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Haha wow holy shit, just got MONKEY'S PAWED by a tinder chick lmao (DDC)
Poast new message in this thread
Date: May 21st, 2018 7:25 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Much has been written about my quest to find a good relationship with a fit, nerdy chick who enjoys video games. This Sisyphean task thus far has primarily consisted of attempting to get gamer chicks into shape, or attempting to get fit chicks to like video games. Thus, it was quite exciting to come across the rare chick on Tinder who checks all of my boxes: fit as fuck, 6.5 face/9.1 body, claims to like Resident Evil and Call of Duty, antisocial and does not drink or go to bars, valedictorian (albiet in Mexico), high sex drive but not a slut (had not had sex in over a year), and offering to trade in my parade of Lean Cuisines for healthy home-cooked lifting meals. Basically, a description of my ideal future wife had I specced her from the ground up.
The first warning sign perhaps should perhaps have been her early focus on marriage and forming a child with me in our messaging. This was quickly overlooked on the strength of pics of her perfect ass in a thong. I probed a bit and found out that she dates very rarely because she cannot find men she is attracted to due to certain narrow preferences. This explanation, paired with the fact that I had not fucked anyone in the past few months due to a comical string of mishaps, was satisfactory. I made plans to visit her the next weekend, and refrained from jerking off for an entire WEEK to save up a gargantuan cumblast. [TO BE CONTINUED] |
Date: May 21st, 2018 7:28 PM Author: Marvelous Dysfunction Wagecucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100077) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:14 PM Author: Overrated Cracking Filthpig It would be for me too. It's proba ly been 10 years since I've done that. XOdailyfapcrew (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100329) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:16 PM Author: orange swashbuckling old irish cottage church That’s a feat (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100346) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 12:43 PM Author: crimson concupiscible lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36104814) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:17 PM Author: Vivacious box office multi-billionaire Day in my case (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100364) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:58 PM Author: Cowardly Bawdyhouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101536) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 12:45 AM Author: Elite titillating plaza marketing idea (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102398) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 2:24 AM Author: comical native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102649) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 7:50 AM Author: Fluffy digit ratio (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102998) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 12:43 PM Author: crimson concupiscible lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36104816) |
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Date: February 11th, 2019 6:29 AM Author: nighttime blathering main people ticket booth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#37761928) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:19 PM Author: sadistic stage You don't? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100380) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:51 PM Author: Marvelous Dysfunction Wagecucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100582) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:31 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Not a feat in that it's difficult, because I don't even notice it much. However, if I do go a week, my cock gets extremely sensitive and will basically get rock hard and spew at the slightest touch. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100461) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:36 PM Author: razzle area That’s an outrageous feat. I would be thinking about sex nonstop by day 3. Sorry about your low T. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101383) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 6:51 AM Author: Maroon dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102868) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 7:29 PM Author: pungent skinny woman set *subscribes* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100086) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 7:30 PM Author: Crawly Zombie-like Feces Giraffe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100093) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:16 PM Author: orange swashbuckling old irish cottage church (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100348) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 12:43 PM Author: crimson concupiscible lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36104817) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 7:30 PM Author: Crawly Zombie-like Feces Giraffe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100096) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 7:32 PM Author: 180 jewess Niggers touched you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100107) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 7:32 PM Author: Seedy brass abode How old are you and what age are you targeting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100113) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 7:35 PM Author: Drab Exhilarant Brethren hes like 36 and owns his own house in shitsville but is severely autistic. probably top 5% autism for this board (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100128) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:00 PM Author: bearded lettuce brunch This is no exaggeration (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100240) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:06 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy I'd say top 5% general pop but not top 5% on this board. I'm well regarded IRL though. Bros think my stories are hilarious, judges respect me, and I've been doing really well with women lately. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100276) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 3:25 AM Author: Milky greedy windowlicker tyft. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102721) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 3:51 PM Author: lascivious buff goyim 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36106246) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 11:55 AM Author: odious angry cumskin temple you're a buffoon shitlawyer and nobody really 'respects' you but i applaud you for maeking it despite your social and cognitive deficits. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36125856) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 7:39 PM Author: pea-brained faggot firefighter base I can already tell she’s too good for him. No need to worry as he will fuck this up for himself sooner rather than later (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100146) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 7:40 PM Author: pungent skinny woman set you actually believe her about the no sex part? a girl who into fitness and has thong pics on deck is a sexhaver (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100151) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 7:41 PM Author: 180 jewess Depends on the meaning of word sex. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100157) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:02 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy As she explained it to me, it seemed reasonable and consistent with her behavior and the other information I have. She lives with her parents and I do believe her that she hasn't been fucked in a year. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100255) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:59 PM Author: Cowardly Bawdyhouse Only one part of that is believable, and not the part you want to believe. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101545) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 12:44 AM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy I don't care that much either way. I'd rather be with a slut that fucks really well than a chaste chick. Although lying about it would be an issue for me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102391) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 7:02 AM Author: Sooty hall partner So bitter (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102886) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 7:05 AM Author: Light church building (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102894) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 7:41 PM Author: bisexual racy son of senegal You just looking or smash, or wanna seriously date?
If she's Mexican, she's clearly not acceptable to date. |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 7:42 PM Author: Fluffy digit ratio why the fuck do you want a chick to play video games? disgusting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100162) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 9:55 AM Author: beady-eyed public bath regret (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36103528) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 10:47 AM Author: demanding orchestra pit people who are hurt cr
what you don't realize young fella is when you are in a relationship you will value every morsel of time by yourself |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 7:43 PM Author: massive philosopher-king /s (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100169) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:13 PM Author: Iridescent Excitant Kitty Cat Parlor subscribed. im a fan of your work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100323) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:17 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Differences between her various pics had raised questions as to whether I would be getting a 7 body or a 9 body, and also created some lingering doubts about her face. However, when she got out of her car, standing before me was a perfect Tits On A Stick in a tight as fuck dress, face more pleasing than expected. The details of the date can be skipped other than that, with much hesitation, she agreed to "swing by my hotel room so I could drop my bags off" at the end. As things progressed, she told me that she couldn't sleep with me on a first date, but that my cock seemed big and she wanted to see it. She foiled *Plan Cumblast Prime* in hilarious fashion--after a 45 second handjob, I shot massive, gooey ropes all over my stomach (normally there is a 0% chance of me cumming from *any* handjob from anyone not myself, regardless of duration). I admitted that I had indeed been saving up for her all week, and resumed trying to fuck her.
This is when red flags resumed in full force, and she began talking of deleting Tinder, a serious relationship, being together "forever." Somehow I mollified her without agreeing to any of that, and eventually commenced fucking her perfect, waxed, and absolutely *drenched* coin slot pussy in missionary, which I usually hate but it was fantastic with her because she was extremely flexible and wild. She left for the night because she still lives with her parents, but scored major points when I was texting her later and she agreed to come back in the morning and fuck me (ahem "make love") again before I left town. [TO BE CONTINUED] |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:21 PM Author: sadistic stage 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100392) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:31 PM Author: Flickering spectacular famous landscape painting milk If this story doesn't involve you engaging in 6 months of absolutely depraved sex acts followed by ghosting her the day the deposit is due for the reception hall, then you're a fucking fool. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100463) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:47 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy She showed up the next morning in another very tight "going out dress," a bit odd for a lunch date but I'll never complain about a chick trying to look fuckable. However, she had also arrived with two gifts: a mug that said "you make my heart smile" and a miniature globe so that we could "pick out our travel destinations." I chalked it up to "cultural differences" and we went inside to fuck. This time she got on top, and I was a bit in awe of her tight, tiny body as it bounced up and down. Then all of a sudden she went into turbo mode: she pinned my arms back, hooked her feet under my calves like some sort of MMA control hold, and started bucking on my cock like a madwoman as she stared straight at me with sensual, crazy chick eyes. I've never in my life been fucked better. After some recovery, I petitioned her for doggy style to complete the last major positional entry in my mental jerkoff encyclopedia. Again, she exceeded expectations. [TO BE CONTINUED]
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:50 PM Author: Carmine queen of the night loled @ I chalked it up to "cultural differences"
Refreshing this page like mad here. |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 8:58 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy The coup de grace is coming brother, something I'm having trouble rationalizing away even given that she's a full standard deviation above my next best fuck. Like, she's so incredibly skilled and intense that I *WANT* to get sucked into a relationship and yet . . . (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100631) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:31 PM Author: Fishy stirring shitlib forum (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101353) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 9:49 PM Author: contagious sepia piazza She has a kid? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36100984) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 9:51 PM Author: Scarlet low-t boiling water great thread without even a single pic (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101008) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:26 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy At lunch, she looked away while we were waiting for the check, and said I was so handsome that it made her nervous. I told her to come sit by me where she would be more comfortable, and put my arm around her. This turned out to be a miscalculation, as she soon began taking pictures of us with snapchat filters, including one that showered us with hearts in a very disconcerting manner. Then she said "I have something for you." From her purse, she produced a small stack of professional looking, *laminated* cards of a variety of sizes and shapes. The cards consisted of a variety of "relationship coupons," such as "One free night of video games without nagging" and "Good for one home-cooked meal of your choice." This was followed by additional talk of deleting tinder.
What do I do here bros? On paper this chick has the traits I've theoretically been looking for and that are very difficult to find in one person, and fucks better than anyone I've ever fucked. Yet on the other hand, THIS IS SOME STRAIGHT UP MONKEY'S PAW LEVEL BULLSHIT. WHAT THE FUCK. SHE LITERALLY HAD TO HAVE CREATED THESE RELATIONSHIP CARDS *PRIOR* TO MEETING ME BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY SHE GOT THEM FUCKING LAMINATED AND PRINTED ON A HIGH QUALITY COLOR PRINTER BETWEEN 1:30 AM AND 11AM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT/SUNDAY MORNING. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?????
Should I just GIVE MYSELF A CHANCE TO LOVE HER?
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:28 PM Author: Flesh thriller market idea he suggested Be true to yourself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101327) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:28 PM Author: Vivacious box office multi-billionaire yeah why not, what's the problem (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101329) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:30 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Totally ok and normal for her to have determined that she wants a serious relationship with me *prior* to meeting. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101344) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:33 PM Author: Vivacious box office multi-billionaire why wouldn't she. you're a bit of a catch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101368) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 8:19 AM Author: dashing space Wilbur is such a good dude (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36103067) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 8:23 AM Author: motley translucent nursing home codepig Cr
He's dreamy |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 12:48 PM Author: crimson concupiscible lodge He's weird. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36104852) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:29 PM Author: big lavender address mad cow disease (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101334) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:31 PM Author: bearded lettuce brunch You sound like a virgin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101354) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:33 PM Author: Diverse Principal's Office Lol you have to continue fucking her (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101366) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:34 PM Author: Scarlet low-t boiling water http://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983263&mc=5&forum_id=2 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101375) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:43 PM Author: razzle area Dude relax. Just keep fucking and let do. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101433) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:50 PM Author: rusted center Are you sure she actually made the cards herself? Maybe this is some pre-made thing you can buy? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101468) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:54 PM Author: Mind-boggling stead this is my suspicion. i saw some similar type shit when i was looking for stuff for mother's day. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101501) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:07 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy The cards were likely downloaded from somewhere and printed. But they have her handwriting in the "to" and "from" blanks *INSIDE* the laminating plastic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101585) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 12:48 AM Author: Elite titillating plaza marketing idea Lmao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102413) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:51 PM Author: orange swashbuckling old irish cottage church 180 thread, but now clearly flame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101476) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:01 PM Author: Scarlet low-t boiling water not even close to flaming, actually (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101554) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:06 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101575) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:07 PM Author: Scarlet low-t boiling water its always lulzy when girls do this (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101583) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:10 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Why I'm having a hard time walking away from it:
https://imgur.com/a/3As2 |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:28 PM Author: Scarlet low-t boiling water ooooh fuck diamond just DELIVERED
NYUUG vouching for diamond here. this girl has a nice body. great ass.
good luck nigga |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 2:07 AM Author: Carmine queen of the night (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102619) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 2:24 AM Author: Sooty hall partner 180 ass (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102651) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 4:22 AM Author: Elite titillating plaza marketing idea haha wow holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102789) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 6:44 AM Author: orange swashbuckling old irish cottage church shit, maybe stay? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102860) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 7:51 AM Author: Fluffy digit ratio 180 if not flame
178 if flame |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 9:25 AM Author: Trip navy rehab DAT ASS, nyuug even more done here than usual (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36103331) |
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Date: May 26th, 2018 4:31 AM Author: thirsty gas station edited i guess? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36130460) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:17 PM Author: poppy immigrant internal respiration what's "action fuck"? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101673) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 6:45 AM Author: orange swashbuckling old irish cottage church Action Flick, she'll watch Predator with him (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102862) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 6:44 AM Author: orange swashbuckling old irish cottage church LMAO, 180
RUN AWAY |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 10:26 AM Author: motley translucent nursing home codepig Staying up 15 mins extra
Are you 12? Is she your mom? |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 2:35 PM Author: Cobalt boyish house bbw (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36105788) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 2:59 PM Author: cerise laughsome den coffee pot What does the mug say? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36105934) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 3:03 PM Author: snowy theater legend lol @ women thinking we value "undivided attention" as highly as they do. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36513519) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:04 PM Author: dull passionate stage you're overreacting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101565) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 12:45 AM Author: flatulent potus cruise ship Holy fuck who cares
Monkey paw my ass |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 6:58 AM Author: Light church building (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102878) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 3:40 AM Author: Sinister misanthropic scourge upon the earth "including one that showered us with hearts in a very disconcerting manner"
9383772727.
I just hooked up with a young prole chick and was confused that pics now come with middle school diary style hearts |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 7:50 AM Author: Fluffy digit ratio JFC do melvins really overthink human interaction this much? lmao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102997) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 12:50 PM Author: crimson concupiscible lodge This girl is perfect for you. Dont fuck this up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36104873) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 10:46 PM Author: Carmine queen of the night How long did you two chat prior to meeting? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101447) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:08 PM Author: Provocative sandwich stain where can i read about how it ended with that other best fuck of your life? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101591) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:10 PM Author: Scarlet low-t boiling water diamond doesnt post pics, and gives us lame pre-fuck yawners
nigga needs to learn how to make post-fuck proof threads |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:10 PM Author: Provocative sandwich stain huh? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101609) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 2:24 AM Author: Sooty hall partner KILL YOURSELF OYU FUCKING GOOK BUG, STOP POSTING IN THREADS STARTED BY HUMANS (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102648) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 7:49 AM Author: Fluffy digit ratio this coming from the NOWAG who constantly posts fake pics of girls he didn't fuck/fantasy text conversations with himself and swiftly deletes them before he can be called out and PWNED by xo
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:08 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle Mother This is a top ten thread of all the threads I have read in 5 years of poastinf (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101597) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:09 PM Author: poppy immigrant internal respiration why not any pics of this alleged not flame person? show us (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101600) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:21 PM Author: Chestnut appetizing dog poop locus DTP was right about app-dating, it's lose-lose, guys like OP talk about "Oh I finally found the perfect girl!" (of course he has some subtle rationalizations going on - she's mexican, but she's hot so it's okay) and then makes up the flimsiest excuses for trying to pump and dump her. You're broken and you deserve to be alone, she's probably a broken slut who has had to get those couple's coupons laminated due to the countless amount of dickslime she spilled on them. App dating is a ghetto for selfish people using semi real humans as tools to masturbate with, and the only reason these perverted freaks continue to exist is due to the temporary surplus of penicillin G. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101707) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:51 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy How are my rationalizations subtle? I'm fully cognizant of them and posting them for the amusement of all.
Also, the goal is/was not to pump and dump this chick. She did not do the most over the top of her shit until *AFTER* we had fucked. Had I known how far she would take it, I likely would have abstained. I really do not relish the idea of hurting someone who is well-intentioned but misguided. As it is, she is still in the game with me. I'm trying to get her to chill out and relax, and just let things progress normally. If she can just give me 2-3 good weekends of gaming and fucking without exhibiting signs of being overly clingy or controlling, I'll probably be her boyfriend.
I think I'm reasonably concerned that this chick decided she wanted me to be her boyfriend before meeting me. |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:54 PM Author: pea-brained faggot firefighter base seems like culturally-mediated insanity. like this is median for mexican chicks maybe. wonder if prestigefaggot will comment (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101981) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:55 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy lmao like I said, "cultural differences" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101990) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 7:00 AM Author: Light church building 180 poast (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102881) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 9:40 AM Author: aromatic jet weed whacker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36103421) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 11:54 AM Author: bossy infuriating theater stage entertaining thread but cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36125851) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 12:34 PM Author: Sickened wonderful pit hunting ground 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36513035) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:27 PM Author: judgmental doobsian crackhouse XO at its finest.
(Btw, this chick is insane & no way she went a year without fucking anyone.) |
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Date: May 21st, 2018 11:54 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Ok let's accept both of those premises (although I think 75% the second one is wrong). What do I do? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36101983) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 6:47 AM Author: orange swashbuckling old irish cottage church wife her, create babby (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102865) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 7:01 AM Author: Light church building (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36102884) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 7:07 AM Author: Light church building She sounds nervous and looks cute (at least from her ass shot)
clinginess in first few weeks doesn't always correlate with the long term
swipe and let do and give her a chance to get comfortable... Worst comes to worst you can always pull the plug down the road. No need to rush that |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 8:03 AM Author: fragrant spot travel guidebook Give her a chance, man. She really likes you and she is trying very hard to keep you. She'll probably cool down a bit once she feels more secure.
Wear a rubber though and make sure she doesn't have a kid. |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 9:29 AM Author: razzle area This jfc (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36103350) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 11:51 AM Author: lascivious buff goyim (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36125831) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 8:34 AM Author: Wild indigo field Does she have a job/career? If she's in any kind of a school, she has pretty easy access to a laminator. But tbf from the pic they look generic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36103105) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 3:25 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Hot HR chick (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36106060) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 8:53 AM Author: Maroon dilemma OP, all I can say is give yourself a chance to love her. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36103163) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 9:24 AM Author: primrose cheese-eating doctorate she could be baby crazy. What protection have you been using? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36103319) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 9:34 AM Author: orange swashbuckling old irish cottage church My vote is officially to run with it. In like a week ask her if she is your girlfriend. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36103383) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 9:43 AM Author: dashing space Just put her through qualifying rounds with family friends and colleagues and see how she does. Talk seriously about family and child-rearing and morals and long-term vision and see if she has the substance to back up her outward impulses. You will quickly learn whether she is the real thing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36103444) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 9:52 AM Author: dashing space By the way this video game criteria is juvenile and definitely hurting you long-run more than helping you. Quit it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36103513) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 1:23 PM Author: Light church building criterion is singular, criteria is plural (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36105125) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 1:50 PM Author: Vivacious box office multi-billionaire (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36126688) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 3:24 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Doesn't necessarily have to be games, could be anime, horror films, etc. I do want someone I share some lazy interests with though. I don't like going out. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36106056) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 10:03 AM Author: Curious office can't read (DDC) as anything other than "District of the District of Columbia" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36103573) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 10:12 AM Author: dashing space Embarrassing poast (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36103627) |
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Date: July 29th, 2018 7:44 AM Author: Curious office still true tho (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36516019) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 12:23 PM Author: massive philosopher-king She is grooming you to be a submissive husband/dominate wife relationship. This is extraordinarily obvious. Consider the following. 1. She has lured you in with the power of sex that she has claimed to deny to all others but offers to you, on her terms. (You've chalked this up to her nerves, etc.) 2. She's in control of the sex on top (your greatest fuck as you point out, occurs at the moment you're flat on your back out of control). 3. She's rewarded you with trivial trinkets designed to attach you to her on her terms--she's not giving you a watch or leather goods or something meaningful, but something (a) feminine and (b) junky. 4. She's then established that the terms of your relationship will be under her control and timing. The "coupons" are an element to groom you in this direction. The next stages likely will include exchanging sex for your guarantee of performing some task, perhaps slightly menial and feminine (e.g., cooking dinner then cleaning the dishes for her). You're quickly into SH/DW territory and I will subscribe to this thread forever and ever. |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 3:35 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy This is a definite possibility and a cause of some concern. She did try to use sex to get me to agree to be her boyfriend and delete apps. If it's confined to that issue it's reasonable behavior, but if she starts using sex to negotiate other aspects of the relationship she's gone.
Also, she wasn't in complete control on top. She leaned forward and I thrusted up into her for a while. When it was time for me to cum she locked down and fucked me like I've never been fucked before . . . I don't see anything wrong with that though, it was fantastic. |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 12:57 PM Author: crimson concupiscible lodge Start wondering about the dude she learned to hook her feet onto. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36104936) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 1:01 PM Author: Maroon dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36104973) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 3:36 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy No way dude, she spontaneously came up with that just for *me* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36106135) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 3:49 PM Author: crimson concupiscible lodge lol ok (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36106231) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 3:50 PM Author: motley translucent nursing home codepig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36106242) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 4:36 PM Author: Maroon dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36106556) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 5:18 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36106776) |
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Date: May 22nd, 2018 7:05 PM Author: crimson concupiscible lodge You are a good bro and I'm pulling for you. I like this girl. She's good for you I think. And make sure you take that coupon for the free night of video games with no nagging.
btw I have four Fortnite victories under my belt YNY |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 10:10 AM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy UPDATE
Yesterday she was being a little snippy that I hadn't added her on facebook even though she had "asked me three times." I told her that I didn't have a friend request when I checked it, so she sent me one. However the fact that it was such a big deal to her troubled me, and made me not want to do it.
Unprompted (we had never spoken on the phone before), she tried to call me THREE times during the Rockets game last night. I sent them all to voicemail. About 15 minutes later, "Did you block me?". About 10 minutes after that, "That is so rude!"
A couple of hours later I txted her that she was acting "crazy" and told her to chill out because it "was making me nervous." |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 10:11 AM Author: razzle area MOAR PICS FAGGOT (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36125135) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 10:12 AM Author: Insanely creepy associate rockets game was awesome (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36125146) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 10:18 AM Author: Sinister misanthropic scourge upon the earth libs apoplectic (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36125188) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 10:30 AM Author: dashing space Have an objective 6.5 Latina gamer chick if you want one. What is your throwaway (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36125255) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 11:49 AM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy dwightscottsdale@gmail (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36125820) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 10:24 AM Author: Sinister misanthropic scourge upon the earth so, to be 100% clear, we are talking about that insane mexican xo woman? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36125226) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 1:49 PM Author: Vivacious box office multi-billionaire (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36126679) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 10:45 AM Author: brindle coldplay fan meetinghouse i missed the pics. she sounds like a typical spicy latina. can you handle that passion? clinginess is just a trait you aren't used to seeing anymore because she's still able to form strong emotional bonds quickly and isn't afraid of intimacy. if you want a woman who can fuck you silly and go months without forming that strong emotional bond, keep dating them shrews. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36125322) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 10:48 AM Author: razzle area Interesting take (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36125346) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 11:48 AM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy I don't need MONTHS, but a couple of weeks would be nice
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Date: May 25th, 2018 11:59 AM Author: crimson concupiscible lodge Dude, you don't want to lose your potential soulmate because she's clingy.
Clingy is much more problematic when you aren't really into her, but clingy seems to be the only negative here so drop the tough guy act.
Right before I met my black fiance I was fucking this Mexican chick who I thought was clingy but I wasn't that into her.
Once I met my black fiance we started spending every night together immediately. I could have viewed my black fiance as clingy but we both enjoyed each other's company equally so it didn't feel that way. |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 1:13 PM Author: brindle coldplay fan meetinghouse "ugh, this hot girl who really wants a relationship with me and fucks me good keeps texting me. What a psycho"
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Date: May 25th, 2018 1:38 PM Author: Maroon dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36126581) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 1:48 PM Author: razzle area (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36126659) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 6:15 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Dude am I really in the wrong here? All of my IRL friends think she's nuts, although opinions vary between being concerned for my safety to her being harmless and endearing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36128423) |
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Date: May 26th, 2018 3:13 AM Author: brindle coldplay fan meetinghouse don't listen to any of them or that negative internal voice in your head. just follow your heart. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36130392) |
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Date: May 26th, 2018 4:13 AM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Should I . . . GIVE MYSELF A CHANCE TO LOVE HER? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36130447) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 2:07 PM Author: adventurous twinkling uncleanness laser beams Repost the pics again.
She sounds hot and crazy.
Be careful with this one. If you don’t match her level of intensity the effects can be disastrous. Also consider that her anger and vindictiveness probably has as much passion as her fucking and loving you. Piss her off down the road and she might stab you (Mexican...) or destroy all of your suits.
Also if you ghost her she will probably lose it and kill you. |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 6:21 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Also, I don't really know how Facebook works, I barely use it. Are there hazards to having her be my friend? Can she post those pics of us with hearts floating around and have other people I know see them? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36128449) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 6:23 PM Author: buck-toothed galvanic hospital lol one time I was (I thought) casually dating a girl who became my FB friend, and she changed her status to "in a relationship" with me, and it sent me a request to authorize the change and post it on my own profile. I declined. Was an awkward conversation about boundaries. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36128457) |
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Date: May 25th, 2018 6:33 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Yeaaah, I had a feeling it might lead to such chicanery.
I really wish she'd just chill the fuck out. I naturally tend to want relationships quickly. If she had just come over and spent the entire weekend this weekend fucking without putting any pressure on me, I'd be the one asking her.
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Date: May 26th, 2018 1:28 AM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Ok maybe I misjudged this chick. Apparently she was a virgin into her mid 20s, and had been dating the dude for 3 yrs before they fucked. She legitimately had gone without sex for a long time before meeting me because she was waiting for the right person.
The explanation for her amazing sexual skills? She STUDIED, consistent with being #1 in her college class. She texted me a picture of a stack of her sex books. She was actually very flattered/happy when I told her that she was the best I've been with because she hasn't been with many guys and legitimately didn't know how she stacked up.
I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. |
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Date: May 26th, 2018 3:12 AM Author: brindle coldplay fan meetinghouse fuck this flame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36130390) |
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Date: May 26th, 2018 4:18 AM Author: buck-toothed galvanic hospital yeah watching a lot of porn is more plausible it is literally impossible to "learn" sex from books |
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Date: May 26th, 2018 4:37 AM Author: bat-shit-crazy floppy home toilet seat say money but it wont get you too far (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36130463) |
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Date: May 28th, 2018 2:39 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy UPDATE:
Went to go see her again Saturday. There was another chick in the same city I wanted to meet so it seemed convenient. Got there late and started watching the Rockets game. She got to my hotel room just as they were starting to get blown out, and revealed that she had a headache and was on her period. Still smashed 3x so gets points for being a trooper. She stayed the night, which was nice. In the morning, she grabbed my dick and fucked me again. I had been planning on saving some for the other chick later just in case. We went to lunch and a movie then parted ways.
Did a little bit of shopping and met up with the other chick for dinner. Hit it off and liked her but she was less attractive than I expected. Balls were already drained and my motivation was low. I probably could have fucked her had I wanted to make a night of it because she asked me to go do something else after dinner, but I said I had to get on the road.
A little bit into the drive, the first chick calls me annoyed that I haven't texted her to let her know I was home. Ugh. Then she starts texting a variety of shit to me, everything ranging from Facebook posts with ideas for my house to guides on how to make love and praise for my skills, to complaints that I didn't open the car door for her like I did on the first date, to getting annoyed that I wasn't responding to her. Between last night and noon today, she sent me 47 messages that I cumulatively responded to with an emoticon and a one line message. She also tried to call again around lunchtime.
I don't think I can do this. I *LIKE* my chicks a bit clingy but this is insane.
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Date: May 28th, 2018 2:40 PM Author: bearded lettuce brunch You are incredibly autistic and should be put down (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36140596) |
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Date: May 28th, 2018 2:41 PM Author: Razzmatazz Bearded Indian Lodge She 100% has a brother who will bash your skull in with a hammer if you let her down. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36140598) |
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Date: May 28th, 2018 2:42 PM Author: brindle coldplay fan meetinghouse poast pics again, pls (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36140606) |
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Date: May 30th, 2018 1:34 PM Author: orange swashbuckling old irish cottage church 47? Honestly, just marry her. It’ll get better when you give her a kid. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36152270) |
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Date: May 30th, 2018 1:36 PM Author: brindle coldplay fan meetinghouse seriously. dude just needs to commit and cream that pussy up good. sounds like he's getting all the benefits of an organic gf at an age where that's not supposed to exist. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36152287) |
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Date: May 30th, 2018 2:00 AM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Fuck . . . just when I was starting to think I couldn't deal with it, she actually apologized and said she just really likes me. The balance of her texts today consisted of video game trailers and a LOT of nudes.
Also, she is VEHEMENT about the fact that she will NEVER get fat, that's a definite plus.
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Date: May 30th, 2018 2:12 AM Author: brindle coldplay fan meetinghouse poast nudes pls (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36150061) |
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Date: May 30th, 2018 12:34 PM Author: crimson concupiscible lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36151916) |
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Date: May 30th, 2018 12:36 PM Author: judgmental doobsian crackhouse best move she could have made. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36151934) |
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Date: May 30th, 2018 1:11 PM Author: ruby personal credit line business firm I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume this is not flame. (Flame or not, it's a fantastic thread.)
Have you considered just talking to her about any of this? Just say, "I like you a lot. You're gorgeous. The sex is incredible. I've been looking for a girl that enjoys staying in and playing video games, so you're perfect in that regard. But I don't use Facebook much and I'm not on my phone 24/7. It makes me a little uncomfortable when you keep texting me and get upset that I'm not responding because I put my phone away for a couple hours to watch a basketball game. It also makes me feel like you are trying to pressure me into a relationship. To be clear, I really like you, and I hope that things go well and that we are in a committed relationship in the near future. But I hope that you'd want to wait until I'm ready before we make it 'Facebook official' rather than try to pressure me."
Just see how she reacts. One possibility is that she's a crazy jealous/controlling type and she'll flip out on you. The other possibility is that she's just young and doesn't have much experience dating and hence doesn't know what to do. She thinks it would be incredibly romantic if a guy wanted a relationship after one date and would want to text with her 24/7. A lot of girls that age are on their phones practically nonstop and it doesn't even occur to them that someone might not respond to texts because they didn't have their phone with them. I occasionally date girls that age, and I've seen the same behavior where a chick freaks out and thinks I have ghosted her because I put my phone away while I was at work or something. If you calmly explain to her that you really like her but her behavior is making you uncomfortable, hopefully she'll understand and try to change her behavior. If she's just the psycho jealous/possessive type, you'll figure that out soon enough.
Also, no way that she learned how to have sex like that from reading books or even watching porn. You don't seem to care, so whatever, but I just wanted to make sure you knew that in case it's an issue for you. |
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Date: May 30th, 2018 1:22 PM Author: crimson concupiscible lodge cr esp last sent (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36152188) |
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Date: May 30th, 2018 1:32 PM Author: brindle coldplay fan meetinghouse what's her age? what's your age? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36152262) |
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Date: May 30th, 2018 1:35 PM Author: orange swashbuckling old irish cottage church (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36152278) |
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Date: May 30th, 2018 1:13 PM Author: Violet glittery dragon you should marry her and have her sign a pre-nup clause that triggers if she ever gets fat (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36152136) |
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Date: May 30th, 2018 1:28 PM Author: Maroon dilemma make her deliver BMI Compliance Certificates quarterly (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36152227) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 3:02 AM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy I'd like to apologize for my failure of diligence in updating this thread. I actually had a half-finished poast for 6/12/18 saved in my email drafts but it slipped through the cracks. I'm going to wrap that up and circulate TONIGHT, then touch base again tomorrow as I continue to bring you all back up to speed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36511974) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 11:33 AM Author: orange swashbuckling old irish cottage church (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36512828) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 3:37 AM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy ORIGINALLY INTENDED FOR POASTING ON 6/12/2018 ==================================================== Time for a post-weekend update.
Last weekend, she came to visit me for the first time. This was something I has been looking forward to since I thought it would me a much better look at her than hanging out in a city that neither of us lives in and that doesn't have much to do (our first two meetings).
She arrived on Friday night wearing another tight as fukkk dress. I gave her the quick tour of my place, concluding in my bedroom, where we proceeded to smash a few times over the next couple of hours. Eventually she got hungry at about 1am so we headed out to grab some groceries. She was still down to stay up later so we played some Black Ops 3 split screen campaign. She turned out to be borderline competent, picking up about half as many kills as me, which isn't bad for a first run.
The entire time, she had been traipsing around in a tank top and some cutoff jean shorts that practically left her ass hanging out. I thought I was done for the night but it was too much and I had to hit it again. After I busted I decided I wanted to try something different, and had her squat on top of me with her feet forward instead of on her knees. She delivered big-time, slamming her pussy down onto my cock with powerful, tip-to-hilt strokes that finished me off for a fifth time and made me tap out for the night.
Saturday I wasn't planning on fucking her because I had to lift, but she woke me up with a tongue in my ear and a hand on my cock. Luckily she did all the work and my energy was preserved. We went to get ingredients for her to cook dinner, and she spent the afternoon making steak and shrimp while I benched and deadlifted.
This is where my draft poast cuts off and the details are a bit fuzzier two months later, but I can tell you that I continued to fuck her repeatedly, with the sum total being that in a roughly 26 hour period spanning Friday and Saturday night, I busted in her *TEN* times. For the coup de grace, I slammed into her from behind, gripping that tight, tiny ass, and popped off just as she was about to get there. She just kept going and bucking against my cock, and it was so hot that I went again and eventually had another full orgasm with ZERO break or refractory period. Fucking crazy for a dude entering his late 30s, and wearing condoms.
Unfortunately condoms seem to be a major issue with this chick. She is absolutely fastidious about making sure my dick never touches (or even gets near) her cooze while unwrapped. It's annoying. There's no "just a few strokes and then I'll pull out" with this girl. In fact, she tells me she has *NEVER* had unprotected sex and seems really serious about it. More updates on that later.
Anyways, we finished up Saturday night watching a horror movie in bed, then she went to sleep and I watched another one. She got up around 6AM and left because she had to be at a wedding before noon.
One last thing that I almost forgot: after I blasted at one point on Saturday afternoon, she wanted me to finger her and got into the spooning position. She gave me very detailed instructions that were a lot different than other chicks had liked in the past, but the upshot was that I was rapidly porno-style fingerBLASTING her with two fingers. Suddenly I felt a giant "wall" of flesh in her pussy clamp down and convulse, and I felt her squirt all over my thighs. That was actually my first time with a big squirter and it was so fucking hot. My sheets and mattress pad were SOAKED.
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Date: July 28th, 2018 4:00 AM Author: histrionic wine really tough guy hell yeah this was 6 weeks ago WHAT HAPPENED SINCE THEN??? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36512016) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 10:42 AM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Like I said, I'm working to bring everyone back up to speed but cranking out poasts with my trademark style of introspective oversharing takes time. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36512630) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 10:43 AM Author: Hairraiser ape messiness (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36512636) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 10:45 AM Author: Bateful Beta Menage Water Buffalo That much sex sounds annoying. How do you go 10 times in a day. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36512640) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 11:38 AM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy https://imgur.com/a/t3aqnzP
Great body, extremely enthusiastic, traipses around in a thong or extremely short cutoffs so the temptation is always there
also, she initiates a lot and has NEVER turned me down when I initiate. if I rank-ordered all the chicks I've fucked by body/hotness, just about everyone else at the top either had hangups, wasn't enthusiastic, or wasn't very good, sex with them involved jumping through a bunch of hoops, or it ended up being a one or two night thing. |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 10:55 AM Author: Crawly Zombie-like Feces Giraffe squirt is pee (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36512672) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 11:40 AM Author: orange swashbuckling old irish cottage church (virgin) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36512851) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 11:11 AM Author: jade lay Sounds like the experience I had with an Ecuadorian chick a few months back. At least I had warning: she started getting clingy and wanting Facebook status, etc., even before I met her IRL.
I cut her loose, obvs. I can only imagine what would have went down if I'd actually fucked her. |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 11:28 AM Author: exciting prole corn cake For those of us who missed this thread the first go round, can you post a pic of this chick? I’m guessing in the ensuing two months you’ve accumulated tons to choose from. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36512818) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 11:38 AM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy yeah i gotchu
https://imgur.com/a/t3aqnzP |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 11:54 AM Author: exciting prole corn cake nice bros. classy b’s?
i honesty think deep down most women like being prodded into sending pics like that because it makes them feel attractive and sexy
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Date: July 28th, 2018 11:58 AM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy They're actually bigger than than pic implies, I assume C or D. Great combination of size and perkiness. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36512921) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 12:00 PM Author: exciting prole corn cake you don’t have a bra pic? can’t really tell from that one. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36512928) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 12:27 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy Added a clothed pic (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36513020) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 12:32 PM Author: exciting prole corn cake those are definitely respectable (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36513031) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 12:01 PM Author: jade lay I just KNOW I'd end up getting that puta embarazada (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36512933) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 12:06 PM Author: exciting prole corn cake you and me both. i’d keep a plan b pill in my nightstand. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36512948) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 12:08 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy This thread is only up to 6/10/2018 in terms of the events it describes, FRIEND. We have a long way to go :) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36512956) |
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Date: July 28th, 2018 12:09 PM Author: jade lay Entonces, MAS!
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Date: July 28th, 2018 12:26 PM Author: exciting prole corn cake diganos! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36513019) |
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Date: July 29th, 2018 7:45 AM Author: dead heaven round eye i fucking hate this stupid ass thread title and thread, shitmods pls delete so we don't have to look at it anymore (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36516020) |
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Date: July 31st, 2018 10:05 AM Author: exciting prole corn cake update? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36527178) |
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Date: July 31st, 2018 10:55 AM Author: jade lay (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36527503) |
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Date: July 31st, 2018 10:54 AM Author: brindle coldplay fan meetinghouse Get her on that nuva ring and cream pie that (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36527490) |
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Date: August 1st, 2018 3:53 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy June 17, 2018 Update =================== Next Friday, the chick showed up at my place around 10pm, again in a tight dress. This time she was visiting town with her parents and had split off from them to see me for a bit. She called me, presumably to let me know she was here, but I didn't pick up quite in time and texted her "hey" to see if she was outside. When she came in, she was somewhat incredulous that I had texted her "hey" and not something more "romantic." I blew this off and told her to get over herself (and now "hey" is the primary way that I greet her). We smashed a couple of times, cuddled and chilled in bed for a while, then she went back to her family and I played some Detroit: Become Human.
We made plans to hang out Saturday, and apparently she seemed a bit jealous/annoyed that I was trying to pin down her schedule so that I'd have time to see my friend too (completely platonic bipolar bisexual gamer chick). I didn't really want to reward her for obvious jealousy but I let her have most of the day because in the end, she came from out of town and I wanted to nut in her repeatedly while she was here. Saturday was basically the same as Friday, mostly fucking and hanging out.
Sunday at around noon, she called to tell me she couldn't make it that day because her parents wanted to go home early. I was secretly pleased by this and spent the entire day playing Detroit:BH. During the evening, she asked me to call her and I told her to just text me whatever was on her mind. The game was getting pretty intense and I didn't really feel like talking to her anyway. She tried to call regardless of my instructions so I sent it to voicemail and texted her to stop.
Around that time, I realized it was Father's Day so I gave my old man a call. Apparently telling her to stop calling me was "aggressive" and "controlling," so she tried to call about 4x during the 20 minutes I was talking to my dad. She texted me a screenshot showing that I was on a call and asked why I could talk to someone else but not her. I basically told her to stop acting like a stalker and that the next time she pulled that shit I was going to stop seeing her.
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Date: August 3rd, 2018 3:14 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy JULY 1 UPDATE =====================
I didn't communicate with her at all for perhaps 4-5 days after the above post. Eventually she texted me and apologized and said it wouldn't happen again. At this point I was warming to the idea of moving on and focusing on other chicks, for both of our benefits. Overall, she's a good-natured chick who would make a good wife and hold up her end of the bargain by staying fit, cooking, and fucking often, but I wasn't really feeling the type of mental connection that would make me fall in love with her. I at least TRY to be somewhat ethical, so I don't want a situation where I pound her out for 6 months or a year and then she gets completely destroyed by the breakup and loses time she could have spent looking for someone kid-oriented, which is a major goal for her. Anyways, I had been putting off plans to see her again while I thought about what to do, when the following exchange occurred.
I won't spoil the ending, but haha wow holy shit:
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Date: August 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM Author: Ocher federal fortuitous meteor library 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36547818) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2018 3:32 PM Author: supple rigpig whorehouse Is she ESL or just retarded? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36547857) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2018 3:57 PM Author: Irradiated point She’s a Mexican valedictorian. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36548057) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2018 4:00 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy ESL
She's actually above avg intelligence, her written grammar is just shit. Her English is entirely self taught from watching some movies. |
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Date: August 3rd, 2018 3:32 PM Author: Carmine queen of the night (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36547858) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2018 4:43 PM Author: umber legal warrant senate Wrapping it up with this chick was very credited. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36548436) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2018 5:57 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy I don't think you noticed the very last message homie. 38 days . . . (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36548915) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2018 6:56 PM Author: Mustard Disgusting Chapel Mazel tov. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36549333) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2018 7:18 PM Author: Wild indigo field https://imgur.com/a/GBgDVJp (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2#36549434) |
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Date: December 26th, 2018 8:41 PM Author: Duck-like yarmulke puppy I got a bit sidetracked but I hate leaving a solid thread unfinished so here are the quick bullet points:
-Stomach was in complete knots for a couple of weeks thinking this chick was pregnant, especially given that she wants kids badly and is obsessed with me. A lot of different "options" were brainstormed. Luckily she just had an irregular period.
-That out of the way, I was leaning towards a slow fade to preserve her feelings, because imagining a family consisting of me, her, and a kid was horrifying and a life I didn't want. I was enjoying fucking/dating her but I didn't want to waste her chance to find someone to have kids with and I realized I was being dishonest with myself in thinking I could give her what she wanted.
-Decided to see her one more time to transition out, she pulls a rabbit out of her hat by sticking my dick in her raw for the first time and letting me creampie her a few times with a plan b pill. I actually have a nice time with her and am thinking about at least giving her some more time, although I'm crystal clear with her that we aren't exclusive. Really I was just taken by the idea of dumping more loads in her raw because she said she would get on birth control. This is a HUGE issue where I live . . . for some reason almost none of the chicks are on BC. Anyways, the last time we fucked that weekend, on the couch with her on top, she leans down and whispers "I love you" into my ear. Fuck.
-I met someone on bumble that I really clicked with during a business trip and we started talking a lot every day and making plans to hang out the next time I was back. Remembering that there are a few chicks out there I can really connect with was the nudging I needed to drop Monkey's Paw, who I have no conversational chemistry with. I had a couple of great dates with her and we were planning a third, then she decided to get back with her long-term ex who called her crying. I was pretty crushed by this. It would have been very tough at the start because she lives 5 hours away, but I legit thought this chick was the one.
-I apologize to Monkey's Paw, not trying to still date her, but just because things didn't work out how she hoped. She begs to see me again and eventually I am horny enough that it seems like a good idea. At first I'm happy to have her around for a weekend, but I got Red Dead Redemption 2 that Saturday night and she was being pouty about me playing solo for a couple of hours. I could not WAIT for her to leave Sunday morning. She wanted to go out to breakfast but I feigned tiredness. As soon as she was out the door, I SPRINTED to my PS4, cackling with glee.
-Told her it wasn't going to work and have not seen her in over two months. Occasionally I will get strings of 5-10 texts telling me she needs me inside her, begging to see me, and rationalizing ways she could make it work, including moving to be closer to me. |