Hiding in bathroom stall to post/text

Staying at work til the evening out of some sense of obligation even though you aren't actually doing any work

Leaving to lunch early every day so you can take a long lunch without it looking weird (otherwise you'd be coming back after 1 pm)

Moving your mouse occasionally to avoid having your Skype show you as "away"

Scheduling an appointment at 2 pm so you can take a half day without taking any vacation time

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36404750)

i'm leaving

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36404816)

This one is the absolute worst. Thankfully my employer lets me change the settings from 5 minutes, but then some people get antsy when you don't immediately reply.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36404814)

At my V10 no one uses it except JR associates and litigation support people.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36405310)

EDIT: I mean it is not a credited sign of corporate slavery, unless you mean being a lawyer is corporate slavery, which I would agree with.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36404856)

Legal profession in a nutshell

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36412098)

Please find attached the first draft of the Merger Agreement. Thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36404904)

I switched my email sig to just my first name instead of thank, first name and it did wonders for my psyche.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36406280)

Bringing your work computer on the one week long vacation you have all year.

Setting an alarm for 3:50 am Bali time so you can dial into that conference call you won't meaningfully participate in.

Accurately and completely recording every six-minute increment you worked and logging it online by 5 pm on the next business day.

Abruptly getting off the phone with a junior colleague whenever a senior colleague calls.

Starting a new reply all email response when someone else replies all to the email you were responding to before you hit send.

Entering another man's scrawled, handwritten comments into the redline of a document even when you know those comments don't improve the draft.

Getting to work when it's still dark out. Leaving work later that day when it's dark again. Having that happen in October or March.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36405093)

https://www.amazon.com/WiebeTech-Programmable-Mouse-Jiggler-MJ-3/dp/B00MTZY7Y4

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36405397)

I have a stomach ulcer.

I feel too guilty to use sick time during work days for medical appointments.

I also have to grab my mouse & look interested at the screen every time someone walks by my office (also ready to close tab of non-work webpage).

Can’t close office door because people get suspicious.

I mastered the art of walking around hallways flustered long before I saw George do it on Seinfeld.

Also, having two monitors, & tilting one with non-work webpage away from door, & work related window on other monitor tilted to the door.

Also considering as inauspicious shoes as possible to avoid bathroom stall detection.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36405496)

Yep. This plus leave work carrying a ton of shit: I'd just grab a stack of papers, closing set, whatever from my desk and walk out to my car with it. Always look unapproachable.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36405734)

I am dressed in a t shirt, cotton shorts and flip flops today and sitting in our game room with my dir and VP to watch the england croatia game

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36405680)

I judge fats, but can understand how it happens to people who've sat at a desk with irregular sleep patterns and takeout for 20-25 years.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36408250)

“Oh haha no this isn’t me, I’m actually going to 32!”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4022992&forum_id=2#36417968)