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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Internet-worthy Vivacious Location
  12/03/18
...
Internet-worthy Vivacious Location
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
zippy party of the first part
  12/03/18
ty!
Internet-worthy Vivacious Location
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Pearly hyperactive psychic
  12/03/18
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  12/24/21
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  12/24/18
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  12/24/18
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Dark Masturbator
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
appetizing outnumbered boltzmann
  12/24/18
120
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  12/24/18
...
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Exciting light state
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  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Aggressive Meetinghouse
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Internet-worthy Vivacious Location
  07/01/19
...
Honey-headed elite nowag stage
  07/01/19
...
Honey-headed elite nowag stage
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Internet-worthy Vivacious Location
  12/10/19
getting close...
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  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Internet-worthy Vivacious Location
  12/24/19
...
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  12/24/19
...
Internet-worthy Vivacious Location
  12/24/19
...
Indigo hairraiser pit cumskin
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Swashbuckling Bearded Dopamine
  12/24/19
...
citrine knife set
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Odious locus potus
  12/24/19
lol
Internet-worthy Vivacious Location
  12/24/19
This
vermilion french chef
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
topaz soul-stirring associate
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Internet-worthy Vivacious Location
  12/24/19
...
Lime Public Bath Patrolman
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Internet-worthy Vivacious Location
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Internet-worthy Vivacious Location
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
vermilion french chef
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It's time.
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hilarious stirring hospital
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  12/16/21
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impertinent stead
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drunken magenta university becky
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
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  12/20/21
Lmao
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  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: zippy party of the first part

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Pearly hyperactive psychic

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: vermilion french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Honey-headed elite nowag stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Grizzly Business Firm Wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: walnut racy chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: spectacular pozpig dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Pearly hyperactive psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Aphrodisiac jade persian immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: hilarious stirring hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Lavender Church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Blue hairless trump supporter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: twinkling excitant garrison private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Honey-headed elite nowag stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Dark Masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: appetizing outnumbered boltzmann

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Free-loading home son of senegal

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Free-loading home son of senegal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: impertinent stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Thriller Alcoholic Black Woman Headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Odious locus potus

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Exciting light state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Provocative carnelian ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Aggressive Meetinghouse

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Honey-headed elite nowag stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Honey-headed elite nowag stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Sexy fragrant lettuce institution



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Indigo hairraiser pit cumskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Swashbuckling Bearded Dopamine

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: citrine knife set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Odious locus potus

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: vermilion french chef

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: topaz soul-stirring associate

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Lime Public Bath Patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: vermilion french chef

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Onyx splenetic codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: drunken magenta university becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: hilarious stirring hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: impertinent stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: drunken magenta university becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: godawful lay gaming laptop

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Internet-worthy Vivacious Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: godawful lay gaming laptop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: slap-happy diverse useless brakes



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: vermilion french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=",#49538935)