\
  The most prestigious law school admissions discussion board in the world.
BackRefresh Options Favorite

Got AMOG’d by 6’8” security guard at Whole Foods

I eat at Whole Foods a few times a week and they recently hi...
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/15/19
What's his moniker haha
Hairraiser mauve boistinker party of the first part
  12/15/19
is your wife gonna suck his dick?
Onyx native
  12/15/19
*again
Obsidian stubborn dragon
  12/15/19
...
indigo mildly autistic library idiot
  12/15/19
Proles might show up and disrupt the aesthetic for Liberals ...
Hairraiser mauve boistinker party of the first part
  12/15/19
It’s ghetto adjacent and right off a freeway exit. Th...
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/15/19
...
indigo mildly autistic library idiot
  12/15/19
i'm guessing your repertoire failed you as you envisioned wh...
razzle-dazzle forum boltzmann
  12/15/19
Where did I say he didn’t fuck my wife?
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/15/19
where did I say he didn't? my plan won't stop your wife from...
razzle-dazzle forum boltzmann
  12/15/19
...
Appetizing Slate Kitty Plaza
  01/28/20
Oh yeah, well the jerk store called and looks like THEY'RE r...
slimy base pistol
  11/22/22
good poast
sick insane school cafeteria
  12/15/19
...
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/15/19
Great content creation. Would read again.
medicated corn cake
  12/16/19
...
self-centered confused nursing home
  01/27/20
...
buck-toothed theatre blood rage
  01/28/20
you weren’t carrying?
coral bateful area international law enforcement agency
  12/16/19
no
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/16/19
...
Mustard fantasy-prone corner
  12/16/19
He's not there anymore.
Exhilarant trust fund
  01/27/20
Probably working at Bezos DC house
pale deranged therapy temple
  01/27/20
"he was standing there twirling a butterfly knife"...
Marvelous crackhouse
  01/27/20
security guards at my whole foods twirl butterfly knives all...
bearded gaming laptop
  01/27/20
...
Marvelous crackhouse
  01/27/20
...
Bipolar jap karate
  01/27/20
...
self-centered confused nursing home
  01/27/20
It was like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spzT8tRCc2...
Exhilarant trust fund
  01/28/20
I bet Cornpop would stay away after seeing that
pale deranged therapy temple
  01/28/20
That's what he was doing. I live in a red state, but this d...
Exhilarant trust fund
  01/28/20
Only way to save face there would be to dismissively say &qu...
bearded gaming laptop
  01/27/20
The only way to save face was to apologize and admit I was w...
Exhilarant trust fund
  01/04/22
...and the whole store started clapping.
Gaped Toilet Seat
  01/27/20
How’s California
charismatic fanboi selfie
  01/28/20
i transcended getting mogged. hasn't happened for a long tim...
Lavender Comical Doctorate Locale
  01/28/20
Seems like he could teach you a thing about knife control ha...
pale deranged therapy temple
  12/30/20
oh hell yeah
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/31/20
He still works there, btw. Crazy.
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/31/20
He's working there right now. Dude must have no motivation.
Exhilarant trust fund
  02/05/21
The security guards name was albert einstein
histrionic hall
  02/05/21
To everyone who ever doubted me: He STILL works there, he&r...
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/30/21
kinda gay to be taking pictures of guys
electric meetinghouse
  12/30/21
Wow. Does your wife ever talk about him?
Swashbuckling french principal's office sound barrier
  12/30/21
I've never taken her there since then.
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/30/21
lol holy shit
Racy jet orchestra pit round eye
  12/30/21
You can see the butt of his knife in the second photo.
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/30/21
...
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/31/21
Do you think he gets Amazon stock
pale deranged therapy temple
  12/31/21
180
Mischievous tanning salon
  01/01/22
doesn’t look taller than 6’2
Cerebral dysfunction
  05/25/22
did he go to booth or tuck?
Crystalline adventurous church building
  12/30/21
he had multiple utility spots on his belt
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/30/21
...
Copper home
  12/31/21
Store security guards can't do shit and are almost always pr...
Lime splenetic headpube shrine
  12/31/21
You don’t compost?
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/31/21
this is probably the most obvious flame story i've ever read...
Racy jet orchestra pit round eye
  01/01/22
...
medicated corn cake
  01/01/22
now think of how many stories like these are there that are ...
Swashbuckling french principal's office sound barrier
  01/01/22
i thought it was a great thread, reminds me of classic PR-er...
Submissive mind-boggling volcanic crater
  01/01/22
ty, I don't have the ability to do a flame thread without re...
Exhilarant trust fund
  01/03/22
180 thread
pungent 180 shitlib
  01/01/22
New Picture
Exhilarant trust fund
  05/25/22
I tried to get video of him twirling the butterfly knife but...
Exhilarant trust fund
  05/25/22
That guy is 6'4 max.
dashing red indian lodge private investor
  11/22/22
Did you invite him to Thanksgiving?
pale deranged therapy temple
  11/22/22
Maybe x-mas
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/14/22
Wow almost 4 years later
pale deranged therapy temple
  12/07/23
It's a Christmas thread
Exhilarant trust fund
  12/09/23


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2019 9:32 AM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

I eat at Whole Foods a few times a week and they recently hired an armed security guard who stands at the front. Dude is maybe 29 and jacked with a man bun. Last night I went with my wife and he was standing there twirling a butterfly knife. He honestly looks like he should be hunting terrorists and I don’t know how the Whole Foods hippies put up with his tactical weaponry.

So we finish eating and I go to throw away my trash and he stopped me in front of my wife. I had put the bottle in the glass container and was putting the rest in landfill when he said, “that container goes in compost.” I was taken aback, but complied and scraped out the container. Then he said “Thanks, man” and nodded good evening at my wife.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267851)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2019 9:35 AM
Author: Hairraiser mauve boistinker party of the first part

What's his moniker haha

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267853)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2019 9:39 AM
Author: Onyx native

is your wife gonna suck his dick?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267859)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2019 10:08 AM
Author: Obsidian stubborn dragon

*again

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267922)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2019 9:41 AM
Author: indigo mildly autistic library idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267862)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2019 9:43 AM
Author: Hairraiser mauve boistinker party of the first part

Proles might show up and disrupt the aesthetic for Liberals like myself.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267867)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2019 9:43 AM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

It’s ghetto adjacent and right off a freeway exit. They must have gotten robbed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267868)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2019 9:47 AM
Author: indigo mildly autistic library idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267874)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2019 9:45 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle forum boltzmann

i'm guessing your repertoire failed you as you envisioned what his cock would do to your wife's tight pussy, so for future run-ins you're to respond with "I don't give you unsolicited tips on how I make millions at my job so don't bore me with how you separate my trash, mr. ponytail sensitive." then fart in his direction and tell him to eat it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267869)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2019 9:47 AM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

Where did I say he didn’t fuck my wife?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267872)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2019 9:48 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle forum boltzmann

where did I say he didn't? my plan won't stop your wife from fucking him but it'll make him respect you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267876)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 28th, 2020 9:50 PM
Author: Appetizing Slate Kitty Plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39504523)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 22nd, 2022 8:52 PM
Author: slimy base pistol

Oh yeah, well the jerk store called and looks like THEY'RE running out of YOU!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#45532651)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2019 9:46 AM
Author: sick insane school cafeteria

good poast

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267871)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2019 10:30 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39270674)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2019 4:43 AM
Author: medicated corn cake

Great content creation. Would read again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39271369)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 27th, 2020 10:45 PM
Author: self-centered confused nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499187)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 28th, 2020 12:34 AM
Author: buck-toothed theatre blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499684)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2019 8:25 AM
Author: coral bateful area international law enforcement agency

you weren’t carrying?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39271541)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2019 8:34 AM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

no

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39271555)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2019 8:37 AM
Author: Mustard fantasy-prone corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39271556)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 27th, 2020 10:41 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

He's not there anymore.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499166)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 27th, 2020 10:51 PM
Author: pale deranged therapy temple

Probably working at Bezos DC house

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499212)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 27th, 2020 11:02 PM
Author: Marvelous crackhouse

"he was standing there twirling a butterfly knife"

Flame jumped the shark with this one.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499283)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 27th, 2020 11:06 PM
Author: bearded gaming laptop

security guards at my whole foods twirl butterfly knives all the time, it isn't a big deal

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499297)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 27th, 2020 11:33 PM
Author: Marvelous crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499439)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 27th, 2020 11:33 PM
Author: Bipolar jap karate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499442)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 27th, 2020 11:33 PM
Author: self-centered confused nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499445)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 28th, 2020 9:45 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

It was like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spzT8tRCc2k

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39504494)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 28th, 2020 9:49 PM
Author: pale deranged therapy temple

I bet Cornpop would stay away after seeing that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39504513)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 28th, 2020 9:43 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

That's what he was doing. I live in a red state, but this dude looked like a hippy. Like he does acro yoga and krav maga.

It was very incongruous for a whole foods.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39504477)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 27th, 2020 11:06 PM
Author: bearded gaming laptop

Only way to save face there would be to dismissively say "sorry man, my bad" and walk away.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499296)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 4th, 2022 12:56 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

The only way to save face was to apologize and admit I was wrong?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43727123)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 27th, 2020 11:34 PM
Author: Gaped Toilet Seat

...and the whole store started clapping.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499448)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 28th, 2020 12:10 AM
Author: charismatic fanboi selfie

How’s California

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499566)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 28th, 2020 12:11 AM
Author: Lavender Comical Doctorate Locale

i transcended getting mogged. hasn't happened for a long time

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2020 9:27 PM
Author: pale deranged therapy temple

Seems like he could teach you a thing about knife control haha

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#41648569)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2020 9:56 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

oh hell yeah

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#41654486)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2020 9:57 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

He still works there, btw. Crazy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#41654489)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 5th, 2021 1:23 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

He's working there right now. Dude must have no motivation.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#41891879)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 5th, 2021 1:33 PM
Author: histrionic hall

The security guards name was albert einstein

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#41891935)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2021 6:57 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

To everyone who ever doubted me: He STILL works there, he’s STILL twirling his butterfly knife. His knife is in his left hand in the first photo, mid-twirl.

He has gained weight.

https://imgur.com/a/Q0NpqQU

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43701771)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2021 7:15 PM
Author: electric meetinghouse

kinda gay to be taking pictures of guys

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43701853)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2021 7:23 PM
Author: Swashbuckling french principal's office sound barrier

Wow. Does your wife ever talk about him?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43701881)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2021 8:31 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

I've never taken her there since then.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43702235)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2021 7:26 PM
Author: Racy jet orchestra pit round eye

lol holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43701887)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2021 8:31 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

You can see the butt of his knife in the second photo.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43702233)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43704478)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: pale deranged therapy temple

Do you think he gets Amazon stock

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43704492)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 1st, 2022 2:19 PM
Author: Mischievous tanning salon

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43710839)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 25th, 2022 5:14 PM
Author: Cerebral dysfunction

doesn’t look taller than 6’2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#44572825)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2021 7:16 PM
Author: Crystalline adventurous church building

did he go to booth or tuck?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43701858)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2021 8:30 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

he had multiple utility spots on his belt

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43702225)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2021 8:04 AM
Author: Copper home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43704085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Lime splenetic headpube shrine

Store security guards can't do shit and are almost always prohibited from touching, detaining, or holding you under ANY circumstances. I would have just laughed at the dude and his stupid man bun.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43704488)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 31st, 2021 7:52 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

You don’t compost?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43707412)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 1st, 2022 1:52 PM
Author: Racy jet orchestra pit round eye

this is probably the most obvious flame story i've ever read on xo that turned out to be true

why does whole foods let a dude twirl a butterfly knife lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43710665)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 1st, 2022 2:14 PM
Author: medicated corn cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43710812)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 1st, 2022 2:17 PM
Author: Swashbuckling french principal's office sound barrier

now think of how many stories like these are there that are true. that guy who was raped by his dad and his bear friends. the treeman saga. sad asian dentist. the possibilities are endless.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43710822)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 1st, 2022 2:25 PM
Author: Submissive mind-boggling volcanic crater

i thought it was a great thread, reminds me of classic PR-era ZoZo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43710896)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 3rd, 2022 12:46 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

ty, I don't have the ability to do a flame thread without reappearing and saying, "this is a flame thread, btw."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43721186)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 1st, 2022 2:25 PM
Author: pungent 180 shitlib

180 thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43710887)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 25th, 2022 5:10 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund
Subject: New Picture

He still works there, has lost the winter weight, and is fucking strapped:

https://imgur.com/a/z3semh7

Apparently left handed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#44572788)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 25th, 2022 5:13 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

I tried to get video of him twirling the butterfly knife but he only did it once. He took it out a half dozen times.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#44572814)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 22nd, 2022 8:45 PM
Author: dashing red indian lodge private investor

That guy is 6'4 max.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#45532617)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 22nd, 2022 8:37 PM
Author: pale deranged therapy temple

Did you invite him to Thanksgiving?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#45532584)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2022 9:55 AM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

Maybe x-mas

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#45631418)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2023 6:51 PM
Author: pale deranged therapy temple

Wow almost 4 years later

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#47145121)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 9th, 2023 8:49 PM
Author: Exhilarant trust fund

It's a Christmas thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#47152581)