them debate about US history. Who was the best Secretary of State? Was the Spanish-American War justified? Who was the most underrated founding father?

Hailey has been flirting with both boys, but to no effect. As they go through Vermont and New Hampshire, she gets really aggressive, but again, they never reply.

Finally, in Vermont, she decides to do something that will surely get their attention. He sits down and starts sobbing. Surely, one of those boys will come and try to cheer her up, and that will be her in. But after she cries for 5 straight minutes, nothing happens. She looks up, and through her teary eyes she sees Wyatt and Silas. They are holding hands with each other and laughing at her.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143866)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:42 PM
Author: Talking address

Poor Hailey.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143941)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:55 PM
Author: diverse chrome gaping

Chet Arthur really did it up bigly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143993)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 10:52 AM
Author: Floppy School Cafeteria

Silent Cal's gravestone is exactly as it should be

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159752)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:03 PM
Author: House-broken sadistic queen of the night

I’m paranoid

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143711)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 9:41 PM
Author: flickering base

Aiden, Sarah, and Liam are three journalists who are on a roadtrip. Their goal: see The Last Jedi in every county that voted for Hillary Clinton and then write a magazine article about all the empowered women they meet on their trip.

Except, Aiden is not truly a lib. He is a writer for Tucker Carlson, on a deep cover mission to infiltrate libs and show how insane they are.

Today they are seeing TJL in Lake County, Indiana - aka where Gary, Indiana is, the bluest part of Indiana. Aiden is near his breaking point. He can't stand to see THAT scene again...you know the one. Finally, he can't take it anymore. At a diner where they are working on their article, Aiden excuses himself from the group, runs into a restroom, and screams "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!" He shouts it 20 times.

He comes out and Sarah and Liam are glaring at him.

"Is something wrong?", Aiden asks.

Sarah and Liam keep glaring. Liam crosses his arms. Sarah reaches for a knife.

"Ok look," Aiden says. "Admiral Holdo spends the entire movie whitesplaining to Poe, a person of color. This is not okay."

Liam smiles. "I'm glad somebody else noticed that. It's really problematic."

"What the hell??", Sarah shouts. "Admiral Holdo is a highly qualified and experienced woman. She does not need to be lectured by a mediocre man"

Sarah and Liam turn on each other. In the ruckus, Aiden escapes and heads back to FOX News HQ.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35144200)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 9:00 AM
Author: Plum Overrated Theatre Toaster



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35146371)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 11:44 AM
Author: Canary pit sex offender

Reads like a fucklibs bar exam hypo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35147084)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 10:56 AM
Author: Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152559)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:03 PM
Author: Maniacal Nudist New Version



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143714)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 9:57 PM
Author: flickering base

Bubba Butch and Biloxi Pete are two truckers in their 50's who are good friends and part of the same trucking convoy. It is Biloxi Pete's last run before he retires. Bubba Butch still has a few more years left on the road, and besides he has nothing to retire to, with his wife of many years having recently died.

The two are making good time through Pennsylvania when they stop at a Sheetz to take a break. Bubba and Pete go into the Sheetz and find it abandoned. Only a single employee is beyond the counter.

As Bubba walks towards the bathroom, the lone worker warns him - "don't go in that bathroom. He's in there. The feller with the beady eyes."

Bubba laughs. "If the feller with the beady eyes is in there, why isn't there a huge line!"

"He's changed," said the store clerk. "He's what not what used to be - too hungry now. He's changed. You don't want to go in there."

Pete now moves up to the counter. "I ain't afraid of no feller with the beady eyes. If he's hungry, then I'm cooking!"

Pete barges past the employee, goes into the bathroom. From outside, everyone can hear the sound of Pete unzipping his pants.

"Oh look at you there lil feller," they hear Pete say. "Look at your hungry little eyes, hungry for MY CUM!"

A few seconds later, they hear Pete again - "oh yeah, that's a hungry hole you have. A hungry hole!"

A minute passes, maybe two. They hear Pete panting and moaning.

"Enough!" - they hear Pete yell - "I've given you enough! No! No!!"

Then silence. Bubba and the clerk look at each other. The clerk gives him a deranged smile.

A few seconds later, the feller with the beady eyes runs out of the bathroom, stark naked. He looks Bubba right in the face, hisses, scratches the floor, and runs away towards the highway.

Bubba runs to the bathroom to check on Pete.

"Oh, you won't find your friend in there. He's in the hole now. I told you the hole was hungry!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35144272)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 10:11 PM
Author: Talking address

This is art.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35144327)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 11:46 AM
Author: Canary pit sex offender

Operating at a high, high level here

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35147093)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Maniacal Nudist New Version

I've been to Sheetz.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35147126)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 12:55 PM
Author: razzle bisexual prole station

whoa

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35147395)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:28 PM
Author: dead violent orchestra pit organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148726)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:21 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156265)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 10:58 AM
Author: Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground

Holy shit. 180 art

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159779)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:07 PM
Author: shimmering sinister skinny woman police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143743)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 3:46 PM
Author: flickering base

Josh, Ryan, and Eric were depressed corporate lawyers living in Manhattan. When they got home from long days at the law firm, they watched YouTube videos of frat boys from SEC schools and longed for the simpler existence of a southern frat row.

They decided to plan a roadtrip to Alabama to hang out with frat boys and live their dreams. They all took the same week off, got into a car, and began driving south.

They took I-78 out of Manhattan through New Jersey and Pennsylvania, ignoring signs for destinations like Allentown or Harrisburg. They then took I-81 through the Shenandoah Valley, through Martinsburg, WV and Winchester, VA, before stopping for the night in Lexington, VA. Josh wanted to spend the next morning in Lexington, VA hanging out with Washington and Lee frat boys, but the others insisted that they needed to go straight to Alabama.

They took I-81 through Roanoke and Bristol. They were in the Great Smokey Mountains now. Knoxville, TN - home of the University of Tennessee - was just off the road. Josh again wanted to stop there. The others said that, no Tennessee was not a real SEC school anymore. They needed to go to Alabama.

They left the mountains, passed through Chattanooga, and finally entered the state of Alabama. A few hours after crossing the state line, they arrived at their destination: Tuscaloosa.

It was now 11:00 PM at night. They went straight to frat row, expecting it to be a LIT scene with wild parties and hot college chicks. They were surprised to see it almost completely deserted.

"Oh yeah, it's July," said Eric. "School's not in session in July. They probably don't have too many frat parties during the summer."

Ryan laughed at the situation. Josh started hyperventilating and left the car. He staggered down an empty frat row, disappearing into the night. His wheezing became fainter and fainter, until the other two guys could no longer hear it. They never did see him again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148414)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 3:51 PM
Author: razzle bisexual prole station

*wakes up in cold sweat*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148463)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:05 PM
Author: Canary pit sex offender

This is one of the better threads I've read in a long time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148542)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35149724)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 11:02 AM
Author: Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground

Solid but weak finish

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159805)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:28 PM
Author: brilliant ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143871)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:09 PM
Author: flickering base

Ebeneezer is a young lawyer working in Washington DC as a clerk to the Attorney General. When President Andrew Jackson takes over from President John Quincy Adams in the spring of 1829, Ebeneezer is immediately fired from his job along with all other Adams loyalists.

Ebeneezer decides to sell his rowhouse in Georgetown and move to the west. First, he hitches a ride on the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal. In Georgetown, he boards a mule-driven flat boat. Several days later, after passing through dozens of locks, he arrives at the canal's terminus, the city of Cumberland, Maryland. Cumberland is a bustling place, where miners load coal and ore onto big canal boats that are floated towards Washington DC. It's too big for him: he decides to move further west. Ebeneezer boards a wagon that is heading west on the National Road.

The wagon takes him to Wheeling, Virginia - a bustling transportation hub on the Ohio River. But Wheeling is already a well-developed town, and Ebeneezer wants to be a real pioneer. Staying just long enough in Wheeling to see a play, he boards another wagon west.

Next up, Ebeneezer stops in Zanesville, Ohio - a city that has been well established for over 20 years. It's too big for him. So is Columbus, the next stop. Ebeneezer keeps riding the National Road until he reaches the relatively new state of Indiana.

Finally, he gets dropped off in Terre Haute, Indiana. It is a city of just under 1,000 people which is still in the process of filing with the state government to be incorporated. This is a place that might need a country lawyer, Ebeneezer thinks. He decides to stay in Terre Haute. He opens a law office and eventually becomes a successful attorney on Terre Haute's main street, successfully bringing cases for local residents and small business owners. He marries the daughter of a German farmer who owns large tracts of land outside the city. He also involves himself in town politics and becomes something of a founding father in Terre Haute.

By the late 1850's, the 50-something year old Ebeneezer is elected to serve three terms in the Indiana state legislature. He dies in 1864 as a wealthy 64 year old man with six children: shortly before his passing, he learns that his eldest son has been promoted to the rank of Colonel in the Union Army.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148576)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:13 PM
Author: razzle bisexual prole station

Was the farm girl at least attractive?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148602)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:14 PM
Author: flickering base

cheerful blonde CGWBT, but her face was kind of masculine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148608)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:15 PM
Author: razzle bisexual prole station

approved

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148620)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:15 PM
Author: Canary pit sex offender

I assume the German farmer's daughter was CGWBT

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148614)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:16 PM
Author: flickering base

see above

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148627)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 12:46 PM
Author: Curious low-t pozpig church

Nice. So he wasn't a Copperhead supporter of Gov. Morton then?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35160496)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 1:30 PM
Author: flickering base

As implied by his support of JQ Adams, he went Whig -> Republican

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35160821)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:28 PM
Author: Cerebral area idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143874)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:24 PM
Author: flickering base

Aaron was a 40-something year old insurance company Vice President living in Boston, MA. His wife of many years was a physics professor at MIT and did a lot of work for defense contractors. Try as they might, Aaron and his wife could not conceive any children. Then, when she was 42 years old, Aaron's wife became pregnant. A little girl was born to the surprised couple, whom they named Helen.

Helen proved to be an unusually bright girl, the highest performer in her preschool and first grade classes. She did have a weird quirk: she loved to sit on her iPad all day and look at Google Maps. And she would always look at New Hampshire. Some days, she would stare at maps of New Hampshire for hours.

Aaron and his wife divorced when Helen was about 9 years old. Aaron didn't have much custody of little Helen, but had her for about a month every summer. During this time, he tried to spoil her and let her do all the things her mother wouldn't let her do.

"Daddy, I need to go to New Hampshire", Helen said one day. "Mount Washington. I need to go to Mount Washington."

Wanting to give the girl a treat, Aaron agreed to take his daughter to New Hampshire. They got into a car and drove all day until they got to the base of Mount Washington, the tallest mountain in New Hampshire.

"We need to wait until night, Daddy. I need to climb Mount Washington at night."

Aaron shrugged and agreed. They waited in their car until nightfall, then started climbing up Mount Washington. He was surprised at how well Helen could climb: until now, she had not shown a lot of athletic ability.

Suddenly, Aaron saw flashing lights in the sky. They got closer and closer, until he realized he was seeing a flying saucer - a real life alien spaceship. Helen stood in the center of a clearing on the mountain, and a beam of light from the UFO shined onto her.

"Daddy - thank you for everything. I'm going home now."

With that, Helen disappeared into the UFO, which quickly flew away. Aaron stood there all alone, wondering how he was going to explain this to the police.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148684)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:26 PM
Author: Canary pit sex offender

:(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148714)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:28 PM
Author: razzle bisexual prole station

1800000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148727)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:42 PM
Author: Talking address

Did you ever watch Escape to Witch Mountain on Disney growing up, by any chance?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148810)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:54 PM
Author: flickering base

No, why do you ask

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148868)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:56 PM
Author: flickering base

Oh fuck, I just read the plot summary

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148878)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 2:16 PM
Author: Cerebral area idea he suggested

wtf



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35154006)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 8:39 PM
Author: Canary pit sex offender



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35143928)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:54 PM
Author: flickering base

From the moment he was born on the planet I'Gartha, young Adan Wardav was groomed for service in the Galactic Confederation's Legal Corps. At the age of 16, he was taken from his family and sent to the Galactic Legal Academy on Hydrae Prime. He astounded his professors by completing the Legal Challenges in just two years. As with all graduates, he was stripped of his human first and last name and granted the prestige of being known only by an alphanumeric designation: Law Unit 3137, or LU-3137 as he would henceforth be known.

LU-3137 was assigned to work on appellate mining law in the Sextantis Sector. When a large interstellar mining conglomerate needed to argue a case in front of the Sextantis Court of Appeals, LU-3137 conducted legal research to assist his superiors in drafting briefs and motions. Soon, his legal uniform had many medals from research well done.

At the start of his 7th year in the Sextantis Sector, LU-3137 was summoned to his commanding legal officer's meditation center. There, his boss, LU-2999, was suspended in a hyperbaric chamber, his thoughts focused on the glory of the law. A computer connected to LU-2999's mind communicated with LU-3137.

"LU-3137 - we have a special matter for you. A client has purchased property on the planet Earth, the original home planet of our species. The client believes that there may be valuable ore on this property. But to confirm that our client's title is sound, you must seek out prehistoric records in the ruins of a Trump-era courthouse. Find the place once called Pitts-Burg."

"But sir, wasn't that region of Earth devastated in the Solarii War?"

"Yes, LU-3137 - which is why you will be signing the appropriate asset management paperwork to be issued a protective suit. We will also send two escort bots to protect you from the...wildlife"

"It shall be an honor to complete this mission for the client." LU-3137 kneeled in reverence to his commanding legal officer, then left to begin his journey.

A small scoutship took him and his escorts to Earth, and they landed in a small safe zone several miles outside the ruins of "Pitts-Burg".

"Confederation rule ends outside of this zone," he was warned. "The Confederation cannot protect you from what lies behind."

"I am duty bound to enter the ruins," LU-3137 said. He then donned his protective gear, boarded a hovertank, and left in the direction of the courthouse, his two escort bots flying with him on either side. Though "Pitts-Burg" was once a major human city, in the thousands of years since the Solarii Wars the ruins had been swallowed by a radioactive forest.

For three or four minutes, it seemed easy. The courthouse was just a few miles away - he would be there shortly. Nothing in the forest seemed to be moving. Suddenly, his escort bots became excited.

"LU-3137, hostile life forms ahead!"

"Fire a warning shot," the attorney replied.

"The client will not pay for a warning shot. We are on strict orders to fire only when necess-" the bot was cut off, struck by a primitive rocket of some kind. The escort bot on the other side began firing, but was similarly destroyed a few seconds later. LU-3137 was alone in his hovertank, facing an unknown enemy in the woods ahead.

LU-3137 put on his combat goggles. Ahead, he could see the heat signatures of a dozen or so humanoid figures. They had the bodies of men, but the heads of wolves - perhaps they were mutants who had been created by the radioactivity. They were armed with 21st century weapons, including rocket-propelled grenades and primitive shoulder-launched missiles.

"My hovertank will make short work of these primitives," LU-3137 thought. A single shot from his main cannon could probably take out most of them. He aimed for the center of their formation, pressed the big red button...and nothing. His tank would not fire.

He was close enough to the wolf-men to hear them growl. The leader barked an order to his subordinates, who fired all of their missiles at the hovertank at once.

An automated "SHIELDS FAILING" alert was the last thing that LU-3137 heard, before he was killed by radioactive gas seeping into his vehicle. Soon, he would be torn to bits by hungry wolf-men, glad to have found such an easy meal.

Back in the Sextantis Sector, LU-2999 emerged from his meditation chamber. "The hovertank should have failed by now," he told his secretary. "I shall be on my way to the Hydrae System to recruit LU-3137's replacement. It is a shame he was not partner material."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148866)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 5:19 PM
Author: Talking address

"'The client will not pay for a warning shot. We are on strict orders to fire only when necess-' the bot was cut off, struck by a primitive rocket of some kind."

Brilliant

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148952)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 11:02 AM
Author: Canary pit sex offender

Dilly dilly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152589)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 3:53 PM
Author: laughsome navy business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35154748)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 9:08 PM
Author: razzle bisexual prole station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35144079)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 5:15 PM
Author: flickering base

Danny Dooberstein of Bloomington, Indiana had settled into his dorm room for a night of talking shit about Los Zetas when he heard a loud knock at his door. Something told him not to answer this one - but whoever was at his door would not go away. The knocks came stronger and louder, as if an entity with superhuman strength wanted a word with him. Something told doobs, get the fuck out of here.

He opened a window and started to squeeze his slender frame out. The knocks kept coming - finally, whoever was outside knocked the door down, just as doobs managed to get out via the window. He got only a glimpse of the intruder, a massive man whom he assumed was a Los Zetas hitman out for revenge. A hitman with a hideously deformed nose.

As he ran through the Indiana University campus, doobs thought of ways he could apologize to Los Zetas. Maybe he could trade them something of value: names and addresses of AutoAdmit poasters, or personal phone numbers of MLB players. Why would they need to kill him, when they could let him live and blackmail Bryce Harper instead.

Doobs probably should have spent less time thinking and more time looking at his surroundings - because just as he got the Bryce Harper idea, he hit a tree. He became unconscious for a few seconds. And when he came to, he saw a massive man with a pig snout standing over him.

"What the hell are you!"

"RHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" replied the creature. Then doobs went unconscious again.

He woke up in chains in the back of a big rig tractor-trailer. For days, he was in the darkness as the truck bounced over potholes - across the Mississippi River, across the Missouri River, across the rockies. Without food and water, doobs became weak. Unable to access a bathroom, he became filthy with his own waste. He thought for sure that he would die back there.

Dehydrated and starved, doobs flinched when the back door of the truck swung open and exposed him to sunlight. Temporarily blinded, he could only feel and hear as somebody unchained him, threw him over their shoulder, and carried him out of the truck. When his eyes finally adjusted to daylight, he saw a hideous bald man sitting on a throne before him.

"Who are you", doobs asked. "Are you going to kill me? I can give you twist pics"

"Kill you? I am going to let you truly live for the first time in your life. Nobody has ever believed in you. Not your mother who was worried about your sexuality. Not your professors who assigned you mediocre grades. Not those lawyers you hung out with on the internet, who despised you. But I see your true potential - your latent ability to please thousands of men who ship goods across our nation's highways."

Doobs didn't understand. "What are you going to do to me?"

"I shall train you. By the end of today, you will call me LORD Halford. And you will be on your way to becoming the hungriest FLITH PIG that Interstate 80 has ever seen!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148939)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 7:57 PM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting

so thats how it started

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35149802)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 8:18 AM
Author: razzle bisexual prole station

180!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152020)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:19 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156251)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 9:09 PM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35144084)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 5:45 PM
Author: flickering base

Bill and Dennis were seniors at the University of Georgia who didn’t have plans for winter break. They decided to take a roadtrip up to New York City. Shortly after leaving Athens, GA, their car was struck by lightning - though it was not storming outside.

Bill got out and checked the car. There didn’t seem to be much damage. They decided to continue on their trip.

“Hey, lets see if the radio still works,” Dennis said. None of their usual FM channels were working…but the seek function was able to find one channel.

“This is 92.7 THE FEAR”, the radio said.

Bill and Dennis looked at each other - they had never heard of such a station in Georgia. Maybe it was a South Carolina thing?

“This is your boy spritezero,” the radio said. “Up next it's Random, Brief Sensory Memory of How Your Childhood Back Yard Smelled in Spring by The Oppressive, Sterile Scents of the Office Kitchen"

Bill and Dennis had never heard of the song or the band - but it seemed catchy enough, even if it was a bit weird. They decided to keep the radio on 92.7.

"After the break we'll continue our mellow afternoon set with "Time Moves in Excruciating Infinitesimal Increments" by Life Slipping Away under Florescent Lights & the Stale Recycled Office Air"

"Next, a special for all of the hard-working fathers out there: "Where's Dada? I Want to Play." by Confused Toddler Still in Christmas PJs Being Ignored By SAHM Using $1129 iPad Pro to Play Candy Crush."

"Next up at the bottom of this hour is "Memories of Carefree 2-week Easter Breaks" from Best Bros Sleepover During HBO Real Sex Marathon off their album You'll Never Be Happier Than This, But You Don't Know It Yet"

"It's "If I Killed Myself (I'd Be Remembered As Better Than I Am)" by The Lunching Alone Band"

Weirdly, as they drove up I-95, the station kept playing - it never cut out, the signal never weakened. By the time they hit Virginia, they were hooked.

Finally, they made it to New York City. As they got out of the car, Dennis paused for a second. "Hey Bill - were you wearing a suit when we started driving? Because you're wearing a suit now"

Bill looked at his sleeves, and sure enough he was wearing a conservative business suit. He looked at himself in the car mirror - and was horrified to see the hair on the front of his scalp missing. He looked at Dennis, and Dennis had a huge bald spot on the back of his head.

"What the hell happened to us?!", Bill shouted.

"I don't know," said Dennis. "But I have I have 37 new emails on my BlackBerry"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35149076)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 7:59 PM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting

oh my god, devastating

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35149813)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 8:17 PM
Author: diverse chrome gaping

This needs a lot more love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35149897)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 10:00 PM
Author: flickering base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35150317)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 10:29 PM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35150446)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 10:41 AM
Author: Yellow Boyish Blood Rage Patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152489)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 11:09 AM
Author: primrose slap-happy puppy

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152621)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 4:20 PM
Author: laughsome navy business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35154985)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:20 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156254)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 11:00 AM
Author: Floppy School Cafeteria

this would be a t3 Tales from the Crypt Episode

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159791)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2018 8:32 PM
Author: Glittery fighting forum windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35733605)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2018 10:34 PM
Author: hateful step-uncle's house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35734234)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 9:09 PM
Author: cerise property roommate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35144085)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 6:18 PM
Author: flickering base

Ever since Zach bought a 1958 Corvette from a museum and outfitted it with a Time Dilation Engine, he had a new hobby: traveling back in time to November 22, 1963 and watching Americans react to the news that President John F. Kennedy had been shot in Dallas. He got a huge kick from watching the overly sentimental schmucks of the past get emotional in response to the news that their young President had been killed. What a bunch of crybabies, he thought: most of whom didn't know that the President they were mourning was an inept playboy.

He had been in Times Square when New York found out about the assassination. He had been in JFK's home state of Massachusetts to see Boston gasp in disbelief. He had been to Chicago, Los Angeles, Philadelphia...all the big cities. He had even seen the assassination in person, and laughed as paramedics vainly tried to save the fatally wounded POTUS. Recently, he had tried to time his trips so that he drove through small towns just as news of the assassination broke. He loved to see diners full of shocked small town losers glued to the TV.

For his 71st trip back to 1963, he decided to do something special. This time, he would go to CANADA to see how the morons up there would whine and cry about the death of a leader who wasn't even theirs.

Zach set a course for Toronto, Ontario - November 22, 1963. But he forgot to factor in the fact that there was a meteor shower that night. So instead, he ended up in Albany, New York on November 21, 1963.

No biggie, Zach thought. He had an entire day to drive into Canada. He decided to see Niagara Falls on his way up there. But in Buffalo, his car hit the biggest pothole that he had ever seen. From the smell, he knew that he was fucked - that was the smell of a broken Time Dilation Engine. Zach was now stuck in 1963. In Buffalo, NY, no less.

But he didn't panic: emotion was for the losers he came back in time to laugh at, after all. He put together a plan. First, he sold the chassis of the Corvette. Second, he began investing in companies that he knew would make it big. By the end of the 60's, he was a millionaire. By the start of the 1990's, his investments in tech companies had made him one of the wealthiest men in America. But he kept a low profile, trying to change the future as little as possible.

By now he hated Bills fans, but he knew what they didn't. Zach bought great seats to all four of the Super Bowls the Bills went on to lose from 1990 to 1994. He relished the emotional anguish he saw sitting with Buffalo fans.

After the Bills were blown out by the Cowboys for their 4th consecutive Super Bowl loss, Zach sprang into action to change the timeline. He used his money to buy the Buffalo Bills. During the offseason, he spent heavily on free agents he knew would pan out. The 1994-1995 Buffalo Bills were their most unstoppable team yet, winning the division easily and coasting through the playoffs. By the time they got to Miami for Super Bowl XXXIX, they were clear favorites. The stadium was 75% Bills fans.

The new-look Bills took a 28-0 lead into the 4th quarter. That's when Zach picked up the phone to his head coach, whom he had implanted with a mind control chip (as somebody from the future, he knew how to build those). In fact, the entire Bills team was implanted. Zach would begin calling the worst plays he could think of, and his team of mind-slaves would executive them perfectly. It was time to break Buffalo's heart with an epic meltdown.

As the clock ran out, the scoreboard read San Francisco 36, Buffalo 28. Zach was laughing his ass off in a luxury suite.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35149276)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 6:26 PM
Author: Talking address

Very 180, but the first paramedic units weren't created until the late 60s. Maybe another time traveler created them early though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35149318)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 6:37 PM
Author: flickering base

yeah, let's just say that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35149378)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 7:06 PM
Author: Amber magical center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35149549)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 10:45 PM
Author: Spectacular institution mental disorder

180 as fuck, but the 1994-95 Super Bowl was XXIX, not XXXIX.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35150499)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 10:49 PM
Author: flickering base

Ty for the bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35150515)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 11:15 AM
Author: Canary pit sex offender

So much 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152659)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 12th, 2018 9:57 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle pungent antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35144268)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 10:41 AM
Author: flickering base

Stefan and Werner are anthropologists at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, MD. The University is allowing them to take the fall semester off from teaching so they can go to New Mexico and conduct field work among the Hopi Indians.

Unfortunately, on their cross-country roadtrip to New Mexico, their car breaks down irreparably in St. Louis, MO. They manage to walk to the WUSTL campus, a fortress of scholarship where they can be safe and secure. Johns Hopkins is unwilling to pay the few thousand dollars it would take to buy them a new car, and they certainly can't afford such an expenditure themselves, so they decide to stay in St. Louis and study the WUSTL law student instead of the Hopi Indian.

By December, they have made some fascinating observations and are working on a paper that discusses loss of hope as a rite of passage among the WUSTL law student. 1Ls come to campus each year full of confidence and optimism about their future, are dealt multiple career setbacks beginning with 1L summer application season, and then undergo a full transformation to depressed cynic by the end of 2L OCI. They theorize that the big law firm interviewers who come to campus to reject WUSTL's students play the role that a shaman would in a more traditional society: through rejection, they put the WUSTL law student in touch with a higher spiritual truth.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152485)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 10:43 AM
Author: Talking address

"Do the WUSTL: Transitions and Transformations in Middle-Prestige Law Centers," published in Journal of Anthropological Psychology No. 21, 2009

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152497)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 10:52 AM
Author: flickering base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152540)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 2:25 PM
Author: Claret bossy macaca chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35154084)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 1:37 AM
Author: Olive native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35145652)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 11:03 AM
Author: flickering base

Congressman Smith had been representing Staten Island in the House of Representatives for several terms - he had become a true Washington insider by now. Each day he met with lobbyists representing the biggest Wall Street banks, representatives from powerful police and fire department unions, and raked in millions of dollars in donations from defense contractors.

One weekend, the House was adjourned: he hated that, as it meant he had to drag himself to Reagan National Airport and take the shuttle up to NYC to pretend to meet with constituents: though he did this at town halls where everything was scripted and the "constituents" in the audience were hand picked by his political team.

But this weekend, there was 3 inches of snow in Washington DC. Reagan National was shut down and no flights were taking on or off. Congressman Smith had lost touch with his district - but he was still enough of a New Yorker to not be intimidated by a mere 3 inches of snow. He decided to just drive up to Staten Island himself.

On the way up, as he passed through the industrial sections of Baltimore, Wilmington, and Trenton, he began to reminisce about his early life, before Princeton. He was the son of a NYPD officer, his friends were all children of auto mechanics, electricians, or maybe union pipefitters. They were all good kids. He wondered if there were still people like that on Staten Island, and what they thought of him and his elite ways.

By the time he crossed the Arthur Kill into his district, Congressman Smith had a new-found desire to connect with the common man. He vowed to go into the first restaurant he saw, talk to real voters, and represent THEIR concerns in Congress.

It was Saturday morning, and he saw a sign that said BRUNCH. A Staten Island Brunch, he thought, surely there would be some interesting characters there.

He walked in, introduced himself to the largest table of Staten Island brunchers, and asked them what issues they cared about.

"I lost millions of dollars in tezos," one constituent said. "Congress needs to make investing in crypto easier."

"I am discriminated against at work because I wear a diaper," said another. "We need protection for those of us who wear protection."

"They arrested me at my gym for working out nude and stimming - we can't allow clothmo supremacy to be enshrined in laws"

"We need to kick out Irish immigrants. They are prole as fuck."

Congressman Smith took meticulous notes. He had never heard of many of these issues before. This was good field research! He thanked the participants and promised to fight for their issues in Washington. He had no idea, but he had attended an AutoAdmit meetup, and he was about to become XO Congressman Smith.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152591)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 11:15 AM
Author: Talking address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152658)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 11:31 AM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152742)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 4:40 PM
Author: laughsome navy business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35155157)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 5:19 PM
Author: Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground

Ho Lee Fuk

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35155434)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 8:53 PM
Author: Olive native

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35192977)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2018 8:37 PM
Author: Glittery fighting forum windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35733627)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 3:47 PM
Author: ungodly indigo home selfie



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148421)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 2:12 PM
Author: flickering base

Sarah, Patricia, and Holly are 29 year old women working in communications for non-profits in Washington DC. One Sunday morning, they go out to brunch together at Alta Strada.

Sarah has Eggs Benedetto with Duck Ragout and Blood Orange Hollandaise.

Patricia has the Carmelized Onion & Pear Pizza with fresh mozzerella cheese, bacon, and aged Balsamico.

Holly has homemade spaghetti carbonara with leeks, scallions, and onions.

They split side of crispy potatoes with rosemary and sea salt and a ricotta parfait with maple granola, dried fruit, honey, and pomegranate seeds.

Then they squeeze into Patricia’s Ford Fusion for a roadtrip to Winchester, VA, a delightful small town in the Shenandoah Valley. In Winchester, they will be visiting a winery for a wine and cheese sampling affair.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35153973)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 2:25 PM
Author: Talking address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35154076)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 10:41 AM
Author: ungodly indigo home selfie

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159689)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 4:48 PM
Author: Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground

They need to get shot glasses in Front Royal

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35162184)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2018 10:37 PM
Author: hateful step-uncle's house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35734243)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:10 PM
Author: Saffron multi-colored location round eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148585)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 1:43 PM
Author: flickering base

As Jacob drove in the direction of Ithaca, NY, he thought about Valerie, the girl he met while they were both undergraduates at Cornell. He thought about how he proposed to Valerie at graduation, and moved with her to the small Midwestern college town where she was doing grad school. While Valerie earned her PhD, Jacob got a gig as a lecturer in the English department. He shared his passion for the great novels of English literature with bright college students. It didn't pay much, but it was more than enough to get by in this low COL town.

Then Valerie got her PhD, got a tenure track position, and Jacob moved to another charming college town with her. Valerie's decent salary, good benefits, and defined benefit pension plan gave them financial stability, allowing Jacob to work on his short stories and novels. Eventually, he got published and was a local celebrity of sorts with the students, a famous local author who got national attention. Valerie and Jacob had three kids, who played with the similarly high performing children of other successful academics.

Finally, Jacob got to Ithaca. He pulled up to the side of one of Ithaca's beautiful gorges. It was here that he broke up with Valerie at the end of their senior year. They didn't have life goals in common, he told her. He was headed to Columbia Law School and a high powered legal career in New York City. He took a deep breath, jumped into the gorge, and plummeted to his death. His last thought was of Valerie's playful smile.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35153755)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 2:26 PM
Author: Talking address

This is a toxic Sunday on XO, sheesh.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35154087)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 5:53 AM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159096)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2018 8:38 PM
Author: Glittery fighting forum windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35733638)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 4:29 PM
Author: dead violent orchestra pit organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35148733)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 3:15 PM
Author: flickering base

Sam left Los Angeles at 8 PM and took I-5 north. Past Bakersfield, past Modesto, past Sacramento, he kept driving for nearly nine hours, stopping only to get gas.

By sunrise, he is exactly where he wants to be. Lassen Peak National Park.

https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/b/clouds-over-manzanita-lake-lassen-peak-sunrise-lassen-volcanic-national-park-morning-51859439.jpg

He watches dawn happen against the backdrop of a beautiful volcano. He thinks about how the eruption that created Lassen Peak happened tens of thousands of years ago, but people still drive all the way up here to gaze at it.

Sam thought: was there anything he was doing that people would want to look at years after he was gone? Was there anything he was doing that even had the CHANCE to be his Lassen Peak?

Sam realized that nothing he did at work would ever be of interest to future generations, not even to people 10 years from now. No: Sam would dedicate less time to work, and more time to poasting on AutoAdmit. He would endeavor to make threads that people would bump for years to come, the way he just blank bumped Lassen Peak.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35154415)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 3:37 PM
Author: Talking address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35154560)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 4:41 PM
Author: dead violent orchestra pit organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35155163)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 5:55 AM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159098)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 5:46 PM
Author: Abnormal khaki wagecucks rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35149079)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 10:02 PM
Author: Claret bossy macaca chapel

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35150321)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 13th, 2018 10:30 PM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting

incredible 180 thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35150450)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 12:55 AM
Author: Abnormal khaki wagecucks rehab

haven't even made it past 4 of OP's poasts and wholly shit, this is on another level of rating threads

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35151155)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 12:57 AM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting

All of them are better than any other poast on the board this week

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35151160)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 12:58 AM
Author: Abnormal khaki wagecucks rehab

cr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35151164)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 1:21 AM
Author: stubborn lodge potus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35151221)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 10:32 AM
Author: Erotic titillating ratface

Krampusnacht is my daddy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152439)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 10:34 AM
Author: Talking address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152449)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 11:13 AM
Author: primrose slap-happy puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152648)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:20 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156262)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 11:09 AM
Author: Floppy School Cafeteria

Usually these threads begin petering out after 4-5 posts but this one is unbelievably consistent from start to finish

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159828)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 11:29 AM
Author: emerald casino

cr lots of TuTuthreading ITT

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152731)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 1:16 AM
Author: Pontificating beady-eyed temple mad-dog skullcap

this is scholarship

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35151209)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 10:55 AM
Author: Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152549)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 11:09 AM
Author: primrose slap-happy puppy

best thread in years

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35152617)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 2:19 PM
Author: federal range son of senegal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35154021)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 2:29 PM
Author: mauve marketing idea background story

you're an insanely talented poaster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35154127)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 4:05 PM
Author: flickering base

crazy how this thread gets tons of bumps from day crew but NOTHING from nite crew

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35154859)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 5:23 PM
Author: Purple bearded site digit ratio

settle down

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35155460)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 8:48 PM
Author: sienna filthy abode

It’s funny how pissed off he gets when we don’t give him attention

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156926)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 5:26 PM
Author: Abnormal khaki wagecucks rehab

I poasted this last night: http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&mc=136&forum_id=2#35151155

amazing thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35155484)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 6:10 PM
Author: flickering base

tyft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35155779)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 6:58 PM
Author: dark theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156070)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:03 PM
Author: flickering base

RSF matches with a Tinder 9 from Miami while hanging out in NYC. He is all ready to book LGA -> MIA when a huge computer error brings down the entire US airline industry for two days. Unable to fly anywhere and desiring to pwn JJC by fucking this Tinder chick, RSF comes up with an alternative.

He asks LtDan to DRIVE him to Miami. To simulate first class conditions, RSF puts the front passenger seat all the way down so he can lie flat. Also, he constantly has LtDan stop along I-95 to pick up canapes and cocktails, and serve them to him as a first class stewardness might. RSF lies flat the entire time except occasionally he gets up to yell at "NOWAGs" in other cars.

The ordeal takes several days with "overnight layovers" in elite hotels along the way, but RSF manages to meet up with the chick and easily scores. He then posts pictures of the chick on XO as part of a detailed trip report, to which JJC can only meekly respond by mocking RSF's lack of a top 7 MBA.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156101)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:16 PM
Author: Talking address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156207)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:18 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156235)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:52 PM
Author: Canary pit sex offender

Holy fucking shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156551)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 8:47 PM
Author: flickering base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156919)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 5:56 AM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159101)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 7:54 AM
Author: Erotic titillating ratface

Lmfao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159164)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 10:40 AM
Author: Mentally impaired flatulent hunting ground

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159681)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 6:53 PM
Author: Claret bossy macaca chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35192308)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:26 PM
Author: submissive faggot firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156307)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:33 PM
Author: flickering base

JJC is diagnosed with a terminal illness, and his friends decide to get together and give him the night of his life.

In the morning, JJC is picked up in a limo. The driver takes him to "Harvard Business School" - a location designed to look like the HBS campus in Allston. An actor pretending to be the HBS dean welcomes him to Harvard Business School and introduces him to his "section" - a bunch of actors pretending to be his classmates.

JJC makes smalltalk with his "sectionmates", actors who are pretending to be alumni of elite investment banks, private equity firms, and startups. All of these "sectionmates" take time to converse with JJC on subjects such as the relative quality-of-life of Chicago vs NYC, the correct valuation of various assets, and where they plan to travel and party during the upcoming school year. Each of them clearly indicates that they consider JJC a peer and complement his work experience.

A few actors among his "section" are playing the role of retired military officers or veterans of the public sector. JJC does not interact with them, and the other actors share his indignation that such riff-raff are now routinely admitted to HBS, because their job experience is nowhere near as impressive as elite Wall Street quants.

Following his reception at HBS, JJC is taken to a "club" where all of the women are paid actresses who have been instructed to find HBS impressive. The "H Bomb" is truly powerful and JJC gets the "girlfriend experience" from several extremely attractive women.

Finally, the limo takes him to a big mansion in the suburbs, which JJC is told is "RSF's House". Inside, there is an actor playing RSF and an actor playing "RSF's father". RSF's father praises JJC and says that he wishes he had such a hard-working and well educated son. In front of "RSF", RSF's dad disowns RSF and makes JJC heir to his fortune. "RSF" cries in a corner while several attractive women who had been with RSF go over to JJC.

"We'll see what unfolds..." JJC tells "RSF"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156364)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:39 PM
Author: Talking address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156452)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:55 PM
Author: Canary pit sex offender



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156565)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:56 PM
Author: violent parlour

181

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156578)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 5:58 AM
Author: Purple bearded site digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159103)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 5:59 AM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting

lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159104)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 7:57 AM
Author: Erotic titillating ratface

I assume the house is in new jersey

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159165)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 8:14 AM
Author: sickened insane private investor mood

lmao holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159186)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 10:57 AM
Author: walnut garrison voyeur

did you watch Synecdoche, New York last night or something?

also 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159775)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: fantasy-prone kitchen mad cow disease

lmao 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35189027)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 6:52 PM
Author: Claret bossy macaca chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35192302)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2018 8:41 PM
Author: Glittery fighting forum windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35733649)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 14th, 2018 7:40 PM
Author: demanding giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35156458)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: flickering base

Joey is a young Italian-American man living in the crime-ridden Chicago of the late 1920's. Unsatisfied with life in the Windy City, Joey gets into his car and takes Route 66 to Los Angeles: where, he's convinced, he will become a star and be in pictures.

The trip to LA takes him over a week, and the vast openness of the American west he experiences can be filled only with his movie star dreams. When he finally gets to Los Angeles, though, he finds that getting into pictures isn't that easy. The studios are moving to "talkies" and Joey's accent is proving to be a problem, and his looks aren't as good as his mama told him. He has trouble finding even bit parts.

Finally, Joey gives up, and takes a series of menial working class jobs in Los Angeles. Working in the oil industry, working in construction, that kind of stuff. He is able to scratch together enough money to buy a modest house in a working class part of town. He dies disappointed, feeling like a failure, feeling like he didn't build a better life for his kids.

What Joey could not know is that many years later, his grandkids would sell that crappy house for over $900,000 to all cash Chinese buyers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35161503)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 5:02 PM
Author: Talking address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35162256)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 16th, 2018 9:25 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35171997)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 9:19 AM
Author: Misanthropic aphrodisiac quadroon nowag

somebody archive this shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159309)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 10:59 AM
Author: walnut garrison voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35159787)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 15th, 2018 5:03 PM
Author: Supple Jade Heaven Foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35162267)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 12:39 PM
Author: flickering base

Jerrod left his parents house in rural Mecklenburg County, Virginia and headed north on I-85 towards Richmond, where he was attending a MENSA meetup. He was so happy to leave his stupid, Trump-loving home town behind and hang out with some real intellectuals.

He hit some traffic near Petersburg, but within two hours he was parked outside of an old brick warehouse in downtown Richmond that had recently been converted into luxury apartments.

A balding man with a long ponytail enthusiastically welcomed him to the meetup. There was cheese and crackers from upscale establishments like Trader Joe's and Whole Foods, not inferior products from stupid people grocery stores like Food Lion or Giant. Folks were enthusiastically playing board games: not board games for dumb people like Monopoly or Risk, but board games for smart people like Settlers of Catan or Dixit.

At one point, the party was interrupted so that everyone could do a 5 minute "TED Talk" about a subject of their choice. One guy did a talk about why atheists should rebrand themselves as "brights". Another guy did a talk about how they could use memes to fight Trump on the internet. And finally, the bald ponytail guy invited everyone to come to Washington DC with him next month for the next March for Science.

Jerrod was very sad to leave and drive back home. His mother was waiting for him, asking him why he didn't make the bed or clean the bathroom before leaving. "Damnit mom, why are you stupid!", he yelled.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35189428)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 1:44 PM
Author: Talking address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35189955)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 6:00 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35191947)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 6:53 PM
Author: Claret bossy macaca chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35192306)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 6:54 PM
Author: Supple Jade Heaven Foreskin

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35192318)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 16th, 2018 9:25 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35171991)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 11:59 AM
Author: flickering base

Gaspar told the folks at his Jersey City accounting office that he needed to leave at 3 PM on Friday for a doctor's appointment. But he didn't have an appointment. He wanted to leave early for his weekend trip to upstate New York, where he was hoping to butcher and kill another prostitute. He had already killed seven, leaving their bodies in shallow graves by the highway. Authorities had only found three.

A few hours later, Gaspar was in Middletown, New York having dinner at a greasy spoon diner. That's where a fellow with a big beard walked up to him.

"So I see we've got another killer in here," the bearded stranger said.

Gaspar didn't know how to respond to that. "What are you?", he asked. "FBI? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, you must be new to this. You don't know that after your 12th victim, you can see who the other predators are? By the looks in their eye?"

Gaspar looked the stranger in the eye. He didn't see anything unusual. "What are you talking about?"

"You're a newbie. I bet you haven't even noticed that they all come back."

"What do you mean, they come back," Gaspar said. He was started to get annoyed with this weirdo.

"Everyone you kill, they come back. As a dog. Not a street dog, as somebody's pet. They say God feels sorry for them, so they come back as a spoiled, pampered pet. And you always meet them again."

"I think you've had a little too much meth," Gaspar told the stranger.

"Look for it after your next kill. You'll meet a dog. A poodle that growls at you. A basset hound that won't stop barking when you walk by. They all come back as a dog. Every single one."

"I hope when they catch you, the prison has a great psychiatrist," Gaspar said. He left cash for his dinner and got the hell out of Middletown.

The next day, Gaspar picked a girl up at a bar in Wurtsboro, NY. He took her to the nearby state forest and slit her throat with such great violence that his knife actually hit bone. He then mutilated her genital area before beating her face with the handle of his knife. This knocked a few teeth loose, which he took with him as a trophy.

Driving back to Jersey City, Gaspar was running low on fuel. He tried to find a nice rural gas station - the kind without a security camera - but was forced to stop at a big Exxon off the interstate. As he put a tiger in his tank, he heard some pounding from the next car over. He looked up, and there was a Chihuahua in the car, barking at him. Furiously knocking its little paws on the window, trying to get out and go after him.

"They come back as a dog", Gaspar muttered. He got out of that gas station as fast as he could.

He was back in Jersey City by nightfall, and found a great parking spot just a few blocks from his apartment. As he opened the door to his car, he was greeted by a very angry Pitt bull.

"Hi buddy," Gaspar said, trying to put the dog at ease. "Where's your person?"

The Pitt bull barked, growled, and lunged into the car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35189087)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 1:46 PM
Author: Talking address

What in the fuck.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35189974)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 6:00 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35191949)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 20th, 2018 9:42 AM
Author: razzle bisexual prole station

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35195814)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 17th, 2018 9:57 AM
Author: diverse chrome gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35174488)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 11:24 AM
Author: flickering base

Zac was driving from his parents house in Brookline, Massachusetts to begin his freshman year of college at Dartmouth. While stopped at a gas station off I-93, Zac forgot to lock his car. Somebody broke in and stole his GPS.

Zac was bummed. He remembered what his grandfather had told him when he received his Dartmouth admissions letter: to always use a GPS when driving through "darkest New Hampshire", because the side roads could be dangerous..."dangerous for your soul", his grampa always added.

But he didn't want to turn around: he had worked too hard to not matriculate at an Ivy League School. "I'll just follow signs for Hannover," Zac said. "How hard could it be?"

Zac took I-93 through Manchester and Concord, and then merged onto I-89. He got as far as the small town of Lebanon, NH before he had to get off the interstate, and onto a smaller state highway. Suddenly, there were no further signs for Hanover. Zac was lost. In Darkest New Hampshire.

The road got narrower, the scenery got more rustic. Zac had no idea where he was. Finally, he saw some kids playing on the side of the road. Good New Hampshire farm boys. He pulled over and asked them if they knew where Hanover was.

"Gosh, sir, I don't know," the first kid answered.

"You should ask Old Man Jenkins," the second kid suggested. "I think he went to school in Hanover. He lives just a few houses down Knapp Road"

Zac thanked the kids. He drove down about a half mile, and sure enough there was a house there. Surrounded by a fence and many NO TRESPASSING signs.

"Old Man Jenkins looks mean, but I'm sure he'll help a fellow Dartmouth man", Zac thought. He approached the house waving his hands in the air and shouting that he just wanted directions to Hanover.

Old Man Jenkins was having none of it. He fired a shot from his rifle at Zac, just barely missing wide left. His second shot hit Zac right in the shoulder.

Zac panicked and ran into the woods. He was bleeding profusely, hot blood was running down his arm, staining his jacket a crimson red. Running out of adrenaline, Zac collapsed in a small clearing. He was going to die here. Oh god, he was going to die here and never see Dartmouth.

Zac faded in and out of consciousness. Some time later - hours or minutes, it all seemed the same to him - he woke up to a middle aged woman standing over him.

"Don't worry, Earth child", she told him. "You are going to live."

Zac looked over, and saw several women bringing a goat into the clearing. While chanting something unintelligible, they plunged a knife into the goat. The goat screamed in agony as it died. Then, the woman who talked to him came back and smeared his face with the goat's blood. Zach slipped back into unconsciousness.

When Zac woke up again, it was dawn and he felt great. He checked his shoulder, and there was no sign of a bullet wound. Somehow, he "knew" where his car was, and how to get there without trespassing on Old Man Jenkins' property. Sure enough, a few miles down the road there was a sign saying that Hanover was just a few miles away.

Zac made it to Dartmouth in time for freshman orientation. His first night in the dorm, he even hooked up with a cute girl who was starting college with him. But that girl ran out of his dorm room screaming in terror when Zac, upon achieving orgasm, began to loudly bleat "ME-EH-EH! ME-MEH-EH! ME-EEEEEEH!" - an eerily accurate goat noise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35188854)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 1:48 PM
Author: Talking address

...hm.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35189989)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 5:55 PM
Author: Floppy School Cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35191910)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 6:00 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35191953)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 6:52 PM
Author: Claret bossy macaca chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35192303)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 20th, 2018 9:45 AM
Author: razzle bisexual prole station

these are getting 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35195834)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2018 8:46 PM
Author: Glittery fighting forum windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35733667)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 6:00 PM
Author: violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35191956)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 6:46 PM
Author: flickering base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35192253)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 6:50 PM
Author: Soggy Gay Den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35192289)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 8:13 PM
Author: flickering base

Toby was a 12 year old boy who loved space. One day, his parents got him a model rocket. But it was illegal to shoot off model rockets in the city where Toby lived. Thankfully, Toby's Uncle Phil agreed to drive Toby out to the country and shoot off the rocket there.

Toby enthusiastically strapped himself into the front passenger seat of Uncle Toby's vintage El Camino and the two drove for hours to the woods. Finally, they got to a remote location. The sky was blue, the weather was perfect.

"We're gonna shoot off rockets!", Toby yelled.

"No," said Uncle Phil. "You're gonna help me shoot off MY rocket."

With that, Uncle Phil took off his pants. He gestured for Toby to come towards him. When Toby refused, he pulled out a knife and threatened to kill the boy if he didn't come up.

At that moment, there was a flash in the sky, a loud sound, like an explosion. A small meteor came down from the sky and hit Uncle Phil in the back of the head, killing him instantly. The space rock burned a gruesome hole into the back of Uncle Phil's head.

Toby took the cell phone from Uncle Phil's pantsless carcass and called the police. Within an hour, local law enforcement authorities were on site, taking Toby into protective custody and carting Uncle Phil's body away to the morgue.

In the woods, a robed figure watched all of this. For years, he had been coming here, praying for a meteor to end his miser, learning to become one with the universe. Today was going to be the day - he was just a few seconds away from freedom before he realized somebody else needed it more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35192787)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 9:01 PM
Author: Soggy Gay Den

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35193021)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 19th, 2018 9:10 PM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35193064)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 20th, 2018 2:26 AM
Author: sickened insane private investor mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35195061)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 20th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: razzle bisexual prole station

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35195839)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 20th, 2018 9:31 AM
Author: anal free-loading mother



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35195757)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 20th, 2018 9:42 AM
Author: flickering base

Ted was a mid-career compliance professional living in New York City. One day, he was visited by his cousin Freddie, a somewhat violently inclined petty criminal from Philadelphia. Ted decided to take Freddie out for a day in Manhattan.

At one point, Freddie ran into a 5'8" balding man wearing an unremarkable dark gray suit (that nonetheless cost $1200). The man had been reading emails on his phone and bumped into Freddie.

"Hey, what's the matter with you? You got a problem with me?", Freddie told the balding man.

"Freddie, don't mess with him. He's BIGLAW!", Ted shouted. "He can fuck you up!"

Freddie didn't know what that meant. He threw a punch at the biglawyer, hitting him right in the jaw. The biglawyer hunched over and began wheezing. Freddie then rained blows down upon the biglawyer's back. It wasn't long before the lawyer crumpled to the ground. He wasn't big no more.

The incident had attracted a crowd - many people stared in amazement at what had gone down. A myth had been shattered: BIGLAW attorneys weren't invincible! They could be taken down, and easily so.

Quickly, mobs organized all over Manhattan. Entire shifts of construction workers abandoned their job sites and went from skyscraper to skyscraper, finding the BIGLAW offices and beating up the terrified associates. Mobile death squads of bankers roved the financial district in luxury SUVs, performing smash and run operations against elite Wall Street firms. By the next morning, there was even a third year M&A associate in stocks in Battery Park, where tourists threw rotten fruit at him while he muttered incoherently about "due process". As a transactional lawyer, he didn't really know what that was, but it was a phrase he remembered from law school.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35195810)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 20th, 2018 9:47 AM
Author: razzle bisexual prole station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35195846)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 20th, 2018 4:08 PM
Author: Talking address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35198127)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 20th, 2018 9:32 PM
Author: Exhilarant gas station famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35199845)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2018 8:44 PM
Author: flickering base

reading this thread again, this one's my favorite

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35733658)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2018 8:47 PM
Author: Glittery fighting forum windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35733669)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 20th, 2018 3:33 PM
Author: flickering base

Tommy was a 22 year old with Aspergers Syndrome. He had just graduated with decent grades from a state flagship engineering program, but the fact that he did not care about his appearance and the fact that he was bad at interviewing meant that he did not yet have a job offer.

He decided to do a cross-country roadtrip, visiting all lower 48 state capitals. He loved memorizing state capitals.

He was in capital #10, Annapolis, MD, when he got a bit distracted counting the number of bricks on a plaza near the Maryland state house. It was about 5:30 PM when he wandered back to his car, and at that point some of Maryland's roughest lawyers were leaving the nearby Maryland Supreme Court building.

"Hey look at this weirdo," one of the state appellate lawyers said.

"Hey rainman, how about we make it rain out of your nose," said another lawyer, threateningly.

Tommy was terrified. He was surrounded by nasty men threatening his physical well-being. Not knowing what else to do, he screamed. Right at one of the lawyers.

Suddenly, the lawyer's face turned into a bloody pulp and he fell to the ground, dead. Tommy realized what was happening: he was somehow able to control the sound waves coming out of his mouth, to concentrate them at one target. He could turn his own screaming into a weapon.

As the other lawyers stood their, puzzled at what happened to their colleague, Tommy took turns directing his scream at each of them. He was able to kill all of them with direct sound waves to the head.

Tommy then got into his car and tried to get the hell out of Annapolis. He needed to get to Richmond, VA and he needed to get there fast.

But in his rear view mirror, he started seeing suspicious cars. Black SUVs with government plates. Plain clothes police cars. He was being followed. The government knew about his power.

Tommy did a U turn through the streets of Annapolis, to try to get them off his back. But they turned after him. Now he knew he was being followed.

Tommy abandoned his car and ran through the streets of Annapolis. Officers on foot would be sure to follow, he needed a safe place to hide.

Suddenly, he saw an old man in a labcoat. "Come with me if you want to be safe", the old man said.

Tommy looked at the man, unsure if he could trust him.

"Look, I'm like you," the old man said. The old man took a bottle of water out from under his labcoat, opened it...and then the water shot out in a single stream, did a loop, and went back into the bottle. "You can control sound, I can control water. I know a safe place where you can hide from the authorities, where we can help you develop your powers."

Tommy ran towards the old man, accepting his offer of help. The old man hugged Tommy...and then jabbed a syringe needle into Tommy's neck. It was full of poison. Tommy died quickly, before he could scream.

The old man hit a radio button on his collar. "Volcano Lair, this is Mako 1. Target is neutralized."

"Excellent work, Doctor Hydraulic!", said a German-accented voice on the other side.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35197887)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 20th, 2018 4:09 PM
Author: Talking address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35198144)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 20th, 2018 5:23 PM
Author: sickened insane private investor mood

(posts a rating in a rating thread without having anybody to rate)

180 content ITT (possibly TOTY) but poor form brother

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35198524)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 20th, 2018 5:24 PM
Author: flickering base

in time the critics will come to see it as a refreshing break from XO formalism

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35198526)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 25th, 2018 10:16 AM
Author: Racy hairless tanning salon

stfu faggot

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35233556)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 25th, 2018 10:12 AM
Author: Canary pit sex offender



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35233525)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 5th, 2018 2:15 AM
Author: Claret bossy macaca chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35326792)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 5th, 2018 2:21 AM
Author: Comical locus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35326805)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 18th, 2018 3:44 PM
Author: flickering base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35431977)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2018 8:18 PM
Author: flickering base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35733513)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2018 8:38 PM
Author: Sooty blathering parlor elastic band



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35733635)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2018 8:48 PM
Author: Glittery fighting forum windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35733674)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2018 9:11 PM
Author: Umber charismatic church building fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35733794)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 1st, 2018 7:17 AM
Author: hateful step-uncle's house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#35735629)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 1st, 2018 11:00 PM
Author: flickering base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#37142301)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 28th, 2019 8:58 PM
Author: flickering base

lmao remember when I wasn't an SPS poaster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#37859959)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 24th, 2019 8:45 PM
Author: startling trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#37983748)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 12th, 2020 7:44 PM
Author: flickering base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#39999819)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 12th, 2020 7:46 PM
Author: Blue Dopamine Ladyboy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3857749&forum_id=2#39999829)