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3 years, 200k swipes, 500 matches, 150 convos, 75 dates, 0 connections (DTP)
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Date: April 21st, 2018 9:37 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration real life doesn't seem real anymore, like it must be a form of virtual reality, or i'm not human. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891217) |
Date: April 21st, 2018 9:38 PM Author: Flickering people who are hurt native I’ve been with an app girl for a few years
I was staring at her earlier just thinking to myself how indifferent I am to her existence and how no connection was ultimately made |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 9:40 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration i have felt myself sliding along a track which would have placed myself comfortably in your position several times now, each time my soul wanted to scream out in pain, and did, and things conveniently combusted shortly after. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891232) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 9:54 PM Author: Flickering people who are hurt native Don’t get it twisted, I’m so filled with rage and disgust at myself for allowing myself to be in this position I can’t even convey it properly
I feel every ounce of what was once living and joyful in me has been buried years ago and I did it all to myself
Example: I’m at a meal with her right now and haven’t said a word to see if she can provide one meaningful insight. Take a guess as to what’s occurred thus far? |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 9:57 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration what's your previous moniker(s)? public background story?
i guess you're like the mirror image of me, but what we share is mutual disgust for apps, modernity, and life.
what's she doing to ruin your meal? |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 9:56 PM Author: Bistre masturbator Why would you stay with someone you feel indifferent to (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891331) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 9:50 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891288) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 9:55 PM Author: cowardly citrine giraffe mediation 200k swipes? does the app keep track of that for you? lol if it does, and lol if you kept track yourself. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891326) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 9:58 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration loose estimate
suffice it to say, i am very mentally ill from the feeling of swiping alone. will probably feel a "swiping" vertigo on my death bed, representing the hollow and superficial and empty life i led. |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 10:57 PM Author: Copper thriller karate trump supporter 194819174919840195 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891593) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 3:02 AM Author: Passionate stead sweet tailpipe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35892720) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 10:07 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891381) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 10:09 PM Author: Chestnut dragon scourge upon the earth YOU | ARE | A | FAGGOT (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891393) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 10:10 PM Author: Razzmatazz theater stage antidepressant drug (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891399) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 10:49 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891568) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 10:12 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration tyft (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891408) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 10:50 PM Author: Curious home let's say you got a free pass on McVeighing the corporate HQ of one single company which contributed to the current dating ecosystem. which company would you pick, and why? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891572) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 10:54 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration never really thought of it like that
the logical answer would be tinder
but even if u were to transport me to 19th century russia, i would just be that underground man dood. i just wish i were never born. |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 10:56 PM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder If you didn't see this as the inevitable result after 5 dates this is really mostly your fault (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891590) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 10:57 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration i didn't put a bullet thru my head at age 18. 100% my fault (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891592) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 10:58 PM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder Youre taking this all far too seriously. Maybe you're not meant to find a woman. Why aren't you comfortable with that outcome? Whos expectations are you trying to live up to? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891597) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:01 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration only my own. i shrug off expectations in all other areas.
youthful infatuation is the only "high" that allows me to get through my otherwise miserable existence. |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:01 PM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder Maybe you need to grow out of that now (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891610) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:04 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration maybe
i haven't changed since i was 18, just the levels of disgust, anger, and alienation grown much larger |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:09 PM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder If you are going to continue living I would suggest trying to slowly modify the values you see the world through.
It might help to give yourself and other people a break on being disgusting and notice when you're getting angry at them and at yourself.
And since alienation is a function of empathy/disgust and love/anger, the more you move towards the first in the pairs the less alienated you'll feel
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:20 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration easier said than done, short of turning myself into a vegetable (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891691) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:25 PM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder It's both simple and easy. When you feel disgusted, will yourself to feel love. Start with neutral people, say slightly ugly or slightly older women. Instead of feeling disgusted, force yourself to accept and love them. Just in your head.
If you don't start doing this soon you will continue to flail about in the quicksand that is your extremely unhealthy and extremely inaccurate view of others.
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:30 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration so i can will myself to love fat old shrewy white women? it's that easy? fuck man. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891726) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:33 PM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder Not in a romantic sense. It's unlikely you're ready for a romantic relationship. I'm talking about trying to feel strictly platonic love our empathy towards one human stranger tomorrow. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891741) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:34 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration and then? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891744) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:35 PM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder See what it feels like. The goal would be to work up to feeling this way or neutral towards the people you currently hate and that disgust you most of the time. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891749) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:37 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration we may have a bit of a misunderstanding there. i don't feel disgust or hate towards specific people, more towards the abstract conditions of life. i hate aging, not aged people. i hate missed youth, not young sluts who don't give me the time of day.
i feel disgust towards the qualitative difference between an old hag and a bouncy young girl, not the hag itself. |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:39 PM Author: Beta electric rehab ladyboy DTP, u are talking to a complete loser and an ideologue (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891766) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:46 PM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder I'm obviously a loser but what makes me an ideologue? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891803) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:45 PM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder My point is if you can learn to feel love towards individual people you will start to think about individuals, who turn out to be less pathetic than your extremely widdled down and critical abstractions.
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 12:00 AM Author: dark shivering internal respiration scenario: let's say i have a really toxic thought: "3 CM OF FACIAL BONE IS WHAT SEPARATES A GIGA CHAD FROM A FOREVER ALONE DORK"
how does my love for human individuals quell this discomfort and rage? |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 12:04 AM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder Because what does it matter if you or anyone is a chad or a dork? You and everyone are what they are. Why does this make you angry? Are you some kinda ultra egalitarian that hates inequality or something? The chad gets girls and the dork doesn't. Big deal (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891890) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 12:06 AM Author: dark shivering internal respiration this is where you jump the shark and attempt the impossible.
good try brother. |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 12:08 AM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder Alright bro but you're obviously not a chad so you might want to come to terms with this sooner than later. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891908) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 12:11 AM Author: dark shivering internal respiration "you are not a chad"
i agree
"you are not a chad but instead a forever alone dork, and this makes no difference because people are what they are and you should be at peace and accept it"
lol no |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 12:16 AM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder I was working within your framework. You are not a chad, which means meeting a million random women on the internet might not work for you. Consider irl, where there is the very real chance you'll never meet anyone but there is a chance (unlike online) you'll meet someone and connect. That's the risk I think you need to accept. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891943) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 12:18 AM Author: dark shivering internal respiration no, i agree that i'm a forever alone dork and that my life outcomes are vastly divergent from chad's. where i don't agree is not letting it bother me, or that it's somehow on some level, okay.
irl didn't work for me in the decade before online dating came out. why would it start working for me now? |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 12:30 AM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder Right but I asked you why the possibility of not getting a woman bothered you so much, and you said because infatuation is the only good thing in life. That's not credited dude, and might itself be holding you back from a connection, i.e. you can't connect with a women over a mural interest in infatuation (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891999) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 12:33 AM Author: dark shivering internal respiration yes, i know. i am completely broken on so many levels, there isn't even a roadmap for patching things up, really it's just bullet and hope to start over in some other life. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35892023) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 12:39 AM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder Not really, because then you said you hadn't changed since you were 18, which is an admission that you have basically no idea what the life you want to take is really about (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35892061) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:11 PM Author: supple mint mad cow disease theater The relationship-healthy ones are off the dating market by now
http://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955566&mc=13&forum_id=2 |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:12 PM Author: mauve business firm mental disorder Wrong (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35891653) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:20 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration this is good stuff man
i will post in your thread. keep up good work. |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 12:43 AM Author: stimulating boiling water Well for me it's been a little over 2 years, 300+ matches, 0 dates - I think because I realize there's no chance of a connection. I just can't care about meeting up with some app girl. Yet I swipe away, every day. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35892086) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 3:07 AM Author: mind-boggling senate lets delete the apps for each other dtp (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35892741) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 10:28 AM Author: swashbuckling shitlib set (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35893345) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 12:34 PM Author: dark shivering internal respiration it's a simulation created just to torture me (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956155&forum_id=2#35893884) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 1:03 PM Author: swashbuckling shitlib set This is the wrong way to look at it.
There is no central actor harming you, any more than there's a central authority dictating the price of silver. Rather, everybody is out there selfishly but not maliciously doing the best to maximize their own happiness. Hundreds of thousands of individuals have each gained happiness by choosing to not have you in their life, but it's not about you directly.
HTH. |