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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Adventurous french chef
  12/03/18
...
Adventurous french chef
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Swashbuckling Big-titted Temple
  12/03/18
ty!
Adventurous french chef
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
nofapping bull headed boistinker
  12/03/18
...
erotic community account area
  12/24/21
...
Cobalt histrionic organic girlfriend
  12/03/18
...
gold lay
  12/03/18
...
curious national security agency
  12/03/18
...
Green sick faggot firefighter locale
  12/03/18
...
nofapping bull headed boistinker
  12/03/18
...
Adventurous french chef
  12/07/18
...
Mewling meetinghouse
  12/07/18
...
fear-inspiring concupiscible library stock car
  12/07/18
...
bateful bonkers box office place of business
  12/07/18
...
heady bossy pistol pit
  12/07/18
...
Adventurous french chef
  12/14/18
...
cowardly address
  12/14/18
...
Adventurous french chef
  12/24/18
...
Cobalt histrionic organic girlfriend
  12/24/18
...
Titillating unholy forum macaca
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
peach low-t jew
  12/24/18
120
ultramarine balding wagecucks hairy legs
  12/24/18
...
Adventurous french chef
  12/24/18
...
ultramarine balding wagecucks hairy legs
  12/24/18
...
french trailer park
  12/24/18
...
Adventurous french chef
  12/24/18
...
Duck-like Pocket Flask
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Fuchsia Volcanic Crater
  12/24/18
...
Adventurous french chef
  12/16/21
...
up-to-no-good parlor
  12/24/18
...
marvelous space
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Slippery mental disorder house
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Adventurous french chef
  07/01/19
...
Cobalt histrionic organic girlfriend
  07/01/19
...
Cobalt histrionic organic girlfriend
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Adventurous french chef
  12/10/19
getting close...
Adventurous french chef
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Adventurous french chef
  12/24/19
...
Fantasy-prone Brilliant Base Sneaky Criminal
  12/24/19
...
Adventurous french chef
  12/24/19
...
Hairraiser Massive Piazza Gunner
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
maniacal coldplay fan background story
  12/24/19
...
Avocado razzmatazz site fortuitous meteor
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Fuchsia Volcanic Crater
  12/24/19
lol
Adventurous french chef
  12/24/19
This
erotic community account area
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Arousing Frozen Boiling Water Business Firm
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Adventurous french chef
  12/24/19
...
yapping idiot
  12/24/19
...
Adventurous french chef
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Adventurous french chef
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
erotic community account area
  12/24/19
...
Adventurous french chef
  12/24/19
...
Fragrant Location
  12/24/19
...
Adventurous french chef
  12/15/20
...
Adventurous french chef
  12/23/20
...
vengeful vibrant antidepressant drug
  12/24/20
It's time.
Adventurous french chef
  12/24/20
...
fear-inspiring concupiscible library stock car
  12/24/20
...
Adventurous french chef
  12/16/21
...
french trailer park
  12/16/21
...
vengeful vibrant antidepressant drug
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Adventurous french chef
  12/20/21
Lmao
carmine becky
  12/20/21
...
Adventurous french chef
  12/22/21
...
carmine becky
  12/22/21
...
hilarious spot selfie
  12/24/21
...
erotic community account area
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Swashbuckling Big-titted Temple

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: nofapping bull headed boistinker

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: erotic community account area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Cobalt histrionic organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: gold lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: curious national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Green sick faggot firefighter locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: nofapping bull headed boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Adventurous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Mewling meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: fear-inspiring concupiscible library stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: bateful bonkers box office place of business



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: heady bossy pistol pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: cowardly address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Adventurous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Cobalt histrionic organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Titillating unholy forum macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: peach low-t jew

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: ultramarine balding wagecucks hairy legs

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: ultramarine balding wagecucks hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: french trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Adventurous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Duck-like Pocket Flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Fuchsia Volcanic Crater

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: up-to-no-good parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: marvelous space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Slippery mental disorder house

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Cobalt histrionic organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Cobalt histrionic organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Adventurous french chef

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Adventurous french chef

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Fantasy-prone Brilliant Base Sneaky Criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Adventurous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Hairraiser Massive Piazza Gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: maniacal coldplay fan background story

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Avocado razzmatazz site fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Fuchsia Volcanic Crater

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Adventurous french chef

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: erotic community account area

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Arousing Frozen Boiling Water Business Firm

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Adventurous french chef

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: yapping idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Adventurous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: erotic community account area

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Fragrant Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: vengeful vibrant antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: fear-inspiring concupiscible library stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Adventurous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: french trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: vengeful vibrant antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: carmine becky

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Adventurous french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: carmine becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: hilarious spot selfie



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: erotic community account area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#49538935)