EDIT: I guess this is similar.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4131895&forum_id=2#37223227)

as an aside, i think this issue is far, far more widespread in modern western men than anyone is willing to admit. we complain about the corruption of modern women a lot, but madonna-whore complex is at epidemic levels in western men at this point. the fact that you brought up the above as a "solution" to this is a pretty good example (not trying to pick on you, i promise!)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4131895&forum_id=2#37223219)

The mountain heights he remembers get bigger and bigger:

With the finest of mapping pens he fondly traces

All the family names on the familiar places.

In a green pasture straying, he walks by still waters;

Surely a swan he seems to earth's unwise daughters,

Bending a beautiful head, worshipping not lying,

"Dear" the dear beak in the dear concha crying.

Under the trees the summer bands were playing;

"Dear boy, be brave as these roots," he heard them saying:

Carries the good news gladly to a world in danger,

Is ready to argue, he smiles, with any stranger.

And yet this prophet, homing the day is ended,

Receives odd welcome from the country he so defended:

The band roars "Coward, Coward," in his human fever,

The giantess shuffles nearer, cries "Deceiver".

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4131895&forum_id=2#37223214)

This is wanting raunchy kinky as fuck sex with some absolute slore that will completely debase herself for you

Meanwhile inwardly being completely fucking disgusted at your wife/mother of your children if she's willing to gape her asshole for you with a dildo while you fuck her

You want an angel for a wife that will raise your children properly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4131895&forum_id=2#37223225)

It's not like her making me feel good would make her any less of a good wife or mother in my eyes. If anything it would make it better since she was attuned to my needs in the family as well.

In my mind that issue would only arise in the context of others (either before the marriage, or during the marriage say if we involved other people in the bedroom).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4131895&forum_id=2#37223250)

if my LTR is greedily eating my asshole to make me feel good, why would that not jive with my internal image of her? my internal image of her is someone i care about who wants to make me feel good.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4131895&forum_id=2#37223399)

My problem is that feminism has warped the minds of intelligent girls and has told them to put their careers ahead of having kids or raising a family.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4131895&forum_id=2#37223422)

i'm only aroused when a woman is being completely degraded... the concept of sexually 'healthy' mutuality is alien to me. but i don't want to do that to any woman i actually *like*, because then i would be disgusted by her.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4131895&forum_id=2#37223265)

Stay tuned for the next episode of Great Breakthroughs By The Internet Intelligentsia

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4131895&forum_id=2#37223590)

It might be said that it is easier to develop love where there is desire than to foster desire where there is love for we can more readily obtain, and encourage, that type of platonic and familial love, than we can find deep and raw sexual attraction where there is little to none on the surface. Indeed, that surface attraction - that erection you get just from noticing the well proportioned lower-half of her body in too tight jeans, cannot actually be cultivated.

Too many men, hoodwinked by society and their family to believe that their partner must fit some arbitrary set of parameters (well-educated at the right schools, of a particular family and community, interested in consuming the same types of films, reading the same books, etc.,) miss the point completely. That is not where true love comes from. It comes from the bottom up, so to speak. It actually starts from lust and not the other way around.

If you couldn't resist the temptation to masturbate to the thought of your wife when you first met - you are almost certainly with the wrong person. There is nothing wrong with her and nothing wrong with you - not the least of which is some ill-contrived "disorder" about finding love and lust mutually exclusive - there is something wrong about your chemistry together.

The Madonna-Whore Complex speaks to something legitimate, however: that men make the mistake of pursuing women who they do not actually find sexually attractive. Pretty and attractive even, sure. But they make excuses, and tell themselves lies without even realizing it, about what it is they actually desire and why they can't have it, or why the women they do desire do not make for suitable mates. The truth is, you cannot start from acceptability. You must start from that irrational need to explode inside a woman and take it from there because that is the only thing from which real sustainable romantic love can spring forth. It is why you possess this biological impulse to want to fuck these women in the first place - it's a starting point for everything meaningful in life (partnership, children, family, etc.,) whose significance you have most likely ignored for most of your life. You are thinking about it all wrong.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4131895&forum_id=2#37700894)

madonna-whore complex is the cognitive dissonance between desiring a woman as a strictly sexual object, and loving and respecting her as a full person and companion. a man can (and usually does) start with both of these simultaneous feelings for a woman, but over time we gravitate toward one end of the continuum or the other because the cognitive dissonance of these contradictory feelings is too difficult to bear. it's what ends up sabotaging most healthy relationships

the only dudes i've ever met who "solved" this conundrum turn out to be lying about still being sexually enamored by their wife or gf, or are sociopaths who don't actually love and care about their wife/gf to begin with and so they don't have the cognitive dissonance issue

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4131895&forum_id=2#37701402)

I know what the Madonna Whore complex is and my argument is that men who repeatedly endure it are not weighing heavily enough, at the onset of a relationship, that physical component; sexual chemistry is the most important thing and if you start from there, and hold yourself to a high enough standard (e.g. turns you on so much you can't help but jerk off to her), you are more likely to be able to maintain that lust once you emotionally invest in her.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4131895&forum_id=2#37701652)