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Midlevels who "add value" by stripping every semi-colorful line from a brief

Let's bash these TTTs.
fighting hell roast beef
  05/18/18
you misspelled "local counsel" can't count the ...
marvelous crotch
  05/18/18
LJL at these cucks. Real alpha trial lawyers submit briefs t...
fighting hell roast beef
  05/18/18
cr
marvelous crotch
  05/18/18
Also call the deponent a dumb son of a bitch and flip the ta...
glittery buff theatre international law enforcement agency
  05/18/18
180
cowardly headpube point
  05/19/18
not flame; that was the first attorney who netted over 1 bil...
glittery buff theatre international law enforcement agency
  05/19/18
lol @ the sand in your vagina. Local counsel used to pra...
motley senate sneaky criminal
  05/18/18
how's wilmington and that's why the judge knows he's a pu...
marvelous crotch
  05/18/18
If the local counsel was any good he would be an alpha shitl...
fighting hell roast beef
  05/18/18
...
Exciting startled turdskin
  05/18/18
Tell that to guys making $3 million a year with Wilmington c...
Chocolate razzmatazz halford rigor
  05/18/18
This is pretty unique to DE though. Wish my bar was as prote...
bistre jet-lagged stead gunner
  05/19/18
Who says he isn't Shitlaw King?
motley senate sneaky criminal
  05/18/18
those lines in your "alpha brief" are cringeworthy...
Puce adventurous institution
  05/18/18
Midlevel who billed 4.2 (at $750 per-hour) to make the brief...
fighting hell roast beef
  05/18/18
the most effective briefs are understated. if the opposition...
Puce adventurous institution
  05/18/18
I 100% agree. The midlevels I'm talking are doing things lik...
fighting hell roast beef
  05/18/18
Why the fuck is local counsel doing anything with your brief...
Exciting startled turdskin
  05/18/18
The clerks eagerly gathered round the screen, to see what Sa...
Chocolate razzmatazz halford rigor
  05/18/18
lol
Exciting startled turdskin
  05/18/18
Well. . .when you put it that way.
Bisexual magical juggernaut half-breed
  05/18/18
180
Racy native
  05/18/18
...
impertinent church
  05/18/18
The three judges of the Kentucky 41st Circuit Court sat on w...
fighting hell roast beef
  05/18/18
...
dashing godawful gay wizard
  05/19/18
*slow clap begins*
bistre jet-lagged stead gunner
  05/19/18
180
swollen clown market
  05/19/18
180
swashbuckling vengeful cumskin
  05/19/18
It has been my life's honor to 180 this post
bonkers hairy legs faggot firefighter
  05/19/18
...
drunken charismatic address
  05/19/18
...
navy alpha boltzmann
  05/19/18
...
Orange Vigorous Mother
  05/19/18
...
Concupiscible Chapel
  05/19/18
...
Diverse meetinghouse
  05/19/18
great we're going to double post now
marvelous crotch
  05/18/18
DE adding VALUE
swashbuckling vengeful cumskin
  05/18/18
board is breaking, but what was in there was that judges don...
marvelous crotch
  05/18/18
cr
motley senate sneaky criminal
  05/18/18
And one thing that people who haven't clerked is that you ar...
fighting hell roast beef
  05/18/18
Actual faggot with colorful briefs
Electric adulterous business firm factory reset button
  05/18/18
I like colorful briefs. I like to put in some fancy words e...
cocky ticket booth boistinker
  05/18/18
(retard who writes colorful briefs)
dashing godawful gay wizard
  05/19/18
one of my law school internship supervisors who seemed chill...
violent citrine famous landscape painting ape
  05/19/18
I love a good attention grabbing line or two especially in t...
maize aromatic kitty
  05/19/18
...
drunken charismatic address
  05/19/18
...
Orange Vigorous Mother
  05/19/18


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:22 PM
Author: fighting hell roast beef

Let's bash these TTTs.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078237)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:25 PM
Author: marvelous crotch

you misspelled "local counsel"

can't count the number of times i've written an alpha brief, my firm approves it, then i send it to local for filing and they say "mmmm, judge faggot doesn't care for lines like this" and strikes it.

other side of course has offices in Wilmington, Marshall, San Jose, etc. and doesn't have these castrations, so their alpha brief goes through and wins

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078252)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:35 PM
Author: fighting hell roast beef

LJL at these cucks. Real alpha trial lawyers submit briefs that call the other side lying assholes on page 1 and win.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078341)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:37 PM
Author: marvelous crotch

cr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078354)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:40 PM
Author: glittery buff theatre international law enforcement agency

Also call the deponent a dumb son of a bitch and flip the table https://youtu.be/ZIxmrvbMeKc?t=103

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078380)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 11:10 AM
Author: cowardly headpube point

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083612)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 11:56 AM
Author: glittery buff theatre international law enforcement agency

not flame; that was the first attorney who netted over 1 bil lifetime solely practicing tort law

http://www.abajournal.com/magazine/article/joe_jamail

“Today’s law schools teach students how not to get emotionally involved in their cases,” he says. “That’s bullshit. If you are not emotionally involved, your client is not getting your best effort.”

While Jamail’s tongue has swayed many juries and judges, it has also gotten him into trouble. In Novem­ber 1993, Jamail was defending his friend and client, Pennzoil Corp. Chairman J. Hugh Liedtke, in a lawsuit regarding the takeover of Para­mount Communications Inc., of which Liedtke was an outside director. During the deposition, Jamail called a lawyer representing QVC Network Inc. an “asshole” and said his deposition skills could “gag a maggot off a meat wagon.”

The Delaware Supreme Court reprimanded Jamail, calling his conduct “an astonishing lack of professionalism and civility.” Jamail told Texas Lawyer reporter Brenda Sapino Jeffreys on the day the court issued its opinion, “I’d rather have a nose on my ass than go back to Delaware for any reason.”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083859)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:37 PM
Author: motley senate sneaky criminal

lol @ the sand in your vagina.

Local counsel used to practice with local Judge in the county prosecutor's office years ago and goes to church with him.

lol @ some lawcuck questioning why he raped his "alpha brief"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078352)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:39 PM
Author: marvelous crotch

how's wilmington

and that's why the judge knows he's a pussy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078365)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:40 PM
Author: fighting hell roast beef

If the local counsel was any good he would be an alpha shitlaw king instead of getting dadded around by nebbish biglawyers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078379)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:46 PM
Author: Exciting startled turdskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078445)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 3:05 PM
Author: Chocolate razzmatazz halford rigor

Tell that to guys making $3 million a year with Wilmington cost of living.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078578)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 10:51 AM
Author: bistre jet-lagged stead gunner

This is pretty unique to DE though. Wish my bar was as protectionist.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083528)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 3:27 PM
Author: motley senate sneaky criminal

Who says he isn't Shitlaw King?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078760)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:42 PM
Author: Puce adventurous institution

those lines in your "alpha brief" are cringeworthy and counterproductive. LOL @ thinking your petulant little footnotes do anything other than make the reader roll their eyes and turn the page. Just make your fucking points clearly and concisely, no one gives a fuck about your snarky barbs.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078399)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:46 PM
Author: fighting hell roast beef

Midlevel who billed 4.2 (at $750 per-hour) to make the brief worse.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078434)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:51 PM
Author: Puce adventurous institution

the most effective briefs are understated. if the opposition is really THAT dipshit retarded, it should be very easy to carefully dismantle their arguments without hyperventilating about how absurd their position is.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078485)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 3:01 PM
Author: fighting hell roast beef

I 100% agree. The midlevels I'm talking are doing things like taking out a perfectly apt word and replacing it with a mushy phrase that has 75% of the meaning and none of the impact. Some of the really bad ones are doing nonsense like making 200-word anaconda sentences because they heard you shouldn't begin one with a preposition.

These are all things that stay in the brief if you submit it directly to the partner.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078547)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 3:02 PM
Author: Exciting startled turdskin

Why the fuck is local counsel doing anything with your brief or substantive motion? That's not their job. They're there to serve the brief upon the courthouse in whatever manner the local barbarian tribes follow, delivering its glorylight to the heathens that they may imbued with the scholarship of the Great Seat of the Law. "This bears the mark of 4 Times Square"--silence fills the rusticated courthouse on the heralded announcement, eyes downcast lest they offend as the local signet of the Great House strides through the barnyard doors. "Tremble, all ye who look up their mighty works."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078551)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 3:07 PM
Author: Chocolate razzmatazz halford rigor

The clerks eagerly gathered round the screen, to see what Savitt hath wrought!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078597)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 3:21 PM
Author: Exciting startled turdskin

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078722)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 3:28 PM
Author: Bisexual magical juggernaut half-breed

Well. . .when you put it that way.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078771)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 3:44 PM
Author: Racy native

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078878)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 3:59 PM
Author: impertinent church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078958)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 4:57 PM
Author: fighting hell roast beef

The three judges of the Kentucky 41st Circuit Court sat on weathered rocking chairs, sipping bourbon and swapping stories. The whitewashed brick of the Circuit Court lay behind them; ahead of them, the sun inched closer to the mountain.

Judge Smith, newly appointed and unsure of himself, filled the silence. "What do you think of those Shook Hardy Kansas City lawyers we had in here on that Phillip Morris case. They sure were fancy: so smooth, so prepared."

"That's nothing," Judge Morris said, face ruddy and with his ample belly straining against his brown vest, "Back in 1990 we had a bunch of folks from Wilmer Cutler in here for the Stoney mine collapse case. Their oral arguments would sing like sweet bluegrass coming up from the holler."

Judge Alfred Lawrence Jones III, a thin and stately man of 97 years, stirred for the first time. The other two Judges quieted. He rarely spoke anymore.

"You know nothing about real lawyering. In 1937, when I was an errand boy at this courthouse, I saw Paul Cravath argue a trial on behalf of an heiress who was into some bad business with a land speculator. He was an old man then, and in bad health. He would cough into his handkerchief and seize his chest every few hours. But when he spoke, everyone in the courtroom listened like God the father himself was speaking."

"Everyone turned out for the trial. Even the debutantes from Louisville came to town to see the great Mr. Cravath. The ladies loved him. Now women weren't seated on juries back then, but if they had been, you can bet that those land speculator's would have thrown a fit."

"Now when the arguments were finished, the jury came back in about 15 minutes. That didn't catch anyone off guard. Even the land speculators had tears in their eyes when old Mr. Cravath gave his closing argument."

"Before they could deliver the verdict, Mr. Cravath stood up and addressed the court: 'Your honor, I didn't begin this practice so that I could win cases on the basis of celebrity. Would you please tell these gentleman to go back into that room and think about the evidence in this case for a little bit longer.' And with that, everyone in that courtroom knew that they had seen something they would never forget."

As Judge Jones finished his story, he shrank a little in his chair, as if lighter from the weight of the tale. The men sat in silence as the sun passed behind the peak of Sugarloaf Mountain and bathed the valley in twilight.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36079469)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 10:47 AM
Author: dashing godawful gay wizard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083517)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 10:55 AM
Author: bistre jet-lagged stead gunner

*slow clap begins*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083544)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 11:02 AM
Author: swollen clown market

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083575)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 11:20 AM
Author: swashbuckling vengeful cumskin

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 11:28 AM
Author: bonkers hairy legs faggot firefighter

It has been my life's honor to 180 this post

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083703)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: drunken charismatic address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083818)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 11:56 AM
Author: navy alpha boltzmann



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083861)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 11:56 AM
Author: Orange Vigorous Mother



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083863)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 12:17 PM
Author: Concupiscible Chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083959)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 10:49 AM
Author: Diverse meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083522)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:25 PM
Author: marvelous crotch

great we're going to double post now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078255)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:26 PM
Author: swashbuckling vengeful cumskin

DE adding VALUE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078260)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:26 PM
Author: marvelous crotch

board is breaking, but what was in there was that judges don't decide anything, clerks do. clerks are just alpha bros coasting and think that shit rules

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078271)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:38 PM
Author: motley senate sneaky criminal

cr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078355)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 2:38 PM
Author: fighting hell roast beef

And one thing that people who haven't clerked is that you are literally competing for attention with all of the other briefs. You don't get a scheduled time slot where the clerk will read your schlop. They will read your boring as fuck "Comes now Lord Faggot for Who Gives a Fuck Insurance and Casualty..." intro and throw that shit in the trash. If you can write something better than dreck piling up in the clerk's cave, you will get substantially more attention to your motion.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078361)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 3:08 PM
Author: Electric adulterous business firm factory reset button

Actual faggot with colorful briefs

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078607)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 18th, 2018 3:46 PM
Author: cocky ticket booth boistinker

I like colorful briefs. I like to put in some fancy words every now and then, just to lighten things up a bit, for fun and scholarship

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36078886)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 10:45 AM
Author: dashing godawful gay wizard

(retard who writes colorful briefs)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083506)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 10:47 AM
Author: violent citrine famous landscape painting ape

one of my law school internship supervisors who seemed chill got very upset with me once over this and blasted a lengthy screed into my inbox about why I could not refer to the large amount of favorable precedent as a "bevy"

seemed very mentally ill

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083515)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 11:31 AM
Author: maize aromatic kitty

I love a good attention grabbing line or two especially in the intro but most lawyers mistake histrionics for attention grabbing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083727)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 11:51 AM
Author: drunken charismatic address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36083824)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 12:52 PM
Author: Orange Vigorous Mother



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980439&forum_id=2#36084107)