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Is having 1 kid actually TCR?
Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 5th, 2018 9:37 PM Author: sexy cerebral philosopher-king Seems like our family will be more tight-knit, closer to a trio of friends, than if we have 1 more kid. 2nd kid might disrupt the balance. Path 1: the 3 of us travelling together, going out to eat, retiring when she's in college. Path 2: have a 2nd kid, life goes back to shit again trying to raise a baby, 1st kid gets jaded, we get divorced, I'm dead broke and still slaving away with no savings when kids are in college. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191038) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 10:10 PM Author: Stubborn Adventurous National Security Agency Plaza One is great. but it IS painful to know that the moments of innocence are fleeting and only come once. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191208) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 3:03 PM Author: Gold infuriating location boiling water This may be the first poast of yours that is worth a damn. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36195125) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 10:37 PM Author: irate base yes those things all definitely follow when you have a second kid (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191345) |
Date: June 5th, 2018 9:38 PM Author: stirring toaster 4 kids is cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191044) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:38 PM Author: Insane yapping mood (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191047) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:59 PM Author: shaky ticket booth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191156) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:38 PM Author: Insane yapping mood Fuck no. Only-children are unsuffrable selfish cunts.
Also -- your chances of passing on your genes more than 1-2 generations is SHIT if you only have 1 kid. |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:39 PM Author: sexy cerebral philosopher-king I don't care about that. My retarded sibling has 3 kids and her life is a wreck. She can pass on our genes. Also, my only child appears to be a budding superstar. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191051) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:41 PM Author: stirring toaster describe behaviors that make you think superstar (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191056) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:43 PM Author: Insane yapping mood 100% of people I know with kids say their kids are super smart. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191065) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:46 PM Author: sexy cerebral philosopher-king I'm not saying she's Baby Einstein or will necessarily set the world on fire. But she is beautiful and has an extremely engaging personality. What I mean is that I find her adorable and more than I will ever need as a parent. She could achieve a lot or a little and I would be happy with her either way. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191079) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:46 PM Author: stirring toaster 180 brother (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191083) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 10:00 PM Author: cracking harsh sound barrier digit ratio I feel similarly. The things that make me want >1 are:
1. I'm terrified of my reaction if something were to ever happen to my daughter. The day to day life of being a sort of mid-career lawyer fucking sucks, and I'm really looking forward to retirement and spending time with my kids and someday grandkids. If anything happens to that, I would be crushed. Not to mention all of the things in between. I spend almost every free minute with my kid when she's awake; what would I do if she was gone? I'd be absolutely crushed if being a parent were taken away from me.
2. My kid is awesome and the world needs more than one.
3. I like being the parent of a toddler and I'm not ready to be done with it. |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 10:02 PM Author: sexy cerebral philosopher-king TYVM. Appreciate this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191170) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:41 AM Author: Fluffy hospital JFC so you want more than one in case she dies? what kind of parent are you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36192160) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:50 AM Author: hairless son of senegal mother (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36192329) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 4:07 AM Author: cracking harsh sound barrier digit ratio Is there a parent who doesn't worry about something happening to his/her kid?
Also, not only death: There are other ways the kid could not fit the mold -- disease, drugs, joining a convent, doing something completely out of the norm, etc. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 11:30 AM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan Not going to lie, my wife made this argument (along with "or if they just suck"). Probably the most compelling argument you can make. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36193412) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 11:45 AM Author: brilliant azn It seems weird but he articulated it well. Once you're a parent, the thought of NOT being a parent is horrifying. I was pretty torn about whether to have a third, but Sandy Hook nudged me over the line. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36193506) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 5:56 PM Author: slap-happy lodge twinkling uncleanness jfc... sandy hook??? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36196360) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 9:20 AM Author: shaky ticket booth you should 100000% have more than 1 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36192688) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 11:23 AM Author: chartreuse arousing boltzmann Agree x100 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36193380) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 6:19 PM Author: Hairraiser juggernaut sounds like more of a baby goldstein (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36196509) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:43 PM Author: Insane yapping mood 1) Every parent thinks their kid is a budding superstar. Your opinion is shit. 2) You and your sister only share 50% of your genes. 3) Are you a chick? 4) Why didnt you marry a guy who wasnt a loser so you could be SAHM and not have to worry about this shit? |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:41 AM Author: Fluffy hospital IMO youngest daughters in multiple sibling households tend to be far worse than only children - this is because parents tend to spoil youngest daughters whereas they just apply pressure to only kids to succeed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36192159) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 10:11 AM Author: 180 nursing home coffee pot Cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36192967) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:40 PM Author: orchid diverse really tough guy if you're white please have 3+ kids (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191053) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:43 PM Author: Insane yapping mood THIS
If mud-person, kill kids and killself. |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:46 PM Author: hateful giraffe whorehouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191080) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 10:40 PM Author: irate base wifo preggers with triplets now taking qs (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191366) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:37 PM Author: Aggressive garrison sneaky criminal Did you congratulate the father(s)? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194322) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 9:26 PM Author: Dead prole area (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36197491) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:11 PM Author: arrogant parlour bbw whoa (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194559) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 9:40 PM Author: Cream supple site chad Ha, your nights are going to be a living hell for the next two years. But they will love having two siblings the same age so it will be worth it in the end
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:09 PM Author: comical bossy office hominid (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194546) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:41 PM Author: racy mint state The change in lifestyle from 1 kid>2 kids is actually more dramatic than from 0 kids>1 kid
There is literally no reason for parents to want more than 1 kid. They do it basically because they think babydood needs a sibling. But in long run that only child would be significantly happier with no college debt, undivided parental attention & support, and cool traveling stories/local adventures with parents that would be impossible with 2+ kids.
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:45 PM Author: stirring toaster why 1-2 so crazy a leap?
I can guessestimate, having one in school one out would be crazy but not seeing it other than that
what if split between different baby mamas? |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:50 PM Author: brilliant azn He's right. It's a whole other ballgame once the second one comes along. With the first you can devote your full attention to whatever the kid needs. With a second now your attention is divided and you're constantly multitasking, prioritizing, etc. Baby's up from a nap but toddler just had a potty accident, unsynchronized naps, trying to schedule outings around everyone's needs, etc.
That being said, I have 3 and it's chaos but I love it. |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:51 PM Author: racy mint state Things are easier to plan with 1 kid. If the kid is potty training, nbd you can work around their training schedule. If the kid needs a nap every day at 1, again you can plan accordingly. Et cetra.
But when you have 2 or more at different stages in their development, any sort of strategy you have just goes out the window. You just try to make it through the day without killing self. |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:47 PM Author: sexy cerebral philosopher-king This is the sort of level-headed response I'm looking for. Yes of course everyone has heard of the so-called pitfalls of growing up an only child. But it's not a scienific fact that having a sibling will be beneficial in every case. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191089) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 9:44 PM Author: razzle-dazzle university (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191068) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 10:01 PM Author: shaky ticket booth If you're going to have 1 you should have 3 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191166) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 10:44 PM Author: irate base I believe I posted scholarship on this a few months ago
description of parents who have n number of kids:
0 = terrible, selfish yuppie shit; will spend last forty years of life regretting never forming babby 1 = upper middle class strivers who instagram too much and do wacky "look at me" shit with kid as prop 2 = respectable middle class good dooders or UMC who live in a dumb mcmansion 3 = upper middle class who have their shit put together and are good people 4 = sloppy prole or rich and care about community, volunteerism 5 = irish 6+ = garbage |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 10:56 PM Author: shaky ticket booth some truth to this (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191474) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:04 PM Author: startling lime organic girlfriend legal warrant Seems right (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194511) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 9:36 PM Author: Impertinent box office nowag (Guy who has 3 kids.) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36197557) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:48 AM Author: Fluffy hospital Every third+ child I know is an accident outside of creepy, religoius families (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36192181) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 9:18 AM Author: shaky ticket booth tremendous personal anecdote, thanks for sharing (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36192680) |
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Date: June 5th, 2018 10:39 PM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan Depends. If the 1 kid is a shithead then you're going to feel like you dun goofed. If the kid is great then you'll have no regrets. It is an all or nothing proposition. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36191363) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:38 AM Author: crawly spectacular haunted graveyard shitlib (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36192154) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 9:56 AM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business Once you get used to having one, assuming you have a healthy kid, life is kinda unchallenging with just one and lonely as they get older. Let’s face it, chance are your child will likely leave you and only see you 3-4 times/year when they’re an adult if they move away. More kids increases the likelihood that at least 1 may stick around locally.
Also, one of the great joys in life is interacting with and raising children and seeing how they develop. I don’t find other kids funny and don’t like other kids but I find my own hilarious and I write things down because I worry I will forget the things he says and the things he does. Kids are also straightforward and get bonded and attached to you easily without all the complications until they are older. They love hugs and kisses and want to cuddle. They giggle with you. That feels so nice. Why wouldn’t want to experience that more than once, even if they can be shitheads too.
I’d have 3 kids if I wasn’t such an old hag. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 9:59 AM Author: arrogant parlour bbw if you didn't happen to be expecting #2 you would have written basically the exact same screed but about the benefits of only having one.
and yea, one baby is basically a vacation |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 10:52 AM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business that makes zero sense. I have a choice over whether I have another kid or not. It doesn’t just “happen.” If I didn’t want another, I wouldn’t have another. We planned for 2. It’s not like i unexpectedly got knocked up and now have to rationalize it. There were times I found it tempting not to disturb the balance given how easy it is now and how much money we’d save, but ever since I was little, I knew I wanted to get married and have more than one kid. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36193225) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:34 PM Author: arrogant parlour bbw if something happened where you couldn't have a second kid you'd be saying one kid is better. or doing some roundabout humblebrag that would be blankbumped by your sockpuppets. either way you should be deported. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194295) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:52 PM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business Lol, whatever you say pumo.
You know there’s this thing called adoption, which is available to people who can’t have their own kids. I’d likely go that route if there’s a third. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:57 PM Author: arrogant parlour bbw seeing "pumo" used as an insult it's a good sign you've struck a nerve (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194464) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:02 PM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business You’re right, you’ve won, hope you feel good (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194498) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:08 PM Author: arrogant parlour bbw it's not as satisfying as the 1-2 seconds when you read a poast that gives you glowing accolades and dismisses everyone else as jealous MAF haters before remembering that you made the poast under a sockpuppet. i'm just a pumo though and probably a MAF virgin so I take what I can get. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194534) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:03 PM Author: shaky ticket booth ick adoption (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194505) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:15 PM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business Men are more against adoption than women since they don’t have the same maternal instinct. I read news stories and feel guilty about having biological kids. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194601) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:17 PM Author: shaky ticket booth i am probably one of the biggest family/kids proponents on xo, and i would never adopt in 100 years. and i actually even like other peoples' kids too (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194622) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:19 PM Author: arrogant parlour bbw u sound german (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194639) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:25 PM Author: shaky ticket booth Vielleicht (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194697) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 3:10 PM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan Agree (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36195193) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 12:49 PM Author: cracking harsh sound barrier digit ratio (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36193937) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:30 PM Author: Buff water buffalo chapel Strange post.
I am ignoring your first paragraph because i don't think creating a friend obligated to keep you company in 25 years should be a consideration in deciding whether to have a 2nd child.
And your second paragraph is limited to a very small window of time. I agree with everything you said but it's really just aligned with the age of your first child right now. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 4:00 PM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business I definitely think about whether I will be around my kids when I’m older. My mom lives 3 blocks from me and I see her every day. We are closer as adults than when I was a child and it’s nice. I’d like to replicate this if possible. It doesn’t obligate any of my kids to stay local, but the more you have, the greater chance you are still close with at least one as an adult.
The thing about watching them grow up and develop is also a lot more than toddlerhood. It’s basically up until year 10-11 when they stop being as innocent and start becoming jaded. Having had an unhappy childhood, my primary reason for having kids is to create a happy childhood for the first decade or so. A lot of pure happiness and joy can only be experienced during childhood, not as an adult when you have too much baggage. If you ask people what their best memories were, it’s typically from childhood. It’s neat to get to create those memories for my own kids, despite it also being sad because you know it’s s only a temporary state of existence. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 3:46 PM Author: Internet-worthy maniacal meetinghouse dragon The whole point of more than one kid is for the kids to have siblings. You sound like you plan to pit them against each other (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36195452) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 3:50 PM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business You sound like you have no idea wtf you’re talking about. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36195482) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 3:55 PM Author: Internet-worthy maniacal meetinghouse dragon I see you don’t have sibling so you don’t understand the benefits (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36195506) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 4:05 PM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business I wanted a sibling my entire life and am excited for my son to have a sibling and have a buddy. So again, you have no idea wtf you’re talking about. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36195592) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 4:06 PM Author: Internet-worthy maniacal meetinghouse dragon Also I think you have an idealistic view of multi-child parent dynamics. If anything, the more kids there are, the more they drift away from their parents and the more one is not likely to be involved at all. Single Children are the ones who tend to be attached at the hip to their parents their whole lives
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Date: June 6th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: Godawful Crotch Skinny Woman We will be having only 1 kid for all these reasons and more.
You can mitigate the risks of an only child turning into a selfish shithead, but you can't avoid the chaos and financial burden of 2+ kids. Having said that, the chaos and financial burden is worth it for some people. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 10:12 AM Author: 180 nursing home coffee pot No. Parents of single children are always slightly mentally ill and over protective. Too many eggs all in one basket. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36192974) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 10:20 AM Author: shaky ticket booth I agree.
Also, unless there was some issue as to why those parents only had 1, I tend to find them to be very selfish (they aren't usually having more kids bc it would interfere with their lifestyle) and they only have the one bc they feel like they need to and because they want a kid almost as a decoration to their life. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 10:39 AM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan This is exactly why I only want 1 kid. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36193173) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 10:42 AM Author: frum multi-billionaire crackhouse we already covered the mentlaly ill thing (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36193185) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 10:42 AM Author: shaky ticket booth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36193187) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 10:42 AM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan Thank (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36193189) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 11:14 AM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business Prob true. My parents are both insane for different reasons (narcissistic father, depressed/anxious mother who is utterly helpless). They legit couldn’t handle one obedient kid and it’s prob good they didn’t have another. We were also really poor so financially couldn’t afford another kid. I used to beg and beg for a sibling. I grew up incredibly lonely and had a pretty awful childhood. They are also divorced so I have to take care of them separately now that they’re old. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36193318) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 10:54 AM Author: Thirsty kitchen Both my sisters have only one kid. One of the kids is amazing and has a close bond with the family. The other is a lost child that is just now finding her way at the age of 30. I guess it comes down to parenting, but it's scary knowing that you have everything invested in only one kid. At least with two, it's like you get a mulligan. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36193238) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 12:53 PM Author: hot mental disorder principal's office Recently became a 5kidmo. It's cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36193971) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:06 PM Author: Thirsty kitchen How many males? Get ready to get sized up every time one gets into his late teens. You'll need dat old man strength. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194096) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:14 PM Author: hot mental disorder principal's office More than half brother! My boys fear me now. I will have failed as a father if they don't have the ability to kick my ass by the time I'm 60 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194148) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 6:18 PM Author: Thirsty kitchen What's your go-to move? Forearm club? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36196500) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:10 PM Author: Odious adulterous pit trust fund have one dotter. we are drowning. both wife and i work full-time jobs. feel guilty about leaving kid with babysitters/grandma. so expensive, to boot. how will we ever afford another one (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194123) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:15 PM Author: hot mental disorder principal's office Wife should quit and be sahm and you need to readjust ur lifestyle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194151) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:17 PM Author: Odious adulterous pit trust fund literally couldn't afford to live in socal (near family) if she quits. it's bonkers out there. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194165) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:18 PM Author: hot mental disorder principal's office That sucks man. I'd suggest moving, but Family close by is important, and you can't choose what geographical area ur from. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194175) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:24 PM Author: Odious adulterous pit trust fund we just bought a house near wife's mom, doubling down on the dual incomes in exchange for family nearby. worst case, housing market crashes, we lose job(s), and have to move away with a good amount of cash from savings and proceeds from the house. best case could be anything. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194214) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:15 PM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan Ugh. My wife wants 2 and it seems retarded to me. This better not wreck my life. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194152) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:19 PM Author: Odious adulterous pit trust fund be very certain this is what you want. i don't regret my kid, but i'd be lying if i said this didn't "wreck" the life i used to have. we are just past the 4 month mark though, so hopefully it gets better -- but i doubt it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194176) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:21 PM Author: brilliant azn You can't judge in the early stages. First year with the second one is a rough adjustment. But once babyd00d is not so fragile and starts interacting more, it is 180^180 watching the sibling relationship develop. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194187) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:26 PM Author: Odious adulterous pit trust fund you're probably right. want a second one for the same reason as others, that only kids seem maladjusted. there's also something to be said for each kid having different kinds of problems at each individual stage. that probably keeps you going. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194228) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:29 PM Author: brilliant azn Oh I misread your post. Thought you just had a second. This is your first? First 12 weeks are the roughest, especially if they go through colic. Right about now it should look like someone is actually being the wheel a little now. By 6 months they start to have much more of a personality. Going out for meals or activities with them becomes easier once they're snacking on solids. It's a big adjustment, especially w the first. It gets better. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194262) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:35 PM Author: Odious adulterous pit trust fund yeah, she smiles constantly now, way more responsive to tone of voice, actually feel like she's listening when i tell her about my day. excited to see what's next! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194305) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:43 PM Author: brilliant azn It's great. You'll be amazed at how proud you feel just from them learning basic things like crawling, how to hold a cup, watching them experience new things, etc. Enjoy! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194367) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:28 PM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan I'm hiring an au pair and my position is that it is the problem of my wife and the au pair. I don't even want kids. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194251) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:33 PM Author: Odious adulterous pit trust fund Lol. I don't think you can avoid childcare. Your wife will drag you into it one way or another, or you'll feel bad for the ordeal she's going through, or wife and au pair will both be unavailable one day and you'll want to pull out your nordic 4 hair when the baby needs your constant attention. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194289) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:35 PM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan Nope, I will not feel bad in the least. I'm open about the fact that I've always been anti-kid, she has had a change of heart, so this is her issue. She gets an au pair. Otherwise, there are grandparents who can show up or whatever. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194308) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:40 PM Author: Odious adulterous pit trust fund This will fuck up your kid and your marriage. Fathers need to be involved.
And forget childcare, good luck going to dinner with your wife, good luck when she's too tired to have sex, good luck when the resentment builds up from your lack of involvement. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:41 PM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan Yeah, I'm fucked no matter what. If I just say no then she'll resent that too. But I'm being upfront in that I expect to not really be involved. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194356) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:50 PM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business Recipe for fucking up both your marriage and your kids.
I think if you’re not both on board, the default should be not to have kids, not press ahead and expect to just not be involved. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:01 PM Author: Marvelous anal theater stage I'd say that 95% of men believe they don't want kids until they have them. I was definitely this way. My wife was like "i want kids and it's time to have them." I was horrified at the thought of raising children and losing my freedom, but i slid and let do, and it turned out that i love it and i'm a decent father. Guys are prideful and typically welcome responsibility once it's foisted upon them. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194490) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:05 PM Author: Odious adulterous pit trust fund I think the standard should be to be a good father. I had a really shitty dad who "welcomed responsibility" on the surface, but we sniffed out the disinterest pretty early. Dads in my opinion are more important than moms because they are better suited to pass on lessons to live a good life. Moms are generally better at providing the day-to-day love and support. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194514) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:25 PM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business TMF may be autistic enough to be in the 5% though. I don’t think he’d shirk responsibility but I can see him being super annoyed with Mandy and the kids as a result to the point of resentment and jealousy (if Mandy neglects him). All not good things. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194691) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 3:10 PM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan I think this is right. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36195197) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:59 PM Author: Odious adulterous pit trust fund you being "upfront" before kids literally couldn't matter any less once the kid arrives. you will be expected to chip in. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194479) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:31 PM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business You’re in the worst phase because there is little feedback but a lot of work. They’re still a lot of work up until 4-5, but at least it feels rewarding once they learn to talk and really interact. It does get exponentially better. Toddlers are a lot of fun and so damn cute. Also I picture having a 7 and a 5 year old. That’s like the golden age of parenting. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194279) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:32 PM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan What if one hates babies and toddlers? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194283) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:37 PM Author: cracking harsh sound barrier digit ratio Lots of us do, except for our own. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194318) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:40 PM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business Even if you hate them all, it’s still only ~4 years out of an entire lifetime with a kid. I hate babies but toddlers are fun. Their toddler logic is funny. You don’t find it funny with other kids but with your own, you have the context of knowing them when they were literally helpless drooling retards so it’s genuinely cool the first time they figure something out. Even a cynical Russian like you is going to think it’s cool the first time your kid gives a treat to your dog. Now I tell my son, “give only one treat ok!” and he responds “yeah, 2 treats and he get fat!” They are learning from you and it’s cool.
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:45 PM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan You may be right. But 2 kids is definitely a shitshow, right? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194390) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:55 PM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business It’s a shitshow for like 1-2 years or so, so not long in the grand scheme of things. It’s also highly dependent on what sort of temperament your kids have.
I do think maybe you and Mandy shouldn’t have kids though. Not having any kids is a perfectly good choice. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:59 PM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan Assume the choice is 1 kid or 2. Is 1 tcr? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194478) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:03 PM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business For you guys, 0 or 1. When you’re not all in, 2+ really doesn’t make sense. Plus you guys are old now. I really don’t think 35+ year olds should be having kids period because it makes for less effective parenting when you don’t have the same physical and mental energy of a younger person. I’m 37 and wish I had kids earlier, but I didn’t get married til 33.
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:13 PM Author: shaky ticket booth people should 100% have kids earlier (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194579) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 3:12 PM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan Even I agree with this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36195208) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 3:13 PM Author: shaky ticket booth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36195217) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 3:20 PM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan Basically, I think ITE pushed a lot of people in our generation into having kids much later than we otherwise would. My wife's career really just got back on track. She just spent many years not being able to break $100k, to finally making around $200k. If we were both making we what make now many years earlier, that would have moved up our timeline for kids too. Instead, we had to do the stupid starter home thing before getting a kid-appropriate house and worry about getting our careers setup. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36195283) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:36 PM Author: Odious adulterous pit trust fund Yeah, awesome. We both want at least one more. If it's a boy, we'll stop. If it's another girl, I'll probably want to try again. Really want a boy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194314) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:22 PM Author: Cowardly walnut athletic conference Have one and thought about stopping but will probably wait a couple years and go for another. Can see the appeal of one but only children are usually weird. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194194) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:53 PM Author: Marvelous anal theater stage No. You need at least two so they have someone to grow up together with, and, God forbid, should you and your wife die at the hands of a recreational boomer pilot beach crash landing, your kids will still have each other to lean on.
I think three is probably best, because they can form their own clan at that point and you barely need to raise them. They really don't want anything to do with you. They'll just play together. You just feed them and beat them when they get out of line. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 1:59 PM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business 3 is also ideal because if 1 died, there are still 2 siblings left for each other.
I can’t help but be morbid in how I think of these things sometimes. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:01 PM Author: Odious adulterous pit trust fund i do this. so does jim_kelly above. nbd.
3 sucks in that middle children can feel neglected, through no fault of the parents' (i was a middle child). but ultimately this is small apples. 3 seems just right in terms of family size. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:22 PM Author: titillating pearly temple place of business My husband is also the middle and felt neglected growing up but is now the favorite since he’s the only one that’s given them grandchildren. The older brother isn’t married and is unlikely to any time soon and the younger sister is waiting despite being married (not my place to tell her she’s making a mistake).
If you care about having grandchildren, 3 maximizes the chances you get a few. In this day and age where only Mexicans are having kids, and UMC people are waiting forever and pumping out 1-2 at most, grandchildren are not really on the horizon. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:25 PM Author: shaky ticket booth sometimes i look at obituaries and it's always bizarre to me when someone will die at like 80 and they leave behind 3 children but only 2 grandchildren.
i feel like we've talked about this before, but imo one of the biggest negatives to having kids later on is that you're getting rid of years that could be spent with grandkids, if you even live to see any at all. that's very sad and is something most people in the here and now don't think about. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:43 PM Author: cracking harsh sound barrier digit ratio all true. My parents absolutely light up around their grandkids, and my in-laws do, too. It can bring the whole family closer together. Holidays are more special with wide-eyed children around v. a bunch of people in their 60s/70s and 20s/30s opening the books they bought as gifts off each other's Amazon wish lists. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194923) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:02 PM Author: Marvelous anal theater stage True. Don't want to get Ordinary People'd. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194499) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 2:05 PM Author: startling lime organic girlfriend legal warrant (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36194520) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 3:00 PM Author: motley rambunctious elastic band I have 4. It’s a lot of work but I’m semi-retired and can spend half the day shuttling them around. PITA regardless.
I have life insurance policies on all of my kids too. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 3:21 PM Author: Azure macaca coldplay fan The bad news: your kid is dead
Good news: here's $500k |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 9:11 PM Author: motley rambunctious elastic band not really good news, but at least you recoup some of the financial investment (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36197408) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 3:13 PM Author: Bateful Persian Locus Not giving your child a sibling is cruel, imo. After the parents die, who’s left? Plus your kid will just grow up weird. If you don’t want at least two kids, you shouldn’t have kids at all. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36195219) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 3:50 PM Author: Internet-worthy maniacal meetinghouse dragon Never met a single child that wasnt incrediblely selfish. Their brains are wired to be concerned only about themselves (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36195478) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 6:19 PM Author: Hairraiser juggernaut The sweet spot is 5-7 kids. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36196504) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 9:11 PM Author: motley rambunctious elastic band at that point, stuff like which car you can drive and other things that would be no problem with fewer kids become exacerbated.
I checked out the airport shuttle type of cars and they all sucked big time. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 9:50 PM Author: cracking harsh sound barrier digit ratio And you're never going on a flight, ever. $700 * 2-4 ppl is hard enough to stomach. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36197653) |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 9:13 PM Author: low-t galvanic new version cannot believe posters have kids
very lulzy. |
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Date: June 6th, 2018 9:28 PM Author: hot mental disorder principal's office Brother I've got a basketball squad. What's up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3994700&forum_id=2#36197502) |