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American male lives through horror story after telling gf she's fat (DTP)
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Date: July 16th, 2018 11:51 PM Author: Adventurous house First let me begin by stating we have been dating for almost 4 years now and have been living together for almost 2 years. We are both close to graduating college and I /was/ sure I wanted to marry her once I got my degree and career steady.
About a year ago my girlfriend asked me why I wasn't coming on to her as often as I used to. We went from every night, to every other night, to then once or twice a week. Well, I should have probably read one of those "how do I tell my girlfriend she's getting fat" threads because I told her, honestly, without thinking it through that I was becoming less attracted to her because she has been steadily gaining weight since I met her.
When we met, she was approximately 5'6” 115lbs. Currently she weighs about 160-170lbs.
To me this wasn't the worst aspect, i tried explaining moreso it was her attitude about it. I tried to explain that I still think she is beautiful, but the fact that she would poke fun at her flab daily, turn off the lights during sex, and would change clothes for an hour because she "looks fat" was unattractive to me. The weight gain bothers me to some degree, I'll admit, but by no means am I strictly attracted to skinny girls. The most attractive thing to me is confidence, and I have shattered that completely.
The tears started rolling in, and basically now she resents me. She is incredibly insecure and lost any confidence she once had. I have apologized 1000 times about my choice of words, but she insists I am completely unattracted to her. I feel like a total asshole, and regret this more than anything in my life. I just feel like the worst kind of scum.
She no longer initiates sex at all, and ignores my advances. Some times she will accept them, a couple times a month, but later regresses into tears. At least several times a month she will cry all night, telling me I've broken her, how nobody will ever want her. I try to comfort her and tell her I still find her attractive and beautiful, but she insists I'm lying and she can't believe me because I said all those things before I called her fat, too.
She has been going to the gym for the last 3 or so months, but is not seeing results. I fully support and encourage her efforts, but she just breaks down in tears so often, and I feel a never ending guilt.
It seems impossible to go out together any more because she no longer trusts me. If I make more than a 1/16th of a second glance at anybody who is skinnier than her, she will be really, really, cold to me all day and cry about it. I feel awkward going anywhere because of this. I have even gone as far as unfriending every girl I knew on Facebook because she would cry that I'm looking at skinny bitches on my news feed.
At this point I'm just so unhappy. I know everything's my fault and the guilt just eats at my soul. I have so many sexual urges that are unfulfilled that I have to take sleeping pills every night just to sleep through it, because she will straight up reject me. I felt like my life was perfect until then, yet now I just feel horrible that I can't fix things any more than I have tried. Apologies, flowers, cards, notes. It's really affecting my life, I have failed all my classes for the past two semesters because I have been so depressed about fighting so much and "breaking" her.
I honestly love her, but I feel like I can't maintain and progress this relationship with so much regret. She clearly resents me. I feel like she just wants to break up with me, but she is afraid of being alone, and she fully support herself financially.
Does anybody have any advice? I love her, and I don't want to walk away, but my instincts tell me I should, as I have tried apologizing for a year now.
Tldr version - called my girlfriend fat, she hates me for it, cries constantly, has no confidence, feels "broken" and doesn't want to have sex or give sexual favors. Relationship isn't what it used to be. What can I do?
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Date: July 16th, 2018 11:52 PM Author: effete windowlicker school cafeteria It is amazing that "men" who are such pussies like this exist in real life. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442013) |
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Date: July 16th, 2018 11:58 PM Author: Adventurous house this is the reality (both the male version and the female version in this story) for most Americans (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442050) |
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Date: July 16th, 2018 11:53 PM Author: Khaki Self-absorbed Elastic Band "We are both close to graduating college"
umm... ATD bro. |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:01 AM Author: Adventurous house i dunno about that...
"It's really affecting my life, I have failed all my classes for the past two semesters because I have been so depressed about fighting so much and "breaking" her. " |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:00 AM Author: Silver Temple Gay Wizard So a guy that doesn't want to fuck a fat chick is worried that she's not giving him sex? #Walkaway (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442059) |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:06 AM Author: Chocolate vigorous associate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442097) |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:05 AM Author: Chocolate vigorous associate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442094) |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:25 AM Author: Fighting Nubile Hall link please, i want to see him get ripped on by other commenters (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442225) |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:28 AM Author: irradiated indecent church (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442245) |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:28 AM Author: demanding rigpig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442247) |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:32 AM Author: Adventurous house https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1ff6c8/i_24m_told_my_girlfriend_23f_shes_getting_fat_she/ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442264) |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:29 AM Author: irradiated indecent church "The most attractive thing to me is confidence, and I have shattered that completely. ... I feel like a total asshole, and regret this more than anything in my life. I just feel like the worst kind of scum". |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:30 AM Author: irradiated indecent church im literally moving to russia (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442255) |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:30 AM Author: demanding rigpig be careful it's going to get nuked soon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442259) |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:31 AM Author: irradiated indecent church cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442261) |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:31 AM Author: Histrionic balding university When we met, she was approximately 5'6” 115lbs. Currently she weighs about 160-170lbs. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442262) |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:33 AM Author: Adventurous house that's NORMAL, U BIGOT (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442268) |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:43 AM Author: Fighting Nubile Hall that thread is 5 years old. do you just spend your evenings searching r/relationships for fat girlfriend threads? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36442321) |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 12:46 AM Author: Adventurous house if that was 5 years ago, imagine how much she weighs now
and she's probably had 4-5 more bfs since then |
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Date: July 17th, 2018 9:55 AM Author: Adventurous house (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4027971&forum_id=2#36443489) |