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POLL: when is the last time you shit your pants?

Defined as requiring an underwear change.
Crystalline temple
  09/18/18
two days ago? does just after midnight count as the night p...
Jet milk
  09/18/18
Morning
Crystalline temple
  09/18/18
then yesterday
Pontificating Faggot Firefighter
  09/18/18
Ty
Crystalline temple
  09/18/18
honestly did that with my now wife after a long bout of horr...
high-end dashing pit
  09/18/18
jfc now thats a good woman
hateful hyperventilating telephone bawdyhouse
  09/18/18
i remember getting really drunk a couple days later and thin...
high-end dashing pit
  09/18/18
180
Heady institution
  09/19/18
...
charismatic burgundy home
  09/19/18
this is my worst nightmare on a flight. I travel for busines...
Azure community account
  09/19/18
very recently. was out jogging with no bathroom around and s...
racy mustard plaza shitlib
  09/18/18
i was coaching basketball. i had a 7-11 coffee that, in r...
Deep sanctuary patrolman
  09/18/18
haha holy shit
cocky market queen of the night
  09/18/18
...
Crystalline temple
  09/18/18
*claps* tytyty. this is why we come to XO
Irate nubile kitchen
  09/18/18
ty friend. means a lot. i'm actually fairly proud i wrote...
Deep sanctuary patrolman
  09/19/18
lmao
hateful hyperventilating telephone bawdyhouse
  09/18/18
...
clear filthy hall
  09/18/18
literal lol
cracking buck-toothed corn cake
  09/19/18
thanks, jim. means a lot coming from you.
Deep sanctuary patrolman
  09/19/18
...
cracking buck-toothed corn cake
  09/19/18
...
idiotic cuckold cuck
  09/19/18
...
frisky police squad property
  09/19/18
...
Hideous electric furnace
  09/19/18
would read again. just did. still good.
Talented maroon international law enforcement agency
  09/19/18
ty
Deep sanctuary patrolman
  09/19/18
Better question: when's the last time I didn't?
wonderful therapy
  09/18/18
(George Brett)
Silver theater
  09/18/18
Every time I drink more than a 12 pack
sickened lodge digit ratio
  09/18/18
I sharted in my boxers like two weeks ago. It was the day af...
Yapping crotch orchestra pit
  09/18/18
oh that's nbd. most of us regularly shart
navy place of business chapel
  09/19/18
Sharting happens more often than I would have thought. La...
cracking buck-toothed corn cake
  09/19/18
180
Deep sanctuary patrolman
  09/19/18
june or july 2015, but i was going commando at the time, so ...
Dull organic girlfriend
  09/19/18
right now
Black chest-beating mad cow disease
  09/19/18
anytime i drink more than five drinks, and then walk over a ...
Talented maroon international law enforcement agency
  09/19/18
9 years ago. CLE for my group. Sitting around some conferenc...
Shimmering locale
  09/19/18
...
cracking buck-toothed corn cake
  09/19/18
1 fucking 80
Deep sanctuary patrolman
  09/19/18
impressive work.
Azure community account
  09/19/18
three years ago this November. duck hunting. I ate a granola...
Azure community account
  09/19/18
should have just hung ass outside the blind and dropped the ...
Dull organic girlfriend
  09/19/18
less a turd and more a shit spray normally this would hav...
Azure community account
  09/19/18
should have hung ass out the top of the blind and sprayed sh...
Dull organic girlfriend
  09/19/18
I can’t imagine any circumstances where I would not vote for...
Crystalline temple
  09/19/18
month ago vomitted my intestines out and shit my pants simul...
fluffy marvelous address alpha
  09/19/18
Two months ago. Thanks, Mexico City!
Lilac business firm sex offender
  09/19/18
had surgery a couple years ago and was prescribed opioids. h...
Cobalt stimulating box office affirmative action
  09/19/18
that's probably not the opioids, which generally have a cons...
Dull organic girlfriend
  09/19/18


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:20 PM
Author: Crystalline temple

Defined as requiring an underwear change.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837661)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:20 PM
Author: Jet milk

two days ago? does just after midnight count as the night prior or the morning of?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837669)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:21 PM
Author: Crystalline temple

Morning

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837682)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:22 PM
Author: Pontificating Faggot Firefighter

then yesterday

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837685)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:22 PM
Author: Crystalline temple

Ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837689)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:24 PM
Author: high-end dashing pit

honestly did that with my now wife after a long bout of horrible food poisoning (violently ill flying home from park city, shit/puked 40+ times over three-four hours, probably lost ten pounds, they came very close to landing the plane thinking i had ebola or something).

woke up with a huge shit stain in her apartment after we thought the worst of it was over. she helped me gather up the sheets and scrub the mattress, and it was still pretty early in our relationship. wife material. brought me soup and took care of me for the rest of the day.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837703)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:30 PM
Author: hateful hyperventilating telephone bawdyhouse

jfc now thats a good woman

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837750)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:31 PM
Author: high-end dashing pit

i remember getting really drunk a couple days later and thinking to myself "WOW" i should marry this one

one of those weird things i remember pretty clearly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837763)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:06 AM
Author: Heady institution

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838237)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:12 AM
Author: charismatic burgundy home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838637)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Azure community account

this is my worst nightmare on a flight. I travel for business pretty regularly and have developed the habit of fasting on travel days just to avoid this sort of thing happening.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840663)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:26 PM
Author: racy mustard plaza shitlib

very recently. was out jogging with no bathroom around and suddenly got the runs

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837727)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:33 PM
Author: Deep sanctuary patrolman

i was coaching basketball.

i had a 7-11 coffee that, in retrospect, i realize was contaminated with bacteria.

i was in a suit, because i had to arrive straight from work, with the brief stop at 7-11 for some caffeine after a long day being my only interruption.

i am drinking my coffee as i run practice. an hour in, my stomach starts to rumble. i try to fight it off. 20 minutes later, it is 10 minutes before practice ends.

i can't fight it off any more.

i tell my assistant coach to wrap up practice. i'm not feeling well. some parents were watching, arriving early to pick up their kids, which adds to the embarrassment.

problem is, it was early in the season and i didn't know where the bathrooms were in the school we were assigned gym time.

i frantically run around in search of porcelain, but the clock is ticking. fast.

after about 45 seconds, i'm in trouble.

unable to locate a restroom, i sprint outside. it's dark. 9 pm.

cars are pulling up to pick up their children, the ones i'm entrusted with coaching.

i change my sprint to an extremely fast walk and, in a flurry of improvisation, decide to go in an alley toward the back of the school.

i drop my pants to shit on the blacktop, but it's already too late. it started forcing its way out seconds before. in my new suit.

i tear off a handful of grass and do my best to wipe. i get into my car, humiliated, and have to drive home. i was living with my parents temporarily at the time, so i knew the ignominy wasn't over.

and it sure wasn't.

i had left my dress coat inside the gym.

i had to call my assistant coach and have him bring my coat to my car. i tried barely cracking the driver's side door open.

but, let's face it, the stench was overwhelming. he slid me my coat between the thin space i had allowed, gagging upon reflex when it opened.

we never talked about it again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837787)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:35 PM
Author: cocky market queen of the night

haha holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837803)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:43 PM
Author: Crystalline temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837846)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:49 PM
Author: Irate nubile kitchen

*claps* tytyty. this is why we come to XO

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837885)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:02 AM
Author: Deep sanctuary patrolman

ty friend. means a lot.

i'm actually fairly proud i wrote this off the top of my head from a memory from a few years ago. not something i had prepared or saved or anything like that. but definitely not flame. 100% accurate.

i always assume i'm going early dementia. so it feels good to contribute to a high iq medium like xo & have a poaster appreciate it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838226)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:52 PM
Author: hateful hyperventilating telephone bawdyhouse

lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837901)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:53 PM
Author: clear filthy hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837906)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:06 AM
Author: cracking buck-toothed corn cake

literal lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838240)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:13 AM
Author: Deep sanctuary patrolman

thanks, jim. means a lot coming from you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838264)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:21 AM
Author: cracking buck-toothed corn cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838291)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 3:47 AM
Author: idiotic cuckold cuck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838504)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:43 AM
Author: frisky police squad property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838694)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 3:51 AM
Author: Hideous electric furnace



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838506)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:03 AM
Author: Talented maroon international law enforcement agency

would read again.

just did. still good.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838621)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:39 PM
Author: Deep sanctuary patrolman

ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840618)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:36 PM
Author: wonderful therapy

Better question: when's the last time I didn't?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837806)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:47 PM
Author: Silver theater

(George Brett)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837873)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:52 PM
Author: sickened lodge digit ratio

Every time I drink more than a 12 pack

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837897)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2018 11:54 PM
Author: Yapping crotch orchestra pit

I sharted in my boxers like two weeks ago. It was the day after an international flight and I was all fucked up and tired and sickish. Luckily it was at my house/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36837913)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:04 AM
Author: navy place of business chapel

oh that's nbd. most of us regularly shart

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838233)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:13 AM
Author: cracking buck-toothed corn cake

Sharting happens more often than I would have thought.

Last full on shit my pants was August 17, 2016 - I have a pic and just looked it up. Story isn't remarkable (ordinary timing miscalculation) but it could have been if I wasn't at home. Ended up on the floor, on and around the toilet, and on my underwear, shorts, and socks. The shitty (hehe) part was that my wife was irritated with the kid that day so when I was begging for some help from our guest bathroom she either didn't hear me or ignored me, so I had to wrap a towel around myself and trudge up to our bathroom with a poopy ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838267)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:15 AM
Author: Deep sanctuary patrolman

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838275)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 2:54 AM
Author: Dull organic girlfriend

june or july 2015, but i was going commando at the time, so i guess it doesn't count

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838444)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:00 AM
Author: Black chest-beating mad cow disease

right now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838618)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:20 AM
Author: Talented maroon international law enforcement agency

anytime i drink more than five drinks, and then walk over a block or two without first consuming some water, i think i have to fart but always got fooled by the dirty turtlehead shart.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838656)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 6:49 AM
Author: Shimmering locale

9 years ago. CLE for my group. Sitting around some conference room table in midtown listening to innane blather from some partner from another group. Didn't want to be rude by jumping up mid-speech and interrupt the autist's flow, so I let a fart quietly escape.

Sadly, the turtle followed his cough and I could feel the load in my shorts. As quickly as I could at the next pause, I ran to the bathroom. Shit had permeated my shorts and exuded through my suit pants. Threw the underwear in the garbage, put shit stained pants on and ran out of office.

took cab home, showered, changed, cab back to office. gone for no more than 20 mins. rejoined CLE like it was NBD. However I refused to sit in my old chair, as I knew shit had leaked through pants onto it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36838706)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 11:24 AM
Author: cracking buck-toothed corn cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36839912)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:22 PM
Author: Deep sanctuary patrolman

1 fucking 80

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840444)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:44 PM
Author: Azure community account

impressive work.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840660)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:41 PM
Author: Azure community account

three years ago this November. duck hunting. I ate a granola bar and slammed a coffee on the way to the duck pond. felt the shit coming on as we waded out to our blind but figured I could hold it back until after we were done hunting. fast forward about an hour, just as first light is about to hit and ducks are going to start flying, I can't hold it back anymore. I announce to my hunting buddies that I'm either going to have to wade out and shit in the pond (which would probably scare off the ducks) or shit in my waders. unanimous vote that I should shit in my waders. we all limited out in an hour and a half, and I had to wear shit filled neoprene waders all the way back to the hunting lodge before being able to get myself cleaned up. the waders sealed everything in. I can't begin to describe the smell when I first peeled them off.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840646)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:02 PM
Author: Dull organic girlfriend

should have just hung ass outside the blind and dropped the turd

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840807)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:05 PM
Author: Azure community account

less a turd and more a shit spray

normally this would have been the move, but the timing was fucked. right at first light as flyers are starting to come in. the other 5 guys would have been pissed if I spooked the ducks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840821)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 10:56 PM
Author: Dull organic girlfriend

should have hung ass out the top of the blind and sprayed shit into the air so it would simply evaporate

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845731)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 11:01 PM
Author: Crystalline temple

I can’t imagine any circumstances where I would not vote for a bro to shit his pants. It would be bro malpractice.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845778)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:42 PM
Author: fluffy marvelous address alpha

month ago vomitted my intestines out and shit my pants simultaneously

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840649)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 12:46 PM
Author: Lilac business firm sex offender

Two months ago. Thanks, Mexico City!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36840676)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 1:54 PM
Author: Cobalt stimulating box office affirmative action

had surgery a couple years ago and was prescribed opioids. had a very pathetic reaction to the pain meds and shit myself three times one night. my wife helped me throughout the night with such empathy that i didn't even feel embarrassed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36841171)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2018 10:55 PM
Author: Dull organic girlfriend

that's probably not the opioids, which generally have a constipating effect. imodium, for instance, is an opioid agonist. did you get antibiotics as part of the surgery?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4080945&forum_id=2#36845715)