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POLL: when is the last time you shit your pants?

Defined as requiring an underwear change.
excitant amber degenerate
  09/18/18
two days ago? does just after midnight count as the night p...
Adventurous brunch
  09/18/18
Morning
excitant amber degenerate
  09/18/18
then yesterday
puce incel hell
  09/18/18
Ty
excitant amber degenerate
  09/18/18
honestly did that with my now wife after a long bout of horr...
canary vivacious home scourge upon the earth
  09/18/18
jfc now thats a good woman
Exciting pontificating organic girlfriend
  09/18/18
i remember getting really drunk a couple days later and thin...
canary vivacious home scourge upon the earth
  09/18/18
180
cracking red psychic base
  09/19/18
...
honey-headed indian lodge
  09/19/18
this is my worst nightmare on a flight. I travel for busines...
Umber Concupiscible Stage
  09/19/18
very recently. was out jogging with no bathroom around and s...
Overrated Glassy Associate
  09/18/18
i was coaching basketball. i had a 7-11 coffee that, in r...
Wonderful embarrassed to the bone stage
  09/18/18
haha holy shit
Vibrant office black woman
  09/18/18
...
excitant amber degenerate
  09/18/18
*claps* tytyty. this is why we come to XO
Orchid very tactful keepsake machete
  09/18/18
ty friend. means a lot. i'm actually fairly proud i wrote...
Wonderful embarrassed to the bone stage
  09/19/18
lmao
Exciting pontificating organic girlfriend
  09/18/18
...
coral orchestra pit
  09/18/18
literal lol
naked community account
  09/19/18
thanks, jim. means a lot coming from you.
Wonderful embarrassed to the bone stage
  09/19/18
...
naked community account
  09/19/18
...
Beta Histrionic Field Dopamine
  09/19/18
...
big-titted nibblets
  09/19/18
...
Lascivious Karate Elastic Band
  09/19/18
would read again. just did. still good.
Talented temple
  09/19/18
ty
Wonderful embarrassed to the bone stage
  09/19/18
Better question: when's the last time I didn't?
cyan police squad
  09/18/18
(George Brett)
appetizing station mediation
  09/18/18
Every time I drink more than a 12 pack
Sepia thriller dragon french chef
  09/18/18
I sharted in my boxers like two weeks ago. It was the day af...
Navy striped hyena tanning salon
  09/18/18
oh that's nbd. most of us regularly shart
titillating erotic step-uncle's house water buffalo
  09/19/18
Sharting happens more often than I would have thought. La...
naked community account
  09/19/18
180
Wonderful embarrassed to the bone stage
  09/19/18
june or july 2015, but i was going commando at the time, so ...
Twinkling Glittery Garrison Sound Barrier
  09/19/18
right now
sickened nursing home
  09/19/18
anytime i drink more than five drinks, and then walk over a ...
Talented temple
  09/19/18
9 years ago. CLE for my group. Sitting around some conferenc...
Fragrant clown
  09/19/18
...
naked community account
  09/19/18
1 fucking 80
Wonderful embarrassed to the bone stage
  09/19/18
impressive work.
Umber Concupiscible Stage
  09/19/18
three years ago this November. duck hunting. I ate a granola...
Umber Concupiscible Stage
  09/19/18
should have just hung ass outside the blind and dropped the ...
Twinkling Glittery Garrison Sound Barrier
  09/19/18
less a turd and more a shit spray normally this would hav...
Umber Concupiscible Stage
  09/19/18
should have hung ass out the top of the blind and sprayed sh...
Twinkling Glittery Garrison Sound Barrier
  09/19/18
I can’t imagine any circumstances where I would not vote for...
excitant amber degenerate
  09/19/18
month ago vomitted my intestines out and shit my pants simul...
jet yapping mexican really tough guy
  09/19/18
Two months ago. Thanks, Mexico City!
Multi-colored people who are hurt
  09/19/18
had surgery a couple years ago and was prescribed opioids. h...
vigorous poppy love of her life
  09/19/18
that's probably not the opioids, which generally have a cons...
Twinkling Glittery Garrison Sound Barrier
  09/19/18


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:20 PM
Author: excitant amber degenerate

Defined as requiring an underwear change.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837661)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:20 PM
Author: Adventurous brunch

two days ago? does just after midnight count as the night prior or the morning of?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837669)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:21 PM
Author: excitant amber degenerate

Morning

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837682)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:22 PM
Author: puce incel hell

then yesterday

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837685)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:22 PM
Author: excitant amber degenerate

Ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837689)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:24 PM
Author: canary vivacious home scourge upon the earth

honestly did that with my now wife after a long bout of horrible food poisoning (violently ill flying home from park city, shit/puked 40+ times over three-four hours, probably lost ten pounds, they came very close to landing the plane thinking i had ebola or something).

woke up with a huge shit stain in her apartment after we thought the worst of it was over. she helped me gather up the sheets and scrub the mattress, and it was still pretty early in our relationship. wife material. brought me soup and took care of me for the rest of the day.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837703)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:30 PM
Author: Exciting pontificating organic girlfriend

jfc now thats a good woman

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837750)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:31 PM
Author: canary vivacious home scourge upon the earth

i remember getting really drunk a couple days later and thinking to myself "WOW" i should marry this one

one of those weird things i remember pretty clearly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837763)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:06 AM
Author: cracking red psychic base

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838237)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:12 AM
Author: honey-headed indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838637)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Umber Concupiscible Stage

this is my worst nightmare on a flight. I travel for business pretty regularly and have developed the habit of fasting on travel days just to avoid this sort of thing happening.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840663)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:26 PM
Author: Overrated Glassy Associate

very recently. was out jogging with no bathroom around and suddenly got the runs

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837727)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:33 PM
Author: Wonderful embarrassed to the bone stage

i was coaching basketball.

i had a 7-11 coffee that, in retrospect, i realize was contaminated with bacteria.

i was in a suit, because i had to arrive straight from work, with the brief stop at 7-11 for some caffeine after a long day being my only interruption.

i am drinking my coffee as i run practice. an hour in, my stomach starts to rumble. i try to fight it off. 20 minutes later, it is 10 minutes before practice ends.

i can't fight it off any more.

i tell my assistant coach to wrap up practice. i'm not feeling well. some parents were watching, arriving early to pick up their kids, which adds to the embarrassment.

problem is, it was early in the season and i didn't know where the bathrooms were in the school we were assigned gym time.

i frantically run around in search of porcelain, but the clock is ticking. fast.

after about 45 seconds, i'm in trouble.

unable to locate a restroom, i sprint outside. it's dark. 9 pm.

cars are pulling up to pick up their children, the ones i'm entrusted with coaching.

i change my sprint to an extremely fast walk and, in a flurry of improvisation, decide to go in an alley toward the back of the school.

i drop my pants to shit on the blacktop, but it's already too late. it started forcing its way out seconds before. in my new suit.

i tear off a handful of grass and do my best to wipe. i get into my car, humiliated, and have to drive home. i was living with my parents temporarily at the time, so i knew the ignominy wasn't over.

and it sure wasn't.

i had left my dress coat inside the gym.

i had to call my assistant coach and have him bring my coat to my car. i tried barely cracking the driver's side door open.

but, let's face it, the stench was overwhelming. he slid me my coat between the thin space i had allowed, gagging upon reflex when it opened.

we never talked about it again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837787)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:35 PM
Author: Vibrant office black woman

haha holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837803)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:43 PM
Author: excitant amber degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837846)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:49 PM
Author: Orchid very tactful keepsake machete

*claps* tytyty. this is why we come to XO

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837885)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:02 AM
Author: Wonderful embarrassed to the bone stage

ty friend. means a lot.

i'm actually fairly proud i wrote this off the top of my head from a memory from a few years ago. not something i had prepared or saved or anything like that. but definitely not flame. 100% accurate.

i always assume i'm going early dementia. so it feels good to contribute to a high iq medium like xo & have a poaster appreciate it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838226)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:52 PM
Author: Exciting pontificating organic girlfriend

lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837901)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:53 PM
Author: coral orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837906)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:06 AM
Author: naked community account

literal lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838240)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:13 AM
Author: Wonderful embarrassed to the bone stage

thanks, jim. means a lot coming from you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838264)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:21 AM
Author: naked community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838291)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 3:47 AM
Author: Beta Histrionic Field Dopamine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838504)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:43 AM
Author: big-titted nibblets



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838694)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 3:51 AM
Author: Lascivious Karate Elastic Band



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838506)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:03 AM
Author: Talented temple

would read again.

just did. still good.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838621)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:39 PM
Author: Wonderful embarrassed to the bone stage

ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840618)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:36 PM
Author: cyan police squad

Better question: when's the last time I didn't?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837806)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:47 PM
Author: appetizing station mediation

(George Brett)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837873)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:52 PM
Author: Sepia thriller dragon french chef

Every time I drink more than a 12 pack

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837897)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:54 PM
Author: Navy striped hyena tanning salon

I sharted in my boxers like two weeks ago. It was the day after an international flight and I was all fucked up and tired and sickish. Luckily it was at my house/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837913)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:04 AM
Author: titillating erotic step-uncle's house water buffalo

oh that's nbd. most of us regularly shart

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838233)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:13 AM
Author: naked community account

Sharting happens more often than I would have thought.

Last full on shit my pants was August 17, 2016 - I have a pic and just looked it up. Story isn't remarkable (ordinary timing miscalculation) but it could have been if I wasn't at home. Ended up on the floor, on and around the toilet, and on my underwear, shorts, and socks. The shitty (hehe) part was that my wife was irritated with the kid that day so when I was begging for some help from our guest bathroom she either didn't hear me or ignored me, so I had to wrap a towel around myself and trudge up to our bathroom with a poopy ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838267)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:15 AM
Author: Wonderful embarrassed to the bone stage

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838275)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 2:54 AM
Author: Twinkling Glittery Garrison Sound Barrier

june or july 2015, but i was going commando at the time, so i guess it doesn't count

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838444)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:00 AM
Author: sickened nursing home

right now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838618)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:20 AM
Author: Talented temple

anytime i drink more than five drinks, and then walk over a block or two without first consuming some water, i think i have to fart but always got fooled by the dirty turtlehead shart.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838656)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:49 AM
Author: Fragrant clown

9 years ago. CLE for my group. Sitting around some conference room table in midtown listening to innane blather from some partner from another group. Didn't want to be rude by jumping up mid-speech and interrupt the autist's flow, so I let a fart quietly escape.

Sadly, the turtle followed his cough and I could feel the load in my shorts. As quickly as I could at the next pause, I ran to the bathroom. Shit had permeated my shorts and exuded through my suit pants. Threw the underwear in the garbage, put shit stained pants on and ran out of office.

took cab home, showered, changed, cab back to office. gone for no more than 20 mins. rejoined CLE like it was NBD. However I refused to sit in my old chair, as I knew shit had leaked through pants onto it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838706)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 11:24 AM
Author: naked community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36839912)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:22 PM
Author: Wonderful embarrassed to the bone stage

1 fucking 80

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840444)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:44 PM
Author: Umber Concupiscible Stage

impressive work.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840660)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:41 PM
Author: Umber Concupiscible Stage

three years ago this November. duck hunting. I ate a granola bar and slammed a coffee on the way to the duck pond. felt the shit coming on as we waded out to our blind but figured I could hold it back until after we were done hunting. fast forward about an hour, just as first light is about to hit and ducks are going to start flying, I can't hold it back anymore. I announce to my hunting buddies that I'm either going to have to wade out and shit in the pond (which would probably scare off the ducks) or shit in my waders. unanimous vote that I should shit in my waders. we all limited out in an hour and a half, and I had to wear shit filled neoprene waders all the way back to the hunting lodge before being able to get myself cleaned up. the waders sealed everything in. I can't begin to describe the smell when I first peeled them off.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840646)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:02 PM
Author: Twinkling Glittery Garrison Sound Barrier

should have just hung ass outside the blind and dropped the turd

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840807)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:05 PM
Author: Umber Concupiscible Stage

less a turd and more a shit spray

normally this would have been the move, but the timing was fucked. right at first light as flyers are starting to come in. the other 5 guys would have been pissed if I spooked the ducks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840821)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 10:56 PM
Author: Twinkling Glittery Garrison Sound Barrier

should have hung ass out the top of the blind and sprayed shit into the air so it would simply evaporate

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845731)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 11:01 PM
Author: excitant amber degenerate

I can’t imagine any circumstances where I would not vote for a bro to shit his pants. It would be bro malpractice.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845778)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:42 PM
Author: jet yapping mexican really tough guy

month ago vomitted my intestines out and shit my pants simultaneously

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840649)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:46 PM
Author: Multi-colored people who are hurt

Two months ago. Thanks, Mexico City!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840676)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:54 PM
Author: vigorous poppy love of her life

had surgery a couple years ago and was prescribed opioids. had a very pathetic reaction to the pain meds and shit myself three times one night. my wife helped me throughout the night with such empathy that i didn't even feel embarrassed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36841171)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 10:55 PM
Author: Twinkling Glittery Garrison Sound Barrier

that's probably not the opioids, which generally have a constipating effect. imodium, for instance, is an opioid agonist. did you get antibiotics as part of the surgery?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845715)