Date: July 16th, 2018 4:29 PM
Author: glittery cruise ship stock car
My wife (28F) and I have been together for 7 years, married for 3 months.
I (27M) have lost about 65 lbs in the past year and have become a healthier person. She however, has gained a small amount of weight and has become extremely uncomfortable and insecure, despite me telling her every day that she is beautiful and that there is nothing wrong with the way she looks. I have always been extremely kind and encouraging to her and have strived to help her maintain a positive body image.
A few months ago leading up to our wedding, she asked for my help with getting healthy and slimming down, but whenever any advice was given she only pushed back ("I don't want to do it that way, I want to do it my way"). I gave up after a week or so.
Last week she confessed to me (unprovoked) that she had been going to the store almost once a day to buy a pint of ice cream, and that she could not stop eating snacks at work. A couple of days after that, she again asked for help and said "I'm ready to listen to you, I'm ready to get healthy". So yesterday, we went to the grocery store, we stocked up on healthy items, and went about our day. Later in the evening closer to supper, we were both enjoying a beer as we prepared supper. She then told me how hungry she was and just couldn't wait 30 minutes for it to be ready and proceeded to make herself a snack of chips and salsa.
Preface for the following: *There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a small snack before dinner*
About 10-15 chips and another beer in, I simply suggest to her that she "might want to think about not having too many chips since dinner will be ready soon." She asked what I meant by that, so without really stopping to think (dumb me) I said "you just drank 120 calories, and you've already just eaten about 300 calories worth of chips and salsa, you might want to slow down. " Once again, dumb me; I thought she may have been more receptive to that being that she had just asked for health/nutrition/eating advice a day before. I did not make the statement in a derogatory or demeaning tone, I was simply trying to be helpful.
To wrap up a long post, the night ended up with her telling me again "I don't want your help, I don't want to do it your way, I want to do it the way I want to, you're being too controlling of me", and me trying to talk through things with her but ultimately I ended up just saying "f this" and walking away out of complete frustration and confusion. We haven't spoken after that.
I'm at a loss and I'm not sure what to do.
TL;DR - Wife asks for help with health/weight/nutrition, gets hostile when help is given. Advice?
**edit** - Forgot to mention that female perspectives would be greatly appreciated.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027563&forum_id=2#36439015)