Leo Guinan

Leo Guinan

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Sep 18 · 2 min read

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I wrote earlier about trying to express my reasons to my dad in a calm and intellectual manner. I actually thought I had been calm and well-reasoned. I thought I might even be making progress.

Today I found out he put a Trump sign in his yard.

I got pissed. Really pissed. And I sent him and my mom a text message. Hands shaking, tears in eyes. This is what it said:

Due to the signs in the yard, the kids and I will not be down. The current occupant of the White House is preaching hate and violence, endangering the lives and safety of many of my friends. This is not acceptable to me at all. There is a complete disregard for women, minorities, science, ethics, and morality. Please consider if you support Trump that much. Because I hate him that much. I wanted to be upfront and honest about my feelings.

And then I went for a walk to calm down. And the more I thought about it, the more I agreed with the message. At this point, it is not acceptable to me. You can vote for whom you wish. But I can choose who I surround myself with. I love my dad, but I can’t be around him until he understands how vital I believe this election to be and what is truly at stake. It is not easy. But it was necessary. Now to see what fallout occurs.

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Family

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Tough Love

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28 responses

Leo Guinan

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Leo Guinan

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Trying to share my experiences in a way that might help others. I can change the world. I will change the world. Even if for a single person. He/Him.

https://medium.com/@guinanleo/today-i-gave-my-dad-a-choice-trump-or-his-grandkids-and-his-son-b2f971ed39f9

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40952419)

"Hands shaking, tears in eyes."

"Hands shaking, tears in eyes."

"Hands shaking, tears in eyes."

"Hands shaking, tears in eyes."

"Hands shaking, tears in eyes."

"Hands shaking, tears in eyes."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40952467)

This makes me want trump to win 100x more. Trump is fat and stupid and I don’t care for him personally. but the agony of these people would bring me so much joy.

Thank goodness this freakshow assured us that he expressed his views in a “calm and intellectual” manner. He seems normal and well adjusted now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40952505)

Who the President is ultimately doesn't have an effect on your life 99% of the time, and to suggest otherwise is ridiculous.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40952535)

Plus they all vote Dem anyway, so I'm not sure the two remaining intact families have much to fight about.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40957243)

Are you saying there are no acts of a father for which a son would be justified in discontinuing a relationship with him, for the sake of benefiting his son?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40953113)

But no. Consistently terrible across all topics and genres. Which is something in itself, I suppose.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40956989)

Liberal towns have nervous, twithcy people staring out fearfully at the world from behind their masks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40953340)

https://twitter.com/ZachG932/status/1288976002182451204

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EMl3y-KXUAAcsWV?format=jpg&name=4096x4096

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40957188)

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1300111976593534976/YXiE7sDL_400x400.jpg

Chance of kids not being obese and mentally unwell?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40954317)

I don’t mean this in a haha libs are crazy way. It’s just objectively true. A significant proportion of these people are under a doctors care and taking serious medication yet they are trying to tell others how to live their lives. This is not right.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40954387)

Russians weren't as thrilled to lick the boot as Americans have become, so culturally his name became synonymous with ultimate betrayal.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40955645)

What is Mental Illness? Perspectives from inside the box.

https://medium.com/in-fitness-and-in-health/what-is-mental-illness-b83248c87276

Diversity is the Key to Innovation. https://medium.com/the-innovation/diversity-is-the-key-to-innovation-1c47938a5ecb

Basically, I'm guessing dad is ok never speaking to this asshat again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40956660)

What is Mental Illness?

Perspectives from inside the box

Leo Guinan

Leo Guinan

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Sep 10 · 5 min read

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I want to start off by saying that this will reflect my own experiences and opinions. I expect that many feel the same way, but I don’t want to assume that. I have been battling with depression and anxiety for about a decade now. And I came out of it. For the first time in a decade, I don’t need any medication to help me manage my mental health. It gave me a perspective that I hope will help others.

Before I address specific events in my past, I do want to start with some questions that I have started pondering recently. Thought experiments of sorts. One specifically drives the others: “What if everything we know is wrong?”

shop window with #becurious

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Starting with that question, I began to question everything. Why are things the way they are? It turns out, the answer is very easy if you think about it. The past has led to the current point in time. The events of the past are innumerable, but some events had bigger impacts in time than others. But the past is what the past is. We can’t change it. What about the future?

What about the future?

This is something that hit me hard. I realized that I had gotten so withdrawn into me own head, I never considered the futures of anyone outside of myself in real detail. And that led me to another consideration. I had never really asked people what they wanted their futures to be.

Why is that?

It occurred to me that I viewed the world around me as robots. I would provide input, they would give me some output, and I would move on. I never considered anyone else’s relationship to time and in relationship to my own time. Think about that for a moment. It isn’t easy to grasp, but once you get it, it’s hard to lose.

One of the things I have been doing while stuck in my head is breaking down every part of myself. I approached my brain like an engineering problem. I am just going to strip away layer after layer of why thoughts until I understand why I am who I am.

Thankfully, I have been lucky in life. I have the privilege of being able to do this on my own for the most part. I have just recently started therapy, and it really helped me understand how privileged I have been. So I stripped my past down to understand what made me me. I do not recommend this on your own if you have had a traumatic past. Find help before really getting into the darker parts of your life.

An interesting thing happened. I eventually got to the bottom. Or at least, close enough to the bottom that I decided to start building back up. And I started building back up while considering the futures of those around me, in addition to my own. And then my futures started changing. And I am ok with that. I am willing to sacrifice clarity of my own future for a less clear future with others while working toward a collective good.

Time is interesting though, and every moment has an impact on something in future. And that doesn’t mean you need to understand what that impact will be. But by thinking of your actions in the present with the knowledge that they impact your futures, you can actually take control of your own life in the present. Maybe you can’t control all of your own futures in the moment. But if nothing else, you can make some part of some future more likely by an action now.

person on couch under sign saying proof

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I proved this to myself. I took small actions. If I couldn’t think of something to do, I had something I set myself to do automatically. One thing I found was that if I gave myself something to do every time I couldn’t think of something, I did a lot less of the things I didn’t like about myself. So I started drinking bottles of water. I told myself that if I didn’t have anything to do in a moment and I started wandering, I would just grab a bottle of water.

dummy appearing to stand over toilet

Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

I had to pee a lot. But also, it made it a lot easier to stop doing things I didn’t like doing. It started breaking the cycles I was letting myself get caught up in. And once I started breaking some cycles, there was a cascade effect. Cycles started breaking everywhere. And then my future became less clear, but also much brighter.

So where am I now? I am a work in progress. But I feel truly happy for the first time in a long time. And I was able to break my timeline. And I had, to me, a life-changing thought. Why didn’t I reach out for help earlier? And it was because I was looking for the map when I was already lost. We need to start addressing mental health not as optional, but as mandatory. It is just as important to get your mental health in line as it is your physical health.

Now for my other life-changing thought. What if we weren’t meant to deal with our thoughts on our own? What if humans at some point lost the ability to fully communicate with others, but their brains are wired to do exactly that. We all have shared experiences. But why should anyone have to learn something that someone else already has? If we freely communicate, we get to clearly discuss thoughts and feelings as we have them. Then things don’t build up. I think the key to better mental health is to talk about it. So I am doing so. Please feel free to reach out and ask me anything. I don’t think I have all the answers. But given a question, I know where to start looking.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40956709)

these 'people' are voluntarily insensate and should be harvested for bioelectricity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4628848&forum_id=2#40958329)