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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
chestnut deer antler
  12/03/18
...
chestnut deer antler
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Ivory Pungent Stead Stain
  12/03/18
ty!
chestnut deer antler
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Racy high-end state cuckoldry
  12/03/18
...
Adventurous abusive depressive
  12/24/21
...
Swollen messiness
  12/03/18
...
Costumed Boistinker
  12/03/18
...
histrionic set mad-dog skullcap
  12/03/18
...
jet-lagged resort trust fund
  12/03/18
...
Racy high-end state cuckoldry
  12/03/18
...
chestnut deer antler
  12/07/18
...
Nudist mental disorder library
  12/07/18
...
Autistic Nursing Home
  12/07/18
...
Peach stag film
  12/07/18
...
multi-colored background story
  12/07/18
...
chestnut deer antler
  12/14/18
...
180 sepia mood meetinghouse
  12/14/18
...
chestnut deer antler
  12/24/18
...
Swollen messiness
  12/24/18
...
disturbing crimson multi-billionaire theater stage
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
opaque address
  12/24/18
120
stimulating space
  12/24/18
...
chestnut deer antler
  12/24/18
...
stimulating space
  12/24/18
...
mentally impaired crusty community account
  12/24/18
...
chestnut deer antler
  12/24/18
...
provocative whorehouse associate
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
heady market incel
  12/24/18
...
chestnut deer antler
  12/16/21
...
Brass Exciting Corner Pozpig
  12/24/18
...
Coral center
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Massive home
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
chestnut deer antler
  07/01/19
...
Swollen messiness
  07/01/19
...
Swollen messiness
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
chestnut deer antler
  12/10/19
getting close...
chestnut deer antler
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
chestnut deer antler
  12/24/19
...
Dark Misunderstood Circlehead Elastic Band
  12/24/19
...
chestnut deer antler
  12/24/19
...
avocado idiot hominid
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
glassy gas station travel guidebook
  12/24/19
...
dun dragon lay
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
heady market incel
  12/24/19
lol
chestnut deer antler
  12/24/19
This
Adventurous abusive depressive
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Vibrant ungodly degenerate station
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
chestnut deer antler
  12/24/19
...
razzmatazz lemon generalized bond
  12/24/19
...
chestnut deer antler
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
chestnut deer antler
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Adventurous abusive depressive
  12/24/19
...
chestnut deer antler
  12/24/19
...
Arousing Point
  12/24/19
...
chestnut deer antler
  12/15/20
...
chestnut deer antler
  12/23/20
...
Curious hall keepsake machete
  12/24/20
It's time.
chestnut deer antler
  12/24/20
...
Autistic Nursing Home
  12/24/20
...
chestnut deer antler
  12/16/21
...
mentally impaired crusty community account
  12/16/21
...
Curious hall keepsake machete
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
chestnut deer antler
  12/20/21
Lmao
sable menage fanboi
  12/20/21
...
chestnut deer antler
  12/22/21
...
sable menage fanboi
  12/22/21
...
Laughsome shimmering blood rage reading party
  12/24/21
...
Adventurous abusive depressive
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Ivory Pungent Stead Stain

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Racy high-end state cuckoldry

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Adventurous abusive depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Swollen messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Costumed Boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: histrionic set mad-dog skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: jet-lagged resort trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Racy high-end state cuckoldry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: chestnut deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Nudist mental disorder library



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Autistic Nursing Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Peach stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: multi-colored background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: 180 sepia mood meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: chestnut deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Swollen messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: disturbing crimson multi-billionaire theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: opaque address

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: stimulating space

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: stimulating space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: mentally impaired crusty community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: chestnut deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: provocative whorehouse associate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: heady market incel

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Brass Exciting Corner Pozpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Coral center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Massive home

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Swollen messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Swollen messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: chestnut deer antler

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: chestnut deer antler

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Dark Misunderstood Circlehead Elastic Band



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: chestnut deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: avocado idiot hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: glassy gas station travel guidebook

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: dun dragon lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: heady market incel

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: chestnut deer antler

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Adventurous abusive depressive

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Vibrant ungodly degenerate station

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: chestnut deer antler

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: razzmatazz lemon generalized bond



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: chestnut deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Adventurous abusive depressive

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Arousing Point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Curious hall keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Autistic Nursing Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: chestnut deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: mentally impaired crusty community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Curious hall keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: sable menage fanboi

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: chestnut deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: sable menage fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Laughsome shimmering blood rage reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Adventurous abusive depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026hid=#49538935)