Women Just Aren’t Funny

By Ginny HoganMarch 1, 2018

I hate to say it, but I don’t think women are funny. Hear me out, though—I have a good reason. I once went to a comedy show, and there was one woman who performed and she didn’t do well. I mean, sure, the audience members were all drunk men yelling at her to take her top off, but she did not make me laugh. It’s true that I did go to the bathroom about fifteen seconds into her set, but still. Meanwhile, of the eight men in the show’s lineup, one of them did do well. So I can’t say that men aren’t funny when I have a clear example of a man who was funny, can I?

There was only one girl in my college math classes, and she wasn’t the best in the class. I’d say she was kind of middle-of-the-pack. I hate to think that I’m the sort of guy who believes that women can’t do math, but, honestly, she wasn’t that good at math, so I guess women aren’t good at math. It’s sad, but also it’s what the research suggests. If there were more women in the class who had been good at math, then maybe I’d believe that women were good at math. But there weren’t. She also wasn’t that hot.

I don’t want you to think that I’m some sort of sexist, O.K.? I voted for Hillary Clinton, I’ll have you know. And it’s really a bummer that she lost. I guess women just can’t run successful Presidential campaigns, as proven by the one woman who was once on the ticket in one general election in our nation’s two-hundred-and-fifty-year history.

I met a woman who couldn’t walk. She was in a wheelchair. And, as I was staring at her, I got to thinking about how depressing it is that women can’t walk. I mean, men walk great, and it’s a really fun thing to do. Also, it helps you get places. Like, for example, walking helps me get downstairs to greet my weed dealer. If I couldn’t walk, he’d have to come upstairs. But seeing that one woman that one time who couldn’t walk made me realize that women in general weren’t meant to walk. Their brains just aren’t wired that way!

Recently, I was volunteering at an animal shelter, because I’m a really good person and I have court-mandated community service. The first dog I had to walk was a female dog—a real bitch, am I right? You see, I’m not saying “bitch” to be sexist; I’m saying “bitch” because it’s the technical term for a female dog. I would never call a woman a bitch. Anyway, as I was walking this bitch, I got to thinking, This dog is a woman. And it’s a dog. Are all women dogs? Look, I just don’t have time to meet all three and a half billion (human) women on the planet, so I have to base my judgments about all women on that one woman I saw that one time. And she was a dog.

Next, I encountered a woman who didn’t want to have sex with me, and I thought, “Do all women not want to have sex with me?” But then I realized, no, it was definitely just that one woman. She doesn’t speak for all women! One single woman can’t possibly represent the entire global population of women. You can’t just meet one woman with one opinion and, based on a single thing she says, extrapolate about an entire gender. I’m sure almost all women want to have sex with me, and she was just a strange outlier.

Ginny Hogan’s forthcoming book, “Toxic Femininity in the Workplace,” is due out in the fall.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/women-just-arent-funny

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4327794&forum_id=2#38720442)

SPEECH KIDS: A competitive all-girls high school speech team strives to defeat their opponents at a weekend tournament. They are surrounded by almost all boys, and their romantic feelings often get in the way of their desire to win.

WOMEN BY DESIGN: A female ex-software engineer runs a consultancy to teach women how to act like men to get ahead in the male-dominated tech industry. Over time, she decides she's doing them a disservice and instead begins a revolution to 'disrupt' corporate culture and sexism in Silicon Valley.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4327794&forum_id=2#38720458)

Talented humorist Ginny Hogan explores themes of sexism, workplace gender dynamics, and the challenges facing women at work (particularly in STEM fields) with disarming wit. Toxic Femininity includes fun short pieces (such as, “I'm Not A Sexist; I Also Ask My Male Colleagues If They’re Menstruating” and “How Silicon Valley Created The Perfect Meritocracy If You Specifically Happen To Be A Young, Straight, Well-Educated White Man”), true-false and multiple choice quizzes (including: “Are You Too Aggressive, or "Are You Politely Stating Your Opinion?” and Are You a True Feminist, a Male Feminist, a Feminist Just to Get Laid, or a Loaf of Bread?”), and even some surrealist essays (such as “A Woman From The Year 3018 Visits a Tech Startup” and “The Noise-Canceling Headphone’s Lament”). Toxic Femininity is a book that can be enjoyed in little sips or in one long drink.

The variety of the pieces and the illustrations make a lovely and gifty package—this product is perfect for a mentor encouraging her mentees, a big sister preparing her little sister for the work place, or shoring up your best friend after a rough day.

A conversation piece as much as a gift, the humorous nature of the work makes it possible to face topics that can be difficult to tackle head on; and we hope that this book will be able to serve not just as a gift but as a jumping off point for those hard-to have conversations that are a part of every work place environment.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4327794&forum_id=2#38720492)

it must be so much fun to get up every day and fart out another ludicrous essay on WOMEN CODERS, and UMC WOMYN'S OPRESSION, and TEH PATRIARCHY, and have the world gush, and your birth control subsidized, and your meals paid for, and the whole of society tilted in your favor to pamper and coddle your mediocrity.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4327794&forum_id=2#38720484)