Upon receiving “performance reviews” at the age of 40
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Date: May 10th, 2024 10:13 AM Author: White appetizing resort
Yelled last night to tell my kid to go to bed. My wife yelled back that it was only 10 pm and the kid still had homework to do.
I said, he needs to go to bed, its a school night. He yelled, I can't dad, I have this math assignment to finish. And then my wife say, Yeah, this class counts toward his High School gpa!
Exasperated, I shouted back, If he's a McDonalds manager at age 40 because he didnt sleep enough don't blame me! Then everyone laughed like I was joking but I'm not.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5527081&forum_id=2#47650313) |
Date: May 10th, 2024 11:10 AM Author: mischievous comical messiness affirmative action
Only had those in one job, thank God. And it only happened once.
Fresh out of undergrad I took a MFH sales job, in order to get to NYC. Big fancy famous company. This was the 90s and MFH was wonderful. I would stay out all night, wandering and drinking and exploring downtown. Then I'd put on one of my two suits and go to the job on Park Ave and sweat out my hangover through "training". Training lasted like 6 weeks and you received 100% salary, which was way more than I had ever earned and more than I needed.
After training you got like 60% salary and were expected to make much more in commissions. They would threaten salesmen with "sending you back to training", as if that were some punishment but I always thought that'd be wonderful. Just collect the 100%.
Anyway, training came to an end and we got our territories and were shoved out the door to sell.
Sometimes I tried, but often I slept in central park if I was hungover and if it was sunny. Id roll my suit jacket up as a little pillow and I knew several good spots.
Anyways, they ALWAYS talked up these annual performance reviews. They wanted all the salesforce, esp the noobs, to be really terrified of these meetings and to be motivated to have great numbers.
My whole little squad of noobs had ours the same day. I was like fourth in line. On my team there were two hot israeli girls; a black dude from the absolute hood in Brooklyn, but who got a basketball scholarship to Oberlin (lol), and who was really trying to clean himself up; and a Puerto Rican with a pencil mustache who once told me only women are permitted to use umbrellas, men get wet.
I was sitting in my cubicle as one jewish girl and then the other came running out of their reviews, crying. Face all red, tits all heaving. I was hungover as shit, probably a little drunk still, and couldnt believe my eyes. Wtf was happening in there?
Next the black guy came out. He and I were kinda cool with each other. We talked about rap music and sometimes even played basketball on weekends. I pulled him over and said, "Jermaine, wtf, what is going on in there?" I was touching his arm. He moved his head real slow, to stare at where I was touching him, and then turned his head back to me with sincere disdain. "Hands. Off. Nigga."
Then I was called in.
There was our manager -- and holy shit, the fucking Manhattan VP of the company -- and holy fuck, a police officer.
The manager and VP were black women. The VP liked to collect artifacts from slavery, and I had been told that her office had like old rusty shackles and whips and shit.
Anyway, they bade me sit, and started asking questions. Apparently someone had slid a letter under the manager's door over the weekend calling her nigger and saying all kinds of mean things. They were certain it came from our team. The women were rageful, barely able to speak articulately. But at one point the cop interrupted.
"WHAT DO YOUSE CALL IT," he barked, "WHEN YOU DO BETTA THAN THE OTHA GUY, AND ITS LIKE DIS?" He held one finger up and rotated his other hand around the finger.
"You... run circles around someone?" I said.
They all nodded slowly.
"Were you in the office this weekend?" the VP asked me.
*motherfucking gulp*
This was before highspeed home internet. I had come in the office on Saturday to print out a whole fuckton of porn on the good office printers. lol.
"Yeah, I uh I came in to get some stuff done. Saturday morning. For a bit."
To bring this story to a resolution, I quit that day.
I never wrote any racist letter, though, I promise. lol
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5527081&forum_id=2#47650435) |
Date: May 10th, 2024 12:00 PM Author: twinkling soul-stirring international law enforcement agency pocket flask
For some reason this reminds me of a joke: young associate was called into the partners' meeting one Monday morning. He walked in, shaking in his Allen Edmonds. The oldest, meanest partner of all asked him, "Young man, have you been fucking the receptionist?" Stuttering, he said, "Why, no, no, sir, I would never do or even consider doing such a thing." The grumpy old partner then said, "Good. Then you fire her."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5527081&forum_id=2#47650527)
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Date: May 10th, 2024 4:35 PM Author: Stirring set
performance reviews and being managed by others is what I live for at age 40.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5527081&forum_id=2#47651473)
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