Date: April 2nd, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: (*)> (i'm in your city)
lmao the NYT literally wrote a story about this thread today. NYT Lurkers: reveal yourselves
Lost Friendships, Broken Relationships: How the War in Iran Is Dividing the Diaspora
Amid months of protest, repression and war in their native country, Iranians living abroad are navigating their biggest rifts yet.
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Osveh Varastegan, wearing a red sweatshirt and black athletic pants, sits in a gym. Weights and other equipment are behind her.
Osveh Varastegan, who left Iran in 2020, at the gym where she works as a personal trainer in Rotterdam, the Netherlands.Credit...Ilvy Njiokiktjien for The New York Times
By Yeganeh Torbati and Sanam Mahoozi
April 2, 2026, 5:22 a.m. ET
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When Osveh Varastegan left Iran in 2020, feeling stifled by the stringent restrictions on women there, she moved to the Netherlands and pursued her passion of being a personal trainer. In her new home, she joined solidarity protests in 2022 in support of the antigovernment demonstrations in Iran.
Yet in the weeks leading up to the U.S.-Israeli bombardment of Iran, she saw that some of her fellow Iranians in the diaspora were calling for foreign military intervention to incite regime change in Tehran, and felt compelled to speak out.
“I want the Islamic republic to disappear immediately, but I don’t believe this is the way,” Ms. Varastegan said.
She posted her views on her public Instagram account, where her more than 80,000 followers usually get tips on their squat form and nutrition. In return, she has received hostile, insulting messages to her private inbox, as well as messages of support thanking her for her stance.
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A woman wearing a chador looks out from the ruined wall of an apartment building.
A woman standing amid the rubble of an apartment that was damaged by U.S.-Israeli airstrikes in Tehran.Credit...Arash Khamooshi for The New York Times
Ms. Varastegan, who shared screenshots of some of the messages she received, said that some Iranian clients had dropped her as a trainer, saying she was playing into the hands of the Iranian government.
“This has had a very negative impact” on her relationships, she said. “I’ve lost friendships without even having arguments. People simply cut me off because they knew my stance.”
Ms. Varastegan’s experience is a snapshot of a dynamic playing out across a far-flung, fractious community of millions who were born in Iran but now live outside its borders.
The views held among the Iranian diaspora about what is best for their home country are diverse and passionately held, and often forged in difficult experiences they had while living in Iran.
Even among those who agree that Iran’s Islamic authoritarian government must go, there have long been deep disagreements about how to achieve that goal, what form Iran’s next government should take and who is to blame for Iran’s current predicament. Those debates are also happening inside the country.
The division within the diaspora has deepened in recent months, with far less room for nuanced discussion. Friendships and business relationships have ended over differing views about the war, and vicious insults have been exchanged online.
Some Iranians in the diaspora have simply avoided talking to loved ones about geopolitics, hoping to prevent irreparable rifts. Others worry that expressing their true opinions will get them labeled pro-war or pro-regime.
“This is not a healthy environment,” said Nima Shokri, an Iranian-born academic living in Germany. “People are kind of scared of clearly explaining their point of view.”
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Scores of people surround a fire burning in the middle of a road at night. Many cars and trucks are at a standstill.
An antigovernment protest in Tehran in January.Credit...Getty Images
For those opposed to the current government, the stakes have never felt higher. In January, they were glued to their phones during the mass antigovernment protests. Now, they spend their days constantly checking news coverage of the war.
A continuing internet blackout imposed by the Iranian government on its citizens has meant that those in the diaspora are rarely able to check on family and friends in the country. They hope for the best and try to avoid imagining the worst.
Ms. Varastegan, for instance, used to speak to her mother in Iran for hours each week.
Now, she said, “I don’t know what she’s doing, how scared she is.”
Over the course of the demonstrations, which began late December, the Iranian government killed close to 7,000 antigovernment protesters, according to a rights group that tracked the violence. The brutal crackdown convinced some Iranians that there was no way to unseat the Islamic republic without outside intervention.
At the time of the protests, some Iranians welcomed promises made by President Trump to back the protesters with U.S. military force. Others viewed that as inviting disaster upon the country.
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A man bends down to inspect a body bag while another man looks at his phone. Dozens of other body bags and people standing among them are in the background.
A screenshot from social media shows bodies in body bags outside a morgue in Tehran in January. The Iranian government killed about 7,000 antigovernment protesters, according to a rights group that tracked the violence.Credit...Social Media/UGC, via Reuters
Samira, an Iranian small business owner living in Britain and a client of Ms. Varastegan, said she was reluctantly in favor of the military action as the only way to dislodge a regime impervious to decades of popular demands for change. She asked to be identified by only her first name to avoid endangering her family in Iran.
Samira, who said she respected Ms. Varastegan and her views, cut ties with two friends after disagreeing with their reaction to the January protests.
She said that one of the friends, an Iranian, posted bikini and food pictures on Instagram on the same day that many families were mourning those killed in the protests. The other friend, whose husband is Iranian, remained silent about the crackdown despite posting frequently about the killing of civilians in Gaza.
The past few months have even caused tensions between Samira and her husband, who is not Iranian. She said she felt he did not initially understand why she was so emotionally entangled with the events unfolding in Iran.
Bashir Sadjad, a software engineer in Waterloo, Canada, organizes rallies against the Iranian government in his city but is opposed to the war. He said he doubted the intentions behind the U.S.-Israeli assault and did not believe it had the potential to change the regime.
The first day of the war, he said, left him with intensely mixed feelings. On the one hand, Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, had been killed. Yet on the same day, an errant U.S. airstrike killed dozens of schoolgirls in the town of Minab.
“Even those who were celebrating were sad,” Mr. Sadjad said. “This is not what we wanted for our country.”
There was also growing polarization, he said, among what he called the “freedom camp,” people who as recently as three years ago were working together to organize antigovernment protests outside Iran.
Some opponents of the war say that members of the diaspora who protested the January massacres and called for military intervention are now partly to blame for the conflict, while some of those in favor of intervention accuse the antiwar camp of being insufficiently against the regime.
Some Iranians blame the intensity of divisions among the diaspora on supporters of Reza Pahlavi, the exiled 65-year-old son of the deposed shah who fled during the 1979 revolution.
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Reza Pahlavi, wearing a dark suit and a tie, standing at a lectern on a stage adorned with the CPAC logo.
Reza Pahlavi speaking during the Conservative Political Action Conference in Texas last month.Credit...Desiree Rios for The New York Times
Mr. Pahlavi has presented himself as the leader of Iran’s opposition, and he and his advisers point to the fact that protesters in Iran in January chanted slogans in his support.
Unlike previous protests that swept Iran in the last two decades, the nationwide demonstrations this year were the first to see widespread use of pro-monarchy chants, such as “long live the shah.” Many protesters called for Mr. Pahlavi’s return, though close observers of Iran still debate whether the popularity of these chants reflects a genuine desire to restore the Pahlavi dynasty, or if Mr. Pahlavi is simply a figurehead to rally around in rejection of the Islamic republic.
Many of his supporters point out that other opposition movements have failed to put forward a unifying alternative. Given the lack of options, Mr. Pahlavi’s supporters say, to reject or criticize him is tantamount to helping Iran’s government stay in power.
And a number of Iranians opposed to the government, not just Pahlavi supporters, take part in a form of purity politics, harshly criticizing people who have previously worked for the Islamic republic, believed in its capacity to reform or voted in its elections.
Supporters of Mr. Pahlavi have aggressively gone after his critics and opposition members outside their movement. On the more extreme end, this instinct has led some to engage in virtual or real-life harassment and vitriol, sometimes even threatening violence. One slogan heard sometimes at pro-Pahlavi gatherings is “either death or Pahlavi.”
Videos circulating on social media in recent weeks have shown apparent Pahlavi supporters outside Iran accosting Iranians for not carrying the country’s pre-revolution flag at protests or not displaying it in their businesses.
Shirin Behvandi, a member of the Iranian diaspora living in the United Arab Emirates, described herself as a Pahlavi supporter who favors military action because she sees no other way to get rid of the Iranian government.
It was not enough to say that “war is bad” without offering other solutions, she said. “I believe they are playing into the regime’s hands,” she added.
Ms. Behvandi acknowledged that some Pahlavi supporters could be vitriolic online, though she cautioned that bad behavior exists in every group. “If I want democracy, I must practice it first,” she said. “I hope we can all reach a point where we learn to be tolerant and express ourselves properly.”
Some Iranians are trying to have nuanced conversations among themselves. In mid-March, Mr. Shokri, the academic in Germany, sat down to dinner with three close friends, all of whom were, like him, Iranian-born academics living in Europe.
For three hours, they talked about the war, what factors had led to it and what a way out might look like. They debated a wide range of possible solutions. They came to no sure conclusions, Mr. Shokri said, but it still felt like a breath of fresh air.
Mr. Shokri recounted that one of the friends had made sure to come despite having a packed day: “He said, ‘I wanted to make sure to come for the dinner because I just needed to talk, I’ve been going crazy.’”
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5852356&forum_id=2",#49788953)