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POLL: when is the last time you shit your pants?

Defined as requiring an underwear change.
Stimulating laser beams
  09/18/18
two days ago? does just after midnight count as the night p...
Sadistic area double fault
  09/18/18
Morning
Stimulating laser beams
  09/18/18
then yesterday
Cerebral magical gaping
  09/18/18
Ty
Stimulating laser beams
  09/18/18
honestly did that with my now wife after a long bout of horr...
out-of-control boyish menage kitty cat
  09/18/18
jfc now thats a good woman
Milky Center Cuck
  09/18/18
i remember getting really drunk a couple days later and thin...
out-of-control boyish menage kitty cat
  09/18/18
180
racy adulterous ticket booth
  09/19/18
...
Peach Beady-eyed Home Toilet Seat
  09/19/18
this is my worst nightmare on a flight. I travel for busines...
awkward lascivious party of the first part
  09/19/18
very recently. was out jogging with no bathroom around and s...
aquamarine stage
  09/18/18
i was coaching basketball. i had a 7-11 coffee that, in r...
Buff misunderstood corner kitty
  09/18/18
haha holy shit
henna locale
  09/18/18
...
Stimulating laser beams
  09/18/18
*claps* tytyty. this is why we come to XO
drunken alpha
  09/18/18
ty friend. means a lot. i'm actually fairly proud i wrote...
Buff misunderstood corner kitty
  09/19/18
lmao
Milky Center Cuck
  09/18/18
...
Flirting Dopamine
  09/18/18
literal lol
nubile bawdyhouse old irish cottage
  09/19/18
thanks, jim. means a lot coming from you.
Buff misunderstood corner kitty
  09/19/18
...
nubile bawdyhouse old irish cottage
  09/19/18
...
motley honey-headed spot prole
  09/19/18
...
Dead Travel Guidebook
  09/19/18
...
Primrose Parlor
  09/19/18
would read again. just did. still good.
Titillating knife shrine
  09/19/18
ty
Buff misunderstood corner kitty
  09/19/18
Better question: when's the last time I didn't?
Galvanic People Who Are Hurt Hell
  09/18/18
(George Brett)
Curious Bespoke National
  09/18/18
Every time I drink more than a 12 pack
useless orchestra pit
  09/18/18
I sharted in my boxers like two weeks ago. It was the day af...
cracking bat-shit-crazy chapel boiling water
  09/18/18
oh that's nbd. most of us regularly shart
Self-centered newt tanning salon
  09/19/18
Sharting happens more often than I would have thought. La...
nubile bawdyhouse old irish cottage
  09/19/18
180
Buff misunderstood corner kitty
  09/19/18
june or july 2015, but i was going commando at the time, so ...
Appetizing Factory Reset Button
  09/19/18
right now
khaki big dilemma codepig
  09/19/18
anytime i drink more than five drinks, and then walk over a ...
Titillating knife shrine
  09/19/18
9 years ago. CLE for my group. Sitting around some conferenc...
very tactful balding university
  09/19/18
...
nubile bawdyhouse old irish cottage
  09/19/18
1 fucking 80
Buff misunderstood corner kitty
  09/19/18
impressive work.
awkward lascivious party of the first part
  09/19/18
three years ago this November. duck hunting. I ate a granola...
awkward lascivious party of the first part
  09/19/18
should have just hung ass outside the blind and dropped the ...
Appetizing Factory Reset Button
  09/19/18
less a turd and more a shit spray normally this would hav...
awkward lascivious party of the first part
  09/19/18
should have hung ass out the top of the blind and sprayed sh...
Appetizing Factory Reset Button
  09/19/18
I can’t imagine any circumstances where I would not vote for...
Stimulating laser beams
  09/19/18
month ago vomitted my intestines out and shit my pants simul...
cheese-eating floppy stead
  09/19/18
Two months ago. Thanks, Mexico City!
alcoholic box office mood
  09/19/18
had surgery a couple years ago and was prescribed opioids. h...
Scarlet plaza
  09/19/18
that's probably not the opioids, which generally have a cons...
Appetizing Factory Reset Button
  09/19/18


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:20 PM
Author: Stimulating laser beams

Defined as requiring an underwear change.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837661)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:20 PM
Author: Sadistic area double fault

two days ago? does just after midnight count as the night prior or the morning of?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837669)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:21 PM
Author: Stimulating laser beams

Morning

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837682)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:22 PM
Author: Cerebral magical gaping

then yesterday

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837685)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:22 PM
Author: Stimulating laser beams

Ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837689)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:24 PM
Author: out-of-control boyish menage kitty cat

honestly did that with my now wife after a long bout of horrible food poisoning (violently ill flying home from park city, shit/puked 40+ times over three-four hours, probably lost ten pounds, they came very close to landing the plane thinking i had ebola or something).

woke up with a huge shit stain in her apartment after we thought the worst of it was over. she helped me gather up the sheets and scrub the mattress, and it was still pretty early in our relationship. wife material. brought me soup and took care of me for the rest of the day.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837703)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:30 PM
Author: Milky Center Cuck

jfc now thats a good woman

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837750)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:31 PM
Author: out-of-control boyish menage kitty cat

i remember getting really drunk a couple days later and thinking to myself "WOW" i should marry this one

one of those weird things i remember pretty clearly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837763)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:06 AM
Author: racy adulterous ticket booth

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838237)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:12 AM
Author: Peach Beady-eyed Home Toilet Seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838637)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: awkward lascivious party of the first part

this is my worst nightmare on a flight. I travel for business pretty regularly and have developed the habit of fasting on travel days just to avoid this sort of thing happening.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840663)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:26 PM
Author: aquamarine stage

very recently. was out jogging with no bathroom around and suddenly got the runs

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837727)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:33 PM
Author: Buff misunderstood corner kitty

i was coaching basketball.

i had a 7-11 coffee that, in retrospect, i realize was contaminated with bacteria.

i was in a suit, because i had to arrive straight from work, with the brief stop at 7-11 for some caffeine after a long day being my only interruption.

i am drinking my coffee as i run practice. an hour in, my stomach starts to rumble. i try to fight it off. 20 minutes later, it is 10 minutes before practice ends.

i can't fight it off any more.

i tell my assistant coach to wrap up practice. i'm not feeling well. some parents were watching, arriving early to pick up their kids, which adds to the embarrassment.

problem is, it was early in the season and i didn't know where the bathrooms were in the school we were assigned gym time.

i frantically run around in search of porcelain, but the clock is ticking. fast.

after about 45 seconds, i'm in trouble.

unable to locate a restroom, i sprint outside. it's dark. 9 pm.

cars are pulling up to pick up their children, the ones i'm entrusted with coaching.

i change my sprint to an extremely fast walk and, in a flurry of improvisation, decide to go in an alley toward the back of the school.

i drop my pants to shit on the blacktop, but it's already too late. it started forcing its way out seconds before. in my new suit.

i tear off a handful of grass and do my best to wipe. i get into my car, humiliated, and have to drive home. i was living with my parents temporarily at the time, so i knew the ignominy wasn't over.

and it sure wasn't.

i had left my dress coat inside the gym.

i had to call my assistant coach and have him bring my coat to my car. i tried barely cracking the driver's side door open.

but, let's face it, the stench was overwhelming. he slid me my coat between the thin space i had allowed, gagging upon reflex when it opened.

we never talked about it again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837787)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:35 PM
Author: henna locale

haha holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837803)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:43 PM
Author: Stimulating laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837846)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:49 PM
Author: drunken alpha

*claps* tytyty. this is why we come to XO

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837885)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:02 AM
Author: Buff misunderstood corner kitty

ty friend. means a lot.

i'm actually fairly proud i wrote this off the top of my head from a memory from a few years ago. not something i had prepared or saved or anything like that. but definitely not flame. 100% accurate.

i always assume i'm going early dementia. so it feels good to contribute to a high iq medium like xo & have a poaster appreciate it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838226)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:52 PM
Author: Milky Center Cuck

lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837901)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:53 PM
Author: Flirting Dopamine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837906)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:06 AM
Author: nubile bawdyhouse old irish cottage

literal lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838240)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:13 AM
Author: Buff misunderstood corner kitty

thanks, jim. means a lot coming from you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838264)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:21 AM
Author: nubile bawdyhouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838291)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 3:47 AM
Author: motley honey-headed spot prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838504)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:43 AM
Author: Dead Travel Guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838694)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 3:51 AM
Author: Primrose Parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838506)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:03 AM
Author: Titillating knife shrine

would read again.

just did. still good.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838621)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:39 PM
Author: Buff misunderstood corner kitty

ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840618)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:36 PM
Author: Galvanic People Who Are Hurt Hell

Better question: when's the last time I didn't?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837806)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:47 PM
Author: Curious Bespoke National

(George Brett)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837873)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:52 PM
Author: useless orchestra pit

Every time I drink more than a 12 pack

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837897)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:54 PM
Author: cracking bat-shit-crazy chapel boiling water

I sharted in my boxers like two weeks ago. It was the day after an international flight and I was all fucked up and tired and sickish. Luckily it was at my house/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837913)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:04 AM
Author: Self-centered newt tanning salon

oh that's nbd. most of us regularly shart

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838233)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:13 AM
Author: nubile bawdyhouse old irish cottage

Sharting happens more often than I would have thought.

Last full on shit my pants was August 17, 2016 - I have a pic and just looked it up. Story isn't remarkable (ordinary timing miscalculation) but it could have been if I wasn't at home. Ended up on the floor, on and around the toilet, and on my underwear, shorts, and socks. The shitty (hehe) part was that my wife was irritated with the kid that day so when I was begging for some help from our guest bathroom she either didn't hear me or ignored me, so I had to wrap a towel around myself and trudge up to our bathroom with a poopy ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838267)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:15 AM
Author: Buff misunderstood corner kitty

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838275)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 2:54 AM
Author: Appetizing Factory Reset Button

june or july 2015, but i was going commando at the time, so i guess it doesn't count

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838444)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:00 AM
Author: khaki big dilemma codepig

right now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838618)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:20 AM
Author: Titillating knife shrine

anytime i drink more than five drinks, and then walk over a block or two without first consuming some water, i think i have to fart but always got fooled by the dirty turtlehead shart.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838656)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:49 AM
Author: very tactful balding university

9 years ago. CLE for my group. Sitting around some conference room table in midtown listening to innane blather from some partner from another group. Didn't want to be rude by jumping up mid-speech and interrupt the autist's flow, so I let a fart quietly escape.

Sadly, the turtle followed his cough and I could feel the load in my shorts. As quickly as I could at the next pause, I ran to the bathroom. Shit had permeated my shorts and exuded through my suit pants. Threw the underwear in the garbage, put shit stained pants on and ran out of office.

took cab home, showered, changed, cab back to office. gone for no more than 20 mins. rejoined CLE like it was NBD. However I refused to sit in my old chair, as I knew shit had leaked through pants onto it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838706)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 11:24 AM
Author: nubile bawdyhouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36839912)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:22 PM
Author: Buff misunderstood corner kitty

1 fucking 80

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840444)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:44 PM
Author: awkward lascivious party of the first part

impressive work.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840660)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:41 PM
Author: awkward lascivious party of the first part

three years ago this November. duck hunting. I ate a granola bar and slammed a coffee on the way to the duck pond. felt the shit coming on as we waded out to our blind but figured I could hold it back until after we were done hunting. fast forward about an hour, just as first light is about to hit and ducks are going to start flying, I can't hold it back anymore. I announce to my hunting buddies that I'm either going to have to wade out and shit in the pond (which would probably scare off the ducks) or shit in my waders. unanimous vote that I should shit in my waders. we all limited out in an hour and a half, and I had to wear shit filled neoprene waders all the way back to the hunting lodge before being able to get myself cleaned up. the waders sealed everything in. I can't begin to describe the smell when I first peeled them off.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840646)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:02 PM
Author: Appetizing Factory Reset Button

should have just hung ass outside the blind and dropped the turd

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840807)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:05 PM
Author: awkward lascivious party of the first part

less a turd and more a shit spray

normally this would have been the move, but the timing was fucked. right at first light as flyers are starting to come in. the other 5 guys would have been pissed if I spooked the ducks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840821)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 10:56 PM
Author: Appetizing Factory Reset Button

should have hung ass out the top of the blind and sprayed shit into the air so it would simply evaporate

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845731)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 11:01 PM
Author: Stimulating laser beams

I can’t imagine any circumstances where I would not vote for a bro to shit his pants. It would be bro malpractice.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845778)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:42 PM
Author: cheese-eating floppy stead

month ago vomitted my intestines out and shit my pants simultaneously

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840649)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:46 PM
Author: alcoholic box office mood

Two months ago. Thanks, Mexico City!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840676)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:54 PM
Author: Scarlet plaza

had surgery a couple years ago and was prescribed opioids. had a very pathetic reaction to the pain meds and shit myself three times one night. my wife helped me throughout the night with such empathy that i didn't even feel embarrassed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36841171)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 10:55 PM
Author: Appetizing Factory Reset Button

that's probably not the opioids, which generally have a constipating effect. imodium, for instance, is an opioid agonist. did you get antibiotics as part of the surgery?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845715)