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Anyone have a tough time with the loss of a parent?
| brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma | 01/26/20 |
| fragrant point | 01/26/20 |
| brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma | 01/26/20 |
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| laughsome station | 01/27/20 |
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| brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma | 01/26/20 |
| Pale temple | 01/26/20 |
| brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma | 01/26/20 |
| Pale temple | 01/26/20 |
| brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma | 01/26/20 |
| White Big House | 01/26/20 |
| irate canary jew | 01/26/20 |
| Floppy embarrassed to the bone masturbator | 01/26/20 |
| chrome principal's office mad-dog skullcap | 01/26/20 |
| Emerald Deranged Whorehouse | 01/26/20 |
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| Multi-colored Fighting Brunch | 01/27/20 |
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| Mentally impaired autistic stag film main people | 01/26/20 |
| Stimulating school national security agency | 02/02/20 |
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| Salmon twisted filthpig mediation | 01/27/20 |
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: January 26th, 2020 8:57 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma Please tell itt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493366) |
Date: January 26th, 2020 8:59 PM Author: fragrant point (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493374) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:03 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma Thanks man. Just know you’ve always been one of my favorite Poasters even though you said the opposite in another thread. That means a lot what you just said to me. I feel the exact same way as you. Having my own little dude made me realize why I feel that way. As humans we don’t remember all the bonding, diaper changes, bottles, baths bc we’re too little. But jfc your parents are everything. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493387) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:06 PM Author: fragrant point (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493401) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:11 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493433) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 9:38 AM Author: laughsome station based (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495124) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 1:21 PM Author: 180 abusive personal credit line were they blathering racists too? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39501762) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:00 PM Author: irate canary jew Still going through it. Hardest thing I've every dealt with by far. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493377) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:04 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma Same here man. Fuck. Always thought it would be something I can work through but it’s getting worse lol. I’m a pretty strong dude emotionally but it hits at the worst time. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493390) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:08 PM Author: irate canary jew I dont have much good advice. It's horrible, I'd have to leave the office to cry. One thing is...try not to engage in self destructive coping mechanisms.
Most people wont understand either. |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:09 PM Author: White Big House (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493420) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:13 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma Exactly. That’s a hard part too. No one understands. “Hey man why did you stop working out? You look skinny. Are you eating? ” Well no that’s bc my fucking mother died a month ago.
You’re right too. I drank a lot in the beginning and it made it worse. Only recently did I stop drinking and started to work out and I feel slightly better during those moments. |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:22 PM Author: irate canary jew You're only a month in. My condolences for your loss. It's really tough. Exercise was good for me.
People in early 30s dont get it. I took 2.5-3 weeks off work. When I came back, someone (I worked with her for 4 years) asked immediately me what happened. I told her and she responded, "Well that's life, gotta move on." That's when I realized nobody gets it and almost nobody cares.
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:25 PM Author: White Big House (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493490) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:31 PM Author: Poppy fear-inspiring athletic conference chapel I hope you asked her wtf she was talking about (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493512) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:34 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma Exactly. Got that A LOT.
I’m actually in my early 30s but I know exactly what u mean. The worst question for me was “how are you doing man you good?” From people I barely know. It was such a hard question bc if I was like “yeah man I’m fine.” Then I’m lying. If I complain no one wants to listen. So you’re caught in the moment.
Now I know the best way to deal with someone who lost someone is a pat on the shoulder and say “sorry for your loss man” and keep walking.
No one gets it except you and ur wife. |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 10:08 PM Author: chrome principal's office mad-dog skullcap what a stupid cunt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493693) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:58 AM Author: Bateful church building pistol would've literally told her to fuck off right then and there (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495859) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:05 PM Author: chrome principal's office mad-dog skullcap my parents are turning 70 next year and I'm already dreading the day (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493391) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:10 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma What is fucked up is that you can’t prepare. I thought I had it all planned out in my head. Naturally you assume that it’s something where you get a call where ur mom tells you that she went to the doctor, she’s really sick and it’s a slow decline for a few weeks or months.
But in reality, you stop by ur parents, vent to your apparently healthy mom about work, she tells u your boss is an asshole, makes you feel better you say goodbye and then that night you get the call that she had a stroke and is unconscious. You see the mother you loved forever on a ventilator unconscious for three days before she eventually dies and your “goodbye” was kissing an unconscious person on life support that really died three days earlier.
Life sucks. |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:12 PM Author: White Big House (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493434) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:14 PM Author: fragrant point (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493444) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:17 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma Yup. That sound of the breathing in the fucking hospital still haunts me in my sleep. And for the longest time you can’t remember what my mom looked like bc of that hospital experience. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493459) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:23 PM Author: irate canary jew Damn. That shit is too real (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493483) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:31 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma Tell me about it. The whole ordeal happened when my wife was about to pop with our first baby. Two weeks later when my wife went into labor I was sleeping in the hospital chair and had a nightmare about my mom and my wife threw a tissue box at me to wake me up bc it was time for the baby to come and I woke up with my heart pounding harder like I was gonna have a heart attack as my wife had the baby. Craziest two weeks of my life. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493513) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:17 PM Author: crystalline garrison doctorate fuck my ass (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493460) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:22 PM Author: irate canary jew (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493480) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:05 PM Author: electric dun gas station legend Yep. been 14 years. its not as consuming as it was the first year or so but it doesn't really ever go away. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493398) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:06 PM Author: chrome principal's office mad-dog skullcap do you have wyfe/kids (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493402) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:09 PM Author: irate canary jew (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493417) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:11 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493431) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:14 PM Author: razzle gay orchestra pit sex offender Nah. Lost them both when I was 9. Was totally cool with it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493443) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:18 PM Author: fragrant point (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493463) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:58 AM Author: razzle gay orchestra pit sex offender I hope i'm not reading too much into this post, friend. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495856) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:10 AM Author: Fuchsia elastic band (Henry Jennings) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39494242) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 12:49 PM Author: Crawly submissive resort turdskin (guy who was normal weight ages 1-8) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39501579) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:34 PM Author: Pale temple It's been seven years since my mom was suddenly killed and it still hurts like a motherfucker. Cried like a baby last night in fact. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493525) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:35 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma Sorry for your loss man. Here for you man. Good to know we’re all in the same boat. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493531) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:40 PM Author: Pale temple Your poast above rings true for me too. Mine was:
1. Get a call that parents had been in an accident and they are both in surgery
2. Get on the first plane home with wife and baby
3. Land to voicemail from hospital
4. Call hospital on way to baggage claim and get told over the phone that mom is dead
5. Breakdown crying inconsolably in a fucking airport. |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:45 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma Jesus man. That’s horrible. Thank you for sharing that man. And I know for a fact you’re never going to forget that day. Everything about it, like what you were doing before that call. It’s such a tough day.
And your story about the airport reminded me of something too. It was only of the first times I really didn’t give a fuck someone seeing me cry. I’m sure you felt the same way.
And I’m glad you have a child like I do and it makes me appreciate the bonding so much more bc I know why I feel the connection to my parents the way i do. |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:56 PM Author: Pale temple I've got two kids. The thing that sucks is that my mom is not a real person to them, she's more of an idea. Birthdays, christmases etc always have a moment of sadness when I think about her not being there. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493642) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 10:02 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma Jesus man, you just read my mind. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493666) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:40 PM Author: White Big House (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493547) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:40 PM Author: irate canary jew (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493552) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 9:57 PM Author: Floppy embarrassed to the bone masturbator hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
You assholes should all be grateful you had parents worth grieving over.
I do think about my dog who passed away nearly 9 years ago. I think about her and miss her all the time. Not sure I will ever stop. Used to come home from work and just start crying because she was gone. |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 10:07 PM Author: chrome principal's office mad-dog skullcap did TMF rape it to death? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493685) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 10:09 PM Author: Emerald Deranged Whorehouse jesus fucking christ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493696) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 10:11 PM Author: Pale temple (MND & TMF's test tube baby poasting from the future) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493709) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:17 PM Author: Multi-colored Fighting Brunch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495948) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:27 PM Author: irate canary jew (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39496011) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 12:48 PM Author: 180 abusive personal credit line (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39501571) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 5:18 PM Author: swashbuckling burgundy police squad (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39528938) |
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Date: February 6th, 2020 1:35 PM Author: drab stage ratface (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39552968) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 10:41 PM Author: Adventurous Sandwich Have you considered therapy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493813) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 10:44 PM Author: claret irradiated boistinker You are even more autistic than your troll husband (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493827) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:08 AM Author: Fuchsia elastic band As if that were possible. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39494233) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 9:46 AM Author: laughsome station lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495151) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 9:36 AM Author: Massive Telephone Hell don't have kids (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495116) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 9:37 AM Author: fragrant point (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495121) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:09 PM Author: Startled preventive strike Seek help (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495907) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:15 PM Author: Wild impertinent cumskin tanning salon This cruel and misfortunate genetic line needs to end with you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495939) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:27 PM Author: irate canary jew (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39496007) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 12:43 PM Author: swashbuckling burgundy police squad (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39501536) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 12:49 PM Author: 180 abusive personal credit line (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39501575) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 5:18 PM Author: swashbuckling burgundy police squad (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39528940) |
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Date: February 6th, 2020 1:37 PM Author: chrome principal's office mad-dog skullcap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39552984) |
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Date: February 6th, 2020 1:44 PM Author: drab stage ratface Not flame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39553031) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 10:01 PM Author: maize ladyboy had a close call last year. really dreading this. sorry to everyone above. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493663) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 10:49 PM Author: Multi-colored Fighting Brunch I still watch sports and want to call my dad to see if he saw something that I did.
If I catch a nice fish, I want to text him pics of the fish. |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 10:52 PM Author: Mentally impaired autistic stag film main people (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493864) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 5:30 PM Author: Stimulating school national security agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39529004) |
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Date: January 26th, 2020 10:50 PM Author: navy misanthropic base I dread the day this happens (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39493854) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:12 AM Author: Salmon twisted filthpig mediation it was tough. but having such a fantastic relationship with my dad made it easier (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39494250) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:13 AM Author: Fuchsia elastic band All of you people dreading it, how often do you see/interact with your parents? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39494255) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:15 AM Author: Salmon twisted filthpig mediation wanna go bowling on 2/1? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39494263) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 10:34 AM Author: Amber state psychic It occupies a lot of my mental real estate. Text or call both of my parents daily and see them at least twice a month. Recently added 18 hours to a flight leg home so I could route through their city and get lunch. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495363) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 12:35 PM Author: Fuchsia elastic band That's reasonable. I wonder how many people are like "I DREAD IT!" but then see them like 1-2x per year and talk on the phone once a week (which incidentally, is my setup). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39501484) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:27 AM Author: Yapping home coldplay fan (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39494319) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:40 AM Author: Clear site juggernaut Dad died 18 months ago and still dealing with fallout both internally and with the family. Like another poaster he passed about 12 weeks before my first babby came. My mom is still a wreck from how fast it happened. From cancer diagnosis to death in under 5 months.
I had a wild flight the last time I went to see him and I knew it was a matter of days, where i ended up sitting next to a girl who was on a way to a funeral for a good friend who was murdered by her ex. We both made small talk and it was clear we were both fairly stressed and not traveling for fun. Once we found out each other's stories we ordered a glass of wine and just vented in the way you sometimes can only do with strangers you'll never see again. Yes she was cute.
This world is fucked that grieving like this is something basically everyone has to go through |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 12:41 PM Author: godawful bistre liquid oxygen That's the thing though. It's so personal, and yet it's one of the most common things that almost every one of us will go through. You feel alone and no one can really know...but we all can or will. Welcome to the club bud, the water is fine and drinks are plenty while we wait for the rest to catch up to us. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39501526) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 9:45 AM Author: White Big House death is horrible. it's the only thing in the gospels that moves Jesus to tears. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495145) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 9:48 AM Author: Onyx brethren it's very hard
when a parent passes a way u become a member of a club that you don't want to be part of
only people in that club really understand what it's like |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:45 AM Author: Massive Telephone Hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495775) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:48 AM Author: navy misanthropic base why'd he do that and why was it alpha (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495794) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:50 AM Author: Massive Telephone Hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495811) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:55 AM Author: navy misanthropic base wow (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495841) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:11 PM Author: Startled preventive strike Life insurance pays out on suicide?
Extremely alpha |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:13 PM Author: Massive Telephone Hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495928) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:15 PM Author: navy misanthropic base There’s usually a 2 year exclusion to prevent people from getting policies then killing themselves (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495938) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:57 AM Author: Sapphire arousing idea he suggested It’s horrible. Life is never the same. Coworkers don’t give a shit; they just want you at the office so they don’t have to do more work. People are more understanding of time off for a newborn than for a parent’s death. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495849) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 11:59 AM Author: Angry trip old irish cottage My mom passed away last year and if anything, I've felt a ton of sorrow but relieved she's not suffering. I don't get sad per se, only that I miss her a lot when I think about it. I visit her every week at the cemetery and there's a tranquilness I experience when I'm there. Also, for one reason or another, I don't fear death anymore knowing she led the way. It's weird.
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:21 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma Holy fuck that last line struck a cord. I used to feel some shit in my head or chest and worry that I’m going to suddenly collapse or die. Now I’m just like whatever, if I die I die. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495981) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:26 PM Author: Angry trip old irish cottage The other aspect of this is I've learned to be much more appreciative. Before she passed, I made it a point to tell her how much she meant to me for what she did. I've also been telling people close to me the same just so they know. No loose ends....
Hang in there, it won't get "better" but the perspective will come and it'll just be part of life. I look forward to being able to visit her. |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:57 PM Author: godawful bistre liquid oxygen Good stuff, and very similar to my experience. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39496171) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:56 PM Author: godawful bistre liquid oxygen Same. Especially the not fearing death part. My mother died in front of me...and I know she would never want me to fear death but wanted me to really live my life and not give any fucks for living it. Part of the reason why I left the US and have been making it work in Europe living the life I want to. She would have been so happy and excited for me, the only terrible part is not being able to tell her she helped give me the confidence and well being to pursue what I really wanted out of our short stupid time on this rock. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39496163) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 3:55 PM Author: Angry trip old irish cottage 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39497271) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:20 PM Author: Thirsty field It is horrible. My Dad and I were super tight, emailed every day, texted and called all the time. But he was in a long downward spiral due to alcoholism. I started putting pressure on him to get some help because I was worried and he was not listening to anyone. So I badgered him in November and it pissed him off. Our last four talks were him lashing out at me for betraying him. I felt so awful... but was trying to save him.
Died on the floor of his place from booze in early December. Can’t look at the wonderful 30 years we had together without remembering his anger and bitterness. Was gonna tell him about his first grandson at Christmas... but he didn’t make it.
First year was absolutely brutal. It’s gotten a bit better... but now that I’m a father I understand him even better. Wish I could ask him for advice. |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:23 PM Author: godawful bistre liquid oxygen I feel ya, but my mother was the alci. The anger wasn't your father, that was the alcohol. He still loved you like he always did for those 30 years. You did the right thing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495993) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:28 PM Author: Maniacal Box Office Laser Beams This. His anger was projected to you but directed at himself. He knew what he needed to do and wouldn't or couldn't. He knew what you said and did came from love. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39496014) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:34 PM Author: Thirsty field I hope so. I just think of him lying there, about to expire, beat up by booze brought on by ITE and his divorce... and feeling all alone in the world. His boy even turned against him.
Wish I could tell him I was always for him. |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:54 PM Author: godawful bistre liquid oxygen That's the disease brother, not your fault he did that to himself and there's nothing you could have done to stop it really. You didn't turn on him and you were doing what you needed to do to help him. I know that feeling very well bro, it's a terrible weight but one you shouldn't put on yourself. And none of that negates the 30 years you had together. He knew the love you always had for him, trust that. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39496147) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 12:33 PM Author: Sapphire arousing idea he suggested Addicts feel shame. Part of the reason most become addicts to begin with is to numb feelings of shame. Then the addiction also becomes a source of shame. Addicts are acutely aware of their problems. Overly aware. They don’t like hearing it from other people, just like no one likes hearing criticism. Addicts have to make the decision to stop/get treatment on their own accord. They can’t feel pressured or shamed into it by others. I personally think group interventions are a horrible idea, even though the people involved are convinced they are helping.
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Date: January 28th, 2020 12:38 PM Author: Thirsty field I think that’s mostly true. And tbf I never did an intervention with him. Just talked with him about getting help, insisting he go to a doctor for other ailments to hoping the doc could convince him he was going to die, etc.
It was either push him or don’t. And i choose wrongly because the only difference I “made” was getting him mad at me and straining our last few months together.
OTOH if I hadn’t done anything and we were cool until he died in a similar fashion, I’d probably feel intense guilt that I didn’t try to help him. I don’t think there was a win in this situation. |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 12:47 PM Author: Sapphire arousing idea he suggested Yeah, you were definitely in a no-win position. And your conversation with him was private, which is wayyyyy better than being embarrassed in front of a bunch of friends & family. You tried. You’d hate yourself if you didn’t. When it is getting to the brink of death, I think you’re justified.
But life is awful & painful, & some people would rather die than face it in a full state of consciousness. It’s another means of seeking a fortuitous meteor.
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Date: January 28th, 2020 12:59 PM Author: Thirsty field Fuck this gay earth. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39501634) |
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Date: January 27th, 2020 12:21 PM Author: godawful bistre liquid oxygen My mother died almost 4 years ago from cancer. It was excruciating doubled down since she was also a raging alcoholic beforehand. Loved her with everything but was also terrible in the last few years before she was diagnosed. We were going to try to get her into treatment, then the cancer hit and it all went to shit. I left the US a few months after she died and have lived in Europe ever since. I can't tell you how badly I just want to talk to my mom and tell her everything that's been happening in my life since. When something good or bad happens, there's still part of my brain that triggers and says oh you should tell mom! then I realize again that she's still gone and that void will never go away. It has made me a better person though, and has made me appreciate everything and everyone in my life in a way that only losing your parent can do. Live your life well because you won't get out of it without regret. The best you can hope for is to minimize your regret as much as possible. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39495983) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 12:51 PM Author: soggy exhilarant bbw stead lost my mom in a car wreck when i was 13...my dad raised us alone...he died when i was in my mid 50s...of a stroke in his 80s...it was tough (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39501586) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 1:25 PM Author: Infuriating National Crotch Autistic guy with regrettable youth here (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39501792) |
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Date: January 28th, 2020 1:32 PM Author: cruel-hearted grizzly cuckold corner unusually sad and not ironic xo thread
im really sorry, to op and others, for your losses
thread makes me feel terrible |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 4:55 PM Author: brindle up-to-no-good rigpig dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39528840) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 5:31 PM Author: magical heaven cr. everyone put on their sleeve as a show of solidarity (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39529008) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 8:50 PM Author: godawful bistre liquid oxygen Thanks for that, didn't expect this thread to go this way. But it really shouldn't make you feel terrible. It's something that almost everyone goes through so just take what you can from the posts and hopefully it's a little easier for you when that part of life happens.
There are so many more conversations I wish I had and so much time I wish I had been able to spend with my mother. So long as they're not totally toxic for you, even if you're angry or annoyed by them, just call your family regularly and make an effort to spend time together. If you have any, a lot of the anger disappears after they're gone and you can see a lot of triviality in it all - and it's best to try to avoid saying to yourself later on fuck I wish I had had that convo or asked that question or spent more time. |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 5:36 PM Author: Stimulating school national security agency Remember the good times. Say a prayer for them when you pray. Talk to them sometimes when your alone, just about good things. Time heals. Keep moving forward. Everything happens for a reason. Fuck this gay earth. Everyone dies. Enjoy your time here/be grateful. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39529026) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 8:33 PM Author: godawful bistre liquid oxygen Pretty much sums it up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39530137) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 6:08 PM Author: Boyish filthy center immigrant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlPhMPnQ58k
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Date: February 6th, 2020 1:40 PM Author: bossy mad cow disease plaza (orders another round at a bar somewhere in Europe) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39553008) |
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Date: February 6th, 2020 1:51 PM Author: dashing crimson hairy legs In my case, the first 1-2 years were awful, but it does get better with time. The pain never fully goes away, just isn't as painful as it once was. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4430638&forum_id=2#39553077) |