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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/03/18
...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
coral at-the-ready menage ratface
  12/03/18
ty!
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Razzle cobalt whorehouse
  12/03/18
...
Burgundy Lascivious Senate Reading Party
  12/24/21
...
contagious aggressive point codepig
  12/03/18
...
Sable goal in life public bath
  12/03/18
...
talented alcoholic library trust fund
  12/03/18
...
Odious Soggy Gaming Laptop Chapel
  12/03/18
...
Razzle cobalt whorehouse
  12/03/18
...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/07/18
...
Orange Charismatic Pervert Church
  12/07/18
...
Multi-colored Bawdyhouse
  12/07/18
...
Mint Rough-skinned Shrine
  12/07/18
...
Adventurous disgusting garrison jap
  12/07/18
...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/14/18
...
Sooty Out-of-control Business Firm National Security Agency
  12/14/18
...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/24/18
...
contagious aggressive point codepig
  12/24/18
...
Confused zombie-like property background story
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Gaped Bateful Tank Orchestra Pit
  12/24/18
120
supple stage
  12/24/18
...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/24/18
...
supple stage
  12/24/18
...
hilarious heady corner
  12/24/18
...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/24/18
...
metal flushed associate useless brakes
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Bat Shit Crazy Box Office
  12/24/18
...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/16/21
...
Sapphire boistinker
  12/24/18
...
soul-stirring theatre
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Disturbing Double Fault
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
abnormal tattoo stock car
  07/01/19
...
contagious aggressive point codepig
  07/01/19
...
contagious aggressive point codepig
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/10/19
getting close...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/24/19
...
exhilarant bat-shit-crazy immigrant
  12/24/19
...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/24/19
...
Stirring Milky Heaven Headpube
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Tan mediation center
  12/24/19
...
arousing temple
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Bat Shit Crazy Box Office
  12/24/19
lol
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/24/19
This
Burgundy Lascivious Senate Reading Party
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Carnelian Excitant Dragon
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/24/19
...
Big Zippy Address
  12/24/19
...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Burgundy Lascivious Senate Reading Party
  12/24/19
...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/24/19
...
infuriating scarlet keepsake machete
  12/24/19
...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/15/20
...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/23/20
...
exciting umber den becky
  12/24/20
It's time.
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/24/20
...
Multi-colored Bawdyhouse
  12/24/20
...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/16/21
...
hilarious heady corner
  12/16/21
...
exciting umber den becky
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/20/21
Lmao
Salmon mad cow disease
  12/20/21
...
abnormal tattoo stock car
  12/22/21
...
Salmon mad cow disease
  12/22/21
...
arrogant ruddy institution
  12/24/21
...
Burgundy Lascivious Senate Reading Party
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: coral at-the-ready menage ratface

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Razzle cobalt whorehouse

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Burgundy Lascivious Senate Reading Party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: contagious aggressive point codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Sable goal in life public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: talented alcoholic library trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Odious Soggy Gaming Laptop Chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Razzle cobalt whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Orange Charismatic Pervert Church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Multi-colored Bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Mint Rough-skinned Shrine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Adventurous disgusting garrison jap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Sooty Out-of-control Business Firm National Security Agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: contagious aggressive point codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Confused zombie-like property background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Gaped Bateful Tank Orchestra Pit

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: supple stage

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: supple stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: hilarious heady corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: metal flushed associate useless brakes



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Bat Shit Crazy Box Office

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Sapphire boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: soul-stirring theatre



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Disturbing Double Fault

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: contagious aggressive point codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: contagious aggressive point codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: exhilarant bat-shit-crazy immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Stirring Milky Heaven Headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Tan mediation center

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: arousing temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Bat Shit Crazy Box Office

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Burgundy Lascivious Senate Reading Party

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Carnelian Excitant Dragon

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Big Zippy Address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Burgundy Lascivious Senate Reading Party

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: infuriating scarlet keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: exciting umber den becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Multi-colored Bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: hilarious heady corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: exciting umber den becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Salmon mad cow disease

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: abnormal tattoo stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Salmon mad cow disease



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: arrogant ruddy institution



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Burgundy Lascivious Senate Reading Party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#49538935)