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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Exciting kitty cat
  12/03/18
...
Exciting kitty cat
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
bronze bearded church
  12/03/18
ty!
Exciting kitty cat
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
marvelous stead
  12/03/18
...
Henna Sadistic Scourge Upon The Earth Keepsake Machete
  12/24/21
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arrogant organic girlfriend becky
  12/03/18
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arrogant organic girlfriend becky
  12/24/18
...
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  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
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  12/24/18
120
sickened useless school cafeteria goyim
  12/24/18
...
Exciting kitty cat
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sickened useless school cafeteria goyim
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this was pretty good, nice work
talented idiot
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Exciting kitty cat
  07/01/19
...
arrogant organic girlfriend becky
  07/01/19
...
arrogant organic girlfriend becky
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Exciting kitty cat
  12/10/19
getting close...
Exciting kitty cat
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Exciting kitty cat
  12/24/19
...
Stirring Native Azn
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...
Exciting kitty cat
  12/24/19
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purple trailer park masturbator
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
rebellious wonderful clown
  12/24/19
...
flesh associate
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Charcoal Yapping Nowag Location
  12/24/19
lol
Exciting kitty cat
  12/24/19
This
Henna Sadistic Scourge Upon The Earth Keepsake Machete
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Orange fiercely-loyal parlour twinkling uncleanness
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ty, labor of love
Exciting kitty cat
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Exciting kitty cat
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lube up your chimneys!
Exciting kitty cat
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pure gold 180
Henna Sadistic Scourge Upon The Earth Keepsake Machete
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Exciting kitty cat
  12/16/21
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Charismatic Dopamine
  12/16/21
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  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Exciting kitty cat
  12/20/21
Lmao
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Henna Sadistic Scourge Upon The Earth Keepsake Machete
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: bronze bearded church

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: marvelous stead

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Henna Sadistic Scourge Upon The Earth Keepsake Machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: arrogant organic girlfriend becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: lavender indirect expression dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: vibrant cuckoldry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Appetizing immigrant principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: marvelous stead



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Exciting kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Razzle doobsian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: cracking frisky pocket flask



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Racy gaming laptop cuckold



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: emerald floppy hell roast beef



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat



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Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: wine titillating friendly grandma genital piercing



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Exciting kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: arrogant organic girlfriend becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Carmine Irate Sound Barrier Useless Brakes



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Sticky transparent area really tough guy

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: sickened useless school cafeteria goyim

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: sickened useless school cafeteria goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Charismatic Dopamine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Exciting kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: rambunctious point



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Charcoal Yapping Nowag Location

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Chest-beating spot



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Beta death wish



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: talented idiot

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: arrogant organic girlfriend becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: arrogant organic girlfriend becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Exciting kitty cat

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Exciting kitty cat

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Stirring Native Azn



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Exciting kitty cat



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: purple trailer park masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: rebellious wonderful clown

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: flesh associate



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Charcoal Yapping Nowag Location

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Exciting kitty cat

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Henna Sadistic Scourge Upon The Earth Keepsake Machete

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Orange fiercely-loyal parlour twinkling uncleanness

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Exciting kitty cat

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: iridescent institution gay wizard



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Exciting kitty cat



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Henna Sadistic Scourge Upon The Earth Keepsake Machete

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Electric carnelian shitlib marketing idea



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Coral histrionic sandwich lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: cracking frisky pocket flask



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Exciting kitty cat



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Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Charismatic Dopamine



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Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Coral histrionic sandwich lay



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Bossy coldplay fan gas station

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Exciting kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Bossy coldplay fan gas station



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: bateful crackhouse haunted graveyard



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Henna Sadistic Scourge Upon The Earth Keepsake Machete



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Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



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Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
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Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



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