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CHARLES DIGITAL here, with a weeklong tour of the top sites in EGYPT

...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/08/18
read this again
contagious ape heaven
  09/10/18
TLDR also, fix whatever issue is causing the apostrophe's...
Outnumbered theatre
  10/18/18
I'd guess it's something to do with Rach's update and frankl...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/18/18
lol @ strivers at the BMW museum
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/08/18
Good job avoiding all the muzzies in Munich.
sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap
  09/08/18
Also bizzare job of avoiding all beer in Munich, even in the...
pearly mind-boggling house
  09/21/18
alcohol = poison
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/03/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/03/18
...
Cruel-hearted cream reading party crackhouse
  09/08/18
All right, one four-hour Lufthansa flight later, you're in C...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/09/18
...
Khaki spot fanboi
  09/09/18
https://imgur.com/a/PEkruKK OUT these poasters
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/09/18
180
internet-worthy persian state
  09/10/18
...
coiffed goyim
  09/10/18
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boyish brunch dog poop
  09/11/18
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concupiscible shimmering site wagecucks
  09/12/18
180 crocodood
Dashing marketing idea keepsake machete
  09/13/18
...
diverse station
  09/13/18
...
diverse station
  09/13/18
180 catdoods
autistic national laser beams
  09/21/18
Ramses II et al near end are god tier
Fragrant bespoke chapel giraffe
  12/27/19
...
contagious ape heaven
  09/09/18
180
magenta flirting university pervert
  09/09/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/09/18
...
Gay erotic indirect expression native
  09/10/18
...
Smoky trailer park fortuitous meteor
  09/10/18
this is trademark infrigement
clear comical stage
  09/10/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/10/18
...
aromatic public bath incel
  09/10/18
Let’s keep exploring the Egyptian Museum! Even after finishi...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/11/18
It’s a pretty great museum isn’t it. Although I remember it ...
contagious ape heaven
  09/11/18
The signage is very limited for all but the most famous item...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/11/18
Now that you’re saying it I remember using the Rough Guide f...
contagious ape heaven
  09/11/18
Lol, I used the same. It’s a very nice guide.
passionate hairless library mood
  09/11/18
180
contagious ape heaven
  09/12/18
I assume they still haven’t opened the new museum they have ...
Silver trip set
  09/11/18
Nope! They've moved several of King Tut's items though, so t...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/11/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/11/18
Libyans DONE HERE
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/11/18
...
ruddy lay
  09/13/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/13/18
earl jizzing pants SEVERAL times reading OP, why?
dark bipolar pit juggernaut
  09/11/18
Hey CharlesXII, you ever heard the theory that Ramses II was...
Hateful Sex Offender Factory Reset Button
  09/11/18
I haven't heard that one in particular, but I have heard the...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/12/18
What do you think of these hieroglyphs?
Hateful Sex Offender Factory Reset Button
  09/12/18
Not loading properly.
passionate hairless library mood
  09/12/18
180 dedication and content creation
soul-stirring olive point
  09/12/18
Brother we are just getting started. Sorry about the slow pr...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/12/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/12/18
...
contagious ape heaven
  09/12/18
bro i'd be happy be reading the tail end of this as i ignore...
soul-stirring olive point
  09/12/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/08/18
180. Read every word and opened every pic. Loved reading a...
Fiercely-loyal cracking toilet seat indian lodge
  09/12/18
180
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/12/18
...
diverse station
  09/15/18
...
magenta flirting university pervert
  09/18/18
TY! Huge treat to see pics from inside the museum!
Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth
  09/13/18
who knew charles was such a real-breaking badass if he di...
soul-stirring olive point
  09/13/18
After that long trek through the Egyptian Museum, it’s time ...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/13/18
Great post Who is the figure of the prisoner in the cell, s...
contagious ape heaven
  09/13/18
At least in the English signage, they just attribute the pri...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/13/18
One or two of your phrasings made me think of reading CYOA b...
contagious ape heaven
  09/13/18
great read again, ty
Fiercely-loyal cracking toilet seat indian lodge
  09/13/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/13/18
tbf they totally kicked ass before they got kicked in the as...
contagious ape heaven
  09/13/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/13/18
...
Fluffy Travel Guidebook Theater
  09/15/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/13/18
this whole thread is AWESOME!!
ruddy lay
  09/13/18
Best part is, it all really happened. Just like the IFNB thr...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/13/18
...
ruddy lay
  09/13/18
A couple things I forgot in Day 1: -In the King Tut colle...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/14/18
Do they still have metal detectors at all the hotel entrance...
contagious ape heaven
  09/14/18
Only at the second hotel for me. There was also a recurri...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/14/18
You sleep horribly on your second night in Egypt: It turns o...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/15/18
180 ty
Fluffy Travel Guidebook Theater
  09/15/18
180
diverse station
  09/15/18
a scholarly tract
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/15/18
...
clear comical stage
  09/15/18
When my wife and I went into one of the smaller pyramids, th...
Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth
  09/15/18
LOL, just wait until we get to Luxor, brother. Cairenes are ...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/15/18
You try to Kino escalate w/ Bossi? lol
Odious cruise ship knife
  09/15/18
She is a VIRTUOUS MUSLIM WOMAN good sir and would be repulse...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/15/18
Did you talk to any Musbro's with multiple wives? I spoke wi...
Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth
  09/15/18
thanks for this, ive been to all the places you have so far ...
vibrant impressive legend
  09/15/18
My sister is agitating for me to go on a trip with her and h...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/15/18
The women in Russia are beautiful! You will be tempted
Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth
  09/15/18
Tempted to what?
passionate hairless library mood
  09/15/18
I'm going to Moscow next month. Flights are cheap in October...
sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap
  09/15/18
is there gonna be another update today since you have more t...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/15/18
How did you figure out the secret of DIO's stand?
Crystalline Titillating Famous Landscape Painting
  09/15/18
Next page please
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/16/18
Sorry been out thingdoing all weekend. No time to go through...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/16/18
...
Stimulating Box Office
  09/16/18
Finally caught up on this. Very 180, and probably won't wan...
Stimulating Box Office
  09/16/18
great thread egypt seems like a shithole; or, in otherwords...
razzle-dazzle hall
  09/16/18
Leaving the scenic view, you ask Bossi her opinion on differ...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/17/18
Is it true Obelix broke off the Sphinx’s nose?
contagious ape heaven
  09/17/18
Unlikely. We can tell the nose was pried off using chisels a...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/17/18
So a Taliban-style impetus has a long history. Huh.
contagious ape heaven
  09/17/18
A dense and scholarly tome! I had no idea Saqqara had so muc...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/17/18
180
soul-stirring olive point
  09/18/18
LOL, while working on tonight's post, found this hilarious e...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/18/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/17/18
Charles there is some scholarship regarding the citadel that...
razzle tripping mental disorder
  09/17/18
It's a nifty event, but I'm really tired of real-life things...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/17/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/18/18
great writing 1800000
magenta flirting university pervert
  09/18/18
Your driver speeds along the roads south of Cairo (a frighte...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/18/18
cr if you go to dashur you literally have your run of the pl...
razzle tripping mental disorder
  09/19/18
...
magenta flirting university pervert
  09/19/18
wtf who steals vegetables
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/19/18
Cr what a cunt. Muslims are awful
diverse station
  09/20/18
the Dahshur site looks incredible looking forward to the ep...
contagious ape heaven
  09/19/18
...
Fiercely-loyal cracking toilet seat indian lodge
  09/19/18
lol @ some inbred egyptian being a "chad"
soul-stirring olive point
  09/20/18
did you got to the spitfire club in alex?
Electric senate
  09/19/18
Did not go to Alexandria at all. Someday, perhaps.
passionate hairless library mood
  09/19/18
Were there any situations where you impressed a tour guide w...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/19/18
Yeah both of my Egyptologist guides were clearly used to tou...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/19/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/19/18
Time for your third and final full day in Cairo. You have an...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/20/18
180^180 hawaiimo who will possibly never go to cairo and ...
magenta flirting university pervert
  09/20/18
...
diverse station
  09/20/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/20/18
180 scuffle with the fuzz that Mogamma place looks killself...
contagious ape heaven
  09/20/18
do you think the guy with the cane is going to the Egyptian ...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/20/18
...
Fragrant bespoke chapel giraffe
  12/27/19
bread dude is ALPHA af
soul-stirring olive point
  09/20/18
180
razzle tripping mental disorder
  09/20/18
...
Fiercely-loyal cracking toilet seat indian lodge
  09/20/18
Your tour today isn’t as broad or as long as yesterday’s. In...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/21/18
Another photo from elsewhere, to give a better sense of how ...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/21/18
Incredible. I’m hoping to make a delayed Ethiopia trip next ...
contagious ape heaven
  09/21/18
180. Make a thread about it.
passionate hairless library mood
  09/21/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/21/18
Definitely. No clue if the source material will be as rich a...
contagious ape heaven
  09/23/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/03/18
...
diverse station
  09/21/18
In the 2nd pic of the Muqattam mountain, what is the religio...
contagious ape heaven
  09/21/18
That's my assumption, but I can't read Arabic.
passionate hairless library mood
  09/21/18
Christians are 180
soul-stirring olive point
  09/21/18
...
magenta flirting university pervert
  09/21/18
pls respond
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/23/18
The second half of today’s trip requires traveling about thr...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/23/18
How do Copts dress? Shirt and pants like othet Egyptians, or...
contagious ape heaven
  09/24/18
Men don't dress differently, but outside of church Coptic wo...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/24/18
Fantastic. It didn't even occur to me to go to these sites w...
Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth
  09/24/18
Solid, Orthodox bros. It's an iconostasis, btw. Not an &q...
sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap
  09/24/18
An iconostasis is literally an altar screen, but in any case...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/24/18
I'm tempting to create a poast like this for my upcoming tri...
sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap
  09/24/18
DOGGY DIGITAL?
passionate hairless library mood
  09/24/18
my dog is a bigger BOBBY DIGITAL fan than I am
sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap
  09/24/18
...and he doesn't even have a passport!
passionate hairless library mood
  09/24/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/24/18
you've very mean to the Copts over how cheesy their tourist ...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/24/18
Nah the thing that pissed me off the most was the St George ...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/24/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/24/18
...
magenta flirting university pervert
  09/24/18
Your last stop in Old Cairo is the museum you passed back by...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/25/18
So Coptic was basically written in Greek script? How Helleni...
contagious ape heaven
  09/25/18
Well, to be clear, while the west uses "Copt" to r...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/25/18
Interesting ty. Is the Coptic language completely dead or d...
contagious ape heaven
  09/25/18
The Coptic Christians use it in their liturgy, but otherwise...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/25/18
lol @ the naked dude's animal being a snake
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/25/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/25/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/30/18
180
diverse station
  09/25/18
...
sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap
  09/25/18
bump 4 Black Jesus
razzle tripping mental disorder
  09/25/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/25/18
Pls respond
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/26/18
You ready for day 4? You’d better be. Your trip is only half...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/28/18
180
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/28/18
Dr. Daniel Jackson just came.
sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap
  09/28/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/28/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/28/18
...
contagious ape heaven
  09/28/18
incredible. i can't believe they let people in that tomb! ...
magenta flirting university pervert
  10/09/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/28/18
those are some sick tomb paintings
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/28/18
They are. Sadly, I'm a bit worried they'll totally overshado...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/28/18
Well, Nefertari’s tomb is going to be impossible to top, but...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/30/18
OK I’m inspired to go back to Egypt and check out Luxor (onl...
contagious ape heaven
  09/30/18
I honestly have no idea; nothing particularly interesting wa...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/30/18
Why are tour guides banned from the tombs? So they don’t ann...
contagious ape heaven
  09/30/18
I never asked, but a few guesses: -As you say, a loud tou...
passionate hairless library mood
  09/30/18
when you lay it out like that, I bet it’s the bribes
contagious ape heaven
  09/30/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  09/30/18
While we wait for Charles to find this thread again, your bo...
swashbuckling tanning salon
  10/02/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/03/18
...
yapping temple
  10/03/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/03/18
...
contagious ape heaven
  10/03/18
99% chance they pronounce it Care-Oh
razzle tripping mental disorder
  10/07/18
they pronounce it KAY-RO in Illinois
swashbuckling tanning salon
  10/08/18
...
coiffed goyim
  10/08/18
deserves its own thread, i totally missed this, 180
Gay erotic indirect expression native
  10/25/18
...
pale forum deer antler
  10/03/18
...
contagious ape heaven
  10/06/18
...
contagious ape heaven
  10/07/18
...
coiffed goyim
  10/08/18
Today we're going to a city on a major river, with a huge py...
swashbuckling tanning salon
  10/08/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/08/18
coil of rope + eight cattle hobbles
clear comical stage
  10/09/18
...
Gay erotic indirect expression native
  10/25/18
...
Cruel-hearted cream reading party crackhouse
  10/08/18
Sorry I'll try to get back at this this week. I haven't even...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/08/18
With Hatshepsut's Temple completed, it's time to head for Lu...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/09/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/09/18
...
contagious ape heaven
  10/09/18
sorry this is a BOBBY DIGITAL thread now
clear comical stage
  10/09/18
Fair enough, I don't have to finish.
passionate hairless library mood
  10/09/18
I'm sure if BOBBY DIGITAL were here right now he'd encourage...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/09/18
...
magenta flirting university pervert
  10/09/18
Our last stop on the west bank today is the Ramesseum. Despi...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/13/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/13/18
maybe the best set of pics
soul-stirring olive point
  10/25/18
Bonus post: For a very large portion of your time tramping a...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/13/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/13/18
The sun is setting, and it’s time to head back across ...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/14/18
JUICE JUICE JUICE
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/14/18
I will be finished with my Eastern European capitals trip, a...
sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap
  10/14/18
Likely true! But will you be creating as much CONTENT?
passionate hairless library mood
  10/14/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/14/18
also, lol @ Cuckmosis IV
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/15/18
Nice post. I too was taken hostage and made to go to a ...
Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth
  10/15/18
180 You can actually see the sugar syrup dripping off those...
contagious ape heaven
  10/16/18
It’s time for your big day trip! While there are a ton...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/18/18
There are permanently and deliberately unfinished houses exa...
contagious ape heaven
  10/18/18
If you get low marks and don’t know somebody, you stud...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/18/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/18/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/18/18
did their currency split in 2016? it went from 7 to 17 overn...
Floppy Very Tactful Goal In Life Property
  10/18/18
For a long time the LE was pegged to the US dollar, and befo...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/18/18
all the travel forums about Egypt are full of old timers com...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/18/18
Seems odd. At least for actual sites, it looks like the gove...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/19/18
apparently oil prices are way up in Egypt the last few month...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/19/18
180 thread
Thriller haunted graveyard
  10/19/18
After an hour of driving back in the direction of Luxor, you...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/19/18
they are WORSHIPING that light bulb
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/19/18
the Goddess Nut made me think of Kafka
contagious ape heaven
  10/19/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/19/18
this guy's gonna turn 1 day into at least 3 poasts
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/19/18
I've done that for literally every day so far.
passionate hairless library mood
  10/19/18
Now is probably as good a time as any for a short pause to t...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/19/18
the toilet paper thing is standard in India too (if you do c...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/20/18
I got Lion Kinged multiple times by Egyptian scammers. I was...
Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth
  10/20/18
like literally lion kinged?
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/20/18
Around 5 pm you make it back to Luxor, tip your guide, and s...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/21/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/21/18
Looks like you will finish your thread before I start mine.
sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap
  10/21/18
...
provocative cobalt selfie
  10/21/18
jalapeno fries needs to be a thing
contagious ape heaven
  10/25/18
It’s fascinating to see humblr technology has progress...
clear comical stage
  10/25/18
On your last full day in Egypt, you get up at the crack of d...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/29/18
poasting in historic thread
magenta flirting university pervert
  10/29/18
I see what you did there
contagious ape heaven
  10/29/18
...
magenta flirting university pervert
  10/29/18
...
contagious ape heaven
  10/29/18
6337985 stimming scene
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/29/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/29/18
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/29/18
After a quick jaunt across the river and a stop by the ticke...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/31/18
Wow 1800
magenta flirting university pervert
  10/31/18
...
contagious ape heaven
  10/31/18
180
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/31/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  10/31/18
moar
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  11/02/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  11/04/18
Tomb of Sennedjem is LIT AS FUCK, that may be the coolest pa...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  11/04/18
This is it. After seven days of traveling and a whopping two...
passionate hairless library mood
  11/10/18
180 thanks for this thread
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  11/10/18
You maed it!
sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap
  11/10/18
epic thread ty for your service
magenta flirting university pervert
  11/11/18
...
contagious ape heaven
  11/11/18
Thank you, Sir
Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth
  11/12/18
so where to next?
yapping temple
  11/10/18
I actually did a trip to Kansas City with my family a month ...
passionate hairless library mood
  11/10/18
OUT the BBQ places you ate at
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  11/12/18
Jack Stack > Arthur Bryant's > Joe's, but all were ext...
passionate hairless library mood
  11/13/18
180
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  11/13/18
https://www.npr.org/2018/11/11/666704847/archaeologists-disc...
magenta flirting university pervert
  11/11/18
C12 needs to hie back to Egypt and take some pictures
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  11/11/18
...
passionate hairless library mood
  12/27/18
Awesome thread. OP, what would be a problem, if any, w ju...
pale forum deer antler
  01/29/19
My specific cheap hotel in Cairo did have a faulty air condi...
passionate hairless library mood
  01/29/19
180 BTW this pic of yours is goddamn amazing. The human ...
pale forum deer antler
  01/29/19
thank you. did you do luxor the king tut stuff? I'd like t...
pale forum deer antler
  01/30/19
Luxor is 180 but I actually skipped King Tut's tomb. It cost...
passionate hairless library mood
  01/30/19
...
insanely creepy honey-headed corner
  10/21/19
Started reading this at 1 am. It’s now 2:30 and I&rsqu...
Fragrant bespoke chapel giraffe
  12/27/19
180
passionate hairless library mood
  12/27/19
...
Slimy locale
  02/19/20
...
dark bipolar pit juggernaut
  07/15/20
...
Painfully honest sable principal's office
  07/16/22
...
diverse station
  07/16/22
Chucks guide is pretty spot on. On day three here. Between h...
Spruce cerebral useless brakes stag film
  08/11/22
180, DESCRIBE your own visit.
Mentally impaired flatulent business firm double fault
  08/14/22
...
Mentally impaired flatulent business firm double fault
  01/31/24


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: September 8th, 2018 5:50 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36771020)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 10th, 2018 12:50 PM
Author: contagious ape heaven

read this again

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36781187)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 18th, 2018 2:45 AM
Author: Outnumbered theatre

TLDR

also, fix whatever issue is causing the apostrophe's to look like emoji questions.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37047721)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 18th, 2018 3:08 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

I'd guess it's something to do with Rach's update and frankly I have no interest in replacing all of them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37047774)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 8th, 2018 6:02 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

lol @ strivers at the BMW museum

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36771094)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 8th, 2018 6:10 PM
Author: sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap

Good job avoiding all the muzzies in Munich.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36771139)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 21st, 2018 7:29 AM
Author: pearly mind-boggling house

Also bizzare job of avoiding all beer in Munich, even in the English Garden.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36855627)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 3rd, 2018 7:55 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

alcohol = poison

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36950458)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 3rd, 2018 7:58 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36950465)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 8th, 2018 6:46 PM
Author: Cruel-hearted cream reading party crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36771362)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 9th, 2018 2:31 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

All right, one four-hour Lufthansa flight later, you're in Cairo! Your first job is getting into the country. Unlike with the EU, you need a visa to get into Egypt, but no worries: It's simply a way for them to extract some extra foreign currency from visitors. They don't even ask any questions.

https://mysharmadventure.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/IMG_29921.jpg

After getting your visa, no fewer than four different security personnel check your passport, but none of them ask any questions. They just make sure you have your visa stamp and then wave you on. Yeah, get used to that sort of thing.

One you enter the baggage claim area, you're immediately accosted by a horde of aggressive Egyptian cab touts. Look out! They're trying to get you to massively overpay for a trip downtown. One tout opens by proposing 500 LE for a trip. What a joke! Don't even think about paying more than 150 LE for a trip at current exchange rates.

After waiting way too long to hash out negotiations for a cab, you finally get downtown and check in to your hotel, the Osiris Hotel in downtown Cairo. It's not a luxurious experience, but it's a good location and has free WiFi.

After a few hours of sleep, you get your first experience with Egyptian cuisine at breakfast. Here's an omelet:

https://imgur.com/a/BXfrIHM

Oh boy!

This isn't a day for waiting, though. The Egyptian Museum opens at 9 am and we're getting there the moment it opens.

On the way over, you pass a bunch of catdoods who have colonized a motorcycle:

https://imgur.com/a/PEkruKK

You also pass your first Christian church in Cairo. It's an ARMENIAN CATHOLIC Church, meaning it follows the Armenian Rite but is in full communion with Rome.

https://imgur.com/a/SxJ1pAt

Uh oh! To get to the Museum, you're gonna have to cross a street.

https://imgur.com/a/HZtBUpH

Egyptian streets are like the Wild West. No lanes, no right of way, no mercy. Crossing the street is like playing a game of Frogger. If you're worried about dying, a tip: Just wait for an Egyptian to start crossing and stay a little downstream of them.

After a few close encounters with Cairene motor vehicles, you finally make it:

https://imgur.com/a/vPDEcUw

This is the Egyptian Museum, the crown jewel of Egyptian antiquities from the Neolithic Period all the way down to the Ptolomies.

The facade of the Museum lists the great kings who reigned at each of its five capitals: Thini, Memphis, Thebes, Sai, and Alexandria. Thini is Egypt's most ancient capital, and if you zoom on its box, you'll see that among its 9 great kings are the gods Osiris, Typhon (Set), and Horus, as well as Menes, the semi-legendary unifier of Upper and Lower Egypt. In Sai's box, you'll see the Persian kings Darius and Artaxerxes, and in the Alexandria box, you'll see Alexander, Cleopatra, and a set of legendary Roman emperors from Augustus down to Justinian.

https://imgur.com/a/w7b1gT6

https://imgur.com/a/aJdPUs0

You head inside. One of the first attractions is the famous Narmer Palette, among the oldest historic documents in history, dating all the way back to 3100 BC. It shows Narmer overpowering his enemies, using artistic forms that would remain standard for thousands of years. On one side he wears the crown of Upper Egypt, and on the other the crown of Lower Egypt, so many scholars believe this palette symbolizes the first unification of Egypt:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/be/Narmer_Palette.jpg/1280px-Narmer_Palette.jpg

You also see a colossal statue of Ramses II (get used to that phrase), though this one was hijacked by his son Merenptah, who chiseled his own name on the statue to take credit for it.

https://imgur.com/a/IOOf1NE

On a less colossal scale, there's the small granite statue of Hetepdief, a priest of the 2nd dynasty:

https://imgur.com/a/W5Msx3m

The entryway is filling up really quickly as people pour into the museum, so instead of sticking around here, you head straight to the back for one of the Museum's best exhibits, the Amarna Room.

Egyptian art was unbelievably consistent from 3100 BC all the way up past the New Kingdom. But there was a big exception: In the 1300s Pharaoh Amenhotep IV launched a religious revolution, suppressing the cult of Amun-Ra and the other Egyptian deities and instead promoting a form a monotheism focused on the god of the solar disc, Aten. He accordingly changed his name to Akhenaten, founded a new capital at Amarna, and for about 15 years, Egyptian art went fucking bonkers. The weirdness starts with Akhenaten himself, who commissioned statues showing himself with cartoonish, hermaphroditic features.

https://imgur.com/a/wR0H7OQ

https://imgur.com/a/QAHJtzf

Another feature of Amarna-period art is the use of elongated heads, which certainly must egg on the "Pyramids were built by grey aliens" crowd.

https://imgur.com/a/ZtGX5LX

Yet another unusual feature was how the pharaoh was portrayed. Traditionally, the pharaoh is always shown in his public role, serving the Gods, unifying Egypt, smiting enemies, and so forth. But Akhenaten uniquely had himself portrayed in domestic scenes, spending time alone with his wife and dotters:

https://imgur.com/a/lFeCvNv

After finishing up with the Amarna room, it's time to head upstairs before the crowds grow too large to see the Museum's most famous exhibit: The gold of King Tutankhamun.

King Tut was Akhenaten's son, and originally went by Tutankhaten, but he changed his name when he ended the Amarna revolution and restored the old cult of Amun-Ra. A minor pharaoh who died before turning 20, Tut is infamous today because his tomb was found completely intact, with all its gold and other burial goods still inside. Today, these goods are on display in the museum. Pictures are totally banned, but the one guard is overwhelmed by the crowd, so you manage to sneak a shot of Tut's golden death mask:

https://imgur.com/a/EMWY3WS

You sneak some other photos of his jewelry and his outer sarcophagus:

https://imgur.com/a/CeDmX4A

https://imgur.com/a/FyqjgJz

https://imgur.com/a/VlhpHgG

https://imgur.com/a/LhJD9Fg

You then go to check out Tut's chariots, but you can't! Egypt is building a new, bigger museum out by the Pyramids, and the chariot has been moved there in advance of its expected opening within the next few years.

https://imgur.com/a/sFlqQFt

This footstool allows the pharaoh to ALWAYS rest his feet upon his conquered enemies:

https://imgur.com/a/7aNhKrQ

This box holds jars that held the internal organs removed during mummification:

https://imgur.com/a/Uafx3JJ

Speaking of mummies, you decide to head over to the museum's other major exhibit, its numerous mummies recovered from Egyptian tombs.

First, there's a room for an underappreciated phenomenon: Animal mummies. They have a giant mummified crocodile:

https://imgur.com/a/mQT9C7v

There's also baboons and dogs, among other things:

https://imgur.com/a/LeUUgGG

https://imgur.com/a/C7eIFnN

Sometimes, the Egyptians cut off and mummified individual parts of animals, with the idea that the part could then be eaten repeatedly by the dead in the afterlife:

https://imgur.com/a/0JA2oeD

There's even fake mummies. Mummification was a big business, and sometimes the poor were scammed with fakes that were simply filled with sand!

https://imgur.com/a/6Cjl4ab

What isn't fake, though, are the royal mummies recovered from the Valley of the Kings. In a separate room with careful climate control, some of the greatest New Kingdom kings rest in a state of remarkable preservation. Ramses II reigned for more than 60 years, and you'll see a fuckton of his statues on this trip, but now you can see the man himself (once again, photos are BANNED and you sneak a few when you can get away with it):

https://imgur.com/a/TTDSV5E

Merneptah, son of Ramses II, is a popular contender for the Exodus pharaoh:

https://imgur.com/a/KOxmtOm

Thutmose III was the greatest conqueror in Egyptian history, campaigning as far as Mesopotamia and extending the Pharaoh's rule into Palestine and Nubia.

https://imgur.com/a/mot2PHH

Hatshepsut's mummy notes that she was fat and had bad teeth:

https://imgur.com/a/cEogcHm

Some of the mummies still have remarkably well-preserved hair:

https://imgur.com/a/PsnS3tT

A sign notes that this baby mummy had its head ripped off in 2011 during the revolution, when looters and rioters broke into the Egyptian Museum:

https://imgur.com/a/wL230pf

Nearby is a fragment of the Palermo Stone (the biggest fragment is in Palermo, hence the name). Of uncertain origin, the stone lists the pharaohs of the first five dynasties, their important deeds, and the height of the Nile in each year. It's one of the earliest written historic records we have in Egypt.

https://imgur.com/a/HLBXxIJ

A set of three statues commemorates ancient Egyptian naked bodybuilding:

https://imgur.com/a/NTvOel3

Believe it or not, you're still only halfway through the museum! You decide to pause, take a break, and post on Zozo for a bit.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36775545)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 9th, 2018 2:32 PM
Author: Khaki spot fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36775548)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 9th, 2018 2:45 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

https://imgur.com/a/PEkruKK

OUT these poasters

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36775640)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 10th, 2018 12:38 PM
Author: internet-worthy persian state

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36781115)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 10th, 2018 12:39 PM
Author: coiffed goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36781119)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 11th, 2018 12:17 PM
Author: boyish brunch dog poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36787645)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 12th, 2018 2:21 PM
Author: concupiscible shimmering site wagecucks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36795021)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 13th, 2018 4:25 PM
Author: Dashing marketing idea keepsake machete

180 crocodood

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36802875)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 13th, 2018 4:52 PM
Author: diverse station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36803067)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 13th, 2018 4:53 PM
Author: diverse station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36803068)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 21st, 2018 3:14 AM
Author: autistic national laser beams

180 catdoods

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36855341)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2019 2:25 AM
Author: Fragrant bespoke chapel giraffe

Ramses II et al near end are god tier

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#39332528)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 9th, 2018 2:51 PM
Author: contagious ape heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36775668)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 9th, 2018 2:52 PM
Author: magenta flirting university pervert

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36775672)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 9th, 2018 4:47 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36776290)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 10th, 2018 12:48 PM
Author: Gay erotic indirect expression native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36781178)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 10th, 2018 12:51 PM
Author: Smoky trailer park fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36781197)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 10th, 2018 12:55 PM
Author: clear comical stage

this is trademark infrigement

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36781226)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 10th, 2018 5:56 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36783114)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 10th, 2018 7:23 PM
Author: aromatic public bath incel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36783621)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 11th, 2018 12:16 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Let’s keep exploring the Egyptian Museum! Even after finishing with Tut’s treasure room and the Mummies, there’s plenty of other stuff to still see. Like this golden Horus head:

https://imgur.com/a/qYKhV88

These tiny golden flies were handed out to Egyptian soldiers to honor their bravery, like an ancient Medal of Honor.

https://imgur.com/a/C6TDwjy

This golden statue used to be really incredible, but then looters destroyed it in 2011. Sad!

https://imgur.com/a/phhIgkD

It’s an ancient Egyptian board game! We wouldn’t want the dead getting bored in the afterlife.

https://imgur.com/a/IXdqERG

One room is dedicated to the many, many copies of the Egyptian Book of the Dead that have been recovered from tombs. These texts explained to the spirits of the dead how to navigate the challenges of the afterlife so they can reach Osiris and, if they are sufficiently righteous, be admitted to paradise. This scene shows the weighing of the heart, where if a person’s heart is heavy with sin, it is fed to Ammit, the part-crocodile, part-lion, part-hippo demon of retribution. If your heart is fed to Ammit, you die forever.

https://imgur.com/a/CdyN6eX

Another papyrus shows a really unusual scene: Giant mice being served by cats! This “satirical papyrus” is often believed to be a commentary on the Hyksos invasions, when a chariot-using culture from Asia temporarily conquered Egypt.

https://imgur.com/a/7j32CYw

This kooky wooden statue is the symbol of the ka, the spirit double Egyptians believed each person possessed. Egyptian afterlife beliefs were premised on the notion that each person’s ka lived on after death.

https://imgur.com/a/Z10lmOF

Once Greek culture penetrated Egypt during the Ptolomaic period, it greatly altered Egyptian funerary art. For one, paintings could get far more realistic. This painting shows two brothers who may have died together in battle:

https://imgur.com/a/B4v0PaA

Another late innovation was “mummy masks,” realistic paintings of the deceased’s face that were painted on wooden boards and then placed on top of their mummies.

https://imgur.com/a/KtSWnJb

Some masks were fully sculpted instead of being painted:

https://imgur.com/a/ovkZDRn

All right, now it’s time to head back to the first floor, now that the museum is more evenly populated. The first floor is a little more coherently organized, with some big items in the central atrium, plus a chronological path through Egyptian history going clockwise around the outside.

The central atrium has the world’s largest collection of pyramidions, the decorated capstones that were placed atop finished pyramids. This black granite pyramidion is from the collapsed Black Pyramid of Amenemhat III at Dahshur.

https://imgur.com/a/IGAWtrZ

You also see the famous Israel Stele. While Egypt figures prominently in the Bible at many points, the Israelites are totally absent from Egyptian sources. The one exception is this stele, in which the pharaoh Merneptah boasts that “Israel is laid waste, its seed is no more.” This is also the oldest extant reference anywhere to Israel, and the stele’s existence makes Merneptah a popular contender for the Exodus pharaoh, among those who believe the Exodus happened.

https://imgur.com/a/PCELVpc

A colossal statue shows Akhenaten’s father Amenophis III chilling with his wife and three dotters.

https://imgur.com/a/UGOeQx4

Oh, hey, a bunch of Egyptian boy scouts are here! And yes, they’re still boy scounts. No all-gender “Scouting BSA” nonsense here.

https://imgur.com/a/elVhmOs

Now, you finally decide to travel chronologically around the first floor. One of the first sites, then, is this limestone statue of King Zoser, who built the first great stone pyramid, the Step Pyramid at Saqqara. This statue was originally recovered at Saqqara in his serdab, a room with a small hole that allowed the pharaoh’s ka to escape (or see offerings that we left for him).

https://imgur.com/a/l4eAm82

Up next is a very well-preserved statue of Khafra, the builder of the second-largest pyramid at Giza. A sign nearby notes that it was found at the bottom of a well near the Giza necropolis. This statue is featured on the Egyptian 20-pound note:

https://imgur.com/a/WfatpRS

Old Kingdom Egypt really really loved dwarves, so tons of them held important court positions and could pay to have statues like this made of themselves:

https://imgur.com/a/OVQldev

You pass by the statue of Kaaper. It portrays a minor official and is only made of wood, but is famous because thousands of years later it still looks incredibly lifelike, particularly due to the use of copper and rock crystal to craft fake eyes.

https://www.meretsegerbooks.com/images/gallery/802_18382_full.jpg?v=1490629925

The most famous “seated scribe” statue is in the Louvre (and on the Egyptian 200-pound note), but it wasn’t the only one of its type. This one is beat up, but still shows his own set of lifelike eyes:

https://imgur.com/a/a5f5qWU

Slightly less lifelike but still remarkably well-preserved are the seated statues of Rahotep and Nefert, which highlight the Egyptian artistic convention of making women substantially more light-skinned than men.

https://imgur.com/a/V7wfqoX

This guy apparently got a hot Egyptian wife and had several kids even though it’s clear that when standing he’s like 2/3 his wife’s height. Shortmos, rejoice!

https://imgur.com/a/2wJQCVM

Most Egyptian art follows traditional forms and isn’t super-realistic, but there are exceptions. These very lifelike paintings of geese date all the way back to 2500 BC.

https://imgur.com/a/Vor2ucU

Khufu built Egypt’s single most-famous monument, the Great Pyramid, so it’s a fitting irony that only one statue of him survives, and it’s this tiny ivory statuette that stands less than 8 cm tall. Initially only the body was found, and excavators spent a staggering 3 weeks searching before they found the head.

https://imgur.com/a/42EIVgB

In this Middle Kingdom relief, the pharaoh appears to be making out with Ptah. Hot.

https://imgur.com/a/Iiq6SDx

King Hor’s ka-statue represents his ka rather literally, sprouting out of his head:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/54/Ka_Statue_of_horawibra.jpg

The original Sphinx is pretty beat up, but this smaller statue shows what it’s supposed to look like when intact.

https://imgur.com/a/ROUJNu2

In the New Kingdom area, you see the “Punt Reliefs,” chronicling Egyptian trade voyages to the land of Punt. The Queen of Punt is portrayed…very oddly, suggesting she may have had an unusual disease.

https://imgur.com/a/Y4pcBsg

This statue of Queen Hatshepsut is a good example of how she had herself portrayed as a man in pharaonic art:

https://imgur.com/a/TUUHi1V

This relief shows Ramses II subjugating a racially diverse assortment of Egypt’s enemies. Traditionally, Egyptians conceived of four different races: Egyptians, Nubians, Libyans, and Asians. All of the latter three are getting clowned on here:

https://imgur.com/a/ghDVgzp

This black statue shows Ramses II hanging out with the “Osirian Triad” of Osiris, Horus, and Isis. Notice their arms wrapping around each other’s shoulders, like they’re having a fun chill weekend during UG.

https://imgur.com/a/wFTifei

This very unusual statue shows Ramses II yet again, but instead of being a powerful pharaoh, he’s a young boy being protected by Horus. Cute!

https://imgur.com/a/HZwJKgc

This is Meritamen, Ramses II’s hot dotter…and later his wife. Yikes! A tour guide later argues that this was a ceremonial position not requiring actual incest, but…that doesn’t seem to be universally agreed upon:

https://imgur.com/a/Vh2fvMI

This baboon statue represents Thoth (who isn’t always an ibis), and in accordance with traditional artistic practice, is rocking a huge boner:

https://imgur.com/a/JEjehzA

Eventually, the Greeks conquered Egypt, and sometimes the influence they had on art was strange. These statues mostly follow traditional Egyptian norms, but then stick a Greek-style head on top:

https://imgur.com/a/bx5vaRj

https://imgur.com/a/JVi5TWq

Fittingly, your tour of the Egyptian Museum ends with another bizarre encounter with an ancient Egyptian poaster:

https://imgur.com/a/qIJHys9

Wow, that was a long tour! But the day isn’t even close to over. Up next is the Cairo Citadel, fortress of Saladin!



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36787640)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 11th, 2018 12:21 PM
Author: contagious ape heaven

It’s a pretty great museum isn’t it. Although I remember it being disorganized, am I remembering right?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36787677)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 11th, 2018 12:31 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

The signage is very limited for all but the most famous items, and the exhibit numbering isn’t consistent. Fortunately my Egypt guidebook had a pretty detailed guide for the highlights.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36787759)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 11th, 2018 12:33 PM
Author: contagious ape heaven

Now that you’re saying it I remember using the Rough Guide for Egypt to navigate and understand all the exhibits

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36787772)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 11th, 2018 12:37 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Lol, I used the same. It’s a very nice guide.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36787797)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 12th, 2018 12:50 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36792190)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 11th, 2018 12:43 PM
Author: Silver trip set

I assume they still haven’t opened the new museum they have been saying will open in a few months since I was first there in ‘12. LJL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36787824)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 11th, 2018 1:34 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Nope! They've moved several of King Tut's items though, so they're at least closer to finally opening.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36788091)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 11th, 2018 8:32 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36790484)



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Date: September 11th, 2018 4:07 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

Libyans DONE HERE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36789115)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 5:04 PM
Author: ruddy lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36803121)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 8:29 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36804178)



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Date: September 11th, 2018 8:33 PM
Author: dark bipolar pit juggernaut

earl jizzing pants SEVERAL times reading OP, why?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36790491)



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Date: September 11th, 2018 8:38 PM
Author: Hateful Sex Offender Factory Reset Button

Hey CharlesXII, you ever heard the theory that Ramses II was actually Moses from the bible? It's something like Ramses was actually Ra Moses (pronounced like Ra Mozeez). Ra meaning God of king or sun god or whatever.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36790519)



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Date: September 12th, 2018 12:57 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

I haven't heard that one in particular, but I have heard the alternative theory that Akhenaten was Moses, or that the Israelites were exiled/enslaved supporters of his monotheistic reform.

The Ramses name thing is a genuine theory about the root of Moses' name, but that hardly proves Moses himself is Ramses. Just for starters, a lot of pharaohs are named Ramses, and there are other names with the same sound, like Thutmoses.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36792226)



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Date: September 12th, 2018 12:41 PM
Author: Hateful Sex Offender Factory Reset Button

What do you think of these hieroglyphs?



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36794307)



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Date: September 12th, 2018 1:27 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Not loading properly.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36794676)



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Date: September 12th, 2018 1:35 PM
Author: soul-stirring olive point

180 dedication and content creation

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36794728)



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Date: September 12th, 2018 1:55 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Brother we are just getting started. Sorry about the slow production but it's a fuckton of photos and I can only work on it at home.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36794840)



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Date: September 12th, 2018 2:17 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36794991)



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Date: September 12th, 2018 2:18 PM
Author: contagious ape heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36795003)



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Date: September 12th, 2018 2:40 PM
Author: soul-stirring olive point

bro i'd be happy be reading the tail end of this as i ignore my family at the dinner table on thanksgiving

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36795162)



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Date: October 8th, 2018 2:19 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36985164)



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Date: September 12th, 2018 2:34 PM
Author: Fiercely-loyal cracking toilet seat indian lodge

180. Read every word and opened every pic. Loved reading about ancient Egypt as a kid.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36795109)



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Date: September 12th, 2018 4:54 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36796143)



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Date: September 15th, 2018 1:47 AM
Author: diverse station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36812475)



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Date: September 18th, 2018 6:43 PM
Author: magenta flirting university pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36835449)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 7:04 AM
Author: Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth

TY! Huge treat to see pics from inside the museum!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36799857)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 7:09 AM
Author: soul-stirring olive point

who knew charles was such a real-breaking badass

if he did shit like this with girls around he'd be much better off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36799862)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 12:47 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

After that long trek through the Egyptian Museum, it’s time for a break, right? Wrong. We’re not even stopping for lunch, bitch. Shit in Cairo closes too early in the afternoon to waste any time on mere food. You hail a taxi and request your next destination: The Cairo Citadel.

The taxi driver gives you a blank look.

“Citadel?”

You try again: “Al-Qalah?” Nope.

Finally you pull out Google Maps on your phone and simply point to the location.

“Ahhhh, Salah al-Din!” he exclaims. That’s right, your next destination is the great fortress first built by Saladin, sultan of Egypt and Syria, founder of the Ayyubid Dynasty, and star of Age of Empires 2’s easiest non-tutorial campaign. Very few reminders of his reign remain on the citadel, but as you walk up after being dropped off, you can still see an impressive set of medieval walls and towers:

https://imgur.com/a/pz2Y1uf

https://imgur.com/a/4bT2lqC

Just inside, some guy is advertising a service that lets you rent Islamic or Pharaonic clothing to wear for photos. For some reason, Saladin’s portrait from Civilization 4 is used in the ad:

https://imgur.com/a/xjjjtqs

After a short walk to the center of the Citadel, you arrive at its first attraction: The Mosque of Muhammad Ali.

https://imgur.com/a/GScKSf2

It’s the first of many, many mosques you will be seeing over the next three days, but it’s a little different from the rest. Though today regarded as the founder of modern Egypt (despite being Albanian himself), Muhammad Ali was officially just the Ottoman Sultan’s viceroy. His mosque closely imitates Turkish architectural traditions, rather than native Egyptian ones, though some interpret this as a show of defiance, as the mosque closely imitates those built by the sultans themselves.

Despite its large size, the exterior is a little unimpressive, being built of perpetually dust-covered alabaster and capped with a dome of finest…tin.

The inside is a little more impressive, showing the Ottoman love for very low-hanging lights:

https://imgur.com/a/qAvlycy

https://imgur.com/a/P4nKrMJ

In the corner, Muhammad Ali’s tomb lies behind a barrier that makes it really hard to see. This is another feature you’re gonna see in several mosques. Some doods snap a selfie by it, the way you might take a selfie by Washington’s tomb at Mt. Vernon or something:

https://imgur.com/a/ATkESuG

Outside the mosque, you get a view of Cairo that would probably be a little better if the city’s air pollution wasn’t so bad.

https://imgur.com/a/U4F8sQs

If you look carefully (zoom in on the center), you can see the silhouettes of the two larger Giza pyramids some ten miles off.

https://imgur.com/a/tHmpVNF

The Al-Gawhara Palace, used by Muhammad Ali, is under renovation. Muhammad Ali chilled in this palace while his men butchered Mamluks within the citadel during Ali’s seizure of total power.

https://imgur.com/a/HkYlxBp

Muhammad Ali’s mosque isn’t the only one in the citadel. The Mosque of Sultan al-Nasir is substantially older, dating back to the 1300s. Instead of aping the Ottomans, the corkscrew minarets with a bulbous top copy styles used in Persia, where the mosque’s craftsmen hailed from.

https://imgur.com/a/vrpWZy0

Some free Islamic literature is available in just about every language, for the purpose of bringing tourists into the ummah, inshallah.

https://imgur.com/a/XjynMW6

The Citadel isn’t all mosques and palaces. It also houses Egypt’s military history museum, celebrating the many glorious victories of the modern Egyptian military. Like the Al-Gawhara Palace, the museum itself (created out of the former harem palace) is closed, but there’s plenty to see in the courtyard, like this statue of Ibrahim Pasha, Muhammad Ali’s son and easily Egypt’s greatest general since 1800.

https://imgur.com/a/VFbygYZ

The courtyard has a bunch of Egyptian tanks, aircraft, and SAM launchers, primarily purchased from the Soviet Union and used in the wars with Israel.

https://imgur.com/a/vSJ0SXt

https://imgur.com/a/dFTPUHd

https://imgur.com/a/k8KIRM6

It also features some tanks captured from Israel in 1973, including this M60 Patton tank:

https://imgur.com/a/ySoS4c0

Most places wouldn’t proudly display amphibious transports alongside tanks and fighters, but Egypt is different: They get a top spot!

https://imgur.com/a/J4kVEyR

These vehicles were crucial to Egypt’s breakthrough across the Suez Canal in 1973. A metal mural nearby, reading right to left, shows the Egyptian interpretation of the Yom Kippur War, with Egypt uniting to defeat the Zionist menace and then force the signing of the Camp David Accords, which returned control of Sinai to Egypt in return for a peace treaty with Israel.

https://imgur.com/a/zFhlb2t

https://imgur.com/a/SoAZydj

https://imgur.com/a/27fHyLg

https://imgur.com/a/Oqv6uQB

The real star of the entire museum, though, is this statue making the extremely debatable claim that Egyptian troops are “The Best Soldiers on Earth.”

https://imgur.com/a/MhGhVhi

Egyptians really don’t give a shit about proper spelling on their signs:

https://imgur.com/a/FkGXXHj

Another small museum on the Citadel is the National Police Museum, commemorating the efforts of Egyptian law enforcement over the millennia. The first exhibit is a series of panels on infamous crimes in recent Egyptian history. The English translations are comically bad, though you can make out that one man apparently became an infamous killer after being cucked by his wife:

https://imgur.com/a/c15ZtNl

The museum also has prison cells that were used by the Mamluks, Ottomans, and the British to hold prisoners during the country’s long and turbulent history.

https://imgur.com/a/qELC18c

Some have figures inside representing typical prisoners from different historical periods.

https://imgur.com/a/9vftd3r

Others, though, are rather unceremoniously being used as storage rooms.

https://imgur.com/a/5IEw6hx

The museum also has a few exhibits from the history of Egyptian police work…like this model depicting the time dozens of Egyptian police were killed in a battle with the British.

https://imgur.com/a/Je8r1aX

Another exhibit openly celebrates the Egyptian “heroes” who assassinated the British governor-general in 1924:

https://imgur.com/a/kGCBL8G

Other famous assassinations in Egyptian history have exhibits as well, but for some mysterious reason the assassination of Anwar Sadat is totally unmentioned.

Yet another museum on the Citadel is dedicated to the carriages used by Egypt’s kings. You can’t take any photos as they are once again banned and for some reason this museum is crawling with police. Here’s one from online:

https://www.flyingcarpettours.com/Images/Programes/the-royal-Carriage-museum.jpg

There’s also a THIRD major mosque in the Citadel, the Sulayman Pasha al-Khadem Mosque. It was built shortly after the Ottomans conquered Egypt, and was built in the Ottoman style for use by janissaries garrisoned on the Citadel. It’s closed, but you snap a photo from outside.

https://imgur.com/a/chtZ0SN

Whew! That took a few hours of walking through the brutally hot sun, but you’ve finally seen the entire Citadel! But we aren’t stopping yet. It’s getting late in the afternoon and things will start closing soon, so you pay a cab 20 LE (a little over a dollar) to drive you barely over 1 km to your next destination, the twin mosques of Sultan Hassan and Al-Rifa’i. They’re both huge, right next to each other, and you enter both via the alley between them, so it’s hard to get a good external photo of them. Here’s one from online.

http://www.islamichistoryandtravel.com/EGRMDSC_0251%20(1).jpg

They look similarly on the outside, but roughly 600 years separates the two mosques.

You first enter the Mosque-Madrassah of Sultan Hassan (on the left up above), which dates to the 1300s. The building is huge, but was reportedly constructed in just three years, at an expense so great Hassan allegedly only finished because if he didn’t, people would have ridiculed him as a poor. Despite being an Islamic building, the mosque was built in a cruciform shape, a style justified by its four wings, each housing a madrassah for one of the four major schools of Sunni jurisprudence.

Inside, a sign makes it clear how the current operators feel about women’s clothing.

https://imgur.com/a/CWx5Bjs

Another colorfully advertises the children’s lessons on offer:

https://imgur.com/a/zXVaSWc

The iwans in the central courtyard are enormous, and dwarf the handful of men currently engaged in afternoon prayers.

https://imgur.com/a/ld5JiZV

Next door to Hassan’s mosque is the Al-Rifa’i mosque.

https://imgur.com/a/ump8JhW

It’s a much more recent construction, only being finished in the 20th century. The building is impressive enough, but another attraction are the notable tombs here. Most of Egypt’s post-Muhammad Ali kings are here, but for Americans the most notable resident is the last Shah of Iran, who died in exile in Cairo, and has a (relatively) humble tomb in the corner of the mosque:

https://imgur.com/a/8J4U9qq

One of the mosque’s nicer tombs (it’s hard to say whose it is; your guide is shitty at describing this mosque) is screened off, but they seem to inspire devotion, as several people are praying fervently outside it.

https://imgur.com/a/ay4PFi0

Don’t give up yet! You have one last major mosque to visit today: The Ibn Tulun Mosque, Cairo’s largest and the oldest to still retain its original form, dating all the way back to the 800s. It’s closed by now, but you bribe the muezzin to let you in.

https://imgur.com/a/1gAtxFB

The mosque is separated from the city by a large barrier alley, allowing the sacred to be kept distinct from the profane.

https://imgur.com/a/mYuXFDy

Most mosques make you take off your shoes, but Ibn Tulun just makes you put bags on over them, which is…better, I guess?

https://imgur.com/a/aEPBtQK

The mosque’s spiral minaret evokes the more famous one in Samarra, Iraq. According to legend, the design was born when Ibn Tulun himself was caught absentmindedly wrapping a piece of paper around his finger; when questioned, rather than admit that he was zoning out, Tulun claimed that he was designing a minaret. Sadly, this legend is probably flame.

https://imgur.com/a/F8Bstjw

The muezzin wants way too much money to let you climb the minaret itself, but thankfully there’s a smaller mosque next door where the guardian is a little more reasonable. His minaret isn’t quite as high, but you get a nice view of Cairo and of Ibn Tulun itself:

https://imgur.com/a/n0eITFH

https://imgur.com/a/89jbuhA

Almost there! Just a bit south of the Ibn Tulun mosque is the well-preserved tomb of Shajar al-Durr, one of the few female monarchs in medieval Islamic history.

https://imgur.com/a/GrFKlBU

Shajar took power after the death of her husband, but was then forced to remarry and abdicate. Rather than yield power, Shajar married the Mamluk captain Aybak, inaugurating the period of Mamluk rule in Egypt. Though officially she had abdicated, Shajar continued to exercise real power behind the scenes, and eventually ordered her husband’s murder. Reportedly, she tried to halt the murder at the last minute, but the assassins refused, pointing out that if they stopped, Aybak would simply kill them all regardless. The assassination marked her downfall, though, as the Mamluks rebelled, and then handed Shajar over to Aybak’s other wife. Shajar’s female servants beat her to death with bath clogs and then threw her body to the jackals.

But hey, they built her a nice tomb later.

The final mosque you see today is the Mosque of Saiyida Nafisa, which holds the body of one of Muhammad’s great-granddaughters. It’s off-limits to non-Muslims, at least officially. Since this is only your first day in Egypt, you decide to not risk a fight with the religious authorities.

https://imgur.com/a/YdYBpOy

The mosque is right next to the Southern Cemetery, one of Cairo’s massive necropolis slums. People live and work amid the tombs of hundreds of thousands of dead Cairenes.

https://imgur.com/a/L2IzKyU

You venture a short ways into the necropolis, seeking out the little-known tombs of the Abbasid caliphs, who served as puppet rulers for the Mamluk sultans. Sadly, the door to their tombs is locked and the guy sitting nearby doesn’t have a key.

https://imgur.com/a/zBbI9ew

You made it, but you’re still about 2 miles from your hotel. Naturally, you decide to head back on foot to take in the city. There isn’t much to see, but you do see people raising animals in the streets, like these chickens. They’d fit in really well with millennial white people!

https://imgur.com/a/hAVwGM7

This restaurant probably did not contact Disney to secure the rights to using Ratatouille characters:

https://imgur.com/a/UNszYIf

Finally, around 7:30, you make it back to your hotel and get to sleep (no, you don’t eat; for whatever reason Egyptian heat is great at wiping out your appetite). Today was a big day, but tomorrow is even bigger: We’re going to the Pyramids!



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36801363)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 1:01 PM
Author: contagious ape heaven

Great post

Who is the figure of the prisoner in the cell, someone particular or just a “representative” prisoner?

Did you read those chose your own adventure books when you were a kid?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36801495)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 1:09 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

At least in the English signage, they just attribute the prisoners to different time periods, but don’t include names of specific people. One cell did appear to have a flower tossed into it, though, so maybe it held a notable person (Sadat was once imprisoned there, for example).

I did read CYOA books, though none having to do with Egypt. I recall liking the various “Master of [Martial Art]” entries.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36801548)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 1:14 PM
Author: contagious ape heaven

One or two of your phrasings made me think of reading CYOA books as a kid (in a good way, I loved reading those, great sense of narrative)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36801579)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 1:07 PM
Author: Fiercely-loyal cracking toilet seat indian lodge

great read again, ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36801534)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 1:13 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36801568)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 1:15 PM
Author: contagious ape heaven

tbf they totally kicked ass before they got kicked in the ass

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36801582)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 4:08 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36802769)



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Date: September 15th, 2018 1:37 AM
Author: Fluffy Travel Guidebook Theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36812440)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 2:36 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36802217)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 4:57 PM
Author: ruddy lay

this whole thread is AWESOME!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36803085)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 4:58 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

Best part is, it all really happened. Just like the IFNB threads of yore.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36803092)



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Date: September 13th, 2018 5:08 PM
Author: ruddy lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36803135)



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Date: September 14th, 2018 12:44 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

A couple things I forgot in Day 1:

-In the King Tut collection there's a necklace that shows Tutankhamun being suckled at the breast of a snake woman.

https://imgur.com/a/UlyCa4D

-In the bathroom at the airport, there was an attendant who handed people toilet paper to dry their hands with.

-Getting into the Egyptian Museum required going through three layers of security, but all three layers were identical (complete with metal detectors).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36805799)



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Date: September 14th, 2018 4:16 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

Do they still have metal detectors at all the hotel entrances?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36806275)



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Date: September 14th, 2018 10:07 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Only at the second hotel for me.

There was also a recurring trend of cops just waving ppl through the detector and not caring if it went off.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36806794)



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Date: September 15th, 2018 1:36 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

You sleep horribly on your second night in Egypt: It turns out your room’s AC is on its last legs, and it goes kaput around midnight, which is bad news in a country as hot as Egypt. Icky. But there’s no time to complain, because you have to get up at 8 pm for a guided tour: Today, you’re going to the pyramids.

Hitting all the pyramids involves quite a bit of traveling, so it’s worthwhile (and not expensive) to get a guide. For only about $35, you’ve booked an entire solo day tour, with your own dedicated taxi driver plus tour guide. Your guide is this woman:

https://imgur.com/a/hvrlTLx

Her name is Bossi, and after a few years in the scam that is academia she has switched to doing tours to pay the bills.

In addition to your guide, you also have your own taxi driver for the whole day. Sweet!

Giza and its necropolis lie to the west of Cairo, as the Egyptians believed that west was the direction of the land of the dead. Getting there, then, means crossing the Nile, which means you finally get your first proper look at the strip of water that makes the entire country of Egypt possible:

https://imgur.com/a/EPezvQl

As you drive out to Giza, Bossi asks what music you like, and you mention Iron Maiden and how they have a song (Powerslave) that’s explicitly about Ancient Egypt. Much to your surprise, she brings it up on her phone and plays it through the car’s speakers, and at least claims to like it. Up the irons!

Getting closer to the necropolis, you pass the perpetually-under-construction Grand Egyptian Museum.

https://imgur.com/a/uabXPJn

The GEM’s foundation was laid a staggering 16 years ago by Hosni Mubarak, and serious construction started in 2012, but it’s still not finished. If it ever opens, it’s supposed to hold the entire King Tutankhamun collection, plus other antiquities taken out of storage from other museums across Egypt.

Another few minutes of driving, and you finally arrive at the Giza Plateau, home of the last remaining Wonder of the Ancient World.

https://imgur.com/a/EUuaIJP

The Great Pyramid of Khufu stands 455 feet high, and 756 feet to a side. It’s built of an estimated 2.3 million stone blocks, and weighs nearly 6 million tons. Perhaps most astonishingly, it’s among the oldest monuments in Ancient Egypt, with a finish date estimated around 2560 BC. It was the tallest building in the world for 3800 years. During the time of Caesar, it was already ancient history, and tourists came to Egypt just to gawk at it and wonder how it was built (Herodotus thought it required the labor of 100,000 men). Today, the primary theory is that a few thousand full-time workers were supplemented by 30,000+ seasonal workers, who worked during the Nile’s flood period (when agriculture is impossible) and were paid with food and beer. It’s generally believed that the blocks were put in place by building ramps and then dragging them into place. This theory has been greatly bolstered by the 2013 discovery of the oldest papyrus in history, the logbook of an official overseeing the transport of limestone to Khufu’s pyramid construction site. The papyrus was on display at the Egyptian Museum.

Photos struggle to do the Great Pyramid (and all other pyramids) justice, because pyramids are sloping away from the camera and thus look smaller than they really are. The Great Pyramid is truly awe-inspiring in person, though.

https://imgur.com/a/YbERGlN

https://imgur.com/a/8yIFbWt

If you look up at the top of the pyramid, you can see a small antenna-like object at the top. This, your guide explains, is to mark the original height of the pyramid, before the casing stones and pyramidion were stripped:

https://imgur.com/a/9shbutC

You can climb onto the lower portions of the pyramid (or the whole thing, if you’re willing to risk arrest: https://gizmodo.com/its-a-quick-and-illegal-climb-to-get-to-the-top-of-gi-1756258463), and gazing upwards from the pyramid itself, it almost feels like a wall of stone stretching up forever:

https://imgur.com/a/6GnWNCf

There’s tons of graffiti etched into the stones of the pyramid by visitors from the past 4,000 years.

https://imgur.com/a/699OOBa

Cameras are banned inside the Great Pyramid, and unlike pretty much every other place where photos are banned, this entrance literally has a policeman taking people’s phones at the entrance.

https://imgur.com/a/j5t9IHa

A sign next to the pyramid’s entrance lays down the rules for going inside. No jumping in the sarcophagus!

https://imgur.com/a/o051pY6

The tour guide says you can go inside the Great Pyramid if you like, but you decide not to for a few reasons: 1. It’s a tiring climb to the King’s chamber, and the inside of the pyramid is really hot, 2. You can’t take any pictures, 3. It will take a long time and possibly force you to cut out other sites on the tour, 4. It’s literally an extra $20, and 5. When you get there, there’s nothing to see but an empty stone sarcophagus; pyramids don’t have windows!

Fortunately, there’s a much easier option if you want to experience going inside a pyramid. Three small pyramids are next to Khufu’s, and were used to bury his wives.

https://imgur.com/a/pJtdGEP

The leftmost one in that photo lets tourists go in for no extra fee. It’s a bit of a tight fit:

https://imgur.com/a/288UNJ4

You’re not supposed to take photos inside, but LJL nobody cares about keeping cameras out of this pyramid. At the center is…a tiny empty stone room!

https://imgur.com/a/FJrCmXm

https://imgur.com/a/EnjWPmL

The inside of a pyramid is pretty hot, and spending just a couple minutes inside the burial chamber leaves you covered with sweat (the outside is actually quite pleasant, as the plateau is constantly buffeted with cool northerly winds).

After you step out, your tour guide tells you an interesting story: In addition to the three pyramids for Khufu’s wives, in the 20th century the intact tomb of his mother, Queen Hetepheres, was discovered nearby. You saw an exhibit on her grave goods at the Egyptian Museum (https://imgur.com/a/tXiRIWG ), but your guide makes her story juicier. When the queen’s carefully-sealed sarcophagus was opened, it turned out to be empty. So, a major theory is that Hetepheres had been buried near her husband, Sneferu, but Khufu wanted her relocated to be near himself. But her tomb may have ALREADY been plundered, and so to avoid pissing off the king, his attendants simply prepared and sealed an empty sarcophagus and delivered it to the king. 4600 years ago, the ancient Egyptians had already invented running flame.

Occasionally, it’s pointed out online that stock photos make it look like the Giza pyramids are in the middle of the desert, when in fact they’re surrounded by a major city on all sides. That’s pretty funny, but also funny is the fact there is a large museum literally just a few feet from the Great Pyramid:

https://imgur.com/a/UnjsGOs

This museum costs a few bucks, but is worth a visit: It holds the reconstructed SOLAR BOAT of Khufu. The fuck is that, you ask? One of the biggest Egyptological finds of the 20th century was discovery of two buried boats right next to Khufu’s pyramids. The boats were not actually intact, but instead was disassembled. All the pieces were there, though, so archaeologists have rebuilt the boat with all its original parts (save its rope, which was intact but not strong enough to hold the boat together). It measures nearly 150 feet long and would still float if put in the water today.

Photos are banned in the museum (are you noticing a theme here?) but you manage to sneak a handful:

https://imgur.com/a/RGJFsy8

https://imgur.com/a/enZu6f9

https://imgur.com/a/dXWrhmC

The exact purpose of the boat is debated. It’s often called the “solar boat” because of the theory that it was supposed to be rebuilt by Khufu’s attendants in the afterlife and then would carry him and the sun god Ra through the heavens. However, the boat appears to have actually been in the water at least once, so it’s been proposed that the boat was also used to transport Khufu’s embalmed body to the pyramid itself. It’s also been suggested the ship had a religious function, and was used by Khufu during his lifetime.

The second Khufu solar boat is still being restored; Bossi complains that the Japanese handling the restoration have horribly bungled things and caused irreversible damage to the materials.

Well, you’ve spent more than an hour exploring just the vicinity of the Great Pyramid. Now it’s time to give some attention to its sister, the Great Pyramid of Khafre.

https://imgur.com/a/tFOYveb

You may have actually thought Khafre’s Pyramid IS the Great Pyramid. It’s the middle of the three large pyramids, and in most photos it appears taller, mainly because it was built on slightly higher ground. But in fact, it’s a few feet shorter, and several dozen feet shorter on each side, meaning its volume is substantially less. However, the pyramid rises at a slightly steeper angle, and its summit still contains many of the casing stones that once totally covered both pyramids, so up close it’s arguably more beautiful and more imposing than Khufu’s pyramid.

https://imgur.com/a/2Y3UgYo

As recently as the 1600’s, almost all the casing stones on Khafre’s pyramid were intact, based on the journals of a visitor at the time, but sometime shortly after they were plundered, presumably for use as building materials.

Close to Khafre’s pyramid is a guy trying to sell camel rides. He poses for a photo:

https://imgur.com/a/mlhvey1

Whoa, watch out! Right after taking this photo, he approaches and tries to get you to pose with the camel. If you let him do that, he’ll definitely expect a big tip from you afterwards. You hurry away with your guide before you can let your own fear of awkwardness be used against you.

After some time at Khafre’s pyramid, you meet up with your driver and head off to a scenic view of the entire pyramid complex. Along the way, you pass the far smaller pyramid of Menkaure, which is mostly notable for the giant gash in its side.

https://imgur.com/a/tNI2hYk

This gash was torn out by Saladin’s son, Al-Aziz Uthman, who tried to destroy the pyramids but gave up after discovering that tearing them down was nearly as hard as actually building them.

The scenic view is, as you’d expect, very scenic:

https://imgur.com/a/wA0CZCO

These people are jumping while a photo is taken of themselves in mid-air.

https://imgur.com/a/9Z0TS7K

The jumping pose is a Generic Pyramid Photo surpassed only by a photo of a person sticking their finger on the “point” of a pyramid. Like the guy in the middle of this photo:

https://imgur.com/a/soj862G

A camel caravan is nearby, for people who can’t properly enjoy the pyramids without also riding on a really smelly animal.

https://imgur.com/a/oI1bIWl

Well, that was an exceptionally fun couple hours, but don’t even think of resting just yet. Your day is only beginning. You still have the Sphinx, the Saqqara Necropolis, Dahshur, Memphis, and the old Islamic quarter of Mamluk Cairo!



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36812437)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 1:45 AM
Author: Fluffy Travel Guidebook Theater

180 ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36812467)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 2:24 AM
Author: diverse station

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36812570)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 8:24 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

a scholarly tract

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36813100)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 8:33 AM
Author: clear comical stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36813113)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 11:34 AM
Author: Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth

When my wife and I went into one of the smaller pyramids, there was a 9 year old boy at the bottom of the ladder you show in your pic "helping" people up. My wife went after me, and she was wearing a dress, and the little guy just stuck his head up there to catch a peek.

I also remember how hot it was in there.

I enjoy your descriptions of panicked avoidance of scams and tips too.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36813657)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 11:54 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

LOL, just wait until we get to Luxor, brother. Cairenes are amateurs at corruption and scams compared to the locals there.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36813771)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 12:08 PM
Author: Odious cruise ship knife

You try to Kino escalate w/ Bossi? lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36813839)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 12:21 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

She is a VIRTUOUS MUSLIM WOMAN good sir and would be repulsed by such gestures.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36813907)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 5:21 PM
Author: Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth

Did you talk to any Musbro's with multiple wives? I spoke with one that had two wives, but they didn't know about each other!

I also saw a Saudi looking guy travelling with 3-4 women, and one of the hotel rooms I stayed in had 4 beds in one room!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36815360)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 11:48 AM
Author: vibrant impressive legend

thanks for this, ive been to all the places you have so far its cool to see them again. were to after Egypt?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36813731)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 12:20 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

My sister is agitating for me to go on a trip with her and her husband next spring. She’s interested in Japan, the Holy Land, or SE Asia; I’d say Japan is the most likely. If I do the Holy Land I want to bring my parents along as well.

My next solo trip abroad will probably be to Russia. No idea what the timeframe for that is, though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36813903)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 5:22 PM
Author: Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth

The women in Russia are beautiful! You will be tempted

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36815364)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 6:03 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Tempted to what?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36815531)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 5:30 PM
Author: sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap

I'm going to Moscow next month. Flights are cheap in October ... let's do this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36815402)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 5:17 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

is there gonna be another update today since you have more time

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36815339)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2018 5:25 PM
Author: Crystalline Titillating Famous Landscape Painting

How did you figure out the secret of DIO's stand?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36815382)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 16th, 2018 5:42 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

Next page please

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36820486)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 16th, 2018 7:59 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Sorry been out thingdoing all weekend. No time to go through pics.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36821432)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 16th, 2018 7:45 PM
Author: Stimulating Box Office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36821345)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 16th, 2018 7:46 PM
Author: Stimulating Box Office

Finally caught up on this. Very 180, and probably won't want to go to Egypt once I finish this virtual tour because it's so comprehensive.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36821347)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 16th, 2018 7:48 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle hall

great thread

egypt seems like a shithole; or, in otherwords, 1000x better than india

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36821365)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2018 1:58 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Leaving the scenic view, you ask Bossi her opinion on different tourists. What countries send the best, and which send the worse? Bossi doesn’t have a particular favorite country, but she finally confesses that in her opinion, Indian tourists are the worst, because they routinely proposition her for sex during the tour. Sadly, Americans do it too; her single least favorite tourist was a Pentagon employee who asked her back to his hotel room while he was on a tour with his daughter. Yikes! She also says that the Chinese tour groups are horribly aggressive and unpleasant, but she doesn’t lead any of those groups directly since she doesn’t speak Chinese.

Your next stop, naturally, is the Sphinx, which lies a short distance from the Pyramids, right on the border where the modern city of Giza sits. As you approach it, you pass the remains of Giza’s ancient dock. Today, it seems peculiar, surrounded totally by sand, but 4500 years ago, during the flood season, the waters of the Nile reached right up to it, and stones was landed here for use in Giza’s many, many massive structures.

https://imgur.com/a/Ee0jeUi

The closest approach to the Sphinx lies through Khafre’s funerary temple. The pyramids weren’t standalone structures; they were part of large funerary complexes that included dedicated temples for each dead pharaoh. These temples were used for religious rites in their burial, such as the “Opening of the mouth ceremony,” a ritual in which priests animated a dead body by opening its mouth so it could eat, breath, and speak in the afterlife. After being used for that ceremony, the temples were left standing so people could arrive to leave offerings for the dead, but deified, pharaoh. According to Bossi, popular pharaohs were still receiving offerings more than a thousand years later. Khafre’s temple actually has two parts, the proper funerary temple close to the pyramid, and the “valley temple” by the sphinx, connected by a covered causeway. You pass through the valley temple, which remains well-preserved as it was covered by sand until the 1800s. The niche here once featured a statue of the pharaoh, who could receive offerings at it.

https://imgur.com/a/0RS87Qp

This pit was once completely filled with sand, and eventually a statue was discovered in it. Today, people fill their primal desire to throw money in pits.

https://imgur.com/a/rKCyTro

After working your way through the temple, you reach an overlook right by the Sphinx:

https://imgur.com/a/2wKfIyL

https://imgur.com/a/GqSrNGM

The history of the Sphinx is more mysterious than that of the pyramids, but it’s generally believed to be a likeness of Khafre, whose pyramid is directly behind it. The main body of the Sphinx is a monolith, meaning the entire structure was carved directly out of the bedrock. The

In front of the Sphinx is a stele, clearly a later addition:

https://imgur.com/a/yOskuSv

This stele is the “Dream Stele,” and was erected by the New Kingdom pharaoh Thutmose IV. In the stele, Thutmose claims that Amun-Re visited him in a dream, revealed himself as Thutmose’s father, and promised to raise him to the office of pharaoh if he cleared the sand away from the Sphinx (then buried up to its neck). It is widely believed that Thutmose invented this dream, restored the Sphinx, and erected this stele to justify seizing the throne from his older brother.

After stepping away from the Sphinx, it’s finally time for you first proper meal in Egypt that isn’t a hotel breakfast. That’s right: You’re stopping at the Sphinx Pizza Hut/KFC.

https://imgur.com/a/3XrlzXW

You’re not super-hungry (Egyptian heat is working its magic yet again), but you get a rice and chicken bowl that sets you back just 20 LE, barely more than a dollar.

https://imgur.com/a/gT5pJyE

After getting your food, you head up to the top floor, which has an excellent view of both the Sphinx and pyramids.

https://imgur.com/a/1wKyzHt

https://imgur.com/a/Z1Oy9vX

After eating, it’s time to hustle back to the cab and head to your second big destination of the day, the Saqqara Necropolis. Lying very close to the Old Kingdom capital of Memphis, Saqqara is about ten miles to the south of Giza, and is both older and larger than the Giza necropolis. Not only that, but it served as a burial complex for the Egyptians all the way up into Roman times. Put another way, Saqqara was a cemetery for longer than Britain has had a written history.

The most famous part of Saqqara is the Step Pyramid of Zoser.

https://imgur.com/a/UeJnokV

Built all the way back about 2650 BC (so old it actually predates Egypt’s Old Kingdom), the Step Pyramid isn’t just the oldest surviving Egyptian pyramid, it’s the oldest known large-scale stone structure of any kind. Prior to this pyramid, large-scale Egyptian tombs were simple mastabas, flat-roofed rectangular buildings with inward-sloping walls. According to Bossi, a leading theory for the pyramid’s development is that Zoser was upset because his mastaba couldn’t be seen due to the equally-high retaining wall he’d built around it. So, he asked his priest and chancellor Imhotep to build another, smaller mastaba on top of it. Imhotep did him one better and built 5 additional mastabas, creating a six-stepped pyramid that rises more than 200 feet. The pyramid is built of stone blocks, but looks like it’s built of brick, because builders used relatively small stone blocks, likely because they were still mentally in a world of brick construction.

The historical Imhotep is known only as a builder, but over time he became a mythic figure to Egyptians, who remembered him also as a physician, poet, astronomer, and all-around polymath. He’s also the villain in The Mummy. But it all started here, with the erection of the Step Pyramid.

To get close to Zoser’s pyramid, you pass through a columned corridor that once provided the passage through the outer retaining wall. Three site guardians chill in the only bit of shade to be had, by the doorway:

https://imgur.com/a/zfyrEmh

4700 years later, the roof has been reconstructed, but the columns are original.

https://imgur.com/a/53TOa8W

This pit is a drop of more than 100 feet straight down, and leads to Zoser’s south tomb, which predates the completion of his pyramid. It also looks remarkably easy to fall into:

https://imgur.com/a/FHvcGfn

Some snake sculptures overlook Zoser’s massive courtyard:

https://imgur.com/a/kHVPt4K

Flanking the courtyard are several chapel structures. These buildings, like many in Zoser’s funerary complex, are actually fake. They’re facades, filled in with rubble, rather than actual functional buildings!

https://imgur.com/a/H4CKCWi

The exact purpose of the large courtyard, or these chapel buildings, is largely unknown, but the leading theory is that they were used for the Heb Sed festival, a jubilee festival occurring in the 30th year of a pharaoh’s reign. We’re not entirely sure what happened in this festival, but it appears to involve “rejuvenating” an aging pharaoh by re-enacting coronation rituals, such as running back and forth between two altars (representing the two Egypts) and being crowned with the crowns of both Upper and Lower Egypt. Bossi also mentions that the pharaoh may have personally killed a bull in this ritual as well.

A few hundred feet southwest of Zoser’s pyramid is the Pyramid of Unas, from the 5th dynasty.

https://imgur.com/a/Nb55gb9 (on the left)

The pyramid was a much shoddier construction job and has today crumbled to little more than a mound of dirt, but the structure is important as its interior contains the oldest example of pyramid texts:

http://ccivcopy.site.wesleyan.edu/files/2013/04/Saqqara-Unas-Dyn-5.jpg

These texts were meant to serve as spells and as a guide to help Unas navigate the afterlife. Such texts would later become a routine part of Egyptian tomb work, and you’ll see many examples throughout the rest of our time here. To get an idea of what the hieroglyphs were saying, here’s a translation:

https://www.pyramidtextsonline.com/translation.html

The Saqqara necropolis also contains quite a few tombs built over the millennia. You don’t have time for all of them, but you stop in at a handful that serve as a preview for the more spectacular tombs to be seen in Luxor.

In your first tomb (which you egregiously did not log the name of) you see a relief of some dudes catching fish. Daily-life reliefs like this are common in the tombs of officials and other regular people, but rare in those of rulers:

https://imgur.com/a/hqwGJGd

Another relief shows a crocodile preparing to eat a baby hippo the moment it finishes being born:

https://imgur.com/a/mUA590s

One of the best-preserved tombs in the area is that of Maya, Tutankhamun’s treasurer, which was only recently reopened. In one wall scene in the tomb, Maya and his wife approach Osiris in the afterlife. This scene is extremely common, but it’s worth noting the protrusion from the woman’s head. These are generally believed to not simply be a decoration, but a “perfume cone” of scented wax that would gradually melt and release a pleasant aroma.

https://imgur.com/a/bE8sGmS

Elsewhere in the tomb is an image of Anubis in his traditional role preparing a mummy. Bossi argues that the jackal-headed Anubis is associated with mummification because the ancient Egyptians noticed that when wild dogs ate the internal organs of a corpse, the rest of the body decayed more slowly. A less exciting explanation is that jackals were simply seen often in cemeteries:

https://imgur.com/a/eoaX14K

Your last (human) tomb of the day is that of Horemheb, who isn’t actually buried at it. Horemheb was a general under the pharaohs Tutankhamun and Ay, but took power himself by marrying into the family when the male line petered out. This tomb was built when he was still just a general, and he built a new one for himself in Luxor after becoming pharaoh. It’s popular to speculate that Horemheb had Tutankhamun murdered as part of his plot to take control, but analysis of Tut’s corpse suggests that malaria and an infected leg injury did him in.

Horemheb’s tomb has a nice big hypostyle hall (that is, a room of columns) and some high-quality reliefs of people thing-doing, though the people look a little weird:

https://imgur.com/a/ArZ3OLF

https://imgur.com/a/mb6IH6Z

https://imgur.com/a/Opquzam

You have one last major stop to make in Saqqara, the Serapeum. Along the way, you pass the garbage-strewn Philosopher’s Circle, where the Ptolomaic Greeks juxtaposed Egyptian religion with Hellenistic philosophy.

https://imgur.com/a/AMKyXv5

https://imgur.com/a/KBBuHEv

The shattered statues in this circle represent Plato, Heraclitus, Homer, Hesiod, Pindar, and other titans of Greek thought and literature. How scholars made those identifications given the statues’ near-total destruction is a mystery to you (okay, they’re probably copies and more-intact versions exist elsewhere).

After passing the philosophers, you finally enter the massive underground Serapeum.

https://imgur.com/a/wCVuMCw

One of the odder parts of Ancient Egyptian religion was its intense reverence for certain animals (for instance, it was a crime to harm cats and families would go into profound mourning for a dead housecat). The most sacred of all Egyptian animals, though, was the Apis bull. One bull at a time, bearing particular body markings, was treated as the child of the goddess Hathor, and also as an incarnation of the god Ptah, who was the chief deity of the Memphis region. The Apis bull was used as an oracle (it was given yes or no questions, with certain head movements indicating the “answer”), and was treated extremely well until it died of old age. Killing an Apis bull was a tremendous sacrilege; according to legend, the Persian emperor Cambyses II murdered one during his conquest of Egypt, and subsequently went mad, murdered his family members, and died a violent premature death.

Anyway, when the Apis bull died, it was mummified and buried in a sarcophagus just like human elites were. The Serapeum is where these sacred bulls were buried over a thousand-year (the name comes from Serapis, a Greco-Roman syncretic deity combining the Apis with Osiris and some aspects of Greek underworld gods like Hades). It’s a pretty big space, and holds gigantic 70-ton sarcophagi the bull mummies were placed in.

https://imgur.com/a/NwnJwcp

https://imgur.com/a/9Grk3WE

https://imgur.com/a/GWnYIdJ

Sadly, you still haven’t seen everything the Saqqara necropolis has to offer. You could spend an entire day seeing all the various tombs, as well as the small Imhotep Museum nearby, but you don’t have that kind of time. In fact, you’re already running out of time. You hustle off to your car and your driver begins speeding (literally) to get you to the last two stops on your tour: Dahshur and Memphis.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36823451)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2018 2:02 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

Is it true Obelix broke off the Sphinx’s nose?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36823455)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2018 2:19 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Unlikely. We can tell the nose was pried off using chisels and hammers, and not merely because one really fat guy climbed on it. Just who knocked off the nose isn't clear, but it was clearly a deliberate action. One early modern historian says it was the work of a Sufi Muslim outraged that local peasants regarded the Sphinx as a deity and left it offerings. Besides that historian, though, we have no evidence this story is true.

The nose was definitely gone by the 1700s, though, so the story of Napoleon shooting the nose off is flame.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36823489)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2018 10:34 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

So a Taliban-style impetus has a long history. Huh.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36824508)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2018 10:05 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

A dense and scholarly tome! I had no idea Saqqara had so much stuff, I thought it was just the step pyramid. Had no idea that Horemheb of all fucking people had a tomb there!

Bossi heroic woman status CONFIRMED

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36829452)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 6:27 PM
Author: soul-stirring olive point

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36835361)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 18th, 2018 2:02 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

LOL, while working on tonight's post, found this hilarious example from the spells written in the Unas pyramid texts, regarding the crocodile-headed god Sobek:

"Unis is Sobek, green of plumage, with alert face and raised fore, the splashing one who came from the thigh and tail of the great goddess in the sunlight ... Unis has appeared as Sobek, Neith's son. Unis will eat with his mouth, Unis will urinate and Unis will copulate with his penis. Unis is lord of semen, who takes women from their husbands to the place Unis likes according to his heart's fancy."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37047614)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2018 10:32 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36824492)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 17th, 2018 10:50 AM
Author: razzle tripping mental disorder

Charles there is some scholarship regarding the citadel that i did not see you mention. EDIT: actually turns out you did mention it.

the Mamluks were invited in under a pretense of peace, then locked inside near the front gate and a massive slaughter ensued from the high walls surrounding them. at the risk of sounding like a millenial faggot, it's pretty much the Red Wedding from GOT. from wiki:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad_Ali%27s_seizure_of_power#Defeat_of_the_Mamluks

Early in the year 1811, during a lull in tensions, after preparations for an expedition against the Wahhbis in Arabia were completed, all the Mamluk beys then in Cairo were invited to the ceremony in the Cairo citadel for investing Muhammad Ali's favorite son, Tusun, with a pelisse and the command of the army. On March 1, 1811, Shahin Bey and the other chiefs (with one exception) repaired with their retinues to the citadel, and were courteously received by the Pasha. Having taken coffee, they formed in procession, and, preceded and followed by Muhammad Ali's troops, slowly descended the steep and narrow road leading to the great gate of the citadel.

As soon as the Mamluks arrived at the citadel's gate it was suddenly shut before them. The last of those to leave before the gate was shut were Albanians under Salih Kush. To these troops, their chief now made known the Pasha's orders to massacre all the Mamluks within the citadel. They proceeded to climb the walls and roofs of nearby houses that hemmed in the road in which the Mamluks were confined, and some stationed themselves upon the eminences of the rock through which that road is partly cut. They then opened fire on their victims; and immediately the troops at the tail end of the procession, and who had the advantage of higher ground, followed suit. Of the betrayed chiefs, many were killed in the opening volleys; some, dismounting and throwing off their outer robes, vainly sought, sword in hand, to return and escape by some other gate. However, the few who gained the summit of the citadel experienced the same fate as the rest, for no quarter was given.

Four hundred and seventy Mamluks entered the citadel; and of these very few, if any, escaped. However, folklore has it that one of the Mamluk beys succeeding in escaping by leaping with his horse from the ramparts, and alighted uninjured although the horse was killed by the fall. Others say that he was prevented from joining his comrades, and discovered the treachery while waiting without the gate. He fled and made his way to Syria.

The massacre of the Mamluks at the Cairo citadel was the signal for an indiscriminate slaughter of the Mamluks throughout Egypt, orders to this effect having been transmitted to every governor. In Cairo itself the houses of the Mamluk beys were given over to the soldiery. During the two following days the Muhammad Ali Pasha and his son Tusun rode about the streets and tried to stop the atrocities; but order was not restored until 500 houses had been pillaged. The heads of the beys were sent to Istanbul.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36824591)



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Date: September 17th, 2018 8:31 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

It's a nifty event, but I'm really tired of real-life things being constantly compared to Game of Thrones.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36828657)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 6:11 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36835259)



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Date: September 18th, 2018 8:21 PM
Author: magenta flirting university pervert

great writing 1800000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36836181)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:32 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Your driver speeds along the roads south of Cairo (a frightening thing, you discover), as you have barely an hour and a half to see your last two Pharaonic sites of the day, Dahshur and Memphis.

It’s often remarked that the Giza pyramids are in the middle of a city and only photographic tricks make them appear isolated. While the Dahshur pyramids are only about 25 miles south of Cairo, they feel far more isolated, an effect enhanced by their obscurity; while the Giza pyramids are crowded all day, almost no tourists bother to visit Dahshur.

On the one hand, it’s understandable, as the Giza pyramids are closer and a superior pyramid complex. On the other hand, it’s a shame, because if they were anywhere besides the Cairo area, these two pyramids would be enormously popular attractions in their own right.

Another reason the Dahshur pyramids are less popular is that the area they were was a restricted military zone for a long time (and a barbed wire fence still passes through the area). There’s still a base nearby, as well as a military school of some kind. A goofy scribe statue sits at the entrance:

https://imgur.com/a/GAooOGD

Dahshur is home to two major pyramids, both built by the same pharaoh, Sneferu, father of Khufu. The older and more interesting of the two is the Bent Pyramid:

https://imgur.com/a/j7RsGbb

The Bent Pyramid was, we believe, the first effort at building a smooth-sided pyramid rather than the step pyramids that had come before. The name, obviously, comes from how the pyramid rises at a steep angle but then flattens out about halfway up. The theory is that the Egyptians realized the Pyramid would be too heavy and unstable if they continued to build at the initial angle, and so they altered the angle halfway. The catastrophic collapse of a similar pyramid at Meidum further south may have played a role.

While the Bent Pyramid is therefore something of a botched job, it’s still beautiful today because of the major pyramids it retains by far the largest percentage of its casing stones. As a result, the sides of the pyramid are still smooth, and they had to build a staircase for people to access the entrance:

https://imgur.com/a/wa95E4i

You can in fact enter the Bent Pyramid, but it’s closed right now and in any case you don’t have the time:

https://imgur.com/a/lFnaVVk

Off in the distance, you can spy the Black Pyramid, which collapsed in on itself long ago and no longer really resembles a pyramid. This structure was the source of the black pyramidion you saw in the Egyptian Museum.

https://imgur.com/a/zWxMQGd

You also have a great view of Sneferu’s second creation, the Red Pyramid:

https://imgur.com/a/8ru9ZLp

There’s literally nobody out here. It’s just you, Bossi, your car, and this lone Egyptian policeman who must have pissed somebody off to get stationed out in a place where almost no bribes can be taken.

https://imgur.com/a/oFoEw3Q

You next head over to the Red Pyramid, which honestly looks a little better at a distance due to the low angle making it unimposing up close.

https://imgur.com/a/JUf4x5D

https://imgur.com/a/4U7ufu9

Imposing or not, though, the Red Pyramid is immense, rising 350 feet and containing about three-fourths of the volume of Khafre’s pyramid. This makes Sneferu arguably the true pyramid-building champion of ancient Egypt, as he completed two separate major pyramids during his life.

After this quick stop, it’s time to head to your last big stop of the day, the ruins of ancient Memphis. Cairo is a modern city by Middle Eastern standards, only being founded in the 900s. Before that, there was Fustat, built by the first Islamic conquerors. Before Fustat, there was a Persian city named Babylon (often called Babylon-in-Egypt to distinguish from the Mesopotamian city). But before all these cities was Memphis, the capital of the Old Kingdom and one of the most important cities in Egypt for 3500 years. Memphis lies at the juncture of Upper and Lower Egypt, and may have been built as a planned capital by Menes or another early pharaoh to assert better control over the two kingdoms.

Sadly, not much of Memphis is left, as it was mostly a city of mud-brick, and the stone ruins were picked over by locals who used it to build up Cairo and other nearby towns. Still, there’s an open-air museum with a handful of nifty ruins. The centerpiece is a fallen colossus of Egyptian super-builder Ramses II. There were efforts in the 19th century to move the statue to Italy or to the British Museum, but the cost of moving it proved too great, so eventually they just built an entire museum around it and called it a day. Ramses has a lot of statues of himself out there, but this one stands out for its quality;

https://imgur.com/a/eNTg8Gk

https://imgur.com/a/VFleGXI

Ramses’ cartouche (his name written in hieroglyphs, contained within an oval) is placed all over the statue, which helped make it VERY clear who he was, while also making it harder for successors to stick their own name on the statue, which happened rather often to some pharaohs.

For example, this statue is attributed to Ramses II, but is probably a repurposed Middle Kingdom work:

https://imgur.com/a/754tqBi

As you view these two statues, Bossi mentions the popular portrayal of Ramses II as the pharaoh of the Exodus. She dismisses this, based not on Egyptological arguments, but on a Quranic one: The Quran says that Moses’ pharaoh had no children, when in fact Ramses had many children. Based on this, she believes the Exodus was under a Hyksos pharaoh, as several of them seemed to have been childless. This is an odd digression from scholarly considerations, but then again there’s very little extra-biblical evidence the Exodus happened at all, so it’s probably not worth dwelling too much over.

The other major item in the museum is a large alabaster sphinx:

https://imgur.com/a/oAaWluX

Both the Ramses statue and the sphinx once stood outside a great temple of Ptah, which today is totally ruined with only a few fragments left behind to excavate. Sic transit gloria mundi!

That finally wraps up a very long tour. After a half-hour drive, you’re back at your hotel, where you bid farewell to Bossi and your driver. But the day is not over. First, you take a brief rest in your room, where the hotel staff have fixed your air conditioner after you complained about it failing last night. In an attempt to win back your good graces, the hotel staff brings you a tasty lemonade for free!

https://imgur.com/a/UTEpWwW

Still, you can’t relax for long. With the sun setting, you hop in a cab and head over to Islamic Cairo. Of course, all of Cairo is “Islamic,” but this label refers to the medieval quarter of Cairo, built up under the Mamluks. The area has several gems of Islamic architecture, plus the Khan Al-Khalili, the city’s famous bazaar.

When you arrive at the south end of the quarter, the first mosque you see is the Al-Hussain Mosque, lit up with cheesy green lights:

https://imgur.com/a/uc5ivcT

The Al-Hussain Mosque is an old mosque, but not an old building; it dates to the 1800s. However, it’s a sacred site to Muslims, as it’s believed to hold the head of Muhammad’s grandson Hussain ibn Ali. It also holds a particularly old Quranic manuscript. However, the mosque is closed to non-Muslims. Bossi thinks these regulations are almost never enforced, but it’s evening prayers right now and a lot of young men are going into the mosque right now, so it seems best not to push your luck given Islam’s history of not being chill about things.

Instead, you take a chance to explore the area of the Khan Al-Khalili. While popular with tourists (who buy jewelry and souvenirs), the bazaar notably is also popular with Egyptians and has a lot of ordinary shops mixed, making it feel a little more authentic. For example, you pass a shop that appears dedicated to selling only scales. A rather niche market, to say the least:

https://imgur.com/a/dsd2O8K

You can buy individual loaves of bread for a single Egyptian pound, barely more than five cents USD:

https://imgur.com/a/uIqt7H6

A restaurant and hookah bar has some horrifying wax “performers” hanging about:

https://imgur.com/a/lXUrDjN

At the north end of the old city are two of the three remaining gates from the old city walls of Cairo. The more imposing of the two is the Bab al-Futuh, or Gate of the Conquest, built in 1087 just before the dawn of the crusader era.

https://imgur.com/a/l6nJPVG

Just inside the northern gate is the Al-Hakim Mosque, which is treated almost like a public park by denizens, who bring their kids to run around in the middle courtyard.

https://imgur.com/a/OfOif7K

As its name suggests, this mosque was built by the 11th-century Fatimid caliph Al-Hakim. Al-Hakim is a very unusual historical figure, to say the least. In the west he’s widely remembered as the “mad caliph,” thanks to his erratic and often despotic behavior. He routinely purged his top administrators, going through fifteen viziers in just 20 years. He was one of the first Muslim leaders to aggressively suppress Christianity, banning Easter celebrations and ordering the destruction of the original Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem. But while some regarded Al-Hakim as a tyrant, the Druze literally view him as God incarnate, and believe he will one day return to lead an army of believers to conquer the world. And speaking of returning, Al-Hakim’s reign didn’t even end with his death. He routinely rode out into the countryside to meditate, and on one such journey he simply vanished and was never seen again.

Anyway, this mosque was his doing, but after his reign it was mostly repurposed, becoming variously a stable, a school, and a barracks for Napoleon’s troops. Finally a few decades ago some rich Muslims paid to restore the mosque back to a worship-worthy state, and it remains so today.

There’s a lot of other classical Islamic architecture in the quarter, mostly concentrated on the still-bustling Muizz Street. You can’t go inside any of the old buildings at this late hour, but the interior of Islamic buildings is typically unexciting anyway, so admiring them from the outside is a perfectly good substitute:

https://imgur.com/a/y0YpBsz

https://imgur.com/a/UR8xurN

https://imgur.com/a/IWlaxU1

This Egyptian Chad is playing some popular song on a guitar; a ton of chicks are watching and singing along.

https://imgur.com/a/zTRz2SV

He could probably slay tons of chicks, but he should be careful: Egypt is one of the most conservative societies on Earth when it comes to premarital sex. More than 90% of people considering it unacceptable and honor killings still sometimes occur. Tread carefully, Chad!

Your visit so far has been heavily weighted towards Cairo’s Pharaonic and Islamic history, but there are occasional reminders of the sizable Coptic Christian minority. This shop has an image of the Virgin Mary on display:

https://imgur.com/a/Pg7htA0

After reaching the south end of Muizz Street, back near where you started at Al-Hussain, you decide to stop and eat some street kebab from a small shop. You foolishly don’t ask the price before ordering and he extorts you by charging 150 Egyptian pounds! Fuck, that’s like 8 dollars! As part of the meal you’re given some cooked vegetables on a plate, but you don’t get to eat all of them…because a woman in a niqab walks by and snatches them up with her bare hand! What the fuck! You snap a photo of her as she walks away:

https://imgur.com/a/TNGY3vc

After eating, you pass by the Al-Azhar Mosque.

https://imgur.com/a/aLfc47Q

The madrassa originally operating out of this mosque is more than a thousand years old, making it by some measures among the oldest universities in the world (most lists don’t count it, though). In the 20th century, its curriculum was expanded to include non-religious subjects and it was made a full university. There’s a larger campus several miles to the east, and ultimate thousands of schools across Egypt are affiliated with the university in some capacity. It still remains Egypt’s premier school of Islamic studies, though, and historically is conservative but also hostile to the extreme Salafist and Wahhabist ideologies emanating from Saudi Arabia.

At the far south end of Mamluk Cairo is the Bab Zuweila, the third of the three surviving medieval gateways to the city.

https://imgur.com/a/il39nu8

This gate has a particularly gory history. Muhammad Ali displayed the heads of slain Mamluks here after his seizure of power in 1811, and in the 1200s the Mamluks themselves flaunted the heads of six murdered Mongol envoys. Pretty much everywhere else on Earth in the 1200s, killing Mongol envoys was a one-way ticket to your entire country getting annihilated. But in what may be one of the most important battles in history, the Mamluks Qutuz and Baibars decisively crushed the Mongols at Ayn Jalut and halted their expansion into the Middle East.

It’s getting late and once again you have to get up early tomorrow, so you make your way back to your hotel on foot. The last thing you pass on the way home is the Abdeen Palace.

https://imgur.com/a/4IjzR0s

Built by Khedive Ismail in the 1860s, the Abdeen Palace transferred the seat of royal power from the Citadel down to a more modern, European-style palace in the heart of the city. Given the subsequent political turbulence in Egypt, this was almost certainly a bad move, as it left the king far more exposed to both mob violence and military action. Today Egypt’s president lives at a different palace in the suburb of Heliopolis that is less likely to be overrun by rioters. The Abdeen Palace has become a museum, but not one that you’ll be visiting during your lamentably short stay.

What a day! Tomorrow is your last full day in Cairo, and will be dedicated to the history and architecture of the city’s ancient Coptic Christian community.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36837767)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:03 AM
Author: razzle tripping mental disorder

cr if you go to dashur you literally have your run of the place and can go inside

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36837974)



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Date: September 19th, 2018 1:01 AM
Author: magenta flirting university pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36838225)



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Date: September 19th, 2018 7:12 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

wtf who steals vegetables

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36838741)



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Date: September 20th, 2018 4:05 AM
Author: diverse station

Cr what a cunt. Muslims are awful

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36846903)



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Date: September 19th, 2018 7:17 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

the Dahshur site looks incredible

looking forward to the episode tomorrow about the Copts, didn’t explore this aspect of Cairo at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36838756)



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Date: September 19th, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Fiercely-loyal cracking toilet seat indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36842029)



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Date: September 20th, 2018 7:32 AM
Author: soul-stirring olive point

lol @ some inbred egyptian being a "chad"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36847091)



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Date: September 19th, 2018 12:04 AM
Author: Electric senate

did you got to the spitfire club in alex?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36837980)



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Date: September 19th, 2018 12:07 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Did not go to Alexandria at all. Someday, perhaps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36837994)



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Date: September 19th, 2018 8:17 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

Were there any situations where you impressed a tour guide with your knowledge

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36838932)



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Date: September 19th, 2018 10:58 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Yeah both of my Egyptologist guides were clearly used to tourists who didn't even know the different Egyptian gods and seemed relieved to go into some additional detail.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36839799)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 7:32 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36843930)



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Date: September 20th, 2018 3:12 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Time for your third and final full day in Cairo. You have another tour booked today, but it doesn’t start until 9 and you’re up at 6. Cairo is really far east for its time zone so the sun is already completely up, so why not have a short walk through the Cairo downtown?

According to the Bible, Jews lived in Egypt more than 3500 years ago. Even if you prefer to stick to secular histories, they’ve been there for 2500 years. In the first half of the 20th century, Egypt had more than 100,000 Jews, but the creation of Israel and subsequent Arab-Israeli hostility caused a mass exodus. Today, fewer than two dozen Jews remain in Egypt, and their main place of worship is the Sha’ar Hashamayim Synagogue on Adly Street. It was built in 1899 and has a distinctive look that mildly evokes ancient Egyptian architecture:

https://imgur.com/a/mGIjHtM

Unsurprisingly the synagogue is considered a prime terrorism target, so it has more police and soldiers (you count at least ten) protecting it than it has worshippers. One of them sees you taking a photo and gets IRATE, saying you cannot take any more. Better move along fast!

The Sphinx isn’t the only place with KFC. It appears to be absurdly popular here and while you do see other Western chains (there’s a Hardees randomly right on Tahrir) KFC is the only one you see over and over.

https://imgur.com/a/oAGItAR

Egypt has migrants and homeless doods just like America. These three guys appear to have been sleeping in a park near Abdeen Palace.

https://imgur.com/a/eqEL1FV

One square at the heart of downtown is the Midan Opera, named after an opera house that burned down in the 70s and was replaced by a parking garage. In the middle of the square is a statue of Ibrahim Pasha, the greatest general in modern Egyptian history. He enslaved thousands of people while campaigning against the 1820s Greek anto-Ottoman insurgency, so Egyptian shitlibs will probably try to tear his statue down eventually:

https://imgur.com/a/KeFqqNV

At the west end of Midan Opera are the sad remains of the Continental-Savoy Hotel. Opened in 1869, it spent more than a half-century as Cairo’s top hotel. Lord Carnarvon died here after financing the excavation of King Tut’s tomb, becoming the first victim of the tomb’s supposed “curse.” The hotel closed in the 80s, and now is a collapsing ruin compared to what it looked like decades ago:

https://imgur.com/a/geRnDuP

http://www.egypttoday.com/siteimages/Larg/40718.jpg

This guy is riding a bike while balancing a ton of bread on his head. Seems hazardous!

https://imgur.com/a/SQ3yvlg

The true center of downtown is Talaat Harb Square. Talaat Harb was a FINANCE CHAD who founded Banque Misr, Egypt’s first modern, native-owned and operated bank.

https://imgur.com/a/g2H2GgQ

Holy shit, it’s the Egyptian Lawyers’ Association! Poasters on the Egyptian version of XO must congregate here to discuss scholarship.

https://imgur.com/a/DWKJ2DX

This statue honors Abdul Riad. He was a top commander in the disastrous Six-Day War with Israel, and then got blown up by an Israeli mortar during the War of Attrition.

https://imgur.com/a/LfGF71w

South of Talaat Harb is Tahrir Square. The big demonstrations during the 2011 revolution were here, although there actually isn’t a lot of open space in the square. The area is dominated by modern high-rise hotels, plus the Egyptian Museum.

https://imgur.com/a/3uHcJ17

At the south end of Tahrir is Egypt’s most infamous office building, the Mogamma (roughly meaning “The Complex”).

https://imgur.com/a/So1ZhOM

The story goes that the Mogamma was built with Soviet funds and reflects Soviet values, but it’s actually just a product of 1940s modernism and the notion that Egypt should have one, efficient, all-in-one administrative superbuilding. The building houses public offices for the Cairo governorate as well as the national interior, health, and education ministries. For decades, the Mogamma has been legendary for its impenetrable bureaucracy, operating essentially as a super-DMV and city hall that receives more than 50,000 visitors a day. Urban legends say that people have committed suicide from frustration after being repeatedly passed from office to office, while one of Egypt’s most popular films, Terrorism and Kebab, is about a man who inadvertently starts a terrorist takeover of the building when he gets in a fight with a particularly bothersome employee.

It’s only 7 am, and already hundreds of people can be seen waiting in a line that stretches outside the building.

https://imgur.com/a/9jdGnYn

The area south of the Mogamma is Cairo’s wealthy Garden City neighborhood, which includes the large British and American embassies. The streets flanking these embassies are closed off with cinderblocks due to security concerns:

https://imgur.com/a/G4GKhLw

Whoa, wait just a minute! It’s the morning, but that picture was clearly taken at night. What’s going on? I’ll tell you. While walking around Garden City, you come upon the single, heavily-guarded entrance to the American embassy. You snap a photo of it, and the guards on duty FLIP THE FUCK OUT. They demand to see your phone, and when you resist (they seem to want to delete ALL the photos on your phone, which would be very unfortunate), they take you into custody and bring you inside the cordon to meet their supervisor. If you really are a spy, this is a bad move, as you get a great glimpse of the U.S. embassy’s defenses: Several APCs and literally dozens of Egyptian soldiers. Fortunately, the supervisor is a little less intense than his subordinates. He makes sure your photo of the embassy is deleted, inspects your passport, and asks some basic questions about your stay in Egypt (the only Egyptian security official who ever bothers with that), but once he’s satisfied he allows you to walk away without any further trouble. Close call!

Having made your escape, you next walk past Egypt’s parliament building. It’s surprisingly rather small.

https://imgur.com/a/NGAhMFv

Egypt’s justice and interior ministries are clearly fed up with civil disturbance, and have surrounded themselves with concrete barriers to keep out possibly-violent crowds.

https://imgur.com/a/udWGRIG

Despite your scuffle with the Egyptian military, you make it back to your hotel in time for your tour. You’re going to a Christian church, so naturally your guide’s name is Muhammad Osama.

It’s gonna be a great day.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36846870)



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Date: September 20th, 2018 3:24 AM
Author: magenta flirting university pervert

180^180

hawaiimo who will possibly never go to cairo and am absolutely loving this thread ty sir

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36846877)



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Date: September 20th, 2018 4:32 AM
Author: diverse station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36846911)



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Date: September 20th, 2018 11:29 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36848208)



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Date: September 20th, 2018 4:44 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

180 scuffle with the fuzz

that Mogamma place looks killself depressing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36846919)



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Date: September 20th, 2018 7:00 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

do you think the guy with the cane is going to the Egyptian Lawyer's Association to find Cairo Shitlaw Guru?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36847053)



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Date: December 27th, 2019 3:16 AM
Author: Fragrant bespoke chapel giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#39332576)



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Date: September 20th, 2018 7:41 AM
Author: soul-stirring olive point

bread dude is ALPHA af

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36847109)



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Date: September 20th, 2018 9:17 AM
Author: razzle tripping mental disorder

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36847317)



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Date: September 20th, 2018 12:26 PM
Author: Fiercely-loyal cracking toilet seat indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36848668)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 21st, 2018 12:47 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Your tour today isn’t as broad or as long as yesterday’s. Instead, your guide is here to take you to and from one of Cairo’s harder-to-reach attractions: The Muqattam cave churches.

The churches aren’t incredibly far off, distance-wise. In fact, they’re closer than the Giza Pyramids. Socially, though, the churches are a huge departure from everything you’ve seen so far, because the path to them passes through one of Cairo’s worst slums, the Garbage City.

https://imgur.com/a/fL3crr1

One of Cairo’s peculiar features are the tens of thousands of Zabbaleen, poor Coptic Christians who for close to 80 years have made a living by collecting the city’s garbage and either using or recycling it. The streets of the Garbage City are therefore flooded with garbage of all types which the Zabbaleen pick over and sort. As you learn when the driver briefly has to roll down his window to clear a checkpoint, the stench is immense.

https://imgur.com/a/kqumwiG

https://imgur.com/a/D7onGmi

The Zabbaleen’s way of life is threatened by modernization, as Egypt would badly like to have its capital city develop a normal waste disposal process. But it’s also threatened by apparent bigotry. Traditionally, the Zabbaleen feed all the edible garbage to pigs, and then sold the pigs for meat within the Coptic community. During the 2009 swine flu scare, the Egyptian government ordered the wholesale culling of their swine herds, in a move that was widely seen as motivated more by the Islamic prohibition on pork consumption than by any health concerns.

The whole slum is visibly Christian in character, with Christian statues, signs, and symbols all over the place. Just like in Catholic countries, images of the Virgin Mary are particularly popular.

https://imgur.com/a/vzq0j6i

There’s also a painted mural of what seems to be a well-regarded cleric; it’s unclear if he is a modern or historical one.

https://imgur.com/a/ecRubfM

After passing through the trash slum, you ascend Cairo’s Muqattam. As you do so, you see Christian religious imagery carved right into the side of the mountain:

https://imgur.com/a/Bfz1htq

https://imgur.com/a/IoRrmoD

Eventually, you reach your destination, the Cathedral of St. Mary and St. Simon the Tanner, or as it is better known, the Cave Church. The Cave Church is the largest church for the Garbage City’s Coptic Christians, and as such is one of the largest Christian churches in the entire Middle East, with room for thousands of worshippers. You’ve probably guessed how it got its name: The whole thing is carved right into the side of Muqattam.

https://imgur.com/a/PNbteAQ

https://imgur.com/a/elXeYSD

https://imgur.com/a/aMQonrd

In contrast to the garbage-filled slum surrounding it, the Cave Church is perhaps the most impeccably clean place you’ve been so far in Cairo, with not a single scrap of litter anywhere. Normally, the church would be sparsely occupied at this hour, but a funeral service is being performed.

https://imgur.com/a/pA0vm7M

A big crowd has turned out; women sit up front, almost uniformly wearing black, while men in ordinary clothes fill the rows further up.

As you wait through the funeral service, Muhammad Osama explains the history of Egyptian Christianity and St. Simon’s in particular. Unsurprisingly, Egypt features one of the oldest Christian communities in the world. According to tradition, Egypt was first evangelized by St. Mark, author of the eponymous Gospel. Supposedly, the first Egyptian Christian was a shoemaker named Anianus, whom Mark visited to have a shoe repaired. Anianus accidentally cut himself while working, and cursed by crying out “Oh, the only God!” Mark seized this opportunity to preach the gospel, and won his first convert.

Whatever the truth of that story, Christianity flourished very early in Egypt, with a large presence by the mid-2nd century. Alexandria became one of the five patriarchal sees of the early church. However, the Egyptian church gradually grew apart from both Roman and Greek Christianity, due to Egyptian bishops’ rejection of the Council of Chalcedon. The key issue was that Egyptians adhered to Monophysitism, the belief that Christ had only one nature, either fully divine or part-human, part-divine. This clashed with the orthodox view that Christ had two natures, one fully human and another fully divine. This dispute was of macrohistorical importance; it’s often theorized that the Muslims so easily conquered Egypt in part because the Monophysite majority regarded the Muslims and the Byzantine emperor as equally heretical. Today, the Coptic church prefers the term Miaphysite to Monophysite; Miaphysitism is a more moderate position, saying that Christ has two natures but they are mixed together rather than being fully distinct (isn’t theology fun?).

Even after the Muslim conquest, Egypt probably had a Christian majority until the 1200s, and even today Egypt has the largest Christian minority in the Middle East, though estimates about the total number of Copts vary wildly (from 5 million to as many as 20 million).

Wow, the funeral is STILL going on. Muhammad Osama goes on to describe the story of St. Simon. Here’s how the story goes:

In the 10th century, Cairo was ruled by the Muslim caliph al-Muizz. Al-Muizz was a scholarly man, who tolerated all faiths and enjoyed hosting debates between men of different sects. One day, he invited the Coptic pope, Abraam, to debate his Jewish vizier, Yaqub ibn Killis. Abraam was supposedly trouncing Yaqub in the debate, so Yaqub played his trump card, quoting Christ’s words from the Gospel of Mattew “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Citing this line, Yaqub argued that Abraam’s faith was a sham.

The caliph turned to Abraam, and asked, “Does he speak truly?”

“Yes,” Abraam replied.

“Very well,” said the caliph, and he then pointed toward Muqattam. “Move this mountain within three days, or I will kill you and all your followers, for I will not tolerate any false beliefs in my kingdom.”

Quite fearful, Abraam prayed that night and received a vision from the Virgin, who told him to find a one-eyed man carrying jugs of water to the poor. This man was Simon the Tanner. Simon was a righteous man who took his gospels very literally, so literally in fact, that when he felt lust for a woman while fitting a shoe to her foot, he plucked out one of his eyes rather than letting it lead him into sin.

Pope Abraam asked Simon what the Copts should do. Simon said that the pope should gather the entire Coptic community at the side of Muqattam.

According to the story, on the dawn of the third day, both the caliph and his soldiers and the Coptic community were gathered at Muqattam. At Simon’s urging, the pope cried out “lord, have mercy” three times as the entire Coptic community prayed behind him. And then, to the astonishment of all, the mountain rose, into the air, so high that through the gap between it and the earth the crowds could see the rising sun. By this great miracle, the Christians of Egypt were saved, but Simon the Tanner was never seen again.

There is, of course, no contemporary historical evidence this miracle ever happened, but hey, it’s a nice story. Also, the funeral is finally done! Let’s go down for a closer look.

Only clergy are allowed through this gate, where relics believed to be those of St. Simon were discovered a few decades ago.

https://imgur.com/a/ioehTTx

Painted images show Pope Abraam’s vision of St. Simon, and the moment of the mountain rising, complete with the caliph tumbling from his horse in astonishment.

https://imgur.com/a/SrRlVbj

https://imgur.com/a/VnVIMIL

There are actually three churches at the site of St. Simon’s. One is just a normal church building, but the Church of St. Mark is also hewn out of the mountain.

https://imgur.com/a/vhUwAqm

This church has carvings of the life of St. Simon. They include a scene of St. Simon preparing to pluck out his own eye, even though most Christian scholars would tell you to not take that particular verse literally.

https://imgur.com/a/1rZKeIh

https://imgur.com/a/oLtpZsC

https://imgur.com/a/S1j8Bb7

This art portrays a supposed miracle related to the discovery of St. Simon’s relics, where a piece of paper with the address of the place to luck miraculously blew into a guy’s hand.

https://imgur.com/a/GbYkRpT

Oddly, another carving simply shows the scene where Potiphar’s slut wife tried to bang Joseph.

https://imgur.com/a/IqJGay6

After you finish exploring, you return to your car and your guide drives you to pick up some lunch. It’s basic falafel and nothing memorable. After that, the tour is over, and you’re dropped back at your hotel. But guess what: It’s still only noon. Your next stop is a few miles to the south, in the neighborhood now known as Old Cairo.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36854640)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 21st, 2018 1:12 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Another photo from elsewhere, to give a better sense of how big this church is:

https://lh4.ggpht.com/-jekHeddNqek/Ui8o3pyqSmI/AAAAAAAAsQs/hugQZwBiHOE/zabaleen-church-1%25255B6%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36854784)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 21st, 2018 5:30 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

Incredible. I’m hoping to make a delayed Ethiopia trip next summer where the rock churches will be high on the agenda.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36855459)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 21st, 2018 1:45 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

180. Make a thread about it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36857695)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 21st, 2018 4:31 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36858788)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 23rd, 2018 11:10 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

Definitely. No clue if the source material will be as rich as Egypt. But the trip will include a free stay at a Kenyan game park (if it finally goes ahead, depends entirely on wife’s availability) so there will hopefully be some bonus cool wild animal pics to complement the rock churches.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36868697)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 3rd, 2018 1:32 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36947777)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 21st, 2018 2:21 AM
Author: diverse station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36855161)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 21st, 2018 5:26 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

In the 2nd pic of the Muqattam mountain, what is the religious imagery carved into the mountain? The 10 Commandments written in Arabic or something?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36855456)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 21st, 2018 10:56 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

That's my assumption, but I can't read Arabic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36856544)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 21st, 2018 7:06 AM
Author: soul-stirring olive point

Christians are 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36855583)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 21st, 2018 1:58 PM
Author: magenta flirting university pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36857784)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 23rd, 2018 11:01 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

pls respond

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36868664)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 23rd, 2018 11:47 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

The second half of today’s trip requires traveling about three miles south of downtown to Coptic Cairo. To get there, you’re taking a ride on the Cairo subway. Cairo is a chaotic city, but the subway is cheap (just a few LE per ride) and well-run, and the central Sadat station is right by your hotel.

One interesting quirk of the system is that there are special cars exclusively for women (though they’re also allowed on the regular cars). You can see women on the platform waiting in a designated area to board it.

https://imgur.com/a/Y9mb6z7

Even though you’re riding in the middle of the day, your car is packed. This must be a nightmare during rush hour!

https://imgur.com/a/lX5K4TL

After a short ride, you hop off at Mar Girgis station, which is directly opposite the Coptic Cairo neighborhood. The area you’re about to visit is remarkably small: A museum, several churches, a cemetery, and a synagogue all packed into an old neighborhood that is a few hundred feet across at its widest.

Your first stop is St. Mary’s Coptic Orthodox Church, or as it’s better known to the world, the Hanging Church.

https://imgur.com/a/zzppVSX

The Hanging Church is so named because it’s built right on top of the gatehouse of a Roman-era fortress. In ancient times it was well above the surrounding landscape; today it’s only a few stories up because the elevation of the city streets has risen about 6 meters of the past 1500 years. However, through a hole in the floor, as well as the windows, you can see how the church is suspended well above the street below.

https://imgur.com/a/BrWLErR

https://imgur.com/a/gOTDa8U

The Hanging Church is notable for more than just being a couple dozen feet above the ground, though. It’s one of Cairo’s oldest churches, dating back to at least the 600s (although the actual structure has been restored or substantially rebuilt numerous times). For several hundred years in the middle ages, it was the seat of the Coptic pope. Several Marian apparitions are attested for this church, and in the legend of the moving of Muqattam Mountain, the pope had his vision of Mary and St. Simon while praying here.

The Hanging Church has more than 100 icons in it, but the most-revered is one of the Virgin Mary with the Christ child. It supposedly dates to the 8th century. Some terrible people have nicknamed it the “Coptic Mona Lisa.” As you walk in, several candles are burning in front of it, and some people are leaving more.

https://imgur.com/a/c2H6OW7

Several icons honor St. Demiana and the 40 Virgins. Demiana led a convent of nuns who were all martyred during the Great Persecution of Diocletion. Demiana and her fellow nuns are very popular Egyptian saints.

https://imgur.com/a/jxzLvMF

https://imgur.com/a/yzZ1q2T

This icon honors St. James the Sawn-Asunder, a Persian martyr who was cut to pieces by the shah. He is shown riding over his own cut up remains (and yes, if you zoom in, they’ve typo-ed his title as the “Swan-Asunder”).

https://imgur.com/a/pB0PPlt

This icon shows a famous legend involving St. Mercurius, a soldier-saint from the 3rd century.

https://imgur.com/a/PviOyy5

According to the legend, St. Basil prayed before an icon of Mercurius that the emperor Julian the Apostate not be allowed to return from his campaign in Persia to resume a persecution of Christians. Supposedly, Mercurius suddenly vanished from the icon, only to reappear a moment later with a bloodstained spear. Julian, of course, died in Persia after being speared by an unknown soldier.

The marble pulpit of the church dates to the 11th century.

https://imgur.com/a/L3GeVk7

It’s held up by 13 pillars that are said to represent Jesus and his 12 apostles. One pillar is black, representing Judas, while a grey pillar represents Doubting Thomas. Or at least, that’s what they say. From your perspective, there seem to be 15 pillars, not 13, it’s hard to say which one is supposed to be grey instead of white, and the black and grey pillars seem extremely close to one another in color. Also, this is supposedly recurring Coptic church feature but you can only find mention of this tradition in articles about the Hanging Church. You make a mental note to ask a Copt about this if you ever get the chance.

The altar screen, made of ebony inlaid with bone and ivory, is also of medieval origin.

https://imgur.com/a/Q3auHFA

https://imgur.com/a/GPmqqUd

The modern entrance area for the Hanging Church has photos of Coptic leaders meeting with Nasser and Sadat, plus photos or paintings of each Coptic pope from the last few centuries.

https://imgur.com/a/00Vol9v

https://imgur.com/a/GRruvdY

Outside the church, you can see the remains of the Babylon Fortress, used by the Romans during their rule of Egypt.

https://imgur.com/a/66bMWCP

The Coptic Museum lies right next to these fortress ruins, but for now we’ll bypass it to see the rest of the area’s religious buildings. The largest one actually isn’t a Coptic church at all. It’s the Greek Orthodox Church of St. George, which is the seat of the Eastern Orthodox Patriarch of Alexandria, whose see covers literally all of Africa. Egypt only has a handful of Greek Orthodox Christians, but their history there dates all the way back to the 400s, when the church split over the Council of Chalcedon.

https://imgur.com/a/00EWKKC

The current church building is impressive, but not old; it dates to the 20th century. A mosaic shows a church leader offering the church building to St. George (while the building also looms in the background…yeah). I have no idea who the two people are who resemble a news anchor team; maybe they’re some rich Orthos who donated to have the church built.

https://imgur.com/a/riDvptJ

The interior is well-decorated

An icon on the inside shows Jesus with silver hands and feet.

https://imgur.com/a/fgc3XBT

Traditionally St. George is believed to have been martyred by Diocletian in Nicomedia, but Egyptian traditions hold that he was at least imprisoned for a time in Egypt as well. A cave area below the church holds icons of St. George where people leave prayer offerings in niches.

https://imgur.com/a/xXZZZCN

After leaving Church of St. George, you finally enter the “true” Coptic quarter. It requires descending a staircase and going through a small tunnel, which brings you to a small, claustrophobic quarter that lies several meters below the surrounding area.

https://imgur.com/a/stgtqgG

There’s several religious buildings packed into this tiny area. The first stop is the Monastery of St. George, a nunnery paired with the Church of St. George. There is only one way to describe this place: It has zero sense of religious reverence and seems to be pandering to tourists.

This well is supposedly the source of miraculous cures:

https://imgur.com/a/a6POevf

The chief attraction of the church is a chain fashioned to a wall, which is allegedly the chain St. George was bound in during his tortures. People are posing for photos with the chain.

https://imgur.com/a/Wi9ml0Q

This door dates to the Middle Ages. You find that claim a little more believable than the one about St. George’s chains.

https://imgur.com/a/ESC3Ddn

After leaving the monastery you continue through the quarter to the Coptic Church of Saints Sergius and Bacchus. It has an unassuming street entrance.

https://imgur.com/a/jOXf2Lm

Sergius and Bacchus are two more soldier-saints, supposedly martyred together by the Emperor Galerius. They are a popular saint pair for gay Christians because of the suggestion they may have been gay lovers instead of just friends. This church (which has been rebuilt and restored several times over) was long the place where the Coptic patriarch was chosen and consecrated, but later lost that status to the Hanging Church.

That’s not what makes it notable though. Instead, this church claims to be built over a cave where the Holy Family lived during their flight into Egypt. And just like the Monastery of St. George, it’s full of cheesy signage to highlight this.

THE WELL WHICH THE HOLY FAMILY DRANK FROM:

https://imgur.com/a/XVrDv5a

THE STONES UPON WHICH THE HOLY FAMILY TROD:

https://imgur.com/a/sUofsMB

https://imgur.com/a/twGmmjH

THE CAVE IN WHICH THE HOLY FAMILY LIVED:

https://imgur.com/a/SttjAbl

THE WALL NICHE WHERE THE INFANT JESUS SLEPT:

https://imgur.com/a/ZkbmZ8O

THE GIFT SHOP WHERE YOU CAN BUY STUFF:

https://imgur.com/a/ALkQqeJ

A chick poses beneath the pulpit. She needs to be in top form to make sure she maxes out her Insta likes on this trip.

https://imgur.com/a/MAhNmPH

The next building in the old quarter isn’t Coptic or Greek Orthodox, or even Christian. It’s not even a mosque. That’s right, it’s the Ben Ezra Synagogue! While the building is recent (1890s), a synagogue has been on the site since before the Islamic conquest.

Every other site in Coptic Cairo freely allows photography, but Ben Ezra synagogue bans it. This simply means the site guards are comically aggressive in trying to extract a bribe for photos, though. In fact, they’re probably the most aggressive baksheesh-seekers you’ve seen this whole trip (they especially ramp up when they learn you’re American; maybe they think you’re a Jew). They also love walking up and pointing out obvious features of the synagogue in broken English so that you feel obligated to tip them for their heroic guide efforts.

Of course, this merely triggers your competitive impulse. You’re not give them a single piaster. Instead, you wait for other tourists to enter and distract the guards for a moment, and then sneak a few photos of the interior.

https://imgur.com/a/USalNyo

https://imgur.com/a/P84yq5S

https://imgur.com/a/iifikqg

https://imgur.com/a/tcngCHn

The last church you see in the old quarter is that of St. Barbara. Once again, a church has been here a long time, but the original structure was razed by the Mad Caliph Hakim. The general form of the church dates to the 11th century, but there have been substantial restorations and rebuilds since then.

https://imgur.com/a/xcr4Enh

The church originally honored Saints Cyrus and John, but was renamed after its rebuilt in honor of St. Barbara, who has several relics here despite being of very dubious historicity.

https://imgur.com/a/gq5AyM9

As you leave the Coptic Quarter, you pass this sign which looks metal as fuck.

https://imgur.com/a/2Dp3f6B

It’s now the mid-afternoon, but the day isn’t finished. Up next is the Coptic Museum, the oldest mosque in Cairo, and a last evening in downtown before leaving for Luxor.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36874308)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 24th, 2018 8:29 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

How do Copts dress? Shirt and pants like othet Egyptians, or anything notably different? Can you tell who is a Copt from their appearance?

Edit I worked with a Coptic-origin guy once, to me he looked exactly like the Egyptians in the Asterix books

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36876015)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 24th, 2018 3:01 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Men don't dress differently, but outside of church Coptic women typically do not wear a hijab, apparently. I didn't really see this in action myself, though, as the only time I saw a large mass of presumably Coptic women was at the funeral, where they had their heads covered.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36878514)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth

Fantastic. It didn't even occur to me to go to these sites when I was there.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36876098)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 24th, 2018 3:15 PM
Author: sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap

Solid, Orthodox bros.

It's an iconostasis, btw. Not an "altar screen."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36878626)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 24th, 2018 3:23 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

An iconostasis is literally an altar screen, but in any case the main level of the screen contains no icons, so it'd be odd calling it the "iconostasis." In general Coptic church seem to have substantially fewer icons than every EO church I've been to.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36878687)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 24th, 2018 3:30 PM
Author: sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap

I'm tempting to create a poast like this for my upcoming trip to Kyiv, Riga, and Moscow. My moniker doesn't have an easy version of BOBBY DIGITAL, however.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36878732)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 24th, 2018 3:33 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

DOGGY DIGITAL?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36878767)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 24th, 2018 3:36 PM
Author: sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap

my dog is a bigger BOBBY DIGITAL fan than I am

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36878789)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 24th, 2018 7:14 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

...and he doesn't even have a passport!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36880132)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 24th, 2018 9:29 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36881140)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 24th, 2018 7:20 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

you've very mean to the Copts over how cheesy their tourist sites are. still MAF about their rejection of Chalcedon?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36880168)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 24th, 2018 10:37 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Nah the thing that pissed me off the most was the St George chain and that was purely the doing of the perfidious Greeks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36881678)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 24th, 2018 7:45 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36875880)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 24th, 2018 10:55 PM
Author: magenta flirting university pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36881808)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 25th, 2018 1:37 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Your last stop in Old Cairo is the museum you passed back by the Babylon Fortress. That museum is the Coptic Museum, dedicated to historical artifacts from Egypt’s Christian community.

The museum is roughly chronological in its approach; the first artifact is a fresco of saints taken from the Monastery of St. Jeremiah.

https://imgur.com/a/9LwpOTH

Monasticism is Egypt’s great contribution to Christendom; the practice originated here and several monasteries still in operation date all the way back to the 300s. St. Jeremiah is actually right in the middle of the Saqqara necropolis, but is a ruin and in fact was only discovered and excavated about 100 years ago. Today, a great many artifacts from it are in this museum.

But first, there’s some stone reliefs from the last gasp of Roman paganism. One item shows Aphrodite emerging from a seashell, just like in the Botticelli painting. Another looks vaguely Indian, though it’s probably just a coincidence.

https://imgur.com/a/JYbq3rT

https://imgur.com/a/eJXPLL9

A collection of grave markers shows how even in the early Christian era, Horus and Anubis were still appearing in art, but gradually they faded away, and even the Egyptian ankh turned into a looped variation on the Christian cross (some people think the incidental ankh/cross similarity helped make Christianity so successful in Egypt in the first place).

https://imgur.com/a/hJqqglW

https://imgur.com/a/MJKw9aM

https://imgur.com/a/2J7tb5R

The next room is all items from St. Jeremiah. The main feature is painted prayer niches, which would be used by monks to inspire their prayers. One shows Mary breastfeeding the Christ child, an image that has largely died out in Western Christianity but still appears in the East (btw, if you want to see something weird, google Lactatio Bernardi).

https://imgur.com/a/t5zO0GB

https://imgur.com/a/3qhDXw0

https://imgur.com/a/WQb1rN8

https://imgur.com/a/alwdES7

This stone pulpit is one of the oldest known, and may have drawn inspiration the Heb-Sed thrones used in Zoser’s funerary complex next door to the Monastery.

https://imgur.com/a/3nEIImT

Crazy thing to think: Zoser’s funerary complex was as old to the St. Jeremiahmos of the 5th century as the Trojan War is to us.

The next room has another prayer niche, this one from the sixth century and recovered from the Bawit Monastery of Middle Egypt.

https://imgur.com/a/htWpBx7

Notably, this prayer niche shows Christ seated on a fiery throne, surrounded by the four creatures of the Apocalypse. Many people are aware that the writers of the Gospels are often represented artistically as such: Mark is a lion, Luke is an ox, Matthew is a man, and John is an eagle. These associations come from the Book of Revelation, where these four creatures are described flanking the throne of God. In that version, they’re described as winged and covered in eyes, so in this depiction you can see eyes scribbled all over them.

In an image that evokes the satirical papyrus from the Egyptian Museum, a papyrus shows three mice approaching a cat waving a flag and offering it a cup of wine. Why? That is unclear.

https://imgur.com/a/y6exJFm

The museum has several old handwritten copies of the gospels, written in Coptic and Arabic.

https://imgur.com/a/VbRUexf

Among the many types of devotional items in late antiquity and the medieval era were household goods carved from bone or ivory and bearing religious scenes. A tiny comb shows the raising of Lazarus, while a panel shows Christ appearing to the apostles at his resurrection.

https://imgur.com/a/QJwlM9Y

https://imgur.com/a/uGIGJqr

An old tapestry shows the story of Adam and Eve: After they eat of the Tree of Knowledge, they become too ashamed to continue nude bodybuilding.

https://imgur.com/a/qYTZsrw

Are these supposed to be people? Animals? The more you look at them, the stranger they are.

https://imgur.com/a/WWJYOa3

The next exhibit contains a few pages from one of the most important finds in Biblical archaeology, the Nag Hammadi codices. These books, totaling over 1000 pages, date to the 3rd century and were discovered in the Egyptian village of Nag Hammadi. The find dramatically increased our knowledge of Gnosticism by providing the first (and in some cases only) complete copies of various gnostic texts. The most famous gnostic work is the Gospel of Thomas; its first two pages are on display here.

https://imgur.com/a/0csjbEa

One amusing exhibit shows potsherds with shitty Coptic doodles drawn on them by bored Egyptians:

https://imgur.com/a/NrJqAtt

https://imgur.com/a/pxqJSbC

In a weird case that makes it really hard to see or photograph, the museum has a complete Book of Psalms dating to the 4th or 5th century. It has an ankh bookmark.

https://imgur.com/a/3JhXE4D

These wooden children’s toys date to the Byzantine era.

https://imgur.com/a/urjZMlQ

The last few rooms aren’t as interesting, but there is a room of medieval icons. One shows St. Zacharias being throttled to death, and another has John the Baptist holding his own head.

https://imgur.com/a/4eWyuHv

https://imgur.com/a/7kkvAEt

A final item of interest is a large rug depicting religious scenes; they were apparently sold to pilgrims to Palestine, who rolled them up and took them home.

https://imgur.com/a/gFGkXMx

One part of the rug shows what looks to be the Last Judgment, with sinners found wanting thrown into the mouth of a giant monster.

https://imgur.com/a/9b6Bfzy

Black Jesus!

https://imgur.com/a/udXeLdT

That was a neat little museum. Having finished that, you start walking north. It’s a little too far to walk all the way back to downtown, but there’s a few cool things to see in this neighborhood before leaving.

First, there’s the Mosque of Amr.

https://imgur.com/a/ffJg6od

Like most of Cairo’s mosques, it’s been rebuilt a few times, but the location is still the site of Cairo’s first ever mosque, dating all the way back to 641, just one year after the capture of Babylon-in-Egypt.

As you go in, evening prayers are taking place.

https://imgur.com/a/aNJw9dd

This mosque seems to have a lot of poorer dudes just crashing in it.

https://imgur.com/a/gaWJHZU

Supposedly this mosque has a column with an eroded gash caused by people licking it in search of miraculous cures, but you can’t find it.

Northwest of the mosque is a Coptic cemetery. It still seems to be in use, or at least the tombs seem recent and aren’t horribly dilapidated.

https://imgur.com/a/vx0SH6t

There’s another small quarter nearby, the Deir Abu’l-Sayfayn, that contains several more old Coptic churches. A sign in the church of St. Mecurius points you to the cell of St. Barsoum, and notes he is “know as the Naked he barely wore any clothes.”

https://imgur.com/a/7FwVfKw

A modern painting shows Barsoum posing with the snake he lived with; sadly clothing propagandists seem to have covered his body up, leaving only the snake as a metaphorical representation of his naked bodybuilding prowess.

https://imgur.com/a/WrLgxIn

St. Nofer the Anchorite had a 190000 beard, apparently.

https://imgur.com/a/O6hcrPl

Copts seem to really like president El-Sisi. This plaque is the second you’ve seen with his name on it, celebrating the restoration of an old church.

https://imgur.com/a/RfXFd1X

Another block north is a cemetery holding the tombs of Commonwealth World War 2 soldiers, as well as other Protestants living in Egypt. The meticulous care given to keeping it clean sets it apart from pretty much every other place in Cairo.

https://imgur.com/a/tb3JxVY

The last interesting sight in the area is the remnant of Cairo’s old aqueduct. A large water-wheel was used to raise water up to the top of the Aqueduct at the river’s edge, and the water then flowed over to the Citadel, allowing it to have easy water access without being near the river.

https://imgur.com/a/CTUxiRv

All right, time for some food. You haven’t really eaten at a single notable Cairo spot, so let’s change this. You catch a cab and head back to downtown, where you stop at the Café Riche.

https://imgur.com/a/CaXy4i9

The Café Riche is basically just a conventional café, but it has a long history. Nasser and other officers plotted the overthrow of the king here in the 50s, while the attempted assassin of Egypt’s last Coptic prime minister waited here before striking his target.

Rather than getting a full meal, you just get a Turkish-style coffee with a rice milk dessert. Both are 180!

https://imgur.com/a/yHk9Quw

For actual dinner, you go to Fasahet Somaya, a family operation in the truest sense of the word.

https://imgur.com/a/MqZi5EK

Somaya appears to be some mom whose cooking was good enough that she started to simply make way more of it each night and then opened a restaurant to sell it to people. The restaurant is only open 5-8 each night, has only a few tables and just a couple options each night, but the food is excellent. So excellent you don’t even remember to take any pictures of it.

Lastly, for dessert, you go to Cairo’s super-popular El Abd pastry shop. This place is basically a dessert utopia, offering exceptional pastries, cakes, ice creams, cookies, and more, all at a remarkably low price point for a Westerner. Don’t pig out too much!

https://imgur.com/a/x9Kwzfs

https://imgur.com/a/xsUXpui

As you return to your hotel, you pass by a bookshop that is displaying its English-language books. Apparently, even tourists and Egyptians love reading about Trump.

https://imgur.com/a/hTnJq7A

And with that, you’ve finally wrapped up your three-day blitz through Cairo, and reached the halfway point of your trip! You head back to your hotel to sleep; tomorrow, you’re taking a morning flight to Luxor.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36882696)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 25th, 2018 1:51 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

So Coptic was basically written in Greek script? How Hellenized were the Copts? I know you’ve probably answered this in previous posts.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36882728)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 25th, 2018 2:10 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Well, to be clear, while the west uses "Copt" to refer to Egyptian Christians, "Coptic" literally just means Egyptian. The Coptic language is just the final evolution of the ancient Egyptian language before it was displaced by Arabic. The Coptic alphabet did borrow heavily from the Greek one, and the Egyptian ruling elite was quite Hellenized during the Ptolemaic period, when Alexandria being a great city of Greek learning and the like. Nevertheless, the natives of Egypt were never particularly Greek in their language or anything else.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36882768)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 25th, 2018 2:25 PM
Author: contagious ape heaven

Interesting ty. Is the Coptic language completely dead or do they still speak it at all or have liturgic uses for it?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36885810)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 25th, 2018 2:34 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

The Coptic Christians use it in their liturgy, but otherwise it was displaced by Arabic in the Middle Ages.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36885881)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 25th, 2018 7:30 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

lol @ the naked dude's animal being a snake

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36883279)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 25th, 2018 5:55 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36887549)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 30th, 2018 10:12 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36926067)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 25th, 2018 8:01 AM
Author: diverse station

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36883317)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 25th, 2018 10:29 AM
Author: sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36883965)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 25th, 2018 11:14 AM
Author: razzle tripping mental disorder

bump 4 Black Jesus

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36884208)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 25th, 2018 2:23 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36885792)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 26th, 2018 2:32 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

Pls respond

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36893631)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 28th, 2018 1:48 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

You ready for day 4? You’d better be. Your trip is only half over; this is no time for resting. You get up early, summon an Uber (it’s cheaper than getting a street taxi), and head off to Cairo’s airport. This is Egypt, so once again, security is excessive; you need to go through security TWICE, once at the entrance and a second time at the gate itself. Also, the airport has some odd design where the gate itself is closed until just a few minutes before boarding time, even though it has a bunch of seating and stuff. Additionally, there is an airport wide announcement for the start of boarding and last call for EVERY flight. It’s a bit annoying, though also interesting to hear the destinations (Khartoum and N’Djamena stand out).

This is a domestic Egyptian flight, so the stewardesses have headscarves and hand out Arabic newspapers:

https://imgur.com/a/Ky7IGjM

There’s also a pretty nice breakfast for a one-hour flight, but you’re still tired and you nap through it. D’oh!

A short hour-long flight later, you’re in Luxor. A sign decrees that you should be happy about this.

https://imgur.com/a/ZiweUXZ

You quickly grab a cab from the airport into town. Thanks to Egypt’s cheap currency and lower tourism since the revolution, hotels in Luxor are cheap as hell. For just $17 a night, you’re able to stay at the Winter Palace, one of the city’s nicest establishments.

https://imgur.com/a/cnsfe0M

Your balcony overlooks a large, well-maintained garden, which must use a frightful amount of the Nile’s precious water.

https://imgur.com/a/39UF4vQ

That bed is seriously inviting after three days of high-intensity touring an very little sleep, but you refuse to succumb to temptation. Luxor has a LOT of stuff to see, and you need to maximize every moment here.

For those who only know Luxor as a Vegas hotel, a short introduction: Luxor is a much smaller city than Cairo, holding about 500,000 people. Luxor is an Anglicization of the Arab name, Al-Uqsor, meaning “The Palaces.” In ancient Egypt, though, Luxor was the site of Waset. The city was also known as Ta Pe, the name given to its greatest temple complex. The Ancient Greeks noticed that Ta Pe sounded very similar to a great city in their own country, which is why Waset is better-known today by another name: Thebes.

Thebes has a very ancient history, and was the capital of Egyptian dynasties as early as the First Intermediate Period around 2100 BC. However, its greatest glory came after a local dynasty drove out the Hyksos to end the Second Intermediate Period. After that, Thebes became the capital of the New Kingdom, the apex of pharaonic Egypt’s glory. More than 100,000 people lived in “Hundred-Gated Thebes,” as the Greeks called it, and for hundreds of years it may have been the world’s largest city. Its local deity, Amun, became Amun-Ra, one of the chief gods of all Egypt.

It’s been more than 2,500 years since Thebes was an important city, but the remnants of its glory remain in its mighty temples and exquisite tombs, and that’s what you’re here to see.

Tourism in Thebes is dictated by the Nile. The city, its museums, and its two most impressive temples lie on the East Bank, while its necropolis and a ton of lesser temples are on the West Bank. Today, you’re prioritizing the West Bank. Your first order of business, then, is getting across the river. The bridge is several miles to the south, so the faster, cheaper, and cooler way to get across is by boat. You’re walking toward the regular ferry that goes every half hour when you run into this guy:

https://imgur.com/a/IgS5hcB

This is Haggag. As you walk toward the ferry, he approaches you and asks if you need a driver. You’re ready to ignore him, but then he offers to drive you around all day for 250 LE. That’s…actually a completely fair price, and he offered it without any haggling. What a guy!

To save a few minutes over the ferry (which it turns out just left), you and Haggag decide to cross in a private boat for 10 LE. For whatever reason, it’s named Alaska 2.

https://imgur.com/a/4pP6bGl

As you cross, you get a great view of the Nile, as well as the picturesque Luxor Temple, which you’ll be visiting later.

https://imgur.com/a/mv2yt6M

https://imgur.com/a/24a8ij6

As you dock at the West Bank, some kids swimming in the river wave at the camera.

https://imgur.com/a/uKOec2M

As soon as you arrive, you hop into Haggag’s car (it’s apparently rented, and he summoned it the moment you hired him) and head off to view the sites.

Your first stop is the Colossi of Memnon. They’re a quick stop, right off the side of the road, but no less interesting for that.

https://imgur.com/a/408acO0

https://imgur.com/a/zk2TgQp

Despite their name, these colossi don’t portray anybody named Memnon, nor were they built by him. The colossi are supposed to portray Amenhotep III, father of Amarna period founder Akhenaten and grandfather of Tutankhamun. The Greeks, though, connected the statues with Memnon, an Ethiopian hero who fought in the Trojan War, and the mythical name stuck. In Amenhotep’s day, the Colossi stood at the entrance to his vast mortuary temple, but that temple is almost totally lost, though excavation is ongoing.

Though an impressive site without any context, the Colossi stand out for how long they’ve been a historical curiosity. Around the time of the Roman conquest of Egypt, an earthquake hit the area and badly damaged the northern colossus (the right one in the pic). After that, the statue became famous for occasionally “singing” and producing sounds seemingly out of nowhere. This peculiarity made it famous across the Roman Empire, and the seemingly-miraculous “Vocal Memnon” was treated as an oracle, containing within it the voice of a god. Eventually though, the Vocal Memnon became so famous that the Romans tried to restore its appearance. This inadvertently caused the singing to cease, but to this day the once-identical colossi clearly look different, as the southern statue is still a single piece, while the northern one incorporates several Roman-era blocks.

https://imgur.com/a/lrEUJtN

The sides of the statues show reliefs of the pharaoh symbolically binding Upper and Lower Egypt, a symbolic expression of his authority.

https://imgur.com/a/UQtv4SM

The northern colossus has graffiti left by ancient Romans, who commented on whether they’d heard the singing or not:

https://allansartworlds.sites.ucsc.edu/files/2016/03/Colossi-of-Memnon-Luxor-Nov-1-2012-AL-39-720x380.jpg

Wow, it took a lot longer to type all that than it did to check out the statues. And that’s a good thing, because you have a *lot* to see today.

As you drive up into the Theban Hills, you pass an abandoned village. As more and more tomb excavations took place here, the government eventually built the locals a new village nearby and ordered them to vacate their old one.

https://imgur.com/a/6C2OSik

After a few minutes of driving, you arrive at the first of four major tomb complexes in Luxor: The Valley of the Queens.

https://imgur.com/a/62fhAYH

This valley isn’t actually restricted to queens, but there are some here, and the name contrasts it with the more famous Valley of the Kings. The name makes it sound “lesser,” but in fact the Valley of the Queens may contain the single most beautiful surviving relic of ancient Egypt: The Tomb of Nefertari.

Luxor contains literally hundreds of tombs scattered across its west bank, ranging from mighty pharaohs to petty nobles. But two of them stand out for how well-preserved they are: The Tomb of Pharaoh Seti I, and the Tomb of Nefertari, Ramses II’s favorite wife. Their pristine state, though, makes these tombs particularly vulnerable to the gradual decay caused by the breath and sweat of visitors, so both tombs are frequently closed. For the time being, they’re open, but getting into either requires a ticket that costs a staggering 1000 LE. Even with the current generous exchange rate, that’s more than $50 to see each tomb. At that price rate, you’ve decided to only see one of them. You asked Bossi two days ago which tomb she prefers, and she immediately answered with Nefertari’s. So, when you arrive at the Valley of Queens, you fork over your 1000 LE, and get a pass for 15 minutes in the Tomb of Nefertari.

Sadly, there is a *very* strict ban on photographs in the Tomb, so you aren’t able to take any while in there.

Psych! There is a total ban on photographs, but within a minute of getting in the guard starts haggling for a bribe. He initially wants another $30, with $15 for himself and another $15 for the doorman. You play hardball though, and aggressively scoff at his demand. After a few minutes of negotiation, you get your bribe down to a mere 100 LE, barely five dollars. It’s definitely worth it, because the 3300-year-old paintings in the tomb are mesmerizing. Many look like they were literally finished yesterday.

https://imgur.com/a/8Jnw0uf

https://imgur.com/a/Vps07rR

Right by the entrance to the tomb, Nefertari is shown playing the Egyptian board game of senet. She has no opponent; her solitary play represents the contest against Fate itself, which must be overcome to enter the afterlife.

https://imgur.com/a/qfD6oJc

Right by it, Nefertari is shown as a ba, a bird with a human head, representing the soul in the afterlife.

https://imgur.com/a/CW5o2Ll

Nefertari offeres some stick-like objects to Ptah, who possesses his three symbols of the was (power/dominion), the ankh (life), and the djed pillar (stability). The stick-like objects represent linens; by offering these to Ptah she hopes to in turn have an ample supply in the afterlife.

https://imgur.com/a/sROoEJx

The guardian over one doorway is a naked dood with a weirdly-shaped head:

https://imgur.com/a/V2BemxT

At the entrance to Nefertari’s sarcophagus chamber, one guardian has a stern look for intruders, while the other smiles for his mistress’ spirit, should she be returning from elsewhere.

https://imgur.com/a/ZeaxY3H

https://imgur.com/a/CBaED4C

The winged sky goddess Nut stands guard over a door. This is a…substantially more normal portrayal of her than we’ll see later:

https://imgur.com/a/lFayRbM

Nefertari offers a bunch of tasty food, perfumes, and the like to Hathor and another goddess.

https://imgur.com/a/oVXPxU8

In this image, she’s again offering to Hathor, but this time the other goddess is Serket, who can be identified because she has a scorpion on her head. If you look closely, Hathor and Serket have their nipples painted, indicating that their dresses are meant to expose their breasts:

https://imgur.com/a/LnRD6Rz

Holy shit! This god has a giant fucking scarab beetle for a head:

https://imgur.com/a/9NQwLLM

This scarab-headed god is Khepri, god of the dawn. The Egyptians saw scarab beetles pushing around their round dung balls, and made a connection to the round ball of the sun, so they envisioned a great scarab pushing the sun to rise each morning. Khepri was rarely worshiped on his own and instead was usually seen as an aspect of Ra.

Not all gods have weird animals for heads. Some of them don’t even have animals at all. This figure in the middle, for instance, is a god whose head is a djed pillar, the Egyptian symbol of stability and eternity.

https://imgur.com/a/iwmAocD

Nefertari is escorted by Horus before Ra. Both Ra and Horus have falcon heads, but you can distinguish the two because Horus wears the double crown of the two Egypts (Horus was considered one of the first pharaohs), while Ra’s head is topped by the red disk of the sun contained within a cobra.

https://imgur.com/a/WdMDjip

The queen appears before Thoth with what appears to be a badly-drawn frog and an Xbox 360.

https://imgur.com/a/U6k1oM7

Osiris, distinguished by his green skin (symbolizing his rebirth), is seated with Atum, god of the setting sun who, in one creation story, created other gods by jizzing them out, using his hand to embody the “female principle” within himself.

https://imgur.com/a/phXN20u

Holy crap, that was awesome. After snapping photos of almost every square inch, though, it’s time for you to head out. You’re not even done with the Valley of the Queens yet, and then after that you’ll be headed to the Valley of the Kings to see the tombs of Egypt’s mightiest pharaohs.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36911236)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 28th, 2018 8:30 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36912010)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 28th, 2018 11:41 AM
Author: sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap

Dr. Daniel Jackson just came.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36913508)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 28th, 2018 7:42 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36917972)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 28th, 2018 8:43 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36918351)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 28th, 2018 8:07 PM
Author: contagious ape heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36918116)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 9th, 2018 2:00 PM
Author: magenta flirting university pervert

incredible. i can't believe they let people in that tomb!

1800000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36991300)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 28th, 2018 9:09 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36912240)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 28th, 2018 11:03 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

those are some sick tomb paintings

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36913225)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 28th, 2018 11:05 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

They are. Sadly, I'm a bit worried they'll totally overshadow all the remaining ones. Maybe that will save some time though by letting me only hit highlights.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36913239)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 30th, 2018 2:22 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Well, Nefertari’s tomb is going to be impossible to top, but the many other tombs you’ll be seeing on this trip have plenty of their own merits, so let’s keep moving. Pictures are going to be spotty at times: Every guard wants his cut of bribes, and some are more reasonable than others. Also, sometimes you share a larger tomb with other tourists, which makes it a lot easier to sneak photos on the sly.

Besides Nefertari’s, there are a great many other tombs at the Valley of the Queens.

https://imgur.com/a/1Jd23mB

However, only a handful of relatively interesting ones are open to the general public. Your basic ticket allows you to enter three, and as it happens, only three besides Nefertari are actually open. Interestingly, despite this site’s name, two of the three tombs aren’t for women.

The first stop is the Tomb of Queen Titi. We actually aren’t sure just who this woman was, but the most popular guess is that she was a wife to Ramses III. Queen Titi is described as a royal daughter, wife, and mother, meaning she was the daughter of a pharaoh, married a pharaoh (possibly her own father!), and mother to a pharaoh. Fortunately, while “bull of his mother” is a popular epithet for certain Egyptian gods, it doesn’t seem that Egyptian pharaohs married their moms.

Titi’s tomb has a feature we’re going to see a lot in Luxor: Paintings where the faces are scratched off. This damage dates to ancient times, and has three likely causes: New regimes trying to blot out history, enemies attempting to hurt one’s chances of a peaceful afterlife, and Christians (or perhaps Muslims) destroying artwork seen as idolatrous.

In one such defaced image, the queen is portrayed with the side-braid of hair the Egyptians used to mark youth.

https://imgur.com/a/1i08TOY

Since Titi apparently grew up, married, and bore a son, and other parts of the tomb show her as an adult, it’s not clear why she has these youthful images as well. It could be a reflection of a wish that she be restored to the full bloom of youth in the afterlife. Alternately, we could be entirely wrong in our beliefs about Titi’s biography, and she may have died young, with the adulthood scenes being the aspirations ones.

Hathor, portrayed in full cow form rather than as a woman with horns, emerges from the mountains to receive tribute.

https://imgur.com/a/s6NULRp

This creepy imp thing is unusually looking directly out at you:

https://imgur.com/a/lUR5Fud

Mummies were found stashed down in this hole:

https://imgur.com/a/rHJxMzs

After Titi’s tomb is that of Amenherkhepshef, the eldest son of Ramses III who died as a teenager before he could inherit power. The guide wants too large a bribe for photos, so we have to illustrate this tomb with pics from online.

Since Amenherkhepshef never grew to adulthood, in most scenes he is accompanied by his father, who assists him in reaching the afterlife.

https://egyptsites.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/amenhhirkhopshef-1.jpg

https://egypte-eternelle.org/im/vre/qv55/qv5508.jpg

In fact, Ramses III seems to be real star, even getting a hug from Isis:

https://egypte-eternelle.org/im/vre/qv55/qv5514.jpg

It’s proven impossible to find a photo online, but one bizarre feature of this tomb is a case displaying a mummified fetus, which was found in the tomb. It’s possible the fetus was a stillborn sibling or child of the prince.

The last tomb here is that of another dead prince, Khaemweset. He was also a son of Ramses III, and so the tomb once again heavily features him (though in this case, the son did at least outlive the father).

https://imgur.com/a/HTLAhs9

This tomb’s paintings have a high concentration of green skin for whatever reason:

https://imgur.com/a/ew0uuyQ

The four sons of Horus, portrayed as canopic jars, are perched on a flower in front of Osiris:

https://imgur.com/a/agkI1s7

Besides being dead, poor Khaemweset also has a particularly extreme case of the Egyptians drawing young people with weird elongated alien heads:

https://imgur.com/a/chDKbQL

With that, you’ve completed your first tomb complex in Luxor. To avoid getting too burned out on one type of structure, our next stop is one of the most impressive sites on the west bank, the Deir el-Bahri, or Mortuary Temple of Hatshepsut.

https://imgur.com/a/Z5138dM

As we saw in Giza and Saqqara, it was customary for each pharaoh to build a special mortuary temple dedicated to himself near his tomb. Hatshepsut, Egypt’s most successful female pharaoh, continued that trend. Hatshepsut was the wife of Thutmose II, but bore him only a single daughter before becoming barren. As a result, Thutmose favored a second wife, who bore him a son, Thutmose III.

Thutmose II died when the boy was young, though, and Hatshepsut soon established herself as regent, and then as a full pharaoh in her own right, who reigned well into Thutmose’s adulthood. She had this grand temple built to herself out in the desert, rather than on the floodplain where most such temples were built (and eventually destroyed by flooding or covered over with silt).

In more modern history, the temple is famous as the site of one of Egypt’s deadliest tourist massacres. Islamic extremists seized the temple and massacred 62 tourists, including 36 Swiss and several Japanese newlywed couples on honeymoon. Fortunately, on this day tourists only have to worry about Egyptians scamming them, rather than murdering them.

As you approach the temple, you can see how despite its large size it is in turn utterly dwarfed by the cliffs around it. The location feels truly cinematic.

https://imgur.com/a/a1Mlkv2

One of Hatshepsut’s famous achievements was sending an expedition to the land of Punt (somewhere in the Horn of Africa). Trees they brought back were planted outside the temple, but all that remains today is this stump:

https://imgur.com/a/d7Jk2NV

This temple once would have featured dozens of statues like this one, mostly lining the causeway up to it, but now only a handful remain:

https://imgur.com/a/yIjCh9M

The impressive temple you see now is the product of large-scale reconstruction carried out by the Polish-Egyptian Mission. To give you an idea, here’s what it looked like a century ago:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0c/S10.08_Deir-El-Bahari%2C_image_9935.jpg

Near the reconstructed temple is a vast field of stones whose precise place in the original edifice remains uncertain:

https://imgur.com/a/6rpHK27

Most of the reliefs are hopelessly faded, though a few have an astonishing amount of paint still on them given the 3500 years that have passed.

https://imgur.com/a/IgDEUyQ

Sadly, one of the more faded and damaged parts is the birth colonnade, which tells the (alleged) miraculous story of Hatshepsut’s birth. Amun-Ra comes to her mother, in the guise of Thutmose I, and impregnates her by sticking an ankh up her nose (heh). Then, the god Khnum fashions Hatshepsut and her ka (both portrayed as boys), and she is then born to the queen. This is all really hard to see, and even harder to capture in photography, but thankfully some people on the Internet of produced easier-to-see black and white images:

https://the-ancient-pharaohs.blogspot.com/2016/09/hatshepsuts-divine-birth-in-mortuary.html

The heavy damage to this colonnade isn’t just due to the passage of time. After taking power, Thutmose III defaced Hatshepsut’s image and cartouche on many of her temples and monuments. Then, a few decades later, Akhenaten defaced the images of many Egyptian gods as part of his campaign to promote the monotheistic cult of Aten. The damage could be particularly extreme, with some images having every single detail totally erased from head to toe:

https://imgur.com/a/iGpkte6

It’s unclear if Thutmose III’s defacement of Hatshepsut’s monuments was based on true animosity, as she died a natural death and he made no effort to overthrow her (even leading armies in her name). It’s possible his opinion changed, or he may simply have wanted to avoid setting a precedent of allowing wives and daughters to become full pharaohs.

On the other side of the temple’s second floor is the Punt colonnade, which shows images of the great voyage to Punt. Famously, the King of Punt’s wife is portrayed as grossly deformed, perhaps due to obesity, dwarfism, or some other disease. Other details include showing the people of Punt living in houses built on stilts, and images of plants and animals found only in Sub-Saharan Africa. Sadly, it’s once again a tad hard to make out the details by photo:

https://imgur.com/a/WU0eWI5

https://imgur.com/a/iWp9ae9

Elsewhere on the second level is a small shrine to the goddess Hathor. Columns are topped with Hathor-heads:

https://imgur.com/a/mhse3Z0

Another relief shows a young Hatshepsut being suckled by Hathor in the form of a cow:

https://imgur.com/a/xAD2KuM

On the top level of the Temple, there are eight giant statues of Osiris bearing the features of Hatshepsut. Based on the way they’re distributed along the top level, there may once have been many more.

https://imgur.com/a/OlHx6rj

https://imgur.com/a/r2ZbtOR

https://imgur.com/a/PEwgz3i

These Osiris statues, and everything else about the top level, are the product of absolutely heroic restoration work, as this entire floor collapsed over time. After decades of work, researchers have pieced together a shrine to Amun, prayer niches that would have held votive statues for, and more:

https://imgur.com/a/iHcPFlz

https://imgur.com/a/qJSephu

https://imgur.com/a/PhSK0Tk

The predictability of Egyptian art helps, of course. For example, from just a few fragments, researchers can reliably reconstruct the common image of Hapi (the androgynous god of the Nile) binding the two symbols of Upper and Lower Egypt together:

https://imgur.com/a/gM4wng8

Along a non-descript wall of no clear importance, tour guides are asked not to explain…something:

https://imgur.com/a/QuwxVH7

The top of the temple supplies a spectacular view of the fertile Nile valley:

https://imgur.com/a/Rv6Prsf

After tramping around the temple for about an hour, it’s time to move on. Believe it or now, your first day in Luxor isn’t even half over! You still have two mighty temples to visit, as well as the premier tomb complex of all Egypt, the Valley of the Kings.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36925419)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 30th, 2018 2:30 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

OK I’m inspired to go back to Egypt and check out Luxor (only been to Cairo)

The “kindly do not explain this section” bit is weird, any idea what that was?

Slightly made me think of Palmyra, which I was lucky enough to look around before ISIS mostly blew it up

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36925430)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 30th, 2018 2:41 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

I honestly have no idea; nothing particularly interesting was there and I never saw a similar sign anywhere else (though notably tour guides are banned from entering tombs). It could be a slightly flawed translation just asking tour guides not to lecture large groups in that location.

180 about going back to Egypt, I definitely recommend it. We won't hit it on this tour, but consider going to Aswan as well, plus Edfu and Kom Ombo while traveling from one city to the other.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36925443)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 30th, 2018 2:43 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

Why are tour guides banned from the tombs? So they don’t annoy everybody else?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36925445)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 30th, 2018 3:04 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

I never asked, but a few guesses:

-As you say, a loud tour guide could annoy people in the cramped quarters of the tombs.

-Tour guides could extend how long large groups spend inside tombs, and could lead to greater congestion.

-Tour guides might hinder the ability of site guardians to negotiate for bribes.

-They may not literally be "banned," they just would have to pay admission like everybody else and in most cases that is not worthwhile for them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36925483)



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Date: September 30th, 2018 3:09 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

when you lay it out like that, I bet it’s the bribes

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36925494)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 30th, 2018 4:30 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36927966)



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Date: October 2nd, 2018 11:54 PM
Author: swashbuckling tanning salon

While we wait for Charles to find this thread again, your boy BOBBY DIGITAL will take you on a deluxe tour of places in the United States that are named for places in Egypt.

Today's destination is Cairo. Cairo, Illinois that is.

https://www.google.com/maps/@36.993254,-89.210086,12z

The Ohio River and the Mississippi River are two of the largest and most prestigious rivers in America. You would think that at the point where the Ohio and the Mississippi meet, there would be an important town. And there used to be. Cairo, IL.

During the 19th century, Cairo was hot shit, an important river port. During the Civil War, Ulysses S. Grant made it his headquarters while he was invading south along the Mississippi River. As a bustling port town, Cairo attracted all sorts of people. White people and black people flocked there to find good jobs in reloading steamboats with coal or operating warehouses.

But then the railroad was invented and people stopped shipping things down the rivers. Newly unemployed, Cairo's diverse population decided to start fighting each other. After a high profile lynching in 1909, race relations in Cairo deteriorated and the city became notorious as a place where race riots frequently occurred. The city lost its economic importance, and today it is a mostly abandoned town of 2,000 people, where a few insane holdouts live among ruins.

This is the sad overpass that announces your entry into Cairo

https://mir-s3-cdn-cf.behance.net/project_modules/max_1200/43eb4755115077.5977520523a96.jpg

This sign announces that you have entered the historic center

https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4102/4802907629_e82373493e_b.jpg

Here's main street Cairo

https://i.imgur.com/4JDNCKM.jpg

The beating heart of main street was once the Gem Theater, which now sits abandoned

https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2239/2112972162_a5887e93e3_b.jpg

Once a place of culture, it is now a place of decay

https://afterthefinalcurtain.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/gem_theatre_04.jpg

https://afterthefinalcurtain.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/paramount_texas_006.jpg

https://afterthefinalcurtain.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/gem_theatre_07.jpg

Here's an abandoned hospital

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/UtKgpQu7zY8/maxresdefault.jpg

abandoned motel

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/hGU3CCh9ODE/hqdefault.jpg

There are just a few operational businesses left in Cairo. One of them is Shemwell's BBQ

https://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/07/5f/73/3c/shemwell-s-barbecue-downtown.jpg

The menu seems to be mostly fried food, rather than BBQ

https://adrumber.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/img_3413.jpg

https://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/0d/4b/a5/c7/pork-sandwich-wth-vinegar.jpg

They claim to sell Cairo's best BBQ sauce, which seems plausible

https://mississippiriver.natgeotourism.com/files/portal/mspWTYMS37KAGL1SJGBD/images/content/large/mspD7E6D38EDFFBA3572.jpg

Until surprisingly recently, Cairo was home to the Federal District Court for the Southern District of Illinois. They still have an old federal courthouse, though important admirality law cases involving barges on the Mississippi River are no longer heard there

https://s3.amazonaws.com/gs-waymarking-images/1ad220c3-0295-4dbc-a044-98a4abaa35ed_l.JPG

Wow, OK, that was depressing. But cheer up. We're headed to Memphis - Tennessee.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36944540)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 3rd, 2018 12:27 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36944797)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 3rd, 2018 7:17 AM
Author: yapping temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36945725)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 3rd, 2018 9:19 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36946223)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 3rd, 2018 7:59 PM
Author: contagious ape heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36950475)



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Date: October 7th, 2018 11:47 PM
Author: razzle tripping mental disorder

99% chance they pronounce it Care-Oh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36982455)



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Date: October 8th, 2018 9:17 AM
Author: swashbuckling tanning salon

they pronounce it KAY-RO in Illinois

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36983553)



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Date: October 8th, 2018 9:19 AM
Author: coiffed goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36983562)



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Date: October 25th, 2018 7:21 AM
Author: Gay erotic indirect expression native

deserves its own thread, i totally missed this, 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37090874)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 3rd, 2018 1:35 PM
Author: pale forum deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36947807)



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Date: October 6th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: contagious ape heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36975912)



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Date: October 7th, 2018 11:45 PM
Author: contagious ape heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36982443)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2018 9:20 AM
Author: coiffed goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36983563)



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Date: October 8th, 2018 9:32 AM
Author: swashbuckling tanning salon

Today we're going to a city on a major river, with a huge pyramid. That's right, we're going to Memphis. Memphis...TENNESSEE

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2014/12/03/us/MEMPHIS-SS-slide-OLCK/MEMPHIS-SS-slide-OLCK-master1050.jpg

Memphis, TN is in the "Nile of North America", the Mississippi River, and its founders named it after the former capital of Ancient Egypt. In the 1990's, the people of Memphis decided to double down on these ties to Egypt and build a gigantic pyramid, which they intended to use as an NBA arena for the Memphis Grizzlies.

Problem is, the pyramid didn't measure up to NBA standards, and after a few years it was abandoned and Memphis had to build ANOTHER, more standard NBA arena, the oddly Roman-named FedEx Forum

https://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/01/60/74/97/this-place-is-huge.jpg

So now Memphis had an abandoned, glass pyramid on its riverfront. What did they do with it? Why, sell it to Bass Pro Shops, of course!

https://img.christiandaily.com/full/7473/memphis.jpg

This pyramid is now the largest Bass Pro Shops store in the world!

http://www.latimes.com/travel/la-tr-d-memphis-bass-20160207-story.html

The enormous interior is not just a place where you can buy fishing poles and lures, but has giant aquariums and pools full of fish. And lots of fun and games for the kids as well.

https://www.costofwisconsin.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/bass-pro-shops-memphis-pyramid-4-low-res-1024x652.jpg

There are restaurants, and even a hotel. You can stay in the Pyramid in one of these lodge rooms

https://www.big-cypress.com/d/big-cypress/media/Rooms/Big_Cypress_-_Gov_Suite_King_-_Interior_King_Vaulted_Ceiling_WEB.jpg

You can also ride an elevator to the top and go outdoor on the observation deck. You get a great view of the De Soto Bridge that connects Memphis to Arkansas

https://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/11/24/2d/24/observation-deck-memphis.jpg

http://media6.trover.com/T/55a6acd4198e446dd000002f/fixedw_large_4x.jpg

Tomorrow, we will visit the most famous tomb in Memphis, that of the great Pharaoh Elvis.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36983610)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2018 11:34 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36984223)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 9th, 2018 7:35 AM
Author: clear comical stage

coil of rope + eight cattle hobbles

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36989431)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 25th, 2018 7:24 AM
Author: Gay erotic indirect expression native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37090879)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2018 11:34 AM
Author: Cruel-hearted cream reading party crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36984227)



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Date: October 8th, 2018 2:57 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Sorry I'll try to get back at this this week. I haven't even been particularly busy, just been doing other shit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36985446)



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Date: October 9th, 2018 1:44 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

With Hatshepsut's Temple completed, it's time to head for Luxor's most famous site, the Valley of the Kings.

The mighty pyramids of the Old Kingdom had a major flaw: They were massive invitations for grave robbers, and as soon as the stability of Egypt flagged and they couldn't be protected by trustworthy guards, they were quickly looted. That was bad news, given the preservation of one's body and tomb goods were important for enjoying a successful afterlife.

As a result, the New Kingdom pharaohs of Thebes had a different approach. While their tombs were still elaborate, they built them close together while also keeping the entrances hidden, making them harder to loot. Most of them were unsuccessful in this, and almost every major royal tomb was looted completely by modern times. But not all: Tutankhamun's tomb was famously discovered completely intact here in the 1920s.

Today, the Valley of the Kings is still an active archeological dig, with more than 60 tombs found here. Several of the most famous ones are open to the public, though perhaps not for long: Human visitors and the moisture they bring are gradually destroying the tombs, so many historic preservationists want them closed down. One plan is to build an exact replica of the Valley of Kings a short distance away, so that people can experience them without degrading the real thing. A replica of King Tut's tomb has already been opened, though further copies may be waiting a while given Egypt's current instability and economic problems.

As you approach the Valley of the Kings, you pass by the Carter House, where Howard Carter lived while he was excavating King Tutankhamun's tomb. It's a museum in its own right now, but not one you have time to visit:

https://imgur.com/a/zTy0Ku7

When you finally make it to the Valley, it's time to descend into some to-oh, SHIT! Before you can get in, you have to run a GAUNTLET of people hawking all manner of shit.

https://imgur.com/a/TcKxVgA

Egypt trinkets, books, water and sodas with a 5x price markup, postcards, if you can name it, some Egypt is aggressively trying to sell it to you. Remain firm, though, and refuse to even acknowledge their presence and eventually they give up.

After you get through, there's a small entry area, with a model of the valley and some basic explanatory info on hieroglyphs and mortuary art.

https://imgur.com/a/xYXMJ4Y

https://imgur.com/a/wl9pX6J

https://imgur.com/a/K7GT9sq

After exiting, you can walk to the tombs, or for one LE, you can ride on a little cart for about a third of a mile. The driver tries to sell you a map of the valley during the ride, which is quite the hustle since 1. The valley isn't THAT big, and 2. There's literally a sign with a map when you arrive:

https://imgur.com/a/OzVspCJ

https://imgur.com/a/EQHAOZN

The Valley of the Kings has dozens of tombs (not all of them kings), but most of them are not open. Instead, only the high-profile ones are open to the public, and even then they are on a rotation (Thutmoses III, for instance, is a well-regarded tomb, but is closed).

https://imgur.com/a/E19RH3d

Sadly, you do not have the time to see every single tomb, so we'll have to prioritize. A basic ticket lets you see any three of the normal tombs. Seti I, Tutankhamun, and Ramses V+VI cost extra. Seti I is the best tomb, but like Nefertari he costs a staggering 1000 LE, so we'll sadly pass on that. King Tut's tomb is of course famous but otherwise not that impressive. So, we'll get a basic ticket and then splurge on the extra ticket for Ramses V/VI.

As you start wandering the valley, guards for various tombs will make pitches for them, knowing that if they lure you in they could potentially solicit bribes for photos (once again, all photography is banned, but this merely serves to facilitate bribery).

That said, the bribes the guards want are significant, so your photography in each tomb is more limited, and mostly limited to what you can sneak while a guard is looking after other visitors. To get by, we've supplemented these tombs with photos from online.

Anyway, we're 700 words into this post and it's FINALLY time to enter our first tomb, that of Ramses IV. This tomb has been a tourist attraction since antiquity, a fact demonstrated by Coptic Christian graffiti that decorates the entryway:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/manna4u/38439097240/in/photostream/lightbox/

Another sign the tomb was open in ancient times is that a great many of the images in the tomb were defaced by icon-breakers of one faith or another.

https://imgur.com/a/FvrFK8l

The ceiling of the tomb has a cartoonishly elongated image of Nut, the sky goddess.

https://imgur.com/a/lha7xAV

Up next is the Tomb of Ramses V/VI. It's a double tomb because Ramses V dug it and was buried in it, but then his uncle Ramses VI came in, usurped a lot of the art and symbols, expanded it, and had himself buried inside as well. Like Ramses IV, this tomb has been open since antiquity, and the Greeks even dubbed it the "Tomb of Memnon." The large pile of rubble from the digging of this tomb is one reason it took so long to find the nearby tomb of Tutankhamun.

We've seen plenty of falcon- and jackal-headed gods in Egypt, but the entryway of Ramses VI's tomb has a very odd one: Catfish-headed gods. Sadly, it's a bit hard to observe from this angle, and other photos online are nearly nonexistent:

https://describingegypt.com/tours/ramessesvi/kv9_corridor_c_end/31/-18/33

We've seen a lot of sphinxes around Egypt, but notably this tomb has a double sphinx, like some kind of ancient Egyptian CatDog (does anyone remember that show?):

https://imgur.com/a/sCNS1F9

This tomb also has a guy rocking a boner. This art is pretty common in Egypt (you're gonna see a LOT of it in the next couple days), but this one stands out for looking a little more, ahem, natural compared to the other iterations.

https://describingegypt.com/tours/ramessesvi/kv9_chamber_e_hall_of_hindering/45/-20/33

Lots to unpack here. Birds with arms? Are the guys in blue supposed to be swimming? Drowning? Dead? Very mysterious stuff.

https://describingegypt.com/tours/ramessesvi/kv9_chamber_e_hall_of_hindering/292/-35/33

Plenty of strange snake imagery too:

https://describingegypt.com/tours/ramessesvi/kv9_chamber_e_hall_of_hindering/277/-6/33

Upside-down, headless black bodies in the entrance represent vanquished Nubians:

https://imgur.com/a/cBYbd64

Actually, black dudes getting decapitated seems to be a theme in this tomb. One or both of these Ramses really had it in for those Nubians:

https://describingegypt.com/tours/ramessesvi/kv9_pillared_chamber_f_chariot_hall/71/-13/33

Here's a panorama of the burial chamber (be sure to check the ceiling, with Nut stretched to even more cartoony lengths than in Ramses IV's tomb). The giant stone sarcophagus is smashed in two, the apparent work of grave robbers thousands of years ago:

https://www.360cities.net/image/ramessesvi-burial-ch-01#-301.87,-10.82,70.0

Outside the tomb of Merneptah, an Egyptian tour guide is lecturing in Japanese; Egyptian natives learn a staggering array of languages to accommodate tourists.

https://imgur.com/a/WiBQWkn

Sadly, the guardian of Merneptah's tomb wants a fat bribe AND he watches for photos like a hawk, so you don't manage any photos there. A shame!

The grandest tomb you'll see today is that of Ramses III. The entrance has graffiti from millennia of visitors, plus images of scarabs and offerings to Ra:

https://imgur.com/a/At4k3o0

https://imgur.com/a/8T1sSbv

https://imgur.com/a/ovWXvLW

In one famous though badly-decayed image in a side room, a pair of harpists perform for the god Atum:

https://imgur.com/a/ZzkRAQs

Some captives seem to be having a bad time, though they do at least still have their heads:

https://imgur.com/a/Qt8FM5B

Speaking of heads, this tomb has more funky multi-headed serpents, and in more detail than Ramses VI had:

https://imgur.com/a/YCap7Uk

A section of the tomb showing excerpts from the Book of Gates portrays the four races of the world: Libyans, Nubians, Asians, and Egyptians.

https://imgur.com/a/qSrnaOP

https://imgur.com/a/5ypeIOJ

https://imgur.com/a/Knj17YR

This undecorated niche marks where the ancient diggers oops-penetrated a neighboring tomb. This caused the original builder, Sethnakht, to abandon the tomb, but Ramses later restarted and simply had the builders tunnel in a different direction.

https://imgur.com/a/ZqyjfSy

After a good 90 minutes or so exploring the four tombs, you need to head out. The sun is setting quickly and you have one last site to visit today on the west bank: The picturesque ruins of the Ramesseum.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36989065)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 9th, 2018 7:25 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36989415)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 9th, 2018 7:29 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36989422)



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Date: October 9th, 2018 7:34 AM
Author: clear comical stage

sorry this is a BOBBY DIGITAL thread now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36989426)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 9th, 2018 11:57 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Fair enough, I don't have to finish.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36990517)



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Date: October 9th, 2018 3:57 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

I'm sure if BOBBY DIGITAL were here right now he'd encourage Charles to please proceed

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36992227)



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Date: October 9th, 2018 6:48 PM
Author: magenta flirting university pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#36993305)



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Date: October 13th, 2018 3:19 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Our last stop on the west bank today is the Ramesseum. Despite the somewhat different name, it’s just the mortuary temple of Ramses II. It’s not even close to being Luxor’s biggest temple, but it’s one of the most interesting and its ruins make for one of the most picturesque sites in all Egypt.

As you approach the temple, you get your first really good look at Egyptian agriculture. Almost everywhere along the river that isn’t built up is instead devoted to agriculture. While 96 percent of Egypt is desert, the floodplain has some of the most fertile soil in the world, and much of it supports multiple crops a year.

https://imgur.com/a/4XD7MIr

The ancient Egyptian name for their country was Kemet, meaning “black land.” While some have argued this proves the ancient Egyptians were black Africans, the name almost certainly refers to the rich black soil of the floodplain, in contrast to Deshret, the Egyptian name for the desert (and the origin of that word). In Egypt, the contrast between desert and floodplain is stark and absolute; one can literally stand with one foot in the desert and one in the soil. Where the water of the Nile reaches is life. Where it does not, death.

https://imgur.com/a/pEtbwaa

The Ramesseum would be more intact, but in his hubris and desire to overawe the population Ramses built his temple in the floodplain, making it inevitable that the annual inundation of the Nile would gradually ruin his temple. It’s much less intact than the Medinet Habu out in the desert, which we’ll see two days from now. Nevertheless, what remains is impressive to look upon after 3200 years.

https://imgur.com/a/slbdANp

https://imgur.com/a/ngETC9g

For comparison, here’s what it looked like 170 years ago.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1a/John_Beasly_Greene_%28American%2C_born_France_-_%28Ramesseum%2C_Thebes%29_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg

It’s surprisingly similar, compared to the massive reconstruction at sites like Hatshepsut’s Temple.

Wait, what’s this?

https://imgur.com/a/jnNBXwq

Oh shit, it’s the toppled colossal statue of Ramses II:

https://imgur.com/a/UEm5rHO

https://imgur.com/a/KjuNJoZ

The cartouche of Ramses II is inscribed deeply within the stone, to make it harder for some hackjob successor to come along and hijack it.

https://imgur.com/a/XZ1iHGv

This colossal statue, so artfully collapsed along the edge of the temple, inspired Percy Shelley to write his famous poem “Ozymandias.” Ozymandias was the ancient Greek name for Ramses II; it derives from his regnal name Usermattre Setepenre.

You’ve almost certainly heard of the poem, but fuck it, let’s post it here:

I met a traveller from an antique land

Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert... near them, on the sand,

Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,

And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed;

And on the pedestal these words appear:

'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings;

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Fortunately, a little more than “nothing” remains of the temple surrounding Ramses’ shattered colossus. For example, reliefs in the temple show scenes from the Battle of Kadesh, by far the most famous battle from the era before 1000 BC.

https://imgur.com/a/3ZuPRmY

The pharaoh’s artists wanted it to look like Ramses fucking WRECKED the Hittites, but in fact the battle was probably something of a draw:

https://imgur.com/a/zb0pjgG

There’s also the immense Osiris-style statues at each column:

https://imgur.com/a/nfGrFTL

Near the center of the temple is the head of another fallen statue. There was a second statue here, more intact, but it was seized by an Italian treasure-hunter in the 1800s and taken to the British Museum.

https://imgur.com/a/27LYbxN

On the wall of the portico, Ramses II kneels before the Theban triad of gods (Amun, Mut, and Khonsu) while Thoth records the whole thing on a palm frond. In the register above, you can see the priapic god Min receiving an offering as well.

https://imgur.com/a/UCkAzki

The temple’s central hypostyle hall (hall of columns) is still large intact. It’s probably the most impressive one you’ve seen so far, but oh boy, it will not remain that way.

https://imgur.com/a/UCkAzki

Another bit of priapic art is REALLY etched into the stone, almost like an incompetent person tried to deface it but instead made it indelible.

https://imgur.com/a/XoSAxtz

Another relief shows the assault of Egyptian troops on the Hittite city of Dapur. The details are hard to make out, but Wikipedia helpfully has a clearer recreation:

https://imgur.com/a/0emvYWX

https://imgur.com/a/jvlPmd1

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Dapur#/media/File:Ramses_IIs_seger_%C3%B6ver_Chetafolket_och_stormningen_av_Dapur,_Nordisk_familjebok.png

The treasure hunter Belzoni and his British patron, Henry Salt, have their names inscribed in a doorway of the temple. Archaeologists and Egypt enthusiasts used to be rather more cavalier about preserving the sites they visited:

https://archaeologyandscience.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/20130103_121923.jpg

Near the temple are the remains of many mud-brick magazines which held the workshops and servants’ quarters of the temple and its builders.

https://imgur.com/a/phA3DUu

As you depart, you get a few last photos of the temple at a distance:

https://imgur.com/a/D074tNN

https://imgur.com/a/MQblqQx

As you depart, you and Hagag stop by a small café nearby and get coffee. The owner’s grandfather helped with Carter’s excavation of Tutankhamun’s tomb, and occasionally posed with goods taken from the tomb. Hagag points to a photo of the man holding a photo of his younger self.

https://imgur.com/a/FCG7pcf

The sun is starting to set, and we’re finally done with our first day on west bank. But the day is NOT over. When you return to the east bank, you’ll be visiting one of the few major Egyptian sites that stays open after dark: Luxor Temple.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37012947)



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Date: October 13th, 2018 8:51 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37013270)



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Date: October 25th, 2018 7:53 AM
Author: soul-stirring olive point

maybe the best set of pics

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37090964)



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Date: October 13th, 2018 3:39 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Bonus post: For a very large portion of your time tramping around Luxor, the music running through your head is from the desert stages of Rare's N64 games.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o09uxkZwKo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Smx_2U6I5_A

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37012991)



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Date: October 13th, 2018 8:29 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37013230)



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Date: October 14th, 2018 1:25 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

The sun is setting, and it’s time to head back across the Nile. Rather ominously, the boat you travel in is the “ISIS 2.”

https://imgur.com/a/n3LCBsa

As you land back on the east bank, you get a sunset look at our final stop of the day: Luxor Temple.

https://imgur.com/a/OtaSfCi

https://imgur.com/a/y70P5Mb

In contrast to all the other temples we’ve been to so far, Luxor Temple isn’t a mortuary temple (built to receive offerings for a dead pharaoh), and it isn’t the cult temple of a particular god either. Instead, Luxor Temple is dedicated to the Ka of the Egyptian pharaoh, and his strength as a ruler. It’s believed that Egyptian pharaohs of the New Kingdom were crowned here, either literally or ceremonially.

Luxor Temple notably lies very close to the Nile, smack dab in the middle of modern Luxor. In fact, in medieval times, locals built right over the temple, and it lay beneath a mound of dirt and rubble for centuries until it was finally excavated in the last 150 years. Today, it’s the iconic feature of the city center, and thanks to a bunch of floodlights, it’s open during the evening unlike anywhere else.

After a brief rest, you make the short stroll from the Winter Palace to the temple (it’s literally right next door). While your hotel is located at the south end, you have to walk all the way around to the north to get in. As you approach, the front pylon is lit up by the floodlights.

https://imgur.com/a/zTLELWC

The standout feature of the front entrance is the temple’s massive obelisk, a monolith standing about 80 feet tall.

https://imgur.com/a/39S6P7Q

Obelisks may be the most famous element of Egyptian architecture after the pyramids, but astonishingly this is one of only 8 ancient obelisks present in the whole country. This isn’t because that many were built, but instead because the vast majority have been looted from the country, many of them centuries ago. Bossi pointed out two days ago that obelisks are by far the most-seen aspects of Egyptian culture, because of the many important cities they’ve ended up in. The Obelisk of Theodosius still stands in Istanbul 1600 years after Theodosius brought it there. Two more obelisks, dubbed “Cleopatra’s Needles” (but in fact 1400 years older than that), stand in London and in New York’s Central Park. Rome alone has more obelisks than Egypt, including the famous Lateran Obelisk of Vatican City. And then there’s the Luxor Obelisk in Paris, so named because it was once a twin to the one still standing right here in Luxor.

These baboons at the base of the obelisk once sported erect penises, but prudes (possibly the French) hacked them off long ago.

https://imgur.com/a/9kNuHzZ

Running north from a temple is the lengthy avenue of sphinxes, a series of hundreds of sphinx statues that once ran all the way out to Karnak Temple, about two miles north. It’s way too dark to get a good shot of them, so here’s a daytime pic from somebody else:

https://egypttoursplus-cify0074508w.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/The-Dromos-or-Sphinxes-Avenue-near-the-temple-of-Luxor-Photo-by-Marc-Ryckaert.jpg.jpg

The colossal statues fronting the pylon are, no surprise, of our Egyptian super-builder Ramses II. The base of the statues show the symbolic binding of Upper and Lower Egypt.

https://imgur.com/a/YKahFou

https://imgur.com/a/islBmLc

As you walk in, to your left you can see the elevated walls of the Abu Haggag Mosque. This mosque was built right on top of the walls of Luxor, and it showcases what this area was like prior to excavation. While the regular houses and shops were destroyed to allow for the temple’s reconstruction, demolishing a mosque is a very different matter, so it remains in place, built right into the temple.

https://imgur.com/a/mBE7Frr

The finely-carved columns of the inner hypostyle hall are designed to resemble papyrus buds. An Azn girl is posing for photos at the foot of one.

https://imgur.com/a/Af3nwsW

https://imgur.com/a/Hsb6zGZ

https://imgur.com/a/9IrE89k

In the center of the temple are even larger columns with expanding lotus-flower capitals.

https://imgur.com/a/C6kb7s1

This small, hard-to-read altar was dedicated to the Emperor Constantine, who despite his promotion of Christianity hadn’t cracked down on the original paganism either.

https://imgur.com/a/lHRXmfh

https://imgur.com/a/QoqeerP

This is yet another cartouche, used for writing out the name of a pharaoh. What’s notable about this one? The name is spells out is Alexander, who conquered Egypt in 332 BC and was proclaimed a son of Amun after visiting the Siwa Oasis.

https://imgur.com/a/Dl9EMRD

Even after its conquest by the Greeks and later the Romans, the Egyptians continued to use traditional art forms to honor its rulers. We’ll see a lot more of that tomorrow.

Another interesting room in the temple is the Birth Room of Amenhotep III. Like the similar sequence of images at Hatshepsut’s Temple, this room tells the story of Amenhotep being born after a miraculous visitation from the god Amun. Amenhotep’s mother was of non-royal blood, which necessitated a story that was recycled for numerous other rulers (the Romans would use it too).

Amun, disguised as the pharaoh Thutmoses IV, is escorted to the queen’s chamber by Thoth, who generally tags along for these ventures but never gets to, uh, take part.

https://imgur.com/a/6m1xMhW

Amun impregnates Amenhotep’s mother by holding an ankh to her lips and touching her hand; in the words of the wall inscription, “his dew filled her body.”

https://imgur.com/a/Xq0vsRw

The potter god Khnum shapes the image of two children. One is Amenhotep, and the other is his spiritual ka.

https://imgur.com/a/NsMXzii

The visibly pregnant queen is cared for by the gods before giving birth to the future pharaoh.

https://imgur.com/a/jyhpIGY

In a courtyard of the temple, a statue shows Amenhotep and his wife, whom he probably hoped wasn’t having similar adventures with divine visitors.

https://imgur.com/a/o2hks4l

And with that, you’re finally done with by-far the busiest day of sightseeing you’ve had so far. But the day still isn’t over. You haven’t eaten at all today, so it’s time for some dinner. First, you stop at a random shop and for about 60 cents get a big plate of balah el-sham, Egypt’s ubiquitous pastries soaked in a syrup to make them almost excessively sweet.

https://imgur.com/a/BGJEuvu

Your dinner destination, though, is Sofra, one of Luxor’s best restaurants. It’s the peak of August and Egyptian tourism hasn’t been doing so great, so this excellent restaurant is sadly nearly deserted.

https://imgur.com/a/yfXxsGt

For dinner you get a veal stew along with a variety of small plates, but since this is Egypt instead of the DC brunch scene, they’re called “mezzes” instead of tapas and they’re actually priced so you can get enough to be satisfied. To drink, you get Sofra’s signature fresh fruit juice.

https://imgur.com/a/sLXHJEs

https://imgur.com/a/T19i51H

As you walk out from dinner, one of Luxor’s super-irritating locals approaches and tries to get you to ride in his horse-drawn carriage back to your hotel. It’s not even a half-mile walk, but he offers to do it for only 15 LE, so hey, why not?

BIG MISTAKE. This guy immediately “volunteers” to take you on a mini-tour of the downtown which you didn’t ask for, which of course includes a stop by the bazaar. This guy totally knows a great shop where you can get a really good deal.

https://imgur.com/a/2eFXS3A

You manage to resist his ability to weaponize awkwardness, though, and demand that he take you to your hotel. When you arrive, you pay him the original 15-LE fee with no bonus. He starts to seethe, but hey, he was the one who made your trip take 20 minutes instead of 5. You scamper into your hotel before he can make a scene.

With that, you’re now 2/3 through your trip. Tomorrow, you’ll be going on your only extended day-trip, a journey by car down the Nile Valley to visit the shrines of Abydos and Dendera.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37019829)



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Date: October 14th, 2018 2:02 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

JUICE JUICE JUICE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37019987)



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Date: October 14th, 2018 2:09 PM
Author: sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap

I will be finished with my Eastern European capitals trip, and finish poasting my BOBBY DIGITAL version of it, before you wrap up yours.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37020018)



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Date: October 14th, 2018 2:57 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Likely true! But will you be creating as much CONTENT?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37020317)



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Date: October 14th, 2018 4:22 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37021193)



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Date: October 15th, 2018 9:45 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

also, lol @ Cuckmosis IV

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37031240)



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Date: October 15th, 2018 9:58 PM
Author: Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth

Nice post.

I too was taken hostage and made to go to a shop that I did not want to go to. I think I bought a plastic sphinx figurine to get out of there

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37031367)



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Date: October 16th, 2018 12:03 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

180

You can actually see the sugar syrup dripping off those little diabetes bombs

The “let’s just drop in on this shop” routine is universal, I’ve had it pulled on me in Egypt but also other places like India and Thailand. It is SO freaking irritating when you’ve agreed a trip and a price, it’s my number one reason for using uber wherever possible in those places.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37032260)



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Date: October 18th, 2018 2:35 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

It’s time for your big day trip! While there are a ton of things to see in Luxor itself, there are also four great sites outside of the city, two to the south (Edfu and Qom Ombo) and two to the north (Abydos and Dendera). Sadly, you only have time for one day trip, and the northern sites are generally considered superior, so that’s where you’ll be going. You get up very early, at about 6, since it’s a long drive up to Abydos and back, and you don’t just want to see the sites, you also want enough time to see a major museum tonight when you get back to Luxor.

But first, we’re going to loot the Winter Palace’s breakfast spread:

https://imgur.com/a/2vC5Km4

The restaurant area is sparse. Egyptian tourism has fallen on hard times.

https://imgur.com/a/upDxI9Q

After eating, you link up with your driver for the day, as well as your tour guide, Bassem. You start off on the drive to Abydos. As you depart, you can see some hot air balloons.

https://imgur.com/a/Pg6spfK

Early-morning ballooning is a popular tourist activity in Luxor, although in 2013 there was a major disaster that killed 19 people. When you mention this, Bassem becomes very defensive, noting that you can also die in a freak accident while crossing the street.

Abydos is supposed to be a drive of only about 2 and a half hours, getting there ends up taking you more than three and a half. The desert highway is apparently closed for security reasons, forcing you to take the slower road near the Nile. During the trip up and back, your car is stopped by the police at least 8 times. Even more bothersome than the police, though, are the speed bumps.

https://imgur.com/a/SQfW7ig

There are CONSTANT speed bumps on Egypt’s roads, and require that your car come to almost a complete stop to go over them safely. According to Bassem, these bumps are typically built into the road by locals, mostly as a safety measure, because people live right by the road, and because when left to their own devices Egyptians are maniacs. Bassem tells you a popular Egyptian joke: In Japan there is only a single speed bump in the whole country, in front of the Egyptian embassy.

During the drive up, you pass through lush farmland that contrasts strongly with the stark desert cliffs just a short distance away.

https://imgur.com/a/ETFKD2a

A notable sight as you drive is that a very large percentage of buildings seem (at least to your untrained eye) to be permanently unfinished, as if they never finished putting on the top floor. Bassem says that things in Egypt often tend to be half-done in this way.

https://imgur.com/a/myCnrHF

Another interesting sight on the drive, which you sadly don’t get a photo of, is a sign celebrating the recent construction of a school…by the government of West Germany.

During the long drive up, you ask Bassem a bunch of questions about Egyptian culture and society. He has a lot to say. Among other things:

-Bassem doesn’t care much for president El-Sisi, describing him as uncharismatic and too willing to empower the police and military at the expense of everything else. He complains that El-Sisi recently appointed 18 new governors with a military or police background, and these governors are “very stupid.” He also says people are mad that El-Sisi recently allowed Saudi Arabia to claim some disputed Red Sea islands, which he believed cost the country its dignity. He thinks El-Sisi is popular with women though because he is a STRONG MAN.

-Despite his qualms, he greatly prefers El-Sisi to the Muslim Brotherhood, though he believes killing 5,000 of them (his number; most estimates are lower) in 2013 was unwise. “Muslim Brotherhood are very stupid people. They are more stupid than the president.”

-Bassem weighs on in Egyptian education and social stratification: “If you get high marks, you study medicine, pharmacology, or computer science. If you get low marks and know somebody, you go into the police or military, or become a judge. If you get low marks and don’t know somebody, you study law.” He complains that top posts in civilian life are filled with army retirees; the heads of the soccer and handball federations are both army men, for instance.

-Bassem says you can tell the places you are driving through are safe, because the police and soldiers are armed. “If a place isn’t safe, they don’t dare carry guns.” Police are in general badly trained, he says.

-Bassem is a native of a small town in the Luxor area. He argues that while southern Egypt is conservative, it is NOT radical. People are traditional but almost none follow violent interpretations of Islam. He says it’s different up north, in the major cities. Also, since towns are smaller and people rarely move, he says any radicals that do emerge are much easier to keep track of.

-He says tuk-tuks (small three-wheeled motorized rickshaws) took off in Egypt thanks to a legal loophole that let people drive them without a license, since laws only applied to two-wheeled and four-wheeled vehicles.

-He complains a lot about corruption in Egypt. One example he complains about is a new law that required taxi cabs to carry fire extinguishers and first aid kits. This was billed as a safety measure, he says, but connected businessmen were tipped off about the regulation ahead of time, bought up all the supplies, and made a killing, since there was a very short time between the law being announced and being implemented.

-To become a guide, he had to get a degree in Egyptology and then pass a challenging test. He’s also had to get recertified a couple times. He complains that recent tour guide tests were postponed or canceled, allowing for new tour guides to be less qualified.

-The strangest language he’s heard of an Egyptian learning to maek it as a tour guide is Romanian.

After a VERY long drive, you finally arrive at Abydos.

https://imgur.com/a/ABl3okT

The unfinished visitors’ center is empty and sad.

https://imgur.com/a/kXDwpH2

A close look at the façade reveals that the lower half is original, but the upper portion is a reconstruction.

https://imgur.com/a/7hnK2MJ

Abydos doesn’t have the same fame as Giza, Thebes, or Aswan, but in ancient Egypt it was one of the country’s most important religious sites, and received pilgrims much like Rome, Jerusalem, or Mecca would today. The earliest pharaohs of Egypt, including the unifier Narmer, were buried in this city, and it later became a center for the worship of Osiris, whose body was supposedly restored here.

Sadly, the tombs of the early pharaohs are of interest only to archaeologists, while the Great Osiris Temple has been lost to time and modern construction as well. However, a large Temple of Seti I remains, and that’s what we’re here to see today. Bossi says it’s actually her favorite site in all of Egypt.

High up near the temple’s entrance, you can see the famous “helicopter hieroglyph,” which supposedly shows a helicopter, a UFO, and a submarine. This is a major piece of evidence for the ancient aliens crowd.

https://imgur.com/a/hGWutnz

In fact, the odd hieroglyphs are a product of recycled stone. Ramses II, Seti I’s son, filled in some of the hieroglyphs with plaster to carve a slightly different message in the stone. The plaster eventually eroded away, leaving both the original message and Ramses’ rewrite in place, and creating odd shapes that today look like spaceships.

At least, that’s what THEY want you to believe.

A relief inside shows Amun-Ra receiving an offering of a smaller dude making an offering.

https://imgur.com/a/nBXsF3d

In another relief, Osiris receives an image of Maat, the cosmic order the pharaoh was supposed to bring to Egypt.

https://imgur.com/a/8201tmR

Relative to other temples, a lot of the reliefs here are really well-preserved, with remarkable painted detail surviving in some places, like on this fruit:

https://imgur.com/a/i5uLLUy

https://imgur.com/a/s9IZbN7

One of the most famous images in Abydos is this one, showing the ceremonial raising of the djed pillar, which represents stability, another kingly virtue the pharaoh brought to Egypt.

https://imgur.com/a/84jR3f9

Horus is usually a falcon-headed god, but in this relief, he’s literally a falcon wearing a crown, sitting in a box.

https://imgur.com/a/fKgJZds

The pharaoh is breast-fed by a goddess. Being king has its perks I guess.

https://imgur.com/a/bnXU60L

This falcon in a box is the hieroglyph for the goddess Hathor.

https://imgur.com/a/Zca8qFX

It alludes to the name’s meaning in Egyptian, literally “house of Horus.” This name may refer to myths where she (rather than Isis) is Horus’s mother; it also refers to her dwelling in the sky; Horus was an Egyptian sky god among his many roles.

The temple’s interior contains seven shrines. One shows Seti I being deified in death, while six others are for Egyptian gods. The most interesting is probably the shrine dedicated to Osiris. In myth, Osiris was murdered by his jealous brother Set, and his body was cut up and scattered across Egypt. His wife Isis eventually recovered all the pieces of his body except for his penis, which was swallowed by a fish (Plutarch says the Egyptians had a taboo against eating fish for this reason). In order to revive Osiris, then, Isis had to reconstruct his penis with magic. A relief shows this climactic (heh) moment, with Osiris STIMMING himself back to life.

https://imgur.com/a/9b8PaOF

Another scene shows Isis, as a bird, descending on Osiris to take his seed. She becomes pregnant with Horus, who later grows up to overthrow the wicked Set. Oddly, Horus can be seen to the left, viewing his own conception, while Isis in human form stands to the right. Egyptian art is kooky like that.

https://imgur.com/a/qVgWGWy

In another room is the famous king list of Abydos. The list takes the form of a scene, where Seti I and his son Ramses are preparing an offering to their ancestors. Seti asks Ramses to name these ancestors; the “list” is Ramses reciting all these kings. Dozens of cartouches show the names of Egyptian rulers from Menes/Narmer up to the then-present.

https://imgur.com/a/f2L2SuC

The list is historically important, as some obscure pharaohs from the troubled 7th and 8th dynasties are named on this list and nowhere else.

The pharaoh Nebra of the 2nd dynasty has a cartouche that consists of the ka symbol plus three penises:

https://imgur.com/a/sFN6IfM

These four cartouches show the pyramid builders Senefru, Khufu, Djedefru, and Khafra.

https://imgur.com/a/hVs3mQ1

The cartouche second from left is Amenhotep III, while the one in the middle is Horemheb. Akhanaten, Smenkhkare, Tutankhamun, and Ay would all go between them, but they have been deleted from history.

https://imgur.com/a/IAF9MeI

The Amarna pharaohs aren’t the only ones deemed illegitimate and left off the list. Hatshepsut and the foreign Hyksos pharaohs are missing as well. Despite covering about 1700 years of history, only 76 kings are listed on the king list.

Near the king list, the pharaoh and his son catch a bull, while a surprisingly natural-looking relief shows tons of birds taking flight.

https://imgur.com/a/Lzxiu4O

https://imgur.com/a/lzECoSI

Another relief shows the different crowns you can rock if you’re king of Egypt.

https://imgur.com/a/kybLyfG

Outside the temple are the ruins of the Osireion, so named because it has been hypothesized that the structure, dug into the ground, is meant to serve as a “symbolic” pharaonic tomb for the god Osiris.

https://imgur.com/a/UpG3F7y

That was very neat! But your day trip is only half-over. After stopping for water, you head off back towards Luxor. After an hour, you’ll stop at the day’s second destination, the Ptolomaic shrine of Dendera.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37047698)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 18th, 2018 2:45 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

There are permanently and deliberately unfinished houses exactly like that (pillars for a top floor jutting out) all over southern Italy. There, it’s for tax reasons — you only start paying property tax on a finished house or something like that. So they plan and design them to remain “unfinished”.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37047720)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 18th, 2018 6:33 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

If you get low marks and don’t know somebody, you study law.

If you get low marks and don’t know somebody, you study law.

If you get low marks and don’t know somebody, you study law.

If you get low marks and don’t know somebody, you study law.

If you get low marks and don’t know somebody, you study law.

If you get low marks and don’t know somebody, you study law.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37047938)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 18th, 2018 1:07 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37049750)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 18th, 2018 1:14 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37049794)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 18th, 2018 2:37 AM
Author: Floppy Very Tactful Goal In Life Property

did their currency split in 2016? it went from 7 to 17 overnight it seems. when i was in egypt, it was $1 = 5LE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37047702)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 18th, 2018 2:42 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

For a long time the LE was pegged to the US dollar, and before that the pound sterling. They finally floated the currency in late 2016 and it crashed in value. Touring Egypt was probably amazing in early 2017, before they got around to doubling the prices on everything.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37047712)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 18th, 2018 7:16 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

all the travel forums about Egypt are full of old timers complaining about recent inflation

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37047973)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 19th, 2018 12:35 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Seems odd. At least for actual sites, it looks like the government doubled prices, but the value of the pound has more than halved, so tourists should still come out ahead.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37054484)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 19th, 2018 8:28 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

apparently oil prices are way up in Egypt the last few months so anything car-related (such as renting a taxi for a day) is more expensive

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37055125)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 19th, 2018 12:38 AM
Author: Thriller haunted graveyard

180 thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37054494)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 19th, 2018 2:10 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

After an hour of driving back in the direction of Luxor, you get to the other stop on your day trip, the temple of Hathor at Dendera.

https://imgur.com/a/kxP1yf9

It’s a testament to the longevity of Egyptian civilization that this temple, dating to the Ptolomaic era, is a thousand years younger than the Abydos temple, and could be 2500 years younger than the Step Pyramid at Saqqara. Egypt is an old country.

In part because of its “youth,” the Dendera temple is one of the best-preserved antique structures in all Egypt. Unlike Abydos, Hatshepsut’s Temple, or a bunch of other places, Dendera never collapsed, so it still has its original roof, no reconstruction required.

Due to its later construction, the temple is also notable for its religious syncretism, and how it engages with Egypt’s foreign rulers.

For instance, near the temple (and sadly closed) is the Birth House of Augustus.

https://imgur.com/a/iSU88Vj

No, it’s not a building for literal childbirth. Instead, this building symbolically honors the nativity of the god Ihy, son of Hathor. In doing so, it also links Ihy to the current pharaohs of Egypt, i.e. the Roman emperors.

Although built by Augustus shortly after the Roman conquest, the reliefs of the building honor the emperor Trajan. In various reliefs, Trajan makes offerings to Hathor as she suckles her rather-too-old-for-this son. Note the super-complex cartouche Trajan needs because Egyptian hieroglyphs struggle to contain full Roman names.

https://imgur.com/a/9Vck4KB

In this finely-detailed relief, once again of Trajan offering to the gods, if you zoom in on Trajan’s outfit you can see that it depicts him smiting his enemies.

https://imgur.com/a/fLrSXrD

There are actually two birth houses at Dendera. The older one, the first known to exist in Egypt, was built by Nectanebo I, Egypt’s last great native pharaoh, who founded the 30th (!) dynasty and reigned in the early 300’s BC. A relief on the outer wall of that birth house shows the potter god Khnum fashioning Ihy into existence, with the help of the frog-headed goddess Heqet.

https://imgur.com/a/SIQc080

The goddess Hathor was regarded as a healing goddess, so much like the shrines to Asklepios in Greece, Dendera had a primitive sanitarium of sorts for the sick who came on pilgrimage.

http://looklex.com/egypt/photos/dendera07.jpg

Near this proto-hospital was a sacred pool to draw water from. Today, the pool has dried up and contains palm trees.

https://imgur.com/a/i6ZY5vZ

A Christian church was built on this site during late antiquity, and some of its remains are still visible as well.

https://imgur.com/a/qkDSTbu

A lot of random stonework found during the excavation of the site is lying around. Some notable items include a stone wheel and an image of the dwarf god Bes, a popular household protector god during the New Kingdom and later.

https://imgur.com/a/NhBzVYe

https://imgur.com/a/BOQeRsX

All right, it’s time to check out the big temple itself. The columns at the front of the building have Hathor-head capitals.

https://imgur.com/a/NZ7umOV

The painted reliefs inside would be in excellent condition, but the same people who built the church outside got SERIOUSLY gakked out on iconoclasm.

https://imgur.com/a/0ubPM6Q

Fortunately, though, they wrought far less damage on the ceiling, which is the real attraction of Dendera. Since the roof never collapsed, it’s all fully intact, and most of the paint is still there, even.

https://imgur.com/a/sUy98xQ

At one end of the ceiling, the elongated Goddess Nut eats the sun:

https://imgur.com/a/wdIvbH1

She eats it, of course, so that it can travel through her body during the night, and in the morning she can give birth to the scarab beetle that represents the dawn.

https://imgur.com/a/vAVqzUW

Idle thought: An elongated woman giving birth to a giant beetle could be really horrifying if portrayed realistically, so we’re pretty lucky Egyptian art was simplified.

The ceiling mostly shows a procession of boats. A notable feature is that, if you look carefully, you can see that several of the boats carry the symbols of the traditional Babylonian zodiac. In the first image, you can see Taurus and possibly Aries. In the second, you can see (right to left) Scorpio, Sagittarius, and what seems to be Capricorn. In the third, you can see Leo on the far right and Libra on the far left. If they’re following the current Zodiac order (and they seem to be), something in between them is meant to represent Virgo.

https://imgur.com/a/xEiNK5M

https://imgur.com/a/RkvaSrh

https://imgur.com/a/sIFPKhw

Most of the construction at Dendera was carried out by various late Ptolomaic pharaohs. First-century BC Egypt was a politically turbulent place, and that turbulence is reflected in Dendera’s reliefs: A large percentage of the pharaonic cartouches are left blank, as the artisans avoided inscribing the names of pharaohs who might be overthrown and replaced by successors who would look poorly on those who honored a predecessor.

https://imgur.com/a/Wll6Gs5

A shrine to Osiris on Dendera’s roof (which you’re allowed to access) contains the infamous Dendera zodiac, which shows an ancient map of the stars, circa 51 BC.

https://imgur.com/a/pQoL0HK

At least, it DID contain the zodiac. This one is actually a copy. The real one was looted by the French, and it’s now an important item at the Louvre.

The roof contains several intact sanctuaries. Many Egyptian temples had these rooftop sanctuaries, but of course almost all of them have been totally lost.

https://imgur.com/a/b4K8H5b

From the roof, you can see the remains of the mud-brick wall that surrounds the temple complex.

https://imgur.com/a/MeLzPAN

An interesting architectural feature is that there are two staircases to the roof. One ascends in a square shape, but the other is straight and at a low angle, taking up an entire side of the temple.

https://imgur.com/a/xOQBAGE

This may have had a ceremonial purpose; your guide suggests it may imitate birds that rise in a circular motion but descend in a straight one (does this actually happen? XO birdwatchers plz comment).

Some of the steps in the temple have a heavily eroded, “melted,” look, which zany ppl on the Internet take as evidence of an ancient nuclear war. Yep, that must be it.

https://www.disclose.tv/ancient-nuclear-war-the-melted-stone-steps-at-the-ancient-egyptian-site-of-dendera-313482

The temple doesn’t just have a roof. It also has a cellar, which you access by opening a grate (pay the guard or have a helpful guide) and squeezing down a very cramped stairwell.

https://imgur.com/a/yFulGik

There’s not too much to see down here. It’s mostly just more reliefs, with one big exception: This bizarre image of Egyptians posing next to what looks like a giant light bulb.

https://imgur.com/a/9MojNIR

This imagery doesn’t exist anywhere else in Egypt, and of course it’s a big hit with the ancient aliens/lost civilization types. The “lamestream” interpretation is that it’s a snake emerging from a lotus flower, representing fertility and the annual rebirth caused by the flooding Nile.

On the temple’s outer wall is a large relief of Cleopatra and her son by Julius Caesar, Caesarion, one of the view surviving works of Egyptian art to feature either of them.

https://imgur.com/a/7baM62d

Another part of the outer wall shows the 22 different royal crowns that the pharaohs of Egypt could wear.

https://imgur.com/a/eMukVIE

What a neat place! You’ll frankly admit that at the beginning you were more hyped for Abydos, but Dendera turned out to be just as cool, if not cooler.

With both of your day trip sites out of the way, you return to Luxor, arriving around 5 pm after running through several additional police checkpoints. Having spent most of the day in a car, you still have plenty of energy, which is good, because your day isn’t over. Tonight, you’ll be hitting the Luxor Museum.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37054725)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 19th, 2018 8:33 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

they are WORSHIPING that light bulb

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37055138)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 19th, 2018 8:38 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

the Goddess Nut made me think of Kafka

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37055151)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 19th, 2018 10:36 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37055552)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 19th, 2018 2:12 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

this guy's gonna turn 1 day into at least 3 poasts

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37056974)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 19th, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

I've done that for literally every day so far.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37057243)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 19th, 2018 4:15 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Now is probably as good a time as any for a short pause to talk about the touts, scammers, and hustlers who totally infest Egypt and prey on tourists. Such people are probably common in any poorer country with a lot of tourists, but Egypt is still particularly notable for them. For example, on TravelScams.org, Egypt has more scams listed on its page than any other country, except for the United States.

https://travelscams.org/africa/common-tourist-scams-egypt/

We've already mentioned the Papyrus Institute hustle the tour guides mentioned, which is mentioned in the link above. Here's some other notable trends and behaviors you've seen while in Egypt:

-People will say something to you in Arabic, then when you don't respond or act confused, they will express astonishment and say that you "look Egyptian" (you definitely don't) as a way to initiate conversation. Naturally, the conversation very quickly turns to getting you to go someplace or do something.

-In Luxor, the hustling is literally CONSTANT. You simply can't go outside, anywhere, without relentless harassment from people hawking taxis, tours, coach rides, felucca voyages, you name it. From experience, absolute silence is a better deterrent than a firm no in most cases.

-Whenever you're walking toward a popular tourist destination, even if it's very obvious what it is, locals will "helpfully" point to the front door, and act like they should get money for providing this service

-In airport bathrooms, instead of paper towel dispensers, there's a security officer who hands you pieces of toilet paper (yes, for drying your hands). The implication seems to be that you should pay them for this "service."

-There's a very specific hustle you encountered three times in Luxor. As you fend off the many people trying to give you a carriage ride, a person will approach and express sympathy over how annoying touts are. If you acknowledge them, they will say they work "in the hotel kitchen" and recognize you from when you checked in. They'll say they are on a break, and headed to the spice market to get spices for a significant other (you hear girlfriend, wife, and mother). They'll continue to walk with you, and start talking about how the bazaar they're going to is the REAL bazaar, the one Egyptians use, not the lame tourist bazaar most people visit. They'll also say that today is a SPECIAL DAY at the market where prices are MUCH LOWER because some government regulation that keeps prices high has been suspended. The obvious hustle is to get you to tag along to the market where you'll be hustled into buying overprice (or even fake) goods. But even if you resist, sometimes the tout will act like he should get money just for walking with you a long time. Bad!

-Luxor touts in particular play the sympathy card hard, openly bemoaning how bad business has been. The horsecart drivers will complain that their entire income has to go just to feed their horse.

-The only cases of outright begging, where a person simply asks for money straight-up, come from Muslim women wearing the niqab, which covers everything but their eyes. A niqab-wearing woman was also responsible for stealing your veggies in Cairo.

-If you dare to speak with locals while standing around at any location, it's common for them to invite you to a nearby building for coffee. Some may mean this in earnest, but it's a common opening to a hustle so you always have to decline.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37057700)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 20th, 2018 12:31 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

the toilet paper thing is standard in India too (if you do choose to use a toilet) and they will get violent if you don't tip them

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37061643)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 20th, 2018 12:57 PM
Author: Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth

I got Lion Kinged multiple times by Egyptian scammers. I was not prepared

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37061744)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 20th, 2018 8:04 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

like literally lion kinged?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37063963)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 21st, 2018 1:02 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Around 5 pm you make it back to Luxor, tip your guide, and set back out on your own. One nice thing about Luxor relative to Cairo is that quite a few things are open later in the day. Yesterday you saw Luxor Temple, tonight you see the Luxor Museum. But before going there, you decide to stop for some food at the Luxor McDonalds, located right next to Luxor Temple. Just like the Sphinx KFC, the primo real estate of Luxor has been thoroughly conquered by global capitalism.

https://imgur.com/a/Wbvv88W

You didn’t really eat lunch, but you’ll be eating more later tonight, so instead of going nuts you just get an order of cheese fries with jalapeno peppers, an item that McDonalds does not serve in America but totally should.

https://imgur.com/a/xaLEkac

Once again, the restaurant is several stories to provide an excellent view of Luxor Temple.

https://imgur.com/a/eigtVAb

After eating, you set off for the Luxor Museum. As you walk there, you get a nicer look at the avenue of sphinxes that once stretched from Luxor Temple all the way up to Karnak.

https://imgur.com/a/YfVQHLd

You also pass Luxor’s hospital, whose outward appearance does not inspire confidence.

https://imgur.com/a/a0YY7YR

After a short walk, you reach the museum. In contrast to the 19th-century look of the Egyptian Museum, this one has a more slick modern design.

https://imgur.com/a/jic8gN4

The differences don’t stop there. Considering the two museums cover the exact same subject matter, the Egyptian Museum and Luxor Museum are different in almost every way. The Egyptian Museum is vast, with an overwhelming collection that makes it easy to miss things and almost impossible to see everything unless one dedicates multiple days to the project. It’s also disorganized and a tad run-down, with incomplete and outdated exhibit labeling. In contrast, the Luxor Museum is clean and climate-controlled. The collection is far smaller and you can see literally everything in just a couple hours, but almost every item is interesting, and the exhibit labeling is superb.

As you walk in, the first item you see is a large statue portraying Tutankhamun as a sphinx.

https://imgur.com/a/LkGvwvu

This then leads to a hall dedicated to various large statues, of varying levels of intactness, dug up in the Luxor area.

https://imgur.com/a/uUreXe0

https://imgur.com/a/Xadgc9J

https://imgur.com/a/azarQTo

https://imgur.com/a/9MwqUgA

https://imgur.com/a/SIQ12O5

This statue looks a tad feminine, but nope, it’s not Hatshepsut, it’s just Amenhotep III. It’s a bit bigger than it may look at first; the hat is for scale.

https://imgur.com/a/EE4mmrD

This sandstone statue of Thutmose III is particularly impressive, its graceful details almost unblemished after 3400 years.

https://imgur.com/a/kdHsEs5

https://imgur.com/a/8p9mzRs

The warm look of Thutmose contrasts sharply with this Middle Kingdom statue of Amenemhat III, who has the severe look typical of that era’s art.

https://imgur.com/a/pE765V7

There’s also an impressive head of the Middle Kingdom pharaoh Sesotris III.

https://imgur.com/a/5m0VjZe

This, um, heartwarming statue shows a youthful-looking Amenhotep III chilling with the crocodile-headed god Sobek.

https://imgur.com/a/hQ68VZG

Two of these fragments are from tombs, and another is from Karnak temple. They’re unremarkable except for one thing: All of them were returned to Egypt after being taken outside the country. Egypt has them on display to promote the return of other antiquities from abroad.

https://imgur.com/a/HTMsaXA

https://imgur.com/a/c8WCYbz

There’s an entire section of the museum dedicated to the military glories of the New Kingdom. This stela celebrates the 17th dynasty pharaoh Kamose’s victories over the Hyksos. But while it talks a big game, historians believe it was only his brother, Ahmose, who finally vanquished them 20 years later.

https://imgur.com/a/4VRILVX

This stone tablet has nine different bows on it, representing those used by Egypt’s foreign enemies. This tablet would lie on the ground and the king would stand on the bows, symbolically trampling over the enemies of Egypt. The inscriptions flanking the bows read “All foreign lands lie under the feet of the lord of the two lands.”

https://imgur.com/a/iU4MRWI

This relief shows Amenhotep II engaging in archery practice. In the inscriptions, Amenhotep boats that he uses copper targets instead of wooden ones for target practices, but his mighty arrows still easily punch through.

https://imgur.com/a/hFk942J

Next to the relief is an actual Egyptian-style bow, recovered from a tomb.

https://imgur.com/a/CbckRKr

This ceremonial axe, made of electrum, celebrates the victories of Ahmose and prays for his long life. It was found in the tomb of his mother.

https://imgur.com/a/Ald48yh

The mother’s tomb also had these golden flies, used a Medal of Honor of sorts for brave soldiers. We say honors like this at the Egyptian Museum as well, but these flies are far larger.

https://imgur.com/a/lk7b8Uw

The Luxor Museum has its own royal mummy, of an unknown Middle Kingdom pharaoh. The label notes that this mummy was “discovered” at a museum in Niagara Falls, as it languished in storage for years without anybody noticing its importance (this actually happens with a lot of historical artifacts).

https://imgur.com/a/BHKmSD1

https://imgur.com/a/uWe4F3q

Graffiti from a broken pottery (?) fragment shows some men engaged in good old wrasslin’.

https://imgur.com/a/DP1VuwY

This statue of Ramses II is contains both red and grey granite. They seem to have done their best to concentrate the red granite on his crown but weren’t too picky in the end.

https://imgur.com/a/frPogUu

Hack job restorationists badly damaged this statue back in the 70s. The Luxor museum boasts about fixing it to the best of their ability.

https://imgur.com/a/shmeY6r

https://imgur.com/a/u4eTUZN

This prisoner is having a bad day.

https://imgur.com/a/c5zHEIH

This miniature boat rowed by miniature doods is one of many cool miniatures sets dug up from the graves of ancient Egyptian autists.

https://imgur.com/a/L3OXkM9

The exhibit design makes them really hard to photograph, but one area shows artistic outlines that were used by Egyptian craftsmen to plan out tombs, temples, and artwork. Art in ancient Egypt was not a creative outlet; it was a technical one, with craftsmen working in a manner similar to blacksmiths or carpenters.

https://imgur.com/a/28lcH1E

https://imgur.com/a/87XZ30b

The most recent items in the museum are these gold coins, dating to the Byzantine period and the early Islamic period. Some of these coins, minted by the caliph Abdel Malek, were the first Islamic coins to remove all images and include only Quranic verses.

https://imgur.com/a/yonA3fA

https://imgur.com/a/3KUWU9O

This image of Queen Hatshepsut notably portrays her as a woman, not as a man, making offerings to Amun-Ra.

https://imgur.com/a/DtQKQRJ

Its collection pales compared to the Egyptian Museum, but there are a few kooky Amarna-style statues in the Luxor Museum.

https://imgur.com/a/nxeRupV

This wall was used in one of Akhenaten’s temples, and portrays him participating in the sed festival. The human figures have the weird look typical of the Amarna period. The wall was later broken up and used as filler for the ninth pylon at Karnak, where it was eventually rediscovered and reassembled by intrepid archaeologists.

https://imgur.com/a/CeMNs1j

That museum didn’t take too long to get through, but almost everything in it was interesting. Before heading out, you decide to swing by the bookstore. There’s definitely some odd items there.

This book of academic gobblygook argues for the importance of diversity, and offers EGYPT as a case study of successful co-existence between different groups. Also, something something democratic socialism.

https://imgur.com/a/jQJ85lO

https://imgur.com/a/S6wohDT

Another book, The Stargate Conspiracy, argues that the Egyptian gods were aliens who will soon return to Earth.

https://imgur.com/a/icSJfj7

In the end, you do get a book, a small one translating various stories discovered on ancient Egyptian papyri.

https://www.amazon.com/Egyptian-Complete-Collection-Papyrus-Stories-ebook/dp/B001L5U35A

It’s time to end yet another long day with dinner. Tonight, you decide to eat at the rooftop restaurant of the Nefertiti hotel, the Al-Sahaby Lane Restaurant. The menu boasts about the restaurant’s commitment to environment sustainability.

https://imgur.com/a/VxIpo84

You had that McDonald’s snack just a couple hours ago, so instead of getting a full meal, you get the spiced vanilla drink sahlab to drink, plus some feteera, a sort of large stuffed pastry with chocolate on top.

https://imgur.com/a/smNfT1x

https://imgur.com/a/mnKbuBv

Yikes! You definitely pigged out more today than any other in Egypt. Be careful, you don’t want to become ANOTHER fatass American tourist.

But penance can come another day. You head back to your hotel to get to sleep. Tomorrow is your last full day in Egypt, and you have to make it count. You’ll be arising bright and early to see the grandeur of ancient Egypt’s greatest temple: Karnak.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37065631)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 21st, 2018 11:43 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37066632)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 21st, 2018 11:53 AM
Author: sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap

Looks like you will finish your thread before I start mine.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37066668)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 21st, 2018 4:53 PM
Author: provocative cobalt selfie



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37067728)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 25th, 2018 7:15 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

jalapeno fries needs to be a thing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37090868)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 25th, 2018 7:47 AM
Author: clear comical stage

It’s fascinating to see humblr technology has progressed through the ages.

https://m.imgur.com/a/c5zHEIH

To

https://goo.gl/images/LShVwn

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37090944)



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Date: October 29th, 2018 12:09 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

On your last full day in Egypt, you get up at the crack of dawn. You have to, because you once again have a lot to see, and you have to fit it all in by the early evening, when you need to leave town to get back to Cairo. Fortunately, while the sites in Luxor itself are open late, Karnak Temple is the opposite. It opens really early, at 6 am, so you’ll be starting your day there, then returning to the west bank in the afternoon to hit your final attractions in Luxor.

The temple is located about 2 miles north of your hotel, just as the city center gives way to countryside. “Karnak” is the Arabic name, derived from the word for “fortified village.” In ancient times, the heart of the temple was called Ipet-Isut, roughtly meaning “most perfect of places.” Construction at Karnak dates to the Middle Kingdom, and it was still in use even during Roman times, but it was during the New Kingdom that Karnak flourished as perhaps the greatest temple complex in the world. The temple is divided into three precincts, honoring the three gods of the Theban triad: Amun-Ra, his wife Mut, and their son Montu. Amun-Ra’s precinct is by far the largest and most impressive, and the only one open to visitors today.

The temple was built up over the course of more than a thousand years, and even today it remains one of the largest religious structures ever built, covering a space larger than Vatican City. During the reign of Ramses III, 65 villages and 81,000 workers were assigned for the temple’s use, yet ordinary people were mostly barred from entering the temple at all.

As you go through the small visitors center, you see a model of the temple as it may have looked 3000 years ago (although that temple was probably painted, and had way more random statues lying around.

https://imgur.com/a/l00H2qN

Karnak multiple sound and light shows each day; a look at the schedule shows how popular Egypt remains with German tourists.

https://imgur.com/a/ps8Pg7y

The first part of Karnak proper that you encounter is the remains of its ancient dock, where a statue of Amun boarded a boat to sail for Luxor Temple during the annual Optet festival.

https://imgur.com/a/pMU3ibf

The entrance to the First Pylon is flanked by sphinx statues, but instead of having human heads, they have ram heads, as the ram was associated with Amun.

https://imgur.com/a/TbRTyjt

The First Pylon at Karnak is often attributed to the Nubian and Ethiopian pharaohs who conquered Egypt in the 25th dynasty, though that attribution is uncertain. At 130 m wide and 43 meters tall, it’s the largest pylon in Egypt.

http://pages.jh.edu/~egypttoday/2012/images/060812-1.jpg

https://imgur.com/a/oIddGZ5

A ways inside the temple is a gate called the Bubastite Portal, so named because the pharaohs who built is reigned in the Nile Delta city of Bubastis. The most notable feature of this gate is the Shoshenk Relief.

https://imgur.com/a/LKYW8GB

The relief lists the military accomplishments of Shoshenk I. Pharaohs bragging about their military feats is pretty common, but the Shoshenk Relief is notable for its intersection with Biblical history. The Book of Kings describes an Egyptian pharaoh “Shishak” sacking Jerusalem in the 900s BC, in support of Israel’s secession from Judah under King Jeroboam. The Shoshenk Relief describes a military campaign into Palestine, with a long list of sacked cities from what would be the old Kingdom of Israel. As such, most historians belief the biblical “Shishak” is Shoshenk.

Some Asiatics on the relief beg for their lives.

https://imgur.com/a/v7DYaSA

At the center of Karnak is its most impressive site by far: The gargantuan hypostyle hall, containing 134 columns that rise as high as 80 feet. The largest columns are about 15 m around; it would take six people stretching out their arms to encircle a single one. The roof of the temple collapsed long ago, but the lotus-blossom columns remain to inspire awe.

https://imgur.com/a/ZjqUTmG

https://imgur.com/a/FrXr7Ae

At 54,000 square feet, the hypostyle hall alone is larger than many European cathedrals. A sign shows how the hall compares with the Notre Dame in Paris.

https://imgur.com/a/90gxCxz

A step shows some bound prisoners, so that the pharaoh could trample on Egypt’s enemies when he walked on it.

https://imgur.com/a/U1Z0U3y

Reliefs outside the Hypostyle Hall show the battles of Ramses II, including Kadesh yet again. The text of the peace treaty between the Egyptians and Hittites is inscribed on a wall.

https://imgur.com/a/jKHH5tU

Meanwhile, on the Hall’s north side are massive battle reliefs for Ramses’s father, Seti I.

https://imgur.com/a/AaMQoOr

Two obelisks rise over the center of Karnak.

https://imgur.com/a/rueJqwH

The smaller of the two was built by Thutmose I. The larger was erected by Hatshepsut, and is the only standing one of the 4 obelisks she built here.

https://imgur.com/a/esXvnQN

Today, it’s the largest obelisk still standing in Egypt, and the second-largest Egyptian obelisk in the world, after the Lateran Obelisk currently standing in St. Peter’s Square.

While Hatshepsut’s great obelisk has survived, some images of her in the temple were not so lucky. They were aggressively defaced by her successor Thutmose III.

https://imgur.com/a/oDlYtqq

https://imgur.com/a/incuD1Q

Another one of Hatshepsut’s obelisks toppled long ago, and its tip is on display nearby.

https://imgur.com/a/RdclQsC

Also on display is the famous giant scarab statue.

https://imgur.com/a/yqcq8BW

Both items are on display near the so-called Sacred Lake. The Lake, filled by an underground water source, was used for ritual purification purposes centuries ago, but it’s still full even today.

https://imgur.com/a/9mnHNT5

One of the later additions to Karnak was a shrine built in honor of Philip Arrhidaeus, the retarded brother of Alexander the Great. It simply shows Philip making offerings to the gods.

https://imgur.com/a/T317TGM

At first glance, this wall may look like a king list, with men’s heads jutting out above what seem to be cartouches.

https://imgur.com/a/ulLYf2i

In fact, though, this is Thutmose III’s Canaanite city list. It lists more than a hundred cities he captured during a campaign there; the faces represent the princes of those cities who were captured during his conquest.

Toward the back of the Precinct of Amun-Ra is another work of Thutmose, the so-called Festival Hall. It was likely used for various religious rituals. Its design seems intended to evoke a giant tent, with stone awnings and columns that resemble tent poles.

https://imgur.com/a/hTRRrhB

The Festival Hall was later repurposed as a Christian Church, so many of the columns have faded, shoddily-painted Christian saints on them.

https://imgur.com/a/QtKiKjF

On the north end of Karnak is the Open Air Museum. It’s basically a mix of unsorted blocks recovered at Karnak, plus some heavily-reconstructed chapels whose original location is unknown.

https://imgur.com/a/ttjQOMr

https://imgur.com/a/0udkDGF

The first such chapel is the White Chapel of Senusret I.

https://imgur.com/a/33g1qmo

This entire chapel was built way back in the Middle Kingdom, but then was broken down and used as filler for the Third Pylon. The pieces were eventually discovered there by excavators, who removed them and pieced them together in a heroic archaeological jigsaw puzzle. (These aren’t the only artifacts discovered as filler; lots of Akhenaten statues were found in the same way).

The reliefs inside the White Chapel are considered exceptionally high-quality given their age. They include numerous images of Senusret providing STIM SUPPORT to the god Min.

https://imgur.com/a/yXVxrM0

https://imgur.com/a/8KvXvHZ

The other major reconstructed chapel is Hatshepsut’s Red Chapel, also reassembled from pieces found elsewhere.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/32/Red_chapel_of_Hatshepsut_at_karnak_83d40m_egyptarchiveUKkarnak62.JPG

Much like the Ramesseum, Karnak makes for a picturesque ruin and there are lots of great angles to view it as you wander around the temple.

https://imgur.com/a/ORwehNK

https://imgur.com/a/n5ggTcD

https://imgur.com/a/dpuVwkM

https://imgur.com/a/ZfuY5Xk

Finally, after more than three hours, you’ve finished exploring Karnak. It would be a fitting capstone to this trip, but in fact, it’s not even noon yet, and you have a few more sights to hit. You return back to the Winter Palace, where you link up with Haggag from two days ago. You and him are headed back to the west bank to see the last great temple of the Luxor area: Ramses III’s mortuary temple, the Medinet Habu.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37115545)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 29th, 2018 1:37 AM
Author: magenta flirting university pervert

poasting in historic thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37115860)



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Date: October 29th, 2018 2:21 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven

I see what you did there

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37115948)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 29th, 2018 2:31 AM
Author: magenta flirting university pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37115964)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 29th, 2018 2:21 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37115946)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 29th, 2018 5:29 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

6337985 stimming scene

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37119949)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 29th, 2018 9:15 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37116655)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 29th, 2018 11:53 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37122665)



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Date: October 31st, 2018 3:42 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

After a quick jaunt across the river and a stop by the ticket office, you and Haggag arrive at the Medinet Habu.

https://imgur.com/a/tkTRGeT

That’s the Arab name, of course. The Egyptians called this area Djanet, and the temple itself is the mortuary temple of Ramses III. It’s one of the best-preserved New Kingdom temples, and the largest in the Luxor area besides Karnak itself. The temple was surrounded by a massive enclosure wall, which allowed it to double as a fortress; it sheltered the Theban population during an invasion of Libyans in the 20th dynasty, and it later became a walled town in its own right, with Coptic peasants living in the shadow of Ramses III. Their houses were cleared out more than a century ago, in order to restore the temple to its antique state.

Before arriving at the main temple itself, you first pass through the temple’s asymmetric fortified gatehouse. https://imgur.com/a/dH7wSLq

https://imgur.com/a/fV81gWP

This gate is known as the Migdol Gate, from the Hebrew word meaning “fortress,” because it strongly resembles the fortification styles of contemporary Asiatic fortresses. Ramses or his architects may have encountered gates like this while on campaign in the Levant. The area above the gate had a room for Ramses’ harem, decorated with reliefs of dancing girls. Sadly, it’s inaccessible to tourists.

Inside the Migdol Gate is a vast open area, with Ramses’ temple at the center.

https://imgur.com/a/XmmBo6T

Just inside the outer pylon are reliefs celebrating Ramses III’s (alleged) military triumphs. In one set of images, the pharaoh’s priests count the enemy dead by tallying their severed hands and penises.

https://imgur.com/a/ZSTSc7R

https://imgur.com/a/CzpHCfn

In another relief, Ramses grasps thirty men at once by their hair, and prepares to smite them all, as pharaohs are wont to do.

https://imgur.com/a/YNvs2qQ

Considering almost the whole temple is exposed to the elements, some areas have an astonishing amount of ancient paint remaining.

https://imgur.com/a/2yobDvQ

https://imgur.com/a/9ZS10UJ

One lintel near the back of the temple shows Ramses and a parade of baboons worshipping Amun-Ra’s sacred barque.

https://imgur.com/a/0uRq43W

Outside the temple is the sad piss puddle that is all that remains of the old Sacred Lake. Medinet Habu was the supposed birthplace of the 8 original Egyptian gods, so women would bath in this pool in the hopes that Isis would help them get pregnant.

https://imgur.com/a/UCMCThK

For historians, the most famous part of the temple is a long relief on the outer wall of the main temple. It shows Ramses firing arrows into a mass of hostile ships.

https://imgur.com/a/lOPbR7I

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/11/Seev%C3%B6lker.jpg

This relief, the only depiction of a naval battle in ancient Egyptian art, is one of the most significant and hotly-debated in ancient historiography. The attackers in the relief have become known as the Sea People, due to their mode of attack and our otherwise near-complete lack of information about them.

The attack of the Sea Peoples on Egypt closely coincides with the famous Bronze Age Collapse. Over the span of a single lifetime, major cultures such as the Minoans, the Mycenaean Greeks, and the Hittites totally collapsed. Virtually every city in the Eastern Mediterranean was sacked or destroyed, society broke down, the population plunged, and literacy declined so much that the Greeks literally forgot Linear B and spent half a millennium in a dark age without written records.

Exactly what caused the Bronze Age collapse is perhaps the single biggest mystery in recorded history, and the Sea Peoples are right at the heart of that mystery. Did they directly cause the collapse, or was their marauding a consequence of a collapse that had already begun for other reasons? For that matter, who were they in the first place, and where did they come from? Nobody knows. Many suggest they originated from Greece or the Aegean Sea. Others suggest Anatolia, or lands as far off as Italy and Sardinia. Some have even suggested they were Trojans who turned to raiding after the destruction of their city in the Trojan War. Sadly, unless there’s a major new archaeological discovery, all we’re going to have is guesswork and a perpetually baffling relief.

Before leaving the temple, you bribe a site guardian to let you climb onto the temple’s roof.

https://imgur.com/a/cJoldai

Sadly, you can’t check go up to the front of the temple, where the best shots would be, because all the other guardians would see you, and the bribe cost would go up substantially. Still, you get a few photos from the higher vantage point. They aren’t that great to be honest, but much like with sex, the effect is enhanced by the forbidden nature of the act.

https://imgur.com/a/kPbXAZS

https://imgur.com/a/vak2ODz

https://imgur.com/a/0AFuEpm

Wow, that site raced by! With Medinet Habu out of the way, your weeklong Egyptian tour has only one destination remaining: The scattered tombs of the Valley of the Nobles.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37130470)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 31st, 2018 3:51 AM
Author: magenta flirting university pervert

Wow 1800

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37130490)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 31st, 2018 4:06 AM
Author: contagious ape heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37130510)



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Date: October 31st, 2018 7:31 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37130754)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 31st, 2018 1:05 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37132300)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 2nd, 2018 9:50 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

moar

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37148137)



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Date: November 4th, 2018 1:04 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37156381)



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Date: November 4th, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

Tomb of Sennedjem is LIT AS FUCK, that may be the coolest painted thing I’ve seen in this whole thread

Dudes harvesting the grapes in Nakht’s tomb are doing the “pharaoh smiting Asiatics” pose

Sennefer kind of looks like luis

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37156999)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 10th, 2018 5:52 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

This is it. After seven days of traveling and a whopping two months of photo curation, it’s finally time to head back to the States. You could fly from Luxor to Cairo, but to save money and try something different, you’re instead going to take a train. But first you stop at a west bank restaurant that boasts of its ice cubes made from filtered water.

https://imgur.com/a/JYn8ZID

After your meal, you cross the Nile one last time. As you walk to the landing, you pass some chill guys riding on camels.

https://imgur.com/a/xXTMhcd

Once you get back across, you fetch your bags from the Winter Palace, and then it’s just a short walk to the train station. This is definitely not how most tourists travel. While the station is packed and deafening, you’re probably the only tourist there, and there isn’t even English signage. Also, when people need to get to the other side of the tracks, a significant number of them literally just hop down on the tracks and get up on the other side. Very kooky.

President El-Sisi is not making the trains run on time; your special overnight sleeper car is about an hour late. But your private car is otherwise clean and pleasant.

https://imgur.com/a/j789i5D

https://imgur.com/a/sc6kYsK

The meal isn’t atrocious either.

https://imgur.com/a/4wGSMXy

After a quiet overnight ride of about ten hours, you arrive at the train station in Giza. From there, it’s a short subway ride back into downtown Cairo. As you leave the subway station, you observe Cairenes pathological hatred of staircases. They’re willing to line up and wait to take the escalator instead, which they all remain stationary on.

https://imgur.com/a/yiVA41U

You have about 6 hours before your flight, but that doesn’t mean you’re going touring again. It’s a Sunday morning, bub, and this is a Charles Digital thread. We’re going to church.

https://imgur.com/a/9XCv3EZ

Saint Joseph’s church is shockingly large given Egypt’s tiny Catholic community; it was built in the early 20th century to serve the city’s large European community. That community isn’t so large today, and it’s less religious, but the church endures. The service you attend has only about 20 people, and most attendees appear Middle Eastern rather than European. The service is in Arabic.

The statue outside honors St. Francis, who accompanied the Fifth Crusade to Egypt and attempted to convert the sultan. Scenes on the pedestal show the meeting between the two.

https://imgur.com/a/9OYNnBF

The interior is thoroughly European. You aren’t sure what religious scenes are shown in the paintings at the top, though in one of them the pharaoh is petting a doggydood.

https://imgur.com/a/rHDwBx6

https://imgur.com/a/8nmT1nB

Outside after the service, the fattest person you’ve seen in Egypt is using a broom to sweep away a dead cat. This must be that fabled vibrant authenticity that exists in the Third World.

https://imgur.com/a/WWMwdQ2

https://imgur.com/a/vml20g4

And with that dead cat, your time in Egypt comes to a close. You stop by the El Abd pastry shop again for some more treats, and then you grab an Uber back to the airport to catch your flight. This time, instead of going through Munich, you go through Germany’s hub of global capitalism, Frankfurt. You’re only there overnight, but the trains do run the whole time, so why not head into town to see what little you can?

Frankfurt is one of the only cities in Europe with a U.S.-style skyline of tall downtown office buildings.

https://imgur.com/a/tSBajJ0

But despite all the glitz, Frankfurt is also an ancient city. The great writer Johan Wolfgang von Goethe was born in Frankfurt more than 250 years ago, and the house he was born in still stands as a museum today.

https://imgur.com/a/CmMo1mn

Just to the east is the old town square, containing the city’s 600-year-old city hall, the Römer. It’s heavily reconstructed, as it was mostly destroyed during World War 2.

https://imgur.com/a/ud3DH2Y

Further east than that is the city’s cathedral, where the Holy Roman Emperors were crowned for centuries. Despite its name, it’s not actually a cathedral as it is not the see of a bishop. It’s rather hard to see in the dark, and it appears to be undergoing restoration.

https://imgur.com/a/ewg53hm

https://imgur.com/a/71fZyVf

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/28/Mk_Frankfurt_Dom_Saalhof.jpg

Also near the center of the city is the Paulskirche, a United Protestant (formerly Lutheran) church that was the meeting hall for the Frankfurt Parliament during the 1848 Revolutions.

https://imgur.com/a/VthATbl

The parliament offered an imperial crown to Frederich William IV of Prussia, but he refused it on the grounds that he would not accept a “crown from the gutter.” Like the city hall, Paulskirche was destroyed in World War 2 and heavily rebuilt, so the interior is not even the same as the one the parliament met in. It’s also no longer used as a church, as the congregation was relocated so the city could use the building for civic purposes instead.

Nearby Paulskirche is the headquarters of the European Central Bank, which administers monetary policy for the Eurozone.

https://imgur.com/a/tcMgjqZ

Right by the ECB is the building of the Frankfurt Opera. European XO users are unable to move out of Frankfurt back to their childhood homes in Schleswig-Holstein because it would mean giving this up.

https://imgur.com/a/rOxED6O

The much prettier Alte Oper (Old Opera) is nearby. The first performance of Carmina Burana was held here.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1f/Alte_Oper_Frankfurt_am_Main_2012.jpg/1280px-Alte_Oper_Frankfurt_am_Main_2012.jpg

The last thing to see in Frankfurt is a stark reminder of modern European decadence. Directly across from the central train station is a massive Red Light District.

https://imgur.com/a/DDtxzLQ

The area covers several city blocks, and is nothing but brothels, strip clubs, gambling halls, and similarly sordid businesses. The area is also lenient on drugs, so people can be seen using hard drugs in the middle of the street. Even street prostitution is tolerated, so while you are walking back to the station you get approached by an Eastern European-looking woman who asks if you want “drinks.” Besides the immoral prurient possibilities, that’s also setting up a common scam where tourists end up paying hundreds of Euros for high-end drinks. Alcohol is poison, kids.

Instead, you get back to the airport, hop on your flight, and 8 hours later, you’re finally back in America. 180!

https://imgur.com/a/43YQALG



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37205293)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 10th, 2018 6:01 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

180

thanks for this thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37205330)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 10th, 2018 7:26 PM
Author: sienna irradiated mad-dog skullcap

You maed it!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37205765)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2018 4:34 PM
Author: magenta flirting university pervert

epic thread ty for your service

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37210927)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2018 5:38 PM
Author: contagious ape heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37211363)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 12th, 2018 9:03 PM
Author: Brilliant multi-billionaire ticket booth

Thank you, Sir

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37219797)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 10th, 2018 8:03 PM
Author: yapping temple

so where to next?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37205970)



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Date: November 10th, 2018 8:31 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

I actually did a trip to Kansas City with my family a month ago which was 180. I haven't decided on my next international trip, but my sister wants me to plan something with her and her husband. Japan and the Holy Land are top candidates.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37206089)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 12th, 2018 9:13 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

OUT the BBQ places you ate at

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37219893)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 13th, 2018 12:52 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Jack Stack > Arthur Bryant's > Joe's, but all were extremely 180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37221390)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 13th, 2018 7:16 AM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37221966)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2018 4:16 PM
Author: magenta flirting university pervert

https://www.npr.org/2018/11/11/666704847/archaeologists-discover-dozens-of-cat-mummies-100-cat-statues-in-ancient-tomb

MIDDLE EAST

Archaeologists Discover Dozens Of Cat Mummies, 100 Cat Statues In Ancient Tomb

November 11, 201812:32 PM ET

LAUREL WAMSLEY

Twitter

Men carry mummified cats from a tomb at the Saqqara necropolis in Egypt on Saturday.

Mohamed Abd El Ghany/Reuters

The more archaeologists continue to explore the tombs of ancient Egypt, the more evidence mounts that ancient Egyptians admired cats — and loved mummifying them.

Egypt's Ministry of Antiquities announced Saturday that a team of Egyptian archaeologists excavating a 4,500-year-old tomb near Cairo has found dozens of mummified cats. Also in the tomb were 100 gilded wooden cat statues, as well as a bronze statue of Bastet, the goddess of cats.

The discoveries were made at a newly discovered tomb in Saqqara, the site of a necropolis used by the ancient city of Memphis. The tomb dates from the Fifth Dynasty of the Old Kingdom, and archaeologists have found another one nearby with its door still sealed — raising the possibility that its contents are untouched.

The Ministry of Antiquities was clear about its goals in announcing the discoveries: attracting visitors back to Egypt's heritage sites, as the country has experienced a significant drop in tourists since the 2011 mass protests that overthrew dictatorial President Hosni Mubarak.

The ministry tweeted photos of the findings. Pictures of the cat statues took front and center — with the ancient felines looking proud and cool, like an upscale, 4,500-year-old version of what a cat fancier today might try to commission.

The mummified cats themselves ... well, those images are more unsettling, though they offer incontrovertible evidence that mummification is highly effective.

While ancient Egyptians saw cats as divine, they didn't exactly worship them, Antonietta Catanzariti, curator of the Smithsonian Sackler Gallery exhibit Divine Felines: Cats of Ancient Egypt, told NPR last year.

"What they did is to observe their behavior," she said, and create gods and goddesses in their image — much as they did with other animals, including dogs, crocodiles, snakes and bulls.

And while cat mummies are fascinating, Catanzariti said they were also pretty common in ancient Egypt, where cats were bred for the purpose. "In the 1890s, people from England went to Egypt and they collected all these mummies. One cargo was 180,000 of them."

Perhaps that's why the antiquities ministry made a bigger deal about something else they discovered in the tomb: mummified scarab beetles. Two large specimens were found wrapped in linen, apparently in very good condition. They were inside sarcophagi decorated with drawings of scarabs.

"The (mummified) scarab is something really unique. It is something really a bit rare," Mostafa Waziri, secretary-general of Egypt's Supreme Council of Antiquities, told outlets including Reuters.

"A couple of days ago, when we discovered those coffins, they were sealed coffins with drawings of scarabs. I never heard about them before."



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37210811)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2018 5:21 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner

C12 needs to hie back to Egypt and take some pictures

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37211251)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2018 11:58 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37479411)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 29th, 2019 2:39 PM
Author: pale forum deer antler

Awesome thread.

OP, what would be a problem, if any, w just getting a cheap hotel in Cairo and doing tours of the city and little day trips for a week.

How would you proceed if you were gonna do that?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37685670)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 29th, 2019 3:50 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

My specific cheap hotel in Cairo did have a faulty air conditioner in my room which was a problem; springing for a nicer place could be worth it to avoid that. Other than that, there was no problem with staying in a cheap place; they still have wifi and are still located in the city center.

Regarding tours, I think my itinerary for my three days in Cairo was close to perfect. One day for the Egyptian Museum + Citadel, another day for Islamic Cairo + Giza and Saqqara (Dahshur is skippable if you aren't a HUGE pyramid nut like me), and then a third day for Coptic sites. With more time you can add in stuff like a Nile dinner cruise, secondary museums (there's a museum of Islamic art I skipped), or just pacing yourself a bit more on the major sites with more time for eating, etc. I was satisfied with all my paid tour guides, and as long as you use TripAdvisor reviews you should come out fine.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37686231)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 29th, 2019 5:36 PM
Author: pale forum deer antler

180

BTW this pic of yours is goddamn amazing. The human condition, huh

https://imgur.com/a/mUA590s

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37686931)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 30th, 2019 11:29 AM
Author: pale forum deer antler

thank you. did you do luxor the king tut stuff? I'd like to do that too but I don't want to pay for airplane tickets for three people to luxor and then back to cairo.

It seems unfair that luxor is only like 350 miles away but you have to fly there in order to do a day trip out from cairo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37691105)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 30th, 2019 1:18 PM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

Luxor is 180 but I actually skipped King Tut's tomb. It costs extra and isn't really that remarkable except that his mummy is still in situ. With limited time I focused on the more 180 tombs.

I spent two and a half days just in Luxor (plus the day trip to Abydos/Dendera), and I'd say that's the minimum to see all its major sites. I'm not sure how the logistics of a day-trip flight would work out, but it could be worth it if you just really want to see the Valley of Kings and the nearby temples. They're extremely 180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#37691837)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 21st, 2019 9:18 PM
Author: insanely creepy honey-headed corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#39009704)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2019 3:39 AM
Author: Fragrant bespoke chapel giraffe

Started reading this at 1 am. It’s now 2:30 and I’m only 80 percent done (I think)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#39332593)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 27th, 2019 8:57 AM
Author: passionate hairless library mood

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#39333146)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 19th, 2020 2:10 PM
Author: Slimy locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#39618844)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 15th, 2020 12:32 AM
Author: dark bipolar pit juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#40610503)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2022 4:36 PM
Author: Painfully honest sable principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#44861894)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2022 4:37 PM
Author: diverse station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#44861901)



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Date: August 11th, 2022 6:38 PM
Author: Spruce cerebral useless brakes stag film

Chucks guide is pretty spot on. On day three here. Between him and RSF this site is better than flyertalk. Not sure if I want to follow the Krampus Mississippi parody though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#45000869)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 14th, 2022 10:51 PM
Author: Mentally impaired flatulent business firm double fault

180, DESCRIBE your own visit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#45014715)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 31st, 2024 12:37 AM
Author: Mentally impaired flatulent business firm double fault



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4072588&forum_id=2#47349189)