Coughed; blood squired out of vaggy
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: July 22nd, 2006 11:46 AM Author: Cruella De Vil (''I WILL EAT YOUR BABIES, BITCH!'')
DIE CRAMPS DIE!!!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=459299&forum_id=2#6273061) |
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Date: July 22nd, 2006 11:48 AM Author: quaker1
wow.
just wow.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=459299&forum_id=2#6273064) |
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Date: July 22nd, 2006 11:55 AM Author: Broislav
i thought you meant squirreled at first but then that doesn't really mean anything.
edit: also, die you sick fuck.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=459299&forum_id=2#6273079) |
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Date: January 10th, 2007 7:42 PM Author: .,...,,,.,..,,,,,.,,,.,,,.,.,
:)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=459299&forum_id=2#7391858) |

Date: January 10th, 2007 7:42 PM Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (Meghan Fitzpatrick, UVa '04)
I came.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=459299&forum_id=2#7391859) |

Date: February 7th, 2007 5:59 PM Author: .,...,,,.,..,,,,,.,,,.,,,.,.,
hump
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=459299&forum_id=2#7562175) |

Date: March 23rd, 2007 10:26 AM Author: .....,..,...,,.,,...,,,...,.. (Did she come around here, sir?)
appreciation bump.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=459299&forum_id=2#7802457) |

Date: April 27th, 2007 8:29 PM Author: .,...,,,.,..,,,,,.,,,.,,,.,.,
*cough cough*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=459299&forum_id=2#8019839) |
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Date: May 11th, 2007 10:39 PM Author: Medea ( )
this one is way more grosser
Edit: Have you tried Mirena?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=459299&forum_id=2#8104828) |
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Date: July 19th, 2007 12:13 PM Author: ...,..,.. ,.....,.,.,, .,.,.,, ,,,,...
'gratz
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=459299&forum_id=2#8406469) |

Date: July 19th, 2007 2:41 PM Author: Cruella De Vil ("Some people have war in their countries." - Natasha to Brittany)
AN OPEN LETTER TO
MR. JAMES THATCHER,
BRAND MANAGER,
PROCTER & GAMBLE.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core (tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or Salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be
your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants.
Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."
Are you f**king kidding me?
What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness--actual smiling, laughing happiness--is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlï¿â^?a and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man.
If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bulls**t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=459299&forum_id=2#8407067)
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Date: July 19th, 2007 2:44 PM Author: rasqie (Where am I? It's dark and I hear laughing)
ugh, I hate McSweeney's open letters.
self conscious trash.
women bitching about their period is the realm of sub par standup female comics who can't think of actually funny things to say.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=459299&forum_id=2#8407076) |
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Date: July 19th, 2007 2:52 PM Author: ...,..,.. ,.....,.,.,, .,.,.,, ,,,,...
180
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=459299&forum_id=2#8407120)
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Date: July 25th, 2008 10:54 PM Author: 147 pounds of fat chick
Chunky, or smooth?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=459299&forum_id=2#10009971) |
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