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Got AMOG’d by 6’8” security guard at Whole Foods
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/15/19 |
| Hairraiser mauve boistinker party of the first part | 12/15/19 |
| Onyx native | 12/15/19 |
| Obsidian stubborn dragon | 12/15/19 |
| indigo mildly autistic library idiot | 12/15/19 |
| Hairraiser mauve boistinker party of the first part | 12/15/19 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/15/19 |
| indigo mildly autistic library idiot | 12/15/19 |
| razzle-dazzle forum boltzmann | 12/15/19 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/15/19 |
| razzle-dazzle forum boltzmann | 12/15/19 |
| Appetizing Slate Kitty Plaza | 01/28/20 |
| slimy base pistol | 11/22/22 |
| sick insane school cafeteria | 12/15/19 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/15/19 |
| medicated corn cake | 12/16/19 |
| self-centered confused nursing home | 01/27/20 |
| buck-toothed theatre blood rage | 01/28/20 |
| coral bateful area international law enforcement agency | 12/16/19 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/16/19 |
| Mustard fantasy-prone corner | 12/16/19 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 01/27/20 |
| pale deranged therapy temple | 01/27/20 |
| Marvelous crackhouse | 01/27/20 |
| bearded gaming laptop | 01/27/20 |
| Marvelous crackhouse | 01/27/20 |
| Bipolar jap karate | 01/27/20 |
| self-centered confused nursing home | 01/27/20 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 01/28/20 |
| pale deranged therapy temple | 01/28/20 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 01/28/20 |
| bearded gaming laptop | 01/27/20 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 01/04/22 |
| Gaped Toilet Seat | 01/27/20 |
| charismatic fanboi selfie | 01/28/20 |
| Lavender Comical Doctorate Locale | 01/28/20 |
| pale deranged therapy temple | 12/30/20 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/31/20 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/31/20 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 02/05/21 |
| histrionic hall | 02/05/21 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/30/21 |
| electric meetinghouse | 12/30/21 |
| Swashbuckling french principal's office sound barrier | 12/30/21 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/30/21 |
| Racy jet orchestra pit round eye | 12/30/21 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/30/21 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/31/21 |
| pale deranged therapy temple | 12/31/21 |
| Mischievous tanning salon | 01/01/22 |
| Cerebral dysfunction | 05/25/22 |
| Crystalline adventurous church building | 12/30/21 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/30/21 |
| Copper home | 12/31/21 |
| Lime splenetic headpube shrine | 12/31/21 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/31/21 |
| Racy jet orchestra pit round eye | 01/01/22 |
| medicated corn cake | 01/01/22 |
| Swashbuckling french principal's office sound barrier | 01/01/22 |
| Submissive mind-boggling volcanic crater | 01/01/22 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 01/03/22 |
| pungent 180 shitlib | 01/01/22 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 05/25/22 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 05/25/22 |
| dashing red indian lodge private investor | 11/22/22 |
| pale deranged therapy temple | 11/22/22 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/14/22 |
| pale deranged therapy temple | 12/07/23 |
| Exhilarant trust fund | 12/09/23 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: December 15th, 2019 9:32 AM Author: Exhilarant trust fund I eat at Whole Foods a few times a week and they recently hired an armed security guard who stands at the front. Dude is maybe 29 and jacked with a man bun. Last night I went with my wife and he was standing there twirling a butterfly knife. He honestly looks like he should be hunting terrorists and I don’t know how the Whole Foods hippies put up with his tactical weaponry.
So we finish eating and I go to throw away my trash and he stopped me in front of my wife. I had put the bottle in the glass container and was putting the rest in landfill when he said, “that container goes in compost.” I was taken aback, but complied and scraped out the container. Then he said “Thanks, man” and nodded good evening at my wife. |
Date: December 15th, 2019 9:35 AM Author: Hairraiser mauve boistinker party of the first part What's his moniker haha (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267853) |
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Date: December 15th, 2019 9:39 AM Author: Onyx native is your wife gonna suck his dick? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267859) |
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Date: December 15th, 2019 10:08 AM Author: Obsidian stubborn dragon *again (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267922) |
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Date: December 15th, 2019 9:41 AM Author: indigo mildly autistic library idiot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267862) |
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Date: December 15th, 2019 9:43 AM Author: Hairraiser mauve boistinker party of the first part Proles might show up and disrupt the aesthetic for Liberals like myself. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267867) |
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Date: December 15th, 2019 9:43 AM Author: Exhilarant trust fund It’s ghetto adjacent and right off a freeway exit. They must have gotten robbed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267868) |
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Date: December 15th, 2019 9:47 AM Author: indigo mildly autistic library idiot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267874) |
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Date: December 15th, 2019 9:45 AM Author: razzle-dazzle forum boltzmann i'm guessing your repertoire failed you as you envisioned what his cock would do to your wife's tight pussy, so for future run-ins you're to respond with "I don't give you unsolicited tips on how I make millions at my job so don't bore me with how you separate my trash, mr. ponytail sensitive." then fart in his direction and tell him to eat it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267869) |
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Date: December 15th, 2019 9:47 AM Author: Exhilarant trust fund Where did I say he didn’t fuck my wife? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267872) |
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Date: December 15th, 2019 9:48 AM Author: razzle-dazzle forum boltzmann where did I say he didn't? my plan won't stop your wife from fucking him but it'll make him respect you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267876) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 9:50 PM Author: Appetizing Slate Kitty Plaza (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39504523) |
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Date: November 22nd, 2022 8:52 PM Author: slimy base pistol Oh yeah, well the jerk store called and looks like THEY'RE running out of YOU! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#45532651) |
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Date: December 15th, 2019 9:46 AM Author: sick insane school cafeteria good poast (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39267871) |
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Date: December 15th, 2019 10:30 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39270674) |
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Date: December 16th, 2019 4:43 AM Author: medicated corn cake Great content creation. Would read again. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39271369) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 10:45 PM Author: self-centered confused nursing home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499187) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 12:34 AM Author: buck-toothed theatre blood rage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499684) |
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Date: December 16th, 2019 8:25 AM Author: coral bateful area international law enforcement agency you weren’t carrying? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39271541) |
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Date: December 16th, 2019 8:34 AM Author: Exhilarant trust fund no (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39271555) |
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Date: December 16th, 2019 8:37 AM Author: Mustard fantasy-prone corner (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39271556) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 10:41 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund He's not there anymore. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499166) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 10:51 PM Author: pale deranged therapy temple Probably working at Bezos DC house (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499212) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:02 PM Author: Marvelous crackhouse "he was standing there twirling a butterfly knife"
Flame jumped the shark with this one. |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:06 PM Author: bearded gaming laptop security guards at my whole foods twirl butterfly knives all the time, it isn't a big deal (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499297) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:33 PM Author: Marvelous crackhouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499439) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:33 PM Author: Bipolar jap karate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499442) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:33 PM Author: self-centered confused nursing home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499445) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 9:45 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund It was like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spzT8tRCc2k (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39504494) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 9:49 PM Author: pale deranged therapy temple I bet Cornpop would stay away after seeing that (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39504513) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 9:43 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund That's what he was doing. I live in a red state, but this dude looked like a hippy. Like he does acro yoga and krav maga.
It was very incongruous for a whole foods. |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:06 PM Author: bearded gaming laptop Only way to save face there would be to dismissively say "sorry man, my bad" and walk away. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499296) |
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Date: January 4th, 2022 12:56 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund The only way to save face was to apologize and admit I was wrong? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43727123) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:34 PM Author: Gaped Toilet Seat ...and the whole store started clapping. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499448) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 12:10 AM Author: charismatic fanboi selfie How’s California (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499566) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 12:11 AM Author: Lavender Comical Doctorate Locale i transcended getting mogged. hasn't happened for a long time (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#39499568) |
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Date: December 30th, 2020 9:27 PM Author: pale deranged therapy temple Seems like he could teach you a thing about knife control haha (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#41648569) |
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Date: December 31st, 2020 9:56 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund oh hell yeah (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#41654486) |
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Date: December 31st, 2020 9:57 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund He still works there, btw. Crazy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#41654489) |
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Date: February 5th, 2021 1:23 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund He's working there right now. Dude must have no motivation. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#41891879) |
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Date: February 5th, 2021 1:33 PM Author: histrionic hall The security guards name was albert einstein (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#41891935) |
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Date: December 30th, 2021 6:57 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund To everyone who ever doubted me: He STILL works there, he’s STILL twirling his butterfly knife. His knife is in his left hand in the first photo, mid-twirl.
He has gained weight.
https://imgur.com/a/Q0NpqQU |
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Date: December 30th, 2021 7:15 PM Author: electric meetinghouse kinda gay to be taking pictures of guys (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43701853) |
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Date: December 30th, 2021 7:23 PM Author: Swashbuckling french principal's office sound barrier Wow. Does your wife ever talk about him? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43701881) |
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Date: December 30th, 2021 8:31 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund I've never taken her there since then. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43702235) |
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Date: December 30th, 2021 7:26 PM Author: Racy jet orchestra pit round eye lol holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43701887) |
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Date: December 30th, 2021 8:31 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund You can see the butt of his knife in the second photo. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43702233) |
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Date: December 31st, 2021 10:44 AM Author: Exhilarant trust fund (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43704478) |
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Date: December 31st, 2021 10:49 AM Author: pale deranged therapy temple Do you think he gets Amazon stock (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43704492) |
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Date: January 1st, 2022 2:19 PM Author: Mischievous tanning salon 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43710839) |
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Date: May 25th, 2022 5:14 PM Author: Cerebral dysfunction doesn’t look taller than 6’2 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#44572825) |
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Date: December 30th, 2021 7:16 PM Author: Crystalline adventurous church building did he go to booth or tuck? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43701858) |
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Date: December 30th, 2021 8:30 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund he had multiple utility spots on his belt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43702225) |
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Date: December 31st, 2021 8:04 AM Author: Copper home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43704085) |
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Date: December 31st, 2021 10:47 AM Author: Lime splenetic headpube shrine Store security guards can't do shit and are almost always prohibited from touching, detaining, or holding you under ANY circumstances. I would have just laughed at the dude and his stupid man bun. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43704488) |
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Date: December 31st, 2021 7:52 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund You don’t compost? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43707412) |
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Date: January 1st, 2022 1:52 PM Author: Racy jet orchestra pit round eye this is probably the most obvious flame story i've ever read on xo that turned out to be true
why does whole foods let a dude twirl a butterfly knife lol |
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Date: January 1st, 2022 2:14 PM Author: medicated corn cake (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43710812) |
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Date: January 1st, 2022 2:17 PM Author: Swashbuckling french principal's office sound barrier now think of how many stories like these are there that are true. that guy who was raped by his dad and his bear friends. the treeman saga. sad asian dentist. the possibilities are endless. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43710822) |
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Date: January 1st, 2022 2:25 PM Author: Submissive mind-boggling volcanic crater i thought it was a great thread, reminds me of classic PR-era ZoZo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43710896) |
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Date: January 3rd, 2022 12:46 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund ty, I don't have the ability to do a flame thread without reappearing and saying, "this is a flame thread, btw." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43721186) |
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Date: January 1st, 2022 2:25 PM Author: pungent 180 shitlib 180 thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#43710887) |
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Date: May 25th, 2022 5:10 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund Subject: New Picture He still works there, has lost the winter weight, and is fucking strapped:
Apparently left handed. |
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Date: May 25th, 2022 5:13 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund I tried to get video of him twirling the butterfly knife but he only did it once. He took it out a half dozen times. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#44572814) |
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Date: November 22nd, 2022 8:45 PM Author: dashing red indian lodge private investor That guy is 6'4 max. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#45532617) |
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Date: November 22nd, 2022 8:37 PM Author: pale deranged therapy temple Did you invite him to Thanksgiving? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#45532584) |
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Date: December 14th, 2022 9:55 AM Author: Exhilarant trust fund Maybe x-mas (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#45631418) |
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Date: December 7th, 2023 6:51 PM Author: pale deranged therapy temple Wow almost 4 years later (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#47145121) |
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Date: December 9th, 2023 8:49 PM Author: Exhilarant trust fund It's a Christmas thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4401607&forum_id=2#47152581) |