https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2026/06/25/realestate/bay-area-oakland-berkeley-real-estate-homes-prices.html

Three Women Wanted to Start a Family in the Bay Area. Could They Find a House to Do It In?

Mark Kreidler

8–10 minutes

From left, Lillian Whithaus, Anita Brown and Treva Obbard wanted a three-bedroom or four-bedroom home where they could put down roots and start a family.

Gabriela Hasbun for The New York Times

It’s hard enough for two people to make a life-altering decision about buying a home. Mix in a third, and you’ve got a recipe for anarchy.

But Lillian Whithaus, Anita Brown and Treva Obbard seem to have it figured out. “We consider ourselves a family unit,” said Ms. Whithaus, 29, from Davis, Calif. “Maybe the best way to say it is that Anita is my fiancée, and then Treva is our partner and friend, collectively.”

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In 2018, when Ms. Whithaus and Ms. Brown returned to the San Francisco Bay Area after college in Pennsylvania, a couple of realities set in: They were headed toward a committed relationship, and they were going to need a place to live. They were also going to need some help affording one. So they called up Ms. Obbard, a friend of Ms. Brown’s from high school in nearby Albany, Calif., figuring that the three of them could pool enough rent money for a decent place.

The money mattered. But the three also found they were a good fit in terms of temperament and interests, like their shared love of reading and of “Dungeons and Dragons,” games of which they hosted each week with groups of friends.

As they bounced around a few shared rentals, Ms. Whithaus and Ms. Brown, 29, came to regard Ms. Obbard, 31, as an essential part of their long-term future. That included home ownership — and, someday, family. “We’re all looking forward to being co-parents together,” Ms. Obbard said. “Buying a house was really the first of a two-part plan.”

With Ms. Whithaus and Ms. Brown both working in library science, and Ms. Obbard in the nonprofit fundraising world, the search for a home in their preferred area — in and around Oakland and Berkeley — was going to be shaped by their need to keep the monthly mortgage payment under control.

What wasn’t a problem, it turned out, was the trio’s ability to create consensus.

“It’s something they are very skilled at doing,” said Mischa Lorraine, an agent with Golden Gate Sotheby’s International Realty, who worked with the women after a referral. “They broke down decision-making processes and handed them off one to the other, and then always came back with a unified response.”

Using inheritance money from Ms. Brown and Ms. Obbard, the women had cash for a down payment. With all three chipping in, they set their budget at about $1.4 million, including any needed renovations. Their purchase would be a pure co-ownership, one-third apiece regardless of initial contributions, something all three agreed to put in writing.

By last fall, they were ready to begin looking seriously. But the Bay Area’s notoriously tight housing market had a way of quickly ratcheting sales prices upward, and their desire for a house big enough to accommodate a family, with access to mass transit, was another wrinkle in the math.

Among their options:

No. 1

Gabriela Hasbun for The New York Times

At 1,945 square feet, with four bedrooms and two baths, this bright blue house in one of Berkeley’s most sought-after areas was large enough to accommodate future growth. A large, tiled family room featured a skylight, the living room had a huge picture window, and the formal dining space could be used for game night. The property included a wired studio in the backyard and a one-car garage, and the neighborhood was top-rated for walkability and access to transit. There was work to be done: The kitchen and bathrooms needed some updating, the foundation needed shoring up, and plumbing and wiring work was also likely. It was listed at $1.095 million, with taxes estimated at $18,400.

Andersen, Jung & Co.

No. 2

Gabriela Hasbun for The New York Times

“Somebody spent a lot of time and money making it a beautiful home,” Ms. Whithaus said of this three-bedroom, two-bath, Craftsman-style from 1912 in Oakland’s historic Temescal neighborhood. Though a bit smaller than what the three wanted at 1,447 square feet, the house was move-in ready with upgraded hardwood flooring and fixtures, an open living-dining room, rebuilt bathrooms, and a beautifully redesigned kitchen and breakfast nook. A separate studio unit opened to a private, tiled backyard with plenty of space for entertaining. At $995,000, the home appeared to be deliberately underpriced, meaning that a bidding war was likely. Annual taxes were about $18,000.

Compass

No. 3

Gabriela Hasbun for The New York Times

Built in 1924, this multifamily home comprised two separate spaces covering 1,652 square feet — an updated one-bedroom, one-bath unit with a bonus area, and an unrenovated two-bedroom, one-bath unit. The three women loved the Berkeley location and the home’s large common spaces. A small deck out back stepped down to a paved yard. Because it was built as a duplex, they’d need to knock down a wall to convert it into a single home, which would require a permitting process, plus the cost of renovating the larger side. But its appeal in every other way “changed our minds about fixer-uppers,” Ms. Brown said. It was listed at $989,000, with annual taxes estimated at $17,600.

Golden Gate Sotheby's International Realty

Find out what happened next by answering these two questions:

Which Would You Choose?

35%

Big Blue House in Poet’s Corner

40%

Beautifully Updated in North Oakland

25%

Duplex in the Heart of Berkeley

Which Did They Buy?

27%

Big Blue House in Poet’s Corner

18%

Beautifully Updated in North Oakland

55%

Duplex in the Heart of Berkeley

Gabriela Hasbun for The New York Times

THEIR HOME:

No. 1: Big Blue House in Poet’s Corner

The Berkeley duplex “was the first house we really got excited about,” Ms. Whithaus said, in part because all three could envision how well the place would work once they converted it into a single home. Because renovations were needed, they made an offer with contingencies — and were surprised to be beaten out by another bidder at $1.03 million.

Gabriela Hasbun for The New York Times

Ms. Whithaus, Ms. Brown and Ms. Obbard liked the Craftsman-style in North Oakland. A neighborhood baby party on the day they visited added to the vibe, but in the end, they preferred the big house in Poet’s Corner.

The first thing they noticed was the light, and on a recent day in Berkeley, a midmorning sun sent rays beaming through the downstairs. The home’s older decor also suited all three women’s tastes, and they’d have enough to spend what they needed on upgrades and renovations.

Gabriela Hasbun for The New York Times

They made an initial offer near the $1.095 million list price, but competition was stiff. “At least one of them was all cash,” Ms. Brown said, so at Ms. Lorraine’s suggestion the women quickly upped their bid. They landed the property at the end of February for $1.18 million.

“One thing that sort of crept up on us was that we realized we would be willing to spend more money overall for a house we really like,” said Ms. Obbard. The goal, they all said, was to move in for the long haul, not a quick flip.

Gabriela Hasbun for The New York Times

After spending another $250,000 to $300,000 on the foundation, plumbing and wiring upgrades, the trio moved in this month. Ms. Whithaus said she wants to get pregnant either this fall or early next year, so the decision to choose a larger home may quickly pay a dividend. The three, who all will continue to work after starting their family, will request to be listed as co-parents on the child’s birth certificate under California’s “three-parent law.”

Gabriela Hasbun for The New York Times

“We all felt like we were looking for our ‘adult’ home, and we were enamored of this neighborhood,” said Ms. Whithaus. “But it was also that we felt like this was the place where we could start to develop this new family identity — together.”

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