how do you end interviews
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Poast new message in this thread
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Date: May 16th, 2018 1:49 PM Author: henna dopamine
"Look, let's be honest: In one year's time, I'll be on my path of upward ascent through the ranks of this storied institution and you'll be on a sympathy-inducing deflated balloon groundspiral involving alcoholism, a partially unwanted fourth pregnancy, and deteriorating performance reviews. In five years' time, you'll be out of here and onto some pseudo-self-fulfilling personal entrepreneurial adventure comprised of selling trinkets to mushbrains through dropshipping to iconic locales like Tuscaloosa and New Orien, and I'll be running the shop. Running. The. Shop. I'm sorry. I really am. But let's go beyond the pleasantries and formalities and just accept things for the way they are: I breathe excellence; you inhibit it. You don't have the fire in you and, if you're frank with yourself, you never have. At least not since that abandonment when you were seven. You've never recovered from that, have you Roger? You remember his last glance, don't you? It keeps you up and night; it's in your mind's eye during your waking hours. We've all been there. I'm not trying to be malicious. Consider this a friendly point of intervention smuggled into the quotidian process of interviewing for a job in a postpostmodern capitalist society on the brink. Go do something with your life. Something you're passionate about. Something that gets you out of bed in the morning and puts you on the pillow at night with a smile on your lips and gives you cherubic sun-dappled images of your family and success and meaningful life trajectory for your dreams. You weren't meant for this and never were; I was born into it. Are we done? Let me answer my own question: we're done. And, yes, I accept the position. Now get the fuck out of my new office."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3978363&forum_id=2#36062565) |
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Date: May 16th, 2018 1:44 PM Author: sepia apoplectic space
Never EVER run out of questions. You dont end the interview, they do.
Come in with some stock questions and discussion topics and try to drop them in as they come up. I get good results with:
Tell me about working here, how do you like it? Whats best whats not so great? Do you live nearby, how is the commute, how is traffic (also opens door to discussing neighborhoods and real eatate, always a hit); what sort ofnperson are you looking for, what are some concerns you have about job/ apllicants/ company (asking negatives about company is hit or miss, feel them out some like it and some do not).
If its in their office look for stuff that shows an jnterest and ask about it. Look up their profile and ask about anything interesting like working abroad, volunteer activities, etc. If you have similar interests always, always bring it up.
This is my 100% aspie if/then flowchart to a successful interview.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3978363&forum_id=2#36062526) |
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Date: May 17th, 2018 1:12 AM Author: erotic brunch
"Never EVER run out of questions."
cr. my go-to questions include,
"Where do you get your dog groomed at?"
"Can you tell I use an electric razor?"
"How long do you typically like to shower for?"
"Weren't iPods crazy?"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3978363&forum_id=2#36067026) |
Date: May 16th, 2018 4:29 PM Author: Hilarious alpha tanning salon
ljl at the cabal of aspies on this stupid site. reading this thread is painful.
when you run out of questions, you ask if they have any questions for you, and when they're done, you ask if they have any reservations about your fit or ability to do the job
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3978363&forum_id=2#36063701) |
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Date: May 16th, 2018 4:33 PM Author: Flickering garnet organic girlfriend
I don't like that last q. They always are like "uh, you seem knowledgeable but... um, there's the whole fit and personality thing... We'll be in touch and good luck." Sometimes they mention sandpaper for some reason. I always ask "fit into what" but never get an answer.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3978363&forum_id=2#36063723)
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Date: May 16th, 2018 10:01 PM Author: vigorous theater pisswyrm
"So are we doin' this or not?"
*beady eyes narrow*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3978363&forum_id=2#36065837) |
Date: May 16th, 2018 11:03 PM Author: Plum Diverse Jap Twinkling Uncleanness
*drop mic*
At least I will go down as a president
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3978363&forum_id=2#36066369) |
Date: May 17th, 2018 1:25 AM Author: charismatic knife
I ask them if I can do a dramatic rendition of a movie scene. They almost never say no.
After that, I have a few go-to's. From Glengarry Glen Ross, Robocop, Pulp Fiction, Shawshank Redemption, Requiem for a Dream, Kids, and this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_W4Gi5h9P8
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3978363&forum_id=2#36067060) |
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Date: May 24th, 2018 10:16 AM Author: lime stain
DESCRIBE.
I just had one where I interviewed with two people separately. They both, at the end, asked if I had any questions. After I asked two questions of each, both made it subtly clear they really didn't want any more questions (first one: "anything else?" while putting away her paperwork and getting ready to stand up; second one: closes her folder, says, "well, we plan on making a decision pretty soon; here's my card.").
i actually kind of liked it, in the sense that it was they weren't looking to see what kind of bullshit questions you had prepared, which differs from the majority of interviews i've had in my life.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3978363&forum_id=2#36117957) |
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Date: May 24th, 2018 10:31 AM Author: lime stain
agreed.
it's natural, especially for we hyper-conscious xo types, to obsess over everything that could have gone better or we could have done differently in job interviews after they are over.
we forget, though, how awful so many people are at interviews. it's pretty unlikely the competition had perfect interviews, either.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3978363&forum_id=2#36118084) |
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