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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/03/18
...
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
insane exciting boiling water den
  12/03/18
ty!
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Spruce messiness
  12/03/18
...
bronze jet-lagged chapel therapy
  12/24/21
...
white gunner
  12/03/18
...
nudist talented menage
  12/03/18
...
Walnut arousing stag film
  12/03/18
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pearl church
  12/03/18
...
Spruce messiness
  12/03/18
...
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/07/18
...
Hairraiser judgmental nibblets temple
  12/07/18
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Curious hairy legs personal credit line
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Razzle center famous landscape painting
  12/07/18
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motley geriatric pozpig space
  12/07/18
...
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/14/18
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Sapphire Halford
  12/14/18
...
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/24/18
...
white gunner
  12/24/18
...
stirring copper sweet tailpipe
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Vivacious legend location
  12/24/18
120
titillating bistre range
  12/24/18
...
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/24/18
...
titillating bistre range
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navy wild rehab jew
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odious pungent pistol resort
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abusive provocative electric furnace
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Dark Native Quadroon
  12/24/18
...
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/16/21
...
yapping base degenerate
  12/24/18
...
stimulating karate crackhouse
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Aromatic national goal in life
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
odious pungent pistol resort
  07/01/19
...
white gunner
  07/01/19
...
white gunner
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/10/19
getting close...
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/24/19
...
Very Tactful Ticket Booth
  12/24/19
...
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/24/19
...
thriller duck-like indian lodge
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
racy fuchsia market
  12/24/19
...
Sinister vibrant senate
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Dark Native Quadroon
  12/24/19
lol
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/24/19
This
bronze jet-lagged chapel therapy
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Insecure Kink-friendly Giraffe Theater Stage
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/24/19
...
spectacular toilet seat station
  12/24/19
...
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
bronze jet-lagged chapel therapy
  12/24/19
...
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/24/19
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bossy gaping
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odious pungent pistol resort
  12/15/20
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odious pungent pistol resort
  12/23/20
...
Vermilion twisted field regret
  12/24/20
It's time.
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/24/20
...
Curious hairy legs personal credit line
  12/24/20
...
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/16/21
...
navy wild rehab jew
  12/16/21
...
Vermilion twisted field regret
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/20/21
Lmao
anal public bath
  12/20/21
...
odious pungent pistol resort
  12/22/21
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anal public bath
  12/22/21
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azure garrison
  12/24/21
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bronze jet-lagged chapel therapy
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: insane exciting boiling water den

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Spruce messiness

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: bronze jet-lagged chapel therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: white gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: nudist talented menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Walnut arousing stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: pearl church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Spruce messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Hairraiser judgmental nibblets temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Curious hairy legs personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Razzle center famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: motley geriatric pozpig space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Sapphire Halford



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: white gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: stirring copper sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Vivacious legend location

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: titillating bistre range

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: titillating bistre range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: navy wild rehab jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: abusive provocative electric furnace



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Dark Native Quadroon

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: yapping base degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: stimulating karate crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Aromatic national goal in life

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: white gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: white gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Very Tactful Ticket Booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: thriller duck-like indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: racy fuchsia market

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Sinister vibrant senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Dark Native Quadroon

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: bronze jet-lagged chapel therapy

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Insecure Kink-friendly Giraffe Theater Stage

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: spectacular toilet seat station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: bronze jet-lagged chapel therapy

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: bossy gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Vermilion twisted field regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Curious hairy legs personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: navy wild rehab jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Vermilion twisted field regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: anal public bath

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: odious pungent pistol resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: anal public bath



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Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: azure garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: bronze jet-lagged chapel therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2",#49538935)