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Science: classical music is toxic to blacks

https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/bach-at-the-burger-king/...
Rebellious stain fat ankles
  05/19/18
I fucking love science
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  05/19/18
...
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  05/19/18
...
Buck-toothed Milk
  05/20/18
...
Swashbuckling pearly abode mood
  05/19/18
...
Carmine Shrine Philosopher-king
  05/19/18
...
Buck-toothed Milk
  05/19/18
180^180
opaque halford ticket booth
  05/19/18
lol
Coiffed provocative codepig
  05/19/18
cool
lemon offensive dingle berry nursing home
  05/19/18
"acoustic thugicide"
Maize rehab elastic band
  05/19/18
"tasteful ways to displace the destitute" thi...
Beady-eyed apoplectic dilemma fanboi
  05/19/18
180 billion
cracking jap jewess
  05/19/18
Bach = too many notes fo' dem monkey brains
Beady-eyed apoplectic dilemma fanboi
  05/19/18
Dat too.many harmony!
orchid native
  05/19/18
...
Aphrodisiac toaster
  05/19/18
*counterpoint
Comical plaza legend
  05/19/18
...
histrionic trailer park
  05/20/18
lol
hairless henna stage
  05/19/18
halfway thru and still can't believe it's not The Onion. ...
Costumed gas station
  05/19/18
why does the article take a negative tone toward this practi...
Maize rehab elastic band
  05/19/18
because the guy is a classical music snob. he thinks it is a...
Coiffed provocative codepig
  05/19/18
Music should bring people together not cement class hierarch...
dark piazza
  05/19/18
because the use of classical music to scare off homeless is ...
doobsian trip locale
  06/12/20
stevesailer 13 hours ago My vague impression is that hones...
Pink School Immigrant
  05/19/18
...
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Aphrodisiac toaster
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lol
Multi-colored Cerise Theater
  05/19/18
not xo sailer because he didn't mention Bach's effects on go...
Irate Double Fault Weed Whacker
  05/19/18
...
Mustard hospital queen of the night
  05/21/18
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Splenetic patrolman
  06/12/20
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up-to-no-good at-the-ready space idiot
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Hot Point
  08/13/23
the author sure likes alliteration.
Coiffed provocative codepig
  05/19/18
noticed this too, incredibly obnoxious and juvenile writing
opaque halford ticket booth
  05/20/18
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Insanely Creepy Walnut Toilet Seat
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itt, bemused whitey contemplates his superiority, gathers th...
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"This tactic was suggested by a cryptic organization ca...
Pale ladyboy
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This is the most 1800000000 thing ever. Rina would be proud ...
Underhanded Slimy Brunch Yarmulke
  05/19/18
oh, so it is still possible to write an interesting article.
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...
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...
Rebellious stain fat ankles
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...
painfully honest kitty
  05/19/18
so THIS is how Panera always managed to keep blacks/homeless...
razzle bearded cruise ship
  05/19/18
We all know what happens when one accidentally wanders in. ...
Sexy set travel guidebook
  05/20/18
...
Buck-toothed Milk
  05/21/18
...
bright hall
  06/12/20
...
turquoise hell
  08/13/23
lol like sunlight to the zombies in I Am Legend
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  05/19/18
Reginald Dillard Sr. says he's had to move from sleeping acr...
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180
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...
Rebellious stain fat ankles
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Just loling @ the image of two niggers trying to go at it wh...
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  05/19/18
now imagine yakkety sax
umber exhilarant property puppy
  05/20/18
...
Mustard hospital queen of the night
  05/21/18
"These supra-civic services seem to consist primarily o...
salmon stag film macaca
  05/20/18
...
painfully honest kitty
  05/20/18
reminds me of the high-pitched tones that only younger peopl...
Racy High-end Locus
  05/20/18
Sounds like homeless/poor people look for indicators of plac...
Shimmering death wish electric furnace
  05/20/18
I wonder which genre is most conducive to degeneracy.
salmon stag film macaca
  05/20/18
Bracing for the SLEW of "Why Are We Still Pretending To...
talented godawful private investor
  05/20/18
...
Comical plaza legend
  05/20/18
sigh, ok, here's the fucking links https://scapimag.com/2...
Mind-boggling Cowardly Parlor Indirect Expression
  05/20/18
lol at the guys pic at the bottom of the 1st one
self-centered jet scourge upon the earth giraffe
  05/20/18
author of the 2d seems legitimately mentally ill. Going arou...
Adventurous faggotry
  05/21/18
lol jfc
Mustard hospital queen of the night
  05/21/18
lmao libs
bright hall
  06/12/20
and hard rap scatters shit boomers
Autistic area
  05/20/18
...
histrionic trailer park
  05/20/18
Then how did we get jazz music.
Fuchsia library masturbator
  05/20/18
I'm gonna guess jazz doesn't have the same effect on minorit...
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  05/20/18
...
Irate Double Fault Weed Whacker
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Rebellious stain fat ankles
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Lol how incredibly patronizing to blacks. White liberals tre...
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Then the idea spread to West Palm Beach, Florida, where in 2...
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  05/01/20
The next level of technology will be ShotSpotter retrofitted...
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  05/01/20
Honestly seems like a cr way to deal with lib encampments.
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  06/12/20
...
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  06/12/20
(Antifa slips Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring into soundtr...
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AT THE CORNER of 8th and Market in San Francisco, by a shutt...
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  08/13/23
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have anogenital distance scientists made a top 10 playlist o...
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Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 3:36 AM
Author: Rebellious stain fat ankles

https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/bach-at-the-burger-king/#!

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Bach at the Burger King

By Theodore Gioia

MAY 17, 2018

AT THE CORNER of 8th and Market in San Francisco, by a shuttered subway escalator outside a Burger King, an unusual soundtrack plays. A beige speaker, mounted atop a tall window, blasts Baroque harpsichord at deafening volumes. The music never stops. Night and day, Bach, Mozart, and Vivaldi rain down from Burger King rooftops onto empty streets.

Empty streets, however, are the target audience for this concert. The playlist has been selected to repel sidewalk listeners — specifically, the mid-Market homeless who once congregated outside the restaurant doors that served as a neighborhood hub for the indigent. Outside the BART escalator, an encampment of grocery carts, sleeping bags, and plastic tarmacs had evolved into a sidewalk shantytown attracting throngs of squatters and street denizens. “There used to be a mob that would hang out there,” remarked local resident David Allen, “and now there may be just one or two people.” When I passed the corner, the only sign of life I found was a trembling woman crouched on the pavement, head in hand, as classical harpsichord besieged her ears.

This tactic was suggested by a cryptic organization called the Central Market Community Benefit District, a nonprofit collective of neighborhood property owners whose mission statement strikes an Orwellian note: “The CMCBD makes the Central Market area a safer, more attractive, more desirable place to work, live, shop, locate a business and own property by delivering services beyond those the City of San Francisco can provide.” These supra-civic services seem to consist primarily of finding tasteful ways to displace the destitute.

The inspiration for the Burger King plan, a CMCBD official commented, came from the London Underground. In 2005, the metro system started playing orchestral soundtracks in 65 tube stations as part of a scheme to deter “anti-social” behavior, after the surprising success of a 2003 pilot program. The pilot’s remarkable results — seeing train robberies fall 33 percent, verbal assaults on staff drop 25 percent, and vandalism decrease 37 percent after just 18 months of classical music — caught the eye of the global law-enforcement community. Thus, an international phenomenon was born. Since then, weaponized classical music has spread throughout England and the world: police units across the planet now deploy the string quartet as the latest addition to their crime-fighting arsenal, recruiting Officer Johann Sebastian as the newest member of the force.

Experts trace the practice’s origins back to a drowsy 7-Eleven in British Columbia in 1985, where some clever Canadian manager played Mozart outside the store to repel parking-lot loiterers. Mozart-in-the-Parking-Lot was so successful at discouraging teenage reprobates that 7-Eleven implemented the program at over 150 stores, becoming the first company to battle vandalism with the viola. Then the idea spread to West Palm Beach, Florida, where in 2001 the police confronted a drug-ridden street corner by installing a loudspeaker booming Beethoven and Mozart. “The officers were amazed when at 10 o’clock at night there was not a soul on the corner,” remarked Detective Dena Kimberlin. Soon other police departments “started calling.” From that point, the tactic — now codified as an official maneuver in the Polite Policeman’s Handbook — exploded in popularity for both private companies and public institutions. Over the last decade, symphonic security has swept across the globe as a standard procedure from Australia to Alaska.

Today, deterrence through classical music is de rigueur for American transit systems. Transportation hubs from coast to coast play classical music for protective purposes. Brahms bounces through bus stops and baggage claims. Travelers buy Amtrak tickets to Baroque Muzak at Penn Station; Schubert scherzos grace the Greyhound waiting area in New York’s Port Authority Bus Terminal; Handel’s Water Music willows over the platforms of Atlanta’s MARTA subway system. Beyond big cities, the tactic extends to small towns and suburbs across the continent. In Duncan, British Columbia, Pavarotti’s tenor tones patrol the public park dispersing late-night hooligans, while the Lynchburg Library in Virginia clears its parking lot with a playlist highlighted by such scintillating soundtracks as Mozart for Monday Mornings and A Baroque Diet. In the most dramatic account of concerto crime-fighting, the Columbus, Ohio, YMCA reportedly dissolved a sidewalk brawl between two drug dealers simply by flipping on Vivaldi’s Four Seasons.

Baroque music seems to make the most potent repellant. “[D]espite a few assertive, late-Romantic exceptions like Mussorgsky and Rachmaninoff,” notes critic Scott Timberg, “the music used to scatter hoodlums is pre-Romantic, by Baroque or Classical-era composers such as Vivaldi or Mozart.” Public administrators seldom speculate on the underlying reasons why the music is so effective but often tout the results with a certain pugnacious pride. As a Cleveland official explained, “There’s something about Baroque music that macho wannabe-gangster types hate.” The police chief of Tacoma, Washington, echoed the same logic (and the same phrasing): “By playing classical music, we hope to create an unpleasant environment for criminals and gangster-wannabes.” One London subway observer voiced the punitive mindset behind the strategy in bluntest terms: “These juvenile delinquents are saying ‘Well, we can either stand here and listen to what we regard as this absolute rubbish, or our alternative — we can, you know, take our delinquency elsewhere.’”

¤

Take your delinquency elsewhere could be the subtext under every tune in the classical crime-fighting movement. It is crucial to remember that the tactic does not aim to stop or even necessarily reduce crime — but to relocate it. Moreover, such mercenary measures most often target minor infractions like vandalism and loitering — crimes that damage property, not people, and usually the property of the powerful. “[B]usiness and government leaders,” Lily Hirsch observes in Music in American Crime Prevention and Punishment, “are seizing on classical music not as a positive moralizing force, but as a marker of space.” In a strange mutation, classical music devolves from a “universal language of mankind” reminding all people of their common humanity into a sonic border fence protecting privileged areas from common crowds, telling the plebes in auditory code that “you’re not welcome here.”

So our metaphor for music’s power must change from panacea to punishment, from unifying to separating force, as its purpose slips from aesthetic or spiritual ennoblement into economic relocation. Mozart has traded in a career as doctor for the soul to become an eviction agent for the poor.

Thus music returns to its oldest evolutionary function: claiming territory. Zoological research suggests that the original function of birdsong was not only attracting mates (as Darwin argued) but also asserting territorial rights. Experiments have demonstrated that birds usually refrain from entering regions where they hear recorded birdsong playing. These aggressive aspects of avian song extended to early humans. Primatologist Thomas Geissman speculates: “[E]arly hominid music may also have served functions resembling those of ape loud calls […] including territorial advertisement; intergroup intimidation and spacing.” The songs have changed, but the melody is the same — Warning: Private Property. Music carves public space into private territory, signaling certain areas are off limits to certain groups through orchestral “intimidation.” And no genre carries more intimidating upper-class associations than classical music.

The triumph of this symphonic segregation, however, suggests a larger defeat for classical music. We all know that music affects people below the level of active thought, whispering, if you will, to our unconscious mind. Marshaling the inhospitable associations of classical music as a gentrifying force risks further souring the public’s default attitude toward the art form from indifference to avoidance. In all likelihood, the orchestral intimidation strategy succeeds in driving away not only crowds of potential vagrants but also generations of potential audiences. Classical music may now discourage juvenile delinquents and juvenile devotees alike. It deters both loitering and listening.

Perhaps we once heard the strains of eternity in the symphonic classics. “Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony,” E. M. Forster beamed, “is the most sublime noise that has ever penetrated into the ear of man.” But when one hears Beethoven by loudspeaker on the Burger King sidewalk, the melody feels less like a summons to the sublime than an ugly reminder to “move along.”

¤

Weaponized classical music is just the next step in the commodification of the genre. Today, most young people encounter classical music not as a popular art form but as a class signifier, a set of tropes in a larger system of encoded communication that commercial enterprises have exploited to remap our societal associations with orchestral sound. Decades of cultural conditioning have trained the public to identify the symphony as sonic shorthand for social status — and, by extension, exclusion from that status. The average American does not recognize the opening chords of The Four Seasons as the sound of spring but the sound of snobbery. On screen, Baroque is the background music for Old Money, High Society, and condescension. In essence, its music is not meant to be appreciated, but associated — and those associations are overwhelmingly elitist.

Once classical music was a welcome part of popular culture, famous enough to be parodied. Bugs Bunny spoofed The Barber of Seville; the defining trait of Peanuts pianist Schroeder was his admiration for Beethoven. By 2014, however, NBC’s Hannibal Lecter was butchering cadavers to Symphony No. 9 on primetime while preparing his signature recipe for osso buco. For contemporary Hollywood, classical music is the troubled calling of eccentric geniuses, precocious nine-year-olds, and registered psychopaths. Practicing the violin is a character quirk for bipolar detectives and criminal masterminds — but not a healthy habit for normal human beings. From cartoons to cannibals, our culture’s official representatives of classical music have taken a disturbing demographic shift.

In the mass-media era, the general public primarily experiences classical music through detached snippets of larger pieces extracted to lend their symbolic power to a commercial agenda. Artists and advertisers dissect classical works into short melodies — quotable passages severed from their original context — assembling a menu of musical leitmotifs to bolster their message with a desired tone, mood, or association. Like artificial flavoring for the ear, these symphonic excerpts infuse scenes with the synthetic emotion of choice. Need a touch of European elegance? Mozart will make that minivan commercial suddenly suave. Concerned a slow sequence leaves your audience snoozing? Wake them up with the “William Tell Overture” for instant adrenaline. Does your pancake promo lack punch? Reroute Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries” from Valhalla to the International House of Pancakes.

The artistic consequences of such practices are devastating. Conscripting Wagner’s Valkyries as pancake saleswomen necessarily lowers their impact at the opera house. Some pieces are quoted so often that their secondary associations overtake and cheapen the original music. Carmina Burana exists as a permanent musical cliché. Orff’s “O Fortuna” evokes only kitsch; under which circumstances can a listener now have an authentic encounter with that choral-chanting calamity?

Such a sound-bite culture negates the definitive value of classical composition: the extended development of complex musical themes. Extended musical forms allow the listener to appreciate the subtle interplay of motif and movement — and it is exactly this nuanced appreciation that quote-clipping nullifies. There is a two-part mechanism to extract and transplant a tune: detach a 15-second theme from a 45-minute symphony (where it functioned as an integrated part in an organic whole) and attach it to an alien subject. Uproot “O Fortuna” from a Latin cantata, so it can be grafted onto a Domino’s Super Bowl spot. These transplants produce jarring mashups that trigger another insidious side effect: by always quoting works out of the context the public forgets that they have a context. The spectator forgets that “O Fortuna” could be glorious in its original context because it’s absurd hyping Domino’s Pizza. In sum, in the remix media ecosystem, famous compositions degenerate from serious music into decorative sound, applied like wallpaper to lay a poignant surface over banal intentions.

A prime example of classical music’s conflicted position in our capitalist culture is Bach’s Prelude to Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major. Dubbed the “Things Just Got Classy Song” by one columnist, the two-minute composition has been deployed for an astounding array of causes. IMDB lists 73 credits, with a résumé featuring primetime mainstays Smallville and ER, ad campaigns for Healthy Choice frozen broccoli and Pedigree dog food, and big-screen flicks ranging from Elysium and The Hangover Part II to a brief cameo in Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. In a strange contrast, creative filmmakers and corporate advertisers exploit the prelude’s associations as a symbol of class status to conjure two contradictory emotions. On the one hand, movies deploy the prelude to underline the snobbish hypocrisy of the wealthy, emphasizing how the likable everyman is out of place in high society; conversely, commercials quote it to instill the shallow sales pitch with an elegant air, implicitly linking the product with the public’s inarticulate yearning for a better life. The prelude, in other words, is used simultaneously to skewer the hypocrisy of the upper class and stoke the public’s aspirations to join it.

A recent Cadillac CTS commercial even identifies Bach’s prelude by name. In the spot, a stylish couple drives down a swank street and turns on the radio. “Bach Suite No. 1 in G Major,” declares the enlightened driver — and the camera swivels to the vehicle’s interior, showing the piece’s title electronically illuminated on the dashboard. The implication, of course, is that you’re not just buying a car, but acquiring membership to an elite social class. It is an invitation to join an exclusive club, to become the type of person who recognizes Bach suites by name and number. With a few strokes of the cello, an inane car promo rises into a grand vision of a happier future: a promise of personal transformation through the power of personal shopping.

¤

Where does this leave the prelude — and, by extension, classical music? From awakening Megasharks to selling Cadillacs, Bach’s Prelude to Cello Suite No. 1 has been drafted to support many causes. But one cause it seldom supports is itself. After being pressed into the service of so many outside agendas — advertising, film, and police work — the prelude loses its identity as an independent work of art, demanding to be taken on its own terms. It is difficult for the prelude to provide any modern audience with a genuinely “pure” listening experience. This erosion is a now-common fate for popular art. Secondary associations gradually smother primary experiences. No matter how strong an individual piece, over time, Hollywood, Madison Avenue, and Market Street threaten to drain the vitality of even the greatest music until there’s nothing left. The coroner’s report: Death by quotation. After all, there are only so many times a melody can be used to harass the homeless, embellish a cannibal’s cookery, or promote the dignity of dog food before we forget it could also glorify the dignity of humanity.

¤

Theodore Gioia is a critic living in San Francisco. His work has appeared in The Believer, Los Angeles Review of Books, and Virginia Quarterly Review. He is currently writing a book on California’s changing food culture.

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36082693)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 3:41 AM
Author: Hairraiser sandwich house

I fucking love science

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36082702)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 2:20 PM
Author: grizzly disrespectful alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36084592)



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Date: May 20th, 2018 10:10 AM
Author: Buck-toothed Milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36089380)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Swashbuckling pearly abode mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083082)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Carmine Shrine Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083127)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 8:56 AM
Author: Buck-toothed Milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083138)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 8:57 AM
Author: opaque halford ticket booth

180^180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083143)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 9:03 AM
Author: Coiffed provocative codepig

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083157)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 9:11 AM
Author: lemon offensive dingle berry nursing home

cool

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083172)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 9:49 AM
Author: Maize rehab elastic band

"acoustic thugicide"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083307)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 9:51 AM
Author: Beady-eyed apoplectic dilemma fanboi

"tasteful ways to displace the destitute"

this phrase makes me DIAMOND HARD

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083312)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 9:52 AM
Author: cracking jap jewess

180 billion

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083315)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 9:53 AM
Author: Beady-eyed apoplectic dilemma fanboi

Bach = too many notes fo' dem monkey brains

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083319)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 9:58 AM
Author: orchid native

Dat too.many harmony!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083328)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 2:31 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac toaster



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36084653)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 4:26 PM
Author: Comical plaza legend

*counterpoint

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36085308)



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Date: May 20th, 2018 1:25 AM
Author: histrionic trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36088560)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 9:56 AM
Author: hairless henna stage

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083324)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 9:59 AM
Author: Costumed gas station

halfway thru and still can't believe it's not The Onion.

Baroque music seems to make the most potent repellant. “[D]espite a few assertive, late-Romantic exceptions like Mussorgsky and Rachmaninoff,” notes critic Scott Timberg, “the music used to scatter hoodlums is pre-Romantic, by Baroque or Classical-era composers such as Vivaldi or Mozart.” Public administrators seldom speculate on the underlying reasons why the music is so effective but often tout the results with a certain pugnacious pride. As a Cleveland official explained, “There’s something about Baroque music that macho wannabe-gangster types hate.” The police chief of Tacoma, Washington, echoed the same logic (and the same phrasing): “By playing classical music, we hope to create an unpleasant environment for criminals and gangster-wannabes.” One London subway observer voiced the punitive mindset behind the strategy in bluntest terms: “These juvenile delinquents are saying ‘Well, we can either stand here and listen to what we regard as this absolute rubbish, or our alternative — we can, you know, take our delinquency elsewhere.’”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083333)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 10:01 AM
Author: Maize rehab elastic band

why does the article take a negative tone toward this practice?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083339)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 10:22 AM
Author: Coiffed provocative codepig

because the guy is a classical music snob. he thinks it is a blight on cultured civilization to use classical music as a security measure and associate it with driving out riff-raff as opposed to cherishing it for its artistry.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083396)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 10:22 AM
Author: dark piazza

Music should bring people together not cement class hierarchy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083400)



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Date: June 12th, 2020 5:47 AM
Author: doobsian trip locale

because the use of classical music to scare off homeless is anti-black



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#40402457)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 10:19 AM
Author: Pink School Immigrant

stevesailer

13 hours ago

My vague impression is that honest working poor people are less averse to classical music than the criminally inclined and the derelict clearly are. I've never heard of a maid complaining because her rich employer played Bach on the stereo while she dusted. Perhaps working folks are as mortally offended by Mozart as the young punks hanging around 7-11s, but perhaps not.

Perhaps classical music is less offensive to people of good character than to people of bad character?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083391)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 10:44 AM
Author: brindle mischievous turdskin chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083501)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 10:48 AM
Author: Comical plaza legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083519)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 11:03 AM
Author: Buff exciting principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083580)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 11:17 AM
Author: hyperactive galvanic knife



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083646)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 2:32 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac toaster



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36084654)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 2:37 PM
Author: Multi-colored Cerise Theater

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36084687)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 2:55 PM
Author: Irate Double Fault Weed Whacker

not xo sailer because he didn't mention Bach's effects on golfing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36084804)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 21st, 2018 9:50 AM
Author: Mustard hospital queen of the night



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36095433)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2020 1:00 AM
Author: Splenetic patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#40401985)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2020 5:38 AM
Author: up-to-no-good at-the-ready space idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#40402454)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 13th, 2023 10:00 PM
Author: Hot Point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#46665618)



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Date: May 19th, 2018 10:23 AM
Author: Coiffed provocative codepig

the author sure likes alliteration.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083402)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 12:19 PM
Author: opaque halford ticket booth

noticed this too, incredibly obnoxious and juvenile writing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36089924)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2020 5:34 AM
Author: Insanely Creepy Walnut Toilet Seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#40402449)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 10:26 AM
Author: brindle mischievous turdskin chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083412)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 10:52 AM
Author: purple big address marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083534)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 10:53 AM
Author: nudist corner volcanic crater

itt, bemused whitey contemplates his superiority, gathers the bags of new purchases, and writes a big tip for the below average cheesecake factory waitress

not noticing the muzak playing in the background

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083535)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 10:56 AM
Author: purple big address marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083548)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 11:19 AM
Author: Learning Disabled Aromatic Center Black Woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36083654)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 1:02 PM
Author: Pale ladyboy

"This tactic was suggested by a cryptic organization called the Central Market Community Benefit District, a nonprofit collective of neighborhood property owners whose mission statement strikes an Orwellian note: “The CMCBD makes the Central Market area a safer, more attractive, more desirable place to work, live, shop, locate a business and own property by delivering services beyond those the City of San Francisco can provide.” These supra-civic services seem to consist primarily of finding tasteful ways to displace the destitute."

lmao libs what in the everloving fuck is wrong with you, running off the homeless sacred cows is "orwellian"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36084157)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 1:29 PM
Author: Underhanded Slimy Brunch Yarmulke

This is the most 1800000000 thing ever. Rina would be proud of this literal Rina-ing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36084342)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 1:38 PM
Author: hateful vermilion trust fund stage

oh, so it is still possible to write an interesting article.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36084387)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 10:04 AM
Author: Sexy set travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36089363)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 2:04 PM
Author: Rebellious stain fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36084509)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 2:26 PM
Author: painfully honest kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36084617)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 2:28 PM
Author: razzle bearded cruise ship

so THIS is how Panera always managed to keep blacks/homeless out of their locations. diabolical.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36084630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 10:04 AM
Author: Sexy set travel guidebook

We all know what happens when one accidentally wanders in.

https://i.imgur.com/KavEZ2O.gif

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36089367)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 21st, 2018 9:18 AM
Author: Buck-toothed Milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36095301)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2020 1:08 AM
Author: bright hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#40402039)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 13th, 2023 9:34 PM
Author: turquoise hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#46665509)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 2:33 PM
Author: umber exhilarant property puppy

lol like sunlight to the zombies in I Am Legend

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36084665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 2:40 PM
Author: nubile motley bawdyhouse jew

Reginald Dillard Sr. says he's had to move from sleeping across the street at the library.

"For people who do live on the street for whatever reason, this can be very distracting, keep people up at night," Dillard, who had to move his sleeping spot across the street, told ABC 7 News.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36084704)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 2:43 PM
Author: insane background story theater stage

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36084723)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 4:22 PM
Author: Rebellious stain fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36085292)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 19th, 2018 4:30 PM
Author: boyish milky antidepressant drug

Just loling @ the image of two niggers trying to go at it while a harpsichord titters away in the background.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36085325)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 12:49 AM
Author: umber exhilarant property puppy

now imagine yakkety sax

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36088399)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 21st, 2018 9:52 AM
Author: Mustard hospital queen of the night



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36095447)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 12:37 AM
Author: salmon stag film macaca

"These supra-civic services seem to consist primarily of finding tasteful ways to displace the destitute."

Is there money in that?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36088343)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 12:39 AM
Author: painfully honest kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36088354)



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Date: May 20th, 2018 12:50 AM
Author: Racy High-end Locus

reminds me of the high-pitched tones that only younger people can detect. i think they use them in London.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36088407)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 12:54 AM
Author: Shimmering death wish electric furnace

Sounds like homeless/poor people look for indicators of places that are "safe" for their behavior before they settle in. Something about classical music makes them feel like spaces aren't for them so they go somewhere else.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36088421)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 1:07 AM
Author: salmon stag film macaca

I wonder which genre is most conducive to degeneracy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36088473)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 1:10 AM
Author: talented godawful private investor

Bracing for the SLEW of "Why Are We Still Pretending To Like Obsolete, Overlong Music Written By Dead White Males?" lib blog thinkpieces spewed out in response to this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36088483)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 1:11 AM
Author: Comical plaza legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36088488)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 6:34 AM
Author: Mind-boggling Cowardly Parlor Indirect Expression

sigh, ok, here's the fucking links

https://scapimag.com/2018/02/18/classical-musics-white-male-supremacy-is-overt-pervasive-and-a-problem/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/act-four/wp/2018/04/18/what-the-classical-music-world-can-learn-from-kendrick-lamars-pulitzer-prize/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36089004)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 10:09 AM
Author: self-centered jet scourge upon the earth giraffe

lol at the guys pic at the bottom of the 1st one

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36089378)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 21st, 2018 9:44 AM
Author: Adventurous faggotry

author of the 2d seems legitimately mentally ill. Going around picking fights on facebook about the "privilege, white supremacy, homophobia, toxic masculinity, and gender normativity" inherent in classical music.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36095394)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 21st, 2018 9:56 AM
Author: Mustard hospital queen of the night

lol jfc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36095469)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2020 1:10 AM
Author: bright hall

lmao libs

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#40402041)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 1:19 AM
Author: Autistic area

and hard rap scatters shit boomers

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36088535)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 1:21 AM
Author: histrionic trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36088543)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 6:35 AM
Author: Fuchsia library masturbator

Then how did we get jazz music.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36089005)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 6:55 AM
Author: lime self-absorbed hunting ground

I'm gonna guess jazz doesn't have the same effect on minorities

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36089017)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 9:58 AM
Author: Irate Double Fault Weed Whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36089347)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 20th, 2018 10:07 AM
Author: Buck-toothed Milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36089374)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 21st, 2018 9:14 AM
Author: boyish milky antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36095282)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 2nd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Rebellious stain fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#36351385)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 15th, 2018 11:41 PM
Author: Marvelous lake kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#37242841)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2020 12:35 PM
Author: Rebellious stain fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#40129315)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2020 12:37 PM
Author: arrogant bistre affirmative action garrison

Lol how incredibly patronizing to blacks. White liberals treat them like zoo animals.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#40129323)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2020 12:38 PM
Author: Massive jade pit

Then the idea spread to West Palm Beach, Florida, where in 2001 the police confronted a drug-ridden street corner by installing a loudspeaker booming Beethoven and Mozart. “The officers were amazed when at 10 o’clock at night there was not a soul on the corner,” remarked Detective Dena Kimberlin."

this happened on Tamarind Ave which is 100% nig, but they also installed ShotSpot which traces gunshots within 50 feet triangulations. so, hard to tell which was more of the cause.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#40129326)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2020 12:39 PM
Author: excitant pisswyrm

The next level of technology will be ShotSpotter retrofitted with speakers BLARING Classical music in the middle of the ghetto

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#40129335)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2020 12:57 AM
Author: lime self-absorbed hunting ground

Honestly seems like a cr way to deal with lib encampments.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#40401965)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2020 6:24 AM
Author: floppy silver ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#40402482)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2020 8:08 AM
Author: wonderful garnet lay

(Antifa slips Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring into soundtrack)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#40402622)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 12th, 2020 8:09 AM
Author: floppy silver ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3980992&forum_id=2#40402628)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 13th, 2023 9:20 PM
Author: lime self-absorbed hunting ground

AT THE CORNER of 8th and Market in San Francisco, by a shuttered subway escalator outside a Burger King, an unusual soundtrack plays. A beige speaker, mounted atop a tall window, blasts Baroque harpsichord at deafening volumes. The music never stops. Night and day, Bach, Mozart, and Vivaldi rain down from Burger King rooftops onto empty streets.

Empty streets, however, are the target audience for this concert. The playlist has been selected to repel sidewalk listeners — specifically, the mid-Market homeless who once congregated outside the restaurant doors that served as a neighborhood hub for the indigent. Outside the BART escalator, an encampment of grocery carts, sleeping bags, and plastic tarmacs had evolved into a sidewalk shantytown attracting throngs of squatters and street denizens. “There used to be a mob that would hang out there,” remarked local resident David Allen, “and now there may be just one or two people.” When I passed the corner, the only sign of life I found was a trembling woman crouched on the pavement, head in hand, as classical harpsichord besieged her ears.

This tactic was suggested by a cryptic organization called the Central Market Community Benefit District, a nonprofit collective of neighborhood property owners whose mission statement strikes an Orwellian note: “The CMCBD makes the Central Market area a safer, more attractive, more desirable place to work, live, shop, locate a business and own property by delivering services beyond those the City of San Francisco can provide.” These supra-civic services seem to consist primarily of finding tasteful ways to displace the destitute.

The inspiration for the Burger King plan, a CMCBD official commented, came from the London Underground. In 2005, the metro system started playing orchestral soundtracks in 65 tube stations as part of a scheme to deter “anti-social” behavior, after the surprising success of a 2003 pilot program. The pilot’s remarkable results — seeing train robberies fall 33 percent, verbal assaults on staff drop 25 percent, and vandalism decrease 37 percent after just 18 months of classical music — caught the eye of the global law-enforcement community. Thus, an international phenomenon was born. Since then, weaponized classical music has spread throughout England and the world: police units across the planet now deploy the string quartet as the latest addition to their crime-fighting arsenal, recruiting Officer Johann Sebastian as the newest member of the force.

Experts trace the practice’s origins back to a drowsy 7-Eleven in British Columbia in 1985, where some clever Canadian manager played Mozart outside the store to repel parking-lot loiterers. Mozart-in-the-Parking-Lot was so successful at discouraging teenage reprobates that 7-Eleven implemented the program at over 150 stores, becoming the first company to battle vandalism with the viola. Then the idea spread to West Palm Beach, Florida, where in 2001 the police confronted a drug-ridden street corner by installing a loudspeaker booming Beethoven and Mozart. “The officers were amazed when at 10 o’clock at night there was not a soul on the corner,” remarked Detective Dena Kimberlin. Soon other police departments “started calling.” From that point, the tactic — now codified as an official maneuver in the Polite Policeman’s Handbook — exploded in popularity for both private companies and public institutions. Over the last decade, symphonic security has swept across the globe as a standard procedure from Australia to Alaska.

Today, deterrence through classical music is de rigueur for American transit systems. Transportation hubs from coast to coast play classical music for protective purposes. Brahms bounces through bus stops and baggage claims. Travelers buy Amtrak tickets to Baroque Muzak at Penn Station; Schubert scherzos grace the Greyhound waiting area in New York’s Port Authority Bus Terminal; Handel’s Water Music willows over the platforms of Atlanta’s MARTA subway system. Beyond big cities, the tactic extends to small towns and suburbs across the continent. In Duncan, British Columbia, Pavarotti’s tenor tones patrol the public park dispersing late-night hooligans, while the Lynchburg Library in Virginia clears its parking lot with a playlist highlighted by such scintillating soundtracks as Mozart for Monday Mornings and A Baroque Diet. In the most dramatic account of concerto crime-fighting, the Columbus, Ohio, YMCA reportedly dissolved a sidewalk brawl between two drug dealers simply by flipping on Vivaldi’s Four Seasons.

Baroque music seems to make the most potent repellant. “[D]espite a few assertive, late-Romantic exceptions like Mussorgsky and Rachmaninoff,” notes critic Scott Timberg, “the music used to scatter hoodlums is pre-Romantic, by Baroque or Classical-era composers such as Vivaldi or Mozart.” Public administrators seldom speculate on the underlying reasons why the music is so effective but often tout the results with a certain pugnacious pride. As a Cleveland official explained, “There’s something about Baroque music that macho wannabe-gangster types hate.” The police chief of Tacoma, Washington, echoed the same logic (and the same phrasing): “By playing classical music, we hope to create an unpleasant environment for criminals and gangster-wannabes.” One London subway observer voiced the punitive mindset behind the strategy in bluntest terms: “These juvenile delinquents are saying ‘Well, we can either stand here and listen to what we regard as this absolute rubbish, or our alternative — we can, you know, take our delinquency elsewhere.’”

¤

Take your delinquency elsewhere could be the subtext under every tune in the classical crime-fighting movement. It is crucial to remember that the tactic does not aim to stop or even necessarily reduce crime — but to relocate it. Moreover, such mercenary measures most often target minor infractions like vandalism and loitering — crimes that damage property, not people, and usually the property of the powerful. “[B]usiness and government leaders,” Lily Hirsch observes in Music in American Crime Prevention and Punishment, “are seizing on classical music not as a positive moralizing force, but as a marker of space.” In a strange mutation, classical music devolves from a “universal language of mankind” reminding all people of their common humanity into a sonic border fence protecting privileged areas from common crowds, telling the plebes in auditory code that “you’re not welcome here.”

So our metaphor for music’s power must change from panacea to punishment, from unifying to separating force, as its purpose slips from aesthetic or spiritual ennoblement into economic relocation. Mozart has traded in a career as doctor for the soul to become an eviction agent for the poor.

Thus music returns to its oldest evolutionary function: claiming territory. Zoological research suggests that the original function of birdsong was not only attracting mates (as Darwin argued) but also asserting territorial rights. Experiments have demonstrated that birds usually refrain from entering regions where they hear recorded birdsong playing. These aggressive aspects of avian song extended to early humans. Primatologist Thomas Geissman speculates: “[E]arly hominid music may also have served functions resembling those of ape loud calls […] including territorial advertisement; intergroup intimidation and spacing.” The songs have changed, but the melody is the same — Warning: Private Property. Music carves public space into private territory, signaling certain areas are off limits to certain groups through orchestral “intimidation.” And no genre carries more intimidating upper-class associations than classical music.

The triumph of this symphonic segregation, however, suggests a larger defeat for classical music. We all know that music affects people below the level of active thought, whispering, if you will, to our unconscious mind. Marshaling the inhospitable associations of classical music as a gentrifying force risks further souring the public’s default attitude toward the art form from indifference to avoidance. In all likelihood, the orchestral intimidation strategy succeeds in driving away not only crowds of potential vagrants but also generations of potential audiences. Classical music may now discourage juvenile delinquents and juvenile devotees alike. It deters both loitering and listening.

Perhaps we once heard the strains of eternity in the symphonic classics. “Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony,” E. M. Forster beamed, “is the most sublime noise that has ever penetrated into the ear of man.” But when one hears Beethoven by loudspeaker on the Burger King sidewalk, the melody feels less like a summons to the sublime than an ugly reminder to “move along.”

¤

Weaponized classical music is just the next step in the commodification of the genre. Today, most young people encounter classical music not as a popular art form but as a class signifier, a set of tropes in a larger system of encoded communication that commercial enterprises have exploited to remap our societal associations with orchestral sound. Decades of cultural conditioning have trained the public to identify the symphony as sonic shorthand for social status — and, by extension, exclusion from that status. The average American does not recognize the opening chords of The Four Seasons as the sound of spring but the sound of snobbery. On screen, Baroque is the background music for Old Money, High Society, and condescension. In essence, its music is not meant to be appreciated, but associated — and those associations are overwhelmingly elitist.

Once classical music was a welcome part of popular culture, famous enough to be parodied. Bugs Bunny spoofed The Barber of Seville; the defining trait of Peanuts pianist Schroeder was his admiration for Beethoven. By 2014, however, NBC’s Hannibal Lecter was butchering cadavers to Symphony No. 9 on primetime while preparing his signature recipe for osso buco. For contemporary Hollywood, classical music is the troubled calling of eccentric geniuses, precocious nine-year-olds, and registered psychopaths. Practicing the violin is a character quirk for bipolar detectives and criminal masterminds — but not a healthy habit for normal human beings. From cartoons to cannibals, our culture’s official representatives of classical music have taken a disturbing demographic shift.

In the mass-media era, the general public primarily experiences classical music through detached snippets of larger pieces extracted to lend their symbolic power to a commercial agenda. Artists and advertisers dissect classical works into short melodies — quotable passages severed from their original context — assembling a menu of musical leitmotifs to bolster their message with a desired tone, mood, or association. Like artificial flavoring for the ear, these symphonic excerpts infuse scenes with the synthetic emotion of choice. Need a touch of European elegance? Mozart will make that minivan commercial suddenly suave. Concerned a slow sequence leaves your audience snoozing? Wake them up with the “William Tell Overture” for instant adrenaline. Does your pancake promo lack punch? Reroute Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries” from Valhalla to the International House of Pancakes.

The artistic consequences of such practices are devastating. Conscripting Wagner’s Valkyries as pancake saleswomen necessarily lowers their impact at the opera house. Some pieces are quoted so often that their secondary associations overtake and cheapen the original music. Carmina Burana exists as a permanent musical cliché. Orff’s “O Fortuna” evokes only kitsch; under which circumstances can a listener now have an authentic encounter with that choral-chanting calamity?

Such a sound-bite culture negates the definitive value of classical composition: the extended development of complex musical themes. Extended musical forms allow the listener to appreciate the subtle interplay of motif and movement — and it is exactly this nuanced appreciation that quote-clipping nullifies. There is a two-part mechanism to extract and transplant a tune: detach a 15-second theme from a 45-minute symphony (where it functioned as an integrated part in an organic whole) and attach it to an alien subject. Uproot “O Fortuna” from a Latin cantata, so it can be grafted onto a Domino’s Super Bowl spot. These transplants produce jarring mashups that trigger another insidious side effect: by always quoting works out of the context the public forgets that they have a context. The spectator forgets that “O Fortuna” could be glorious in its original context because it’s absurd hyping Domino’s Pizza. In sum, in the remix media ecosystem, famous compositions degenerate from serious music into decorative sound, applied like wallpaper to lay a poignant surface over banal intentions.

A prime example of classical music’s conflicted position in our capitalist culture is Bach’s Prelude to Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major. Dubbed the “Things Just Got Classy Song” by one columnist, the two-minute composition has been deployed for an astounding array of causes. IMDB lists 73 credits, with a résumé featuring primetime mainstays Smallville and ER, ad campaigns for Healthy Choice frozen broccoli and Pedigree dog food, and big-screen flicks ranging from Elysium and The Hangover Part II to a brief cameo in Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. In a strange contrast, creative filmmakers and corporate advertisers exploit the prelude’s associations as a symbol of class status to conjure two contradictory emotions. On the one hand, movies deploy the prelude to underline the snobbish hypocrisy of the wealthy, emphasizing how the likable everyman is out of place in high society; conversely, commercials quote it to instill the shallow sales pitch with an elegant air, implicitly linking the product with the public’s inarticulate yearning for a better life. The prelude, in other words, is used simultaneously to skewer the hypocrisy of the upper class and stoke the public’s aspirations to join it.

A recent Cadillac CTS commercial even identifies Bach’s prelude by name. In the spot, a stylish couple drives down a swank street and turns on the radio. “Bach Suite No. 1 in G Major,” declares the enlightened driver — and the camera swivels to the vehicle’s interior, showing the piece’s title electronically illuminated on the dashboard. The implication, of course, is that you’re not just buying a car, but acquiring membership to an elite social class. It is an invitation to join an exclusive club, to become the type of person who recognizes Bach suites by name and number. With a few strokes of the cello, an inane car promo rises into a grand vision of a happier future: a promise of personal transformation through the power of personal shopping.

¤

Where does this leave the prelude — and, by extension, classical music? From awakening Megasharks to selling Cadillacs, Bach’s Prelude to Cello Suite No. 1 has been drafted to support many causes. But one cause it seldom supports is itself. After being pressed into the service of so many outside agendas — advertising, film, and police work — the prelude loses its identity as an independent work of art, demanding to be taken on its own terms. It is difficult for the prelude to provide any modern audience with a genuinely “pure” listening experience. This erosion is a now-common fate for popular art. Secondary associations gradually smother primary experiences. No matter how strong an individual piece, over time, Hollywood, Madison Avenue, and Market Street threaten to drain the vitality of even the greatest music until there’s nothing left. The coroner’s report: Death by quotation. After all, there are only so many times a melody can be used to harass the homeless, embellish a cannibal’s cookery, or promote the dignity of dog food before we forget it could also glorify the dignity of humanity.

¤

Theodore Gioia is a critic living in San Francisco. His work has appeared in The Believer, Los Angeles Review of Books, and Virginia Quarterly Review. He is currently writing a book on California’s changing food culture.



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