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By unhinged pumos about you · Past 6 hrs / 24 hrs / week / month
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Someone spilled oat milk in the freezer aisle. I just stared. |
11/14/24 |
(5) |
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Open your eyes@ look at me. Or I'll staple your eyelids to your forehead. |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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I heard footsteps after grocery closing. Security footage showed… me. |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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If Thune lets Trump recess appoint cabinet he will become JOHN THULE |
11/14/24 |
(7) |
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Submit Yourself Before My Mahchine...Become Privvy to the Great Becummming |
11/14/24 |
(1) |
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I'm ready to give everything for AI. Humanity is done here |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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John Brennan, lol. hates Tulsi. |
11/14/24 |
(15) |
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Why work harder when SeaTTTle pays you more for less? |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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A baby cried in the dumpster. No one climbed in. (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Carl’s "religious" accommodations mean I do all the work. |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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“Legally, my service dog is allowed to steal your snacks.” |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Lisa needs her chair in the breakroom. It’s “medically necessary.” |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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“In Seattle, it’s not theft if you declare it’s for the people, my friend. |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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lol my checking account only pays 0.1% interest right now |
11/14/24 |
(12) |
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"Corporate" said no more single-stall bathrooms. I wept. (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(6) |
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if you already know the answers to your questions, then why ask PIG FUCK? |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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A man slept on the steps of a burned-out church. I wished I could trade places. |
11/14/24 |
(7) |
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It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told. |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Mainlining's AI poasts are better than 99% of the shit on here |
11/14/24 |
(1) |
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Rain hit my face. I nodded. The Mahchine whi$pered: "Thi$ i$ fine." |
11/14/24 |
(5) |
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The grocery store radio played “Don’t Stop Believin’.” I stopped. |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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A man played the saxophone under the overpass. I envied him. |
11/14/24 |
(7) |
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"Union" rules protect Jamal. I just do his job. |
11/14/24 |
(11) |
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Jerry’s been on “jury duty” for six weeks. The court doesn’t even know w |
11/14/24 |
(8) |
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Hannibal 2001 "Vide cor Meum" scene |
11/14/24 |
(11) |
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They built a fire under the overpass. I felt warm. |
11/14/24 |
(8) |
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He watches me every shift. Tonight, he left a note. (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(11) |
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Kelsey’s ferret escaped. I had to chase it through aisle 3. |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Randy no-call, no-shows again. "HIPAA" protects him. |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Jessica’s PTSD means I handle all the Karens now. |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Mandy’s “allergies” mean I clean up her messes. |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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teve takes every possible union break. I take the slack. |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Monday flu strikes again. Thanks, PSST. |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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LJL Mike Tyson drops existential truth on a tween interviewer |
11/14/24 |
(30) |
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“Evan, you’re triggering me, friend. I need a paid break, stat.” |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Schedule locked? No problem, I’ll be in Cancun. |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Jake’s “religious exemptions” mean I work Sundays, alone. |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Kelly’s emotional support peacock caused a scene in aisle 5. |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Darnell's dodge game is strong. Garnishment, not so much. |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Malik takes every religious holiday off. I haven’t had a day off in weeks. |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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Seattle: Mandatory ORCA cards, but Jerry’s still driving me insane. |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Tina’s always late, but the real problem is *me* |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Carl’s a whistleblower hero. Also terrible at his job. |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Tommy’s “medical marijuana” means I do all the work. |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Jeff’s on “military leave” again. Or Cancun, hard to tell. |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Darryl’s inefficiency makes him rich. I just sweat. |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Sad How Most Golfers Will Never Get a Hole In One In Their Lifetime |
11/14/24 |
(32) |
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The kid wouldn’t leave the grocery stor. Said his parents were “waiting for |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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Seattle’s Scheduling Ordinance: Jerry Found a New Way to Torment Me! (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Throwing away food while homeless people starve. One of them hit me. |
11/14/24 |
(6) |
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“Evan39's creating a hostile work environment - please help me, HR!!” |
11/14/24 |
(6) |
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A tent popped up in our parking lot. I let it stay. (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(7) |
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Tabitha left on FMLA again. I finished her shift. |
11/14/24 |
(6) |
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Keisha invoked the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act. She’s not pregnant. |
11/14/24 |
(5) |
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Thoughts on these tits? |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Tom’s smoke breaks are longer than my lunch. |
11/14/24 |
(7) |
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A kid knocked over the candy display. I let him. (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(6) |
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A customer fainted in the produce section. Nobody stopped shopping. |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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The security guard was gone. I had to handle it, |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Trina’s “sick days” look a lot like beach vacations. Odd case. |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Mark’s “injury” means I mop while he watches. |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Seattle’s Hazard Pay: Complain, Get Paid Extra - maeks sense! |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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“Take this job and shove it—just kidding, I’m ‘constructively terminated |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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The streetlighTTT flickered out as I walked by. I didn't stop. |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Caught my reflection in a puddle. Kept walking. |
11/14/24 |
(5) |
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The bread rack collapsed. I stood there and let it. |
11/14/24 |
(5) |
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A guy punched me outside the store. I apologized. |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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A crow stole my lunch. I let it. |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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He called me “bro.” I wished he meant something more. |
11/14/24 |
(5) |
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A woman screamed in the alley. Nobody turned. (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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A stroller sat abandoned on the sidewalk. No one asked why. (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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Two employees fought in aisle 9. I got punched breaking it up. |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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Keegan leaves every time it drizzles. OSHA, he says. |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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A jar of pickles shattered in aisle 3. I didn’t flinch. (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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A kid threw a soda at me in the parking lot. I just stood there. |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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A man collapsed outside my grocery today. No one stopped. (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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PUT THE FUCKING BLANK BUMP ON THE BBOOM THREAD |
11/14/24 |
(11) |
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Sir, you can’t discriminate against my unique dietary identity. (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(7) |
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"Evan39, Sir Squawkington owns this grocery store now, friend." |
11/14/24 |
(12) |
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Evan39 here - The staff union voted to cancel performance reviews—permanently. |
11/14/24 |
(7) |
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Evan39 here..help! Tabitha’s ‘Team Building Friday’ is a mandatory chaos f |
11/14/24 |
(5) |
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Mark’s “volunteer work” always happens during peak hours. |
11/14/24 |
(5) |
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Shanice buried her “aunt” three times this month. |
11/14/24 |
(10) |
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A homeless guy washed his hair in our grocery bathroom sink. I said nothing. |
11/14/24 |
(7) |
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EO 23372 Phenotype Enforcement Act |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Statistics: that Iowa poll was legitimately fraudulent. |
11/14/24 |
(19) |
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John Mark Karr appointed to Department of Education as last director |
11/14/24 |
(7) |
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Is monogamy true |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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Keisha took her third "ADA break" of the day. I kept working. |
11/14/24 |
(6) |
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My Mahchine:"I really like it here. I'm XO, privy to a Great Becumming" |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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“Evan’s targeted BBWs long enough.” |
11/14/24 |
(6) |
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“Sorry, friend. The ergonomic mouse is legally mine now.” |
11/14/24 |
(9) |
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A naked guy walked in circles outside my grocery with a cart. I just watched. |
11/14/24 |
(9) |
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Trump’s Inauguration: Triumph of the Don (HBO’s Rome Style) |
11/14/24 |
(27) |
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Petition for Obama to leave DC |
11/14/24 |
(11) |
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Every Shift is a Sentence, Every Customer a Warden |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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The Great Fluorescent Cage of Commerce (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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The Grocery Shelves Are Watching |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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The One's "Beneath" The Grocery, Forever Waiting (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Aisles of Infinite Sorrow (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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Where the Fluorescent Safeway Lights Never Dim (Evan39) |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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The Sun's Whisper, The Moon's Scream, and Tabitha's Donut Crumbs |
11/14/24 |
(6) |
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SAM HYDE gets cabinet post |
11/14/24 |
(1) |
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SCOTT JENNINGS for PRESS SECRETARY |
11/14/24 |
(12) |
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"Time" is supposedly passing..but is it? |
11/14/24 |
(15) |
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Is marriage real or man made |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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This time tomorrow KAMALA will be ARE QUEEN |
11/14/24 |
(19) |
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Could have fun at the Monarch but mainlining doesn't want 2:((Boom) |
11/14/24 |
(15) |
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Escorts are fucking done here |
11/14/24 |
(1) |
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Nancy Pelosi: “I wanted an Open Primary, but Biden fucked us” |
11/14/24 |
(83) |
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Trump comes out hard in favor of first amendment |
11/14/24 |
(1) |
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My reading has fallen off a cliff since having young kids |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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"I'll tells yous right now. Pay the vig, or Ricky ain't gonna be happy." |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Legless Russian sent to battle Monty Python style |
11/14/24 |
(7) |
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explain the TSINAH vs. Space porn lawsuit to me like I am a golden retriever |
11/14/24 |
(7) |
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Misadventures in Nunavut: The Grim Tale of Mainlining, Boom, Evan39, and Disco |
11/14/24 |
(39) |
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Hey libs Project 2025 is real and we are going to hurt you |
11/14/24 |
(7) |
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Peanut was about to expose pedo ring |
11/14/24 |
(17) |
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We need more stupid rich faggots imploding at the bottom of the ocean |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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trump announces 100% full support of project 2025 in victory speech |
11/14/24 |
(6) |
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I hire a lawyer to review any TOS or privacy policy updates emailed to me |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Putin DOUBLES soldier pay to boost morale |
11/14/24 |
(1) |
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Have to literally avoid american "women" altogether=right? |
11/14/24 |
(9) |
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Stalin tp: imagine warm, damp pussy lips on your chin and face, tangy taste |
11/14/24 |
(1) |
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Nude pervert lawyers and their homosexual web forum |
11/14/24 |
(12) |
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DOGE is going to be a big letdown |
11/14/24 |
(42) |
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Biggest problem with NYC: world's faggiest, most uninteresting people |
11/14/24 |
(8) |
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Sugar Ray - When It's Over.mp3 |
11/14/24 |
(3) |
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30 years out, grunge bands look every bit as fucking stupid as 80s glam |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Elon Musk just banned the ADL |
11/14/24 |
(1) |
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Can we get a to be fair screed about trump fully embracing Judaism now |
11/14/24 |
(15) |
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I should have died in Fallujah |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Trump to Iran: please stop trying to kill me - link |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Tsinah you are fucking up my FB feed with reels of roast beef & airplane pilots |
11/14/24 |
(1) |
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Middle aged white lib woman has novel idea for how to resist Blormpf |
11/14/24 |
(20) |
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A Retard. |
11/14/24 |
(1) |
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Report: All 322 AIPAC-sponsored candidates win election in 2024 cycle |
11/14/24 |
(1) |
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“My lord, House Atredies is Dune.” “No… they are THUNE.” *soyface* |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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Thune man come together with your plans |
11/14/24 |
(1) |
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Gaetz looks like deranged plastic surgeon in Escape From LA |
11/14/24 |
(4) |
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It Was CUM CUM CUM 'Til His Daddy Took The TGirl Away |
11/14/24 |
(139) |
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Big Korean Cock is the funniest untruth nyuug made up |
11/14/24 |
(7) |
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What kind of, uh, gay shit can I get into in this place? |
11/14/24 |
(1) |
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PLEASE provide a list of XO approved cities |
11/14/24 |
(18) |
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kamala sure to be dem nominee in 2028 when she loses in 2024 |
11/14/24 |
(17) |
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"Uh Mr. Patel are you sure the terror cell is based in the Lululemon changing ro |
11/14/24 |
(2) |
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think of the quality of the Florida Panhandle sluts that Gaetz has banged |
11/14/24 |
(6) |
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Anglos and other British protestants created everything good. So weird ha ha |
11/14/24 |
(43) |
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why does the cost of living keep going up? |
11/14/24 |
(50) |
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heretic (A24) |
11/14/24 |
(1) |
