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people are terrified of falling in love
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Date: March 6th, 2026 2:30 PM Author: .... -^^,--,~.... it's really bad out there, no one wants to be vulnerable at all any more, I fear for the future of the human race
as someone who was insulated from dating for the entire span of app dating by being happily married and has now been THRUST into it against my will by an Act of God, it's like I crawled out of a nuclear bunker into a wasteland. it's awful. |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 2:33 PM Author: Roberto Bolano "has now been THRUST into it against my will by an Act of God, it's like I crawled out of a nuclear bunker into a wasteland. it's awful."
What happened, pumo? |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 2:59 PM Author: .... -^^,--,~.... not a pumo, a punanimal
my wife died |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:24 PM Author: Lab Diamond Dallas Trump gonna need some backstory. how long ago?
i had a similar journey. married first gf ---> divorce ---> in 30s learning to "date" for the first time
but that was all precovid and i'm sure things are even more fucked up now |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:27 PM Author: .... -^^,--,~.... widowed after nearly eighteen years of marriage last year (we got married young), no kids. I only started dating again pretty recently. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721606) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:30 PM Author: Lab Diamond Dallas Trump Was it a good marriage/devastating loss, or bad marriage so you were sort of indifferent? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721624) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:42 PM Author: .... -^^,--,~.... no, it was a wonderful marriage, but we had a lot of time to prepare for the end (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721654) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:39 PM Author: Roblox wtf, how? did you kill her? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721649) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:43 PM Author: my thoughts exactly i think your confusing falling in love (which is fine and can be great) with dating (which is the worst thing a human being can be subject to, you might as well kill youself tomorrow and avoid it altogether if that is a viable option). if you are now being forced to be 'out there' again, meet people organically, not on-line. Satan runs on-line dating, hth |
Date: March 6th, 2026 2:31 PM Author: yoshke walks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIcwMgLiRDc (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721369) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 2:32 PM Author: John Poaster men figured out that women can't and don't unconditionally love them and so they've become justifiably afraid of allowing their own genuine affection to be taken advantage of
a lot of present-day criticism of women is exaggerated but this really is true and there's no way "around it" or way to "fix it." the genie is out of the bottle and it can't be put back in again |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 2:35 PM Author: spiritually female godfather (gunneratttt) people figured this out before recorded history. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721390) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 2:38 PM Author: John Poaster yeah but women were dependent de facto property with no rights so it wasn't an issue. it was nbd to commit to and love a woman because she had no choice but to stay with you
modernity re-created them as interchangeable equals with males, and males grew up being taught this and believed what they were taught. now they've figured out that this isn't true and have adjusted accordingly |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 2:41 PM Author: spiritually female godfather (gunneratttt) okay cr. but this is more of a return to ancient wisdom than something new.
future generations may be thankful we experimented with this shit so they know not to make the same mistakes |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 2:47 PM Author: John Poaster https://arctotherium.substack.com/p/review-of-j-d-unwins-sex-and-culture
there's lots of Real Scholarship about this stuff but people just want to Cope instead with their various self-serving Copes |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:20 PM Author: .... -^^,--,~.... your first sentence simply is not true, so the rest does not matter (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721574) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:24 PM Author: John Poaster oh boy
good luck out there, Champ. being sincere and not sarcastic btw |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:26 PM Author: .... -^^,--,~.... it's not like I haven't experienced it! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721605) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 2:33 PM Author: Consuela Should we fall in love with Emma Watson (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721379) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 2:34 PM Author: A Mario 64 tapestry: a portal to Windows XP Bliss: Modernity is 180 tp (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721381) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 2:34 PM Author: spiritually female godfather (gunneratttt) if not flame, im sorry.
try not to get jaded. thats the ultimate source of all this. its hard to be hopeful when appdating has commodified love, and so many people treat others like a fungible product they can pick up and dispose of like everything else in todays world.
ive known many that wound up very happy because they stayed positive. shit sucks but if you let that change you you become part of why it sucks. |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 2:38 PM Author: incel adams this would get so many upvotes (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721407) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:10 PM Author: my thoughts exactly (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721732) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:02 PM Author: .... -^^,--,~.... I am a positive person and ultimately a romantic so I am kind of insulated from cynicism. I am mostly very sad for a lot of the women I have met so far. I also have met one sensible person already that I have some hope for. But it's bad, and it really did not strike me how bad it was until entering this arena, even though I have been "successful" at it so far (getting matches/dates, etc). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721517) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:28 PM Author: Lab Diamond Dallas Trump My #1 tip if ur a sensitive little bitch is that if you like a girl, you need to focus on trying to FUCK her rather than on trying to make her your GF. paradoxically, you have a better chance of making her your GF if your primary focus is getting laid.
ADDENDUM: The above applies to app dates and is how I eventually had numerous options to pick from and got married again. If I were single right now, I probably would not be going through the app process at all. I would be trying to meet someone through church. Scan crowd and look for women sitting alone in consecutive weeks. |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:32 PM Author: spiritually female godfather (gunneratttt) i hear you brother. i was with the same woman from high school to almost 30. it's a double whammy where people are way more jaded these days and good women get scooped at fast so you're often sorting through the bargain bin looking for a diamond in the rough.
i feel the exact same way as you about the women. many guys quickly become resentful and start hating them. but theyve been led to this primarily by men. keep your chin up, ime people like you find happiness quickly whereas the blackpillers are a self-fulfilling prophesy of misery. |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 2:47 PM Author: Randy Fine Ate My Son ((zurich is stained)) op, is your monkior a fox? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721446) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:02 PM Author: .... -^^,--,~.... yes I am foxmo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721519) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:45 PM Author: computer online (🧐) ^________________^ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721659) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:20 PM Author: Frutiger Aero it's 180. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721575) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:21 PM Author: michael doodikoff been posting about this for years. Still trying to keep a "positive" attitude, but its increasingly hard to stay that way. in some ways, for me at least, app dating has gotten a lot worse in the past year+ or so. Like it was always shitty, but kind of the same for years, win some lose some, etc etc, but something changed IME around a little more than a year ago.
I still get similar amounts of "matches," but the % that I am able to meet for an actual date has plummeted and the attention I get from them when we do match has decreased. Sure, I am older etc, maybe that plays into it, but I suspect that the overall culture of this stuff has been ruined and people are figuring this fact out.
If I match with what seems like a genuinely good girl, not piece of shit tramp, etc, I like to talk to them on the phone first and then met them for a date after - I used to get dates 100% of the time with this, and I think it helped them be more comfortable on the first date. But recently a bunch of girls that I had perfectly "fine" phone calls with found excuses to not meet up and ghost. Maybe I have aspergers that I didn't know about, but I tend to get along well with people IRL, including women.
I just got ghosted a couple days ago by a girl that I got along with very well on our date last week - like no indication at all that it went anywhere but positive, etc etc and she just peaced out.
I get the impression from lots of women (both that I meet on these apps, and the tons of single female friends that I know) that they are sick of this whole thing too, and don't really put a lot of faith into it anymore. So the earnest morons like me, who do try to go into dates with good intent, get fucked hard because the women just don't give a fuck anymore and treat all of the guys as disposable turds.
I mean, it was always bad out there, but it is currently the worst I have experienced, you literally can't trust that you will see the person again even after a really good date, kiss, etc. |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:29 PM Author: .... -^^,--,~.... I'm sorry, brother. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721614) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:29 PM Author: yoshke walks hook up with gamer girls on steam (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721615) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:34 PM Author: Frutiger Aero tp (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721638) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:32 PM Author: .,.,...,..,.,..:,,:,......,;:.,.:..:.,:,::,. Sorry bro. I've heard this from other friends. If you're really looking for lifetime companionship and maybe kids someday, you may want to consider dating a couple points below your usual matches. Go for a chubby or even slightly ugly 5-6 and just work with her. She'll be more enthusiastic than the 7-8 types you usually date. If you're already striking out with the 5-6 range then go even lower. I've seen this work because the guys get over their ego of thinking they have to have a beautiful girl despite all the baggage that comes with it and the girls are genuinely thrilled because they feel like they got their handsome prince and they want to hold on to him no matter what. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721631) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:40 PM Author: Lab Diamond Dallas Trump I'm sure dating is objectively shitty these days but you also have to maintain some level of agency. Lots of poasters have given you lots of advice over the years and you generally ignored it to do your own thing.
>>>I just got ghosted a couple days ago by a girl that I got along with very well on our date last week - like no indication at all that it went anywhere but positive, etc etc and she just peaced out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you didn't make any kind of real move on her and she "didn't feel a spark." Maybe she didn't say that to you, but "didn't feel a spark" is what she's telling her friends |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:16 PM Author: .... -^^,--,~.... tbf to the guy above "feeling a spark" is not really a fair criterion for a first date between strangers. most cases need more familiarity for that to really start up. the bar that should be cleared is, "did I enjoy spending time with this person?" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721751) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:33 PM Author: Lab Diamond Dallas Trump Doesn't matter if it's fair, that's how most women are operating. I agree that it's unfair and even leads to worse overall outcomes for women, but when have they ever been able to adopt ANY sort of thinking process that rationally maximizes their outcomes? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721812) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 7:15 PM Author: .... -^^,--,~.... hm (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49722228) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:33 PM Author: michael doodikoff this is how i view things. Very few times am I on first dates where a kiss is even realistically in the cards. I don't want to do the exhausting "kino escalate" on some chick who is already nervous on a first date and its clear that she doesn't want it. I'm a chill dude and frankly just want to get to know that person better on a first date, I'm fine with that.
Unfortunately, a lot of girls that I know openly admit that if they don't have a "fiery attraction" on the first date, they won't go on a second. That "fiery attraction" is kinda hard to generate when you go from zero about knowing someone - also why I like to call them before i go out with them.
Also there is that pesky "Are we dating the same guy" facebook group where girls post dudes and get the tea and bash the hell out of that behavior |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:53 PM Author: Lab Diamond Dallas Trump nigger it's because you literally structure and set up the date to FAIL before it even begins. I know exactly what you mean because I've been on plenty of dates that followed the same pattern and they normally went nowhere. Your achilles heel is date planning and logistics. I promise you, plenty of your dates that you thought went well but were ultimately you just talking to the chick with no physicality, and no second date resulted -- you could have fucked some of those EXACT SAME SLUTS on night 1 with proper planning and logistics. And then you could have had a second date. Those girls are feeling "fiery attraction" to someone on their first dates so clearly it isn't impossible -- someone is generating it on a first date while knowing zero about them. That someone just isn't you because you keep ignoring the advice everyone gives you. Do you even understand that attraction is often a post-hoc rationalization? Women BECOME attracted to the guys who fuck them. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721887) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:58 PM Author: Lab Diamond Dallas Trump I need to follow up:
>>> I'm a chill dude and frankly just want to get to know that person better on a first date
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WOMEN DO NOT WANT A "GETTING TO KNOW YOU BETTER" DATE? THE BAR YOU NEED TO CLEAR TO KEEP THEIR INTEREST IN MODERN APP DATING IS HIGHER THAN THAT. |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 5:15 PM Author: John Poaster we've told this to him - not flame - hundreds of times now
he is either the best flame this board has ever had or the biggest beta pussy coward this board has ever had |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 7:17 PM Author: spiritually female godfather (gunneratttt) POTUS of the simp crew and avowed woman respector and befriender here.
doodikoff problem seems to be, in part, that he thinks women are nervous lambs and that kissing them (ljl) is presumptuous and aggressive.
the reality is that women, especially the age range doodikoff is dating, want confidence and a little aggression. and they have no problem doing a cheek turn or something if a guy misreads signs and goes for a kiss anyway. but they will 100% dingfag you if you *DONT* go for it.
cant tell you how many shitlib women that have brutally, brutally mocked dates for doing stuff like asking "can i kiss you?" these are the same women that are outwardly the biggest proponents of verbal consent. |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 7:54 PM Author: Lab Diamond Dallas Trump I don't know that kiss or no-kiss even matters that much anymore. What I mean is, lots of these whores will kiss a guy they don't even really like, so it's not necessarily the bar for a second date.
My goal (once I actually knew wtf I was doing), was just to get these bitches back to my place or theirs. The logistics of the date are set up to where it's not a big ask and seems like a natural progression. Whether a kiss occurred prior to that is pretty irrelevant. You're putting yourself in an environment where it's way easier to get the first kiss, things are likely to progress way further than that (far enough to where they actually have some buy-in and are guaranteed to keep seeing you), and 90% of the chicks who aren't interested have already been screened out because they said no (allowing one to operate with more confidence).
Doodikoff's problems are not going to be solved by awkwardly going in for kisses when the date hasn't been calibrated for that to occur. |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 7:10 PM Author: spiritually female godfather (gunneratttt) "im a nice guy..."
(wait, isn't that a bad thing? well how do i say the exact same thing without getting made fun of?)
"im a CHILL DUDE..." |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 7:55 PM Author: Lab Diamond Dallas Trump A benevolent chap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49722288) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:46 PM Author: spiritually female godfather (gunneratttt) at some point you have to understand that the common denominator is you. until that happens you will keep butting tour head against the wall. all the shit you said is real, yet people manage to get through it anyway, so why haven't you?
the phone call shit is one example. ive mentioned this before. stop doing that. |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:34 PM Author: michael doodikoff I very clearly understand that I am the common denominator. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721819) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:56 PM Author: Lab Diamond Dallas Trump And once reaching that understanding, what concrete steps have you taken to change your approach? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721909) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 7:27 PM Author: spiritually female godfather (gunneratttt) how have you tried changing your approach if you recognize the issue is you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49722249) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:49 PM Author: John Poaster people here have told you what to do (accurately) for like 10 years at this point and you ignore them every single time and keep doing the opposite
i don't feel sorry for you at all and frankly you "deserve it" as much as anyone can |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:37 PM Author: norwood ultra i'm a man in my 40s and i fall in love randomly all the time because my development was stunted by my ruinous phenotype taking qs (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721647) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:42 PM Author: Lab Diamond Dallas Trump the cruel irony that those who love the most easily are the least likely to be loved (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721653) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:43 PM Author: John Poaster (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721658) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:14 PM Author: my thoughts exactly (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721745) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:51 PM Author: Frutiger Aero tp (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721881) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:55 PM Author: computer online (🧐) bald teenager tp (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721678) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:50 PM Author: ruinous phenotype (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721879) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 5:06 PM Author: fairy knight (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721937) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 3:43 PM Author: Nazca Redlines What happened to your wife?
Why no kids?
Are you terrified of falling in love? That the dating world is a wasteland in current year doesn't mean you should be terrified of falling it love, even if it might make it unlikely or difficult. |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:02 PM Author: .... -^^,--,~.... I am not terrified, I just notice people throwing up unnecessary walls, or being really guarded in ways that don't make sense. You have to be willing to get hurt a little to find anything worthwhile. That's what I keep thinking about. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721690) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:40 PM Author: Lab Diamond Dallas Trump keep in mind that every women you went out with was permanently blown out and probably had severe mental illness and it starts to make a lot more sense. to get a nice, normal woman through an app, these things all have to line up:
-she is newly dating after a history of LTRs -somehow has no dating prospects in her social circle -she hasn't been on the app long enough to get P&D or become jaded -you outcompete the chads who wanted to P&D her -You get to her before she gets fed up with the app and deletes it
It can be done, but it takes a lot of volume and effort over a period of potentially years for everything to line up just right |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:41 PM Author: OYT and the Indie Reprieve ( ) it makes perfect sense to be guarded. you are basically saying "why won't you let me hurt you, it would be so worthwhile to me!" people grow older and wiser (well most people, not you haha). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49721853) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 4:51 PM Author: Nazca Redlines What are you looking for?
Do you think those walls will come down--just a little slower than they might have in the past? Or are we so completely done here that the walls aren't coming down at all any more? |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 7:14 PM Author: .;:..;:.;.:.;.,,,..,.:,.;....;,;;;..;,..,,.,,...., What happened to your wife? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49722224) |
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Date: March 6th, 2026 7:17 PM Author: Paralegal Mohammad (Death, death to the IDF!) this is a depressing thread. i hope all you bros find love. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5842388&forum_id=2",#49722233) |