Un-retiring for an hour to share what the divorce attorney told me (Muscadine)
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: September 25th, 2018 4:59 PM Author: fragrant boistinker depressive
So, I was finally getting my shit together to get a divorce. Quitting XO was a part of that, being that coming hear to vent frustrations was a crutch that helped keep me complacent and stuck in this horrible marriage.
So, I sit down with the attorney, and we go into income. I had a good year last year, but I spent most of my excess money paying down my commercial building loan. Really, I feel like I have no money at all.
The attorney tells me that I'm looking at between 4k - 5k in alimony and then an additional 1k in child support. My base salary is 100k (with an additional 25k-100k in partnership distributions depending on the year). Thus, on my normal month, I have approx. 6,700 in take home pay, and I'm looking at seeing 5k at best going out the door.
I just can't stress enough how much I hate the situation I'm in. I worked so hard, kept my student loans down, took enormous chances to start my own business and suffered financial deprivation getting this business running, and it was all for nothing.
I could have been getting tatted up, smoking pot, drinking every night, working as a bartender or a first mate on a fishing boat, having a great time for the past 15 years. No, I chose to be a lawyer and work hard. It was all a lie. All of it.
The sheer magnitude of how badly I have fucked up my life is simply staggering. It's so bad that it's almost too profound to fully grasp.
So, my choices are stay married to just horrible, aggressive, frigid, awful shrew of a woman who cries and yells from the second she gets up until the second she can reach a state of disassociation through multiple hours of watching the fucking Bravo channel, or face what appears to be financial suicide.
Side note, I decided to get real about divorce because my daughter is starting to react to my wife's insanity. Some of it is funny, like her telling people that "Mommy hates Daddy, she's soooooo mad at him" frequently or referring to couches as "daddy beds," but some of it is not funny and I'm not going to share that.
I love my kids so much and that is the only reason that I don't put a bullet in my head.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887052) |
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Date: September 25th, 2018 8:28 PM Author: Spectacular ruby spot ape
you should seriously consider murdering your wife bro. take a vacation to the grand canyon then.....ooops.
*gently shoves her off* "honey! no no NO!! well kids....terrible, really terrible. but we'll move past it as a family."
not professional advice btw, but...some kind of advice.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36888558) |
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Date: September 25th, 2018 8:29 PM Author: Spectacular ruby spot ape
"I could have been getting tatted up, smoking pot, drinking every night, working as a bartender or a first mate on a fishing boat, having a great time for the past 15 years. No, I chose to be a lawyer and work hard. It was all a lie. All of it."
hmmm.....yeah idk if that would work.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36888564) |
Date: September 25th, 2018 5:01 PM Author: yapping theater stage
This is insane. How can her alimony be so high - child support I get.
Wait how does she get the kids anyway? Doesn’t she have a recorded history of mental problems.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887070)
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Date: September 25th, 2018 5:08 PM Author: vigorous state
What a shitty set of options. Sorry bro. As an unmarriedmo, I can't imagine having to live with that everyday. But it sounds like divorce isn't a viable option either.
Good luck.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887139) |
Date: September 25th, 2018 5:10 PM Author: razzle-dazzle gaping place of business
Staying married longer is stupid if this is your situation. How long was the marriage? There's a light at the end of the tunnel re: alimony, but if you stay married for much longer it becomes but a fleeting glimmer.
No idea what state you are in but I could provide my general thoughts if you were interested.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887158) |
Date: September 25th, 2018 5:10 PM Author: Diverse jade legal warrant parlor
I remember you bragging about how good SC divorce law was for men one time.
Anyways, how does she get alimony?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887163) |
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Date: September 25th, 2018 5:30 PM Author: black irradiated degenerate indian lodge
you are 100% a pushover.
you let your wife walk all over you and just cry about it on xo. there is literally no way you could be more of a pushover. literally nothing could make you more of a pushover faggot.
you wouldnt be a pushover if you "left the house" because there was "only so much you could take." but you didnt. because youre a pushover.
edit: her chemical imbalance is being married to a bitchmade faggot.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887369) |
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Date: September 25th, 2018 5:39 PM Author: black irradiated degenerate indian lodge
were not talking about her, were talking about you.
you think she would get violent with me? if she did shed be making a mistake she wouldnt make twice.
time to tell her she thinks its one way but its the other way. you want to draw a line in the sand--so draw it
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887441) |
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Date: September 26th, 2018 9:55 AM Author: embarrassed to the bone massive public bath people who are hurt
Reminds me of the time my wife got concerned about my guns
“What if you get drunk and want to hurt me?”
“If I want to hurt you I don’t need a gun.”
*panties moisten*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36891367) |
Date: September 25th, 2018 5:12 PM Author: Sadistic Bespoke Hell Partner
This is why Robin Williams killedself basicallt.
Why not get a seperation ?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887182) |
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Date: September 25th, 2018 8:26 PM Author: black irradiated degenerate indian lodge
"not all women are hateful whores"
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36888542) |
Date: September 25th, 2018 5:18 PM Author: bisexual private investor clown
as someone who's skipped out of more codependent relationships with personality disorder laden women...start dissipating your marital estate into foreign accounts disguising the losses as business expenses or bad investments (you can create pdfs of brokerage statements showing losses in shit you never bought). i won't go into details but suffice to say you need three things:
(1) your kid(s) - so dirty her up. start calling dcf and mentioning her cursing, cheating on you with tattooed men with criminal records, her drug and drinking problem, her suicide attempts, her miscarriage taking it on your daughter, etc. etc.
(2) no alimony. guise up the demise of the marital estate and your own income. have your partners "fire you" or knock your salary down to $40K with deferred bonuses sitting on muni funds for interest under a shell company's account.
(3) you can't be with her. as much as being a lawyer sucks, being a lawyer with no reason to make money for someone to make you suffer regardless, there's a world of difference.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887232) |
Date: September 25th, 2018 5:19 PM Author: turquoise naked nursing home
Get a side piece. Maybe your wife is the type that is ok, just as long as it's not too obvious.
If that's too much I would at least raise the option the next time she jokes about not having sex with you. Watch her reaction. She might surprise you.
At the very least, she will know you don't find it very funny.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887239) |
Date: September 25th, 2018 5:19 PM Author: Boyish submissive library electric furnace
- Marriage counseling or therapy
- start putting liquid assets in a trust for the kid
- take on a shitload of debt for new commercia ventures
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887244) |
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Date: September 25th, 2018 10:26 PM Author: Concupiscible Chrome Casino Psychic
Ran here for this.
Also, do not underestimate at fault states and how effectively you can entrap her into being at fault.
I post this as my standard thought on divorce law.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/H._Beatty_Chadwick
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36889405)
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Date: September 25th, 2018 5:23 PM Author: black irradiated degenerate indian lodge
dont divorce, just get your whore wife in line.
man up.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887284) |
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Date: September 25th, 2018 5:33 PM Author: black irradiated degenerate indian lodge
you have kids. fix it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887396)
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Date: September 25th, 2018 5:28 PM Author: Floppy range ratface
Wow not flame:
http://www.scalimonyreform.com
Actually if Muscadine was a super long running men’s rights flame schtick I bow down.
Lol at you SC cucks. Texas caps at 5k or 20% of gross income per month, whichever is lower and cuts it off at 5 years if the marriage lasted 10-20. I make more than your best year and would pay a mere 5k per month in alimony and child support and have a glorious 3500 a month to live on, and would jump to 6k plus whatever additional earnings I build minus child support for the 10 remaining years until our youngest was 18.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887346) |
Date: September 25th, 2018 6:02 PM Author: Charismatic Ruddy Resort
The replies in this thread are amazing
some giving concrete advice based on legal reasoning
others giving advice from personal exp
others giving examples of toxic women
others coming from a religious point of view
some lamenting the end of western civilization
some giving possibly illegal legal advice
some providing methods in which OP could murder his wife and get away with it
just lulzy
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887592) |
Date: September 25th, 2018 6:08 PM Author: swashbuckling rebellious pisswyrm locale
Would your wife or her potential lawyer know about crypto?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887627)
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Date: September 25th, 2018 7:01 PM Author: big haunted graveyard
Love you brother
One of my all time favorite poasters and have been following this awhile
Let this be a cautionary i told you so take for all poasters to see that all is flame under the sun, but nothing moar flame than love and marriage
im a Chad btw
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36887985) |
Date: September 25th, 2018 7:13 PM Author: Sinister ivory locus gay wizard
Sorry to hear you are going through this. If anyone on XO can relate to your situation, it has to be me. It is not your fault your wife is a raving cluster B bitch. There is no "controlling" a person who innately has these traits. It is not a reflection on you as a man.
It enrages me to hear this is how you would be treated by the court system - you don't deserve this and the way men are treated by family courts is a huge injustice. I don't see any good answer for your situation, but wish you luck.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36888067) |
Date: September 25th, 2018 10:14 PM Author: Vibrant cruise ship
Brother:
I retired for the same reason.... our story is the same. Daughter, wife, illness, condition. I am younger than you but not by much. Our daughters are the same age
I wish I could reach out to you. I know you are hurting so bad
Fuck deus vult. Morons like him don’t understand
I’m going underground after posting this and will never come back, but stay strong and I’m going to try to do the same
I promise (and I mean it) I think about you and will pray for you often
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36889324) |
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Date: September 25th, 2018 10:33 PM Author: Vibrant cruise ship
it’s not like that
I’m not battered. I made choices. But it is what it is.
Good luck to all
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36889462) |
Date: September 25th, 2018 10:24 PM Author: vivacious idiotic ticket booth pervert
muscadine seems like a sincere guy but most of the posturing in the OP is a massive red flag that he's heavily in denial about some of what is occurring here.
people that are this one-sided and self-martyring about their domestic circumstances are rarely willing to relate the whole truth of the matter. it's natural - he's posting to receive support and encouragement, so you're going to get a pitch of some sort.
muscadine, brother, please don't let alcohol and self-pity over aging out of being too old to get pussy like when you were young completely remove you from rational hesitancy. i'm not saying don't deal with your problems, but you're an alcoholic, an egoist, and underdeveloped due to your nostalgia for your salad says. if you devolve further into this victim/cross-dragging mentality over your failed marriage to the extent that you start having middle-aged Baby Boomer pity parties because of 'all the lies you were told,' then you're bound to fail at this life transition.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36889387) |
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Date: September 25th, 2018 10:27 PM Author: mint station roast beef
bro why are you even playing armchair psychiatrist with this guy.
its simple: the guy is trapped by a third world marriage and now he realizes there is NO WAY OUT
you act as if he ever had a choice to begin with. and that makes him a true tragedy
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36889413) |
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Date: September 25th, 2018 10:46 PM Author: vivacious idiotic ticket booth pervert
I don't doubt that his wife is a bitch and he doesn't want to be married to her anymore. i also believe he loves his kids and he has grown to think that this is all for their sake. can't really comment on the latter point and he'll inevitably fly into a rage if i suggest i really know the truth of his situation, so I'll back away from that.
the real thrust is that this guy sees himself as a faultless lamb in a hellstorm of completely unfair circumstances. his marriage is a fraud. his career is a fraud. his life broadly is a fraud because he could have been having so much fucking fun as a merchant marine making $32K a year and banging flip hookers on his once-a-month 11 hours of shore leave. he'd get tats and rail lines! he'd be a bartender and life in a cool loft where he would bang hot chicks!
he's in full blown self-pitying indulgence mode. it's part and parcel to wistful boozing.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#36889579) |
Date: April 4th, 2023 9:30 PM Author: fragrant boistinker depressive
Big W muscadine bumped this today, and it almost brought me to tears reading this. I forgot all about this post.
I am so thankful, and I mean I thank God in heaven, that I did not divorce my wife. I can't believe how close I was to losing my family, and I think about our youngest child and how she wouldn't be here today if we hadn't stayed together. It would have been such an awful mistake to divorce.
Times were hard, and I don't know how I kept it together through these tough times, but I am so thankful that I did.
I can't imagine where I would be if this had gone the wrong way.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#46145007) |
Date: July 31st, 2023 4:58 PM Author: pearl dysfunction
What's the lookback window for income? Meaning can you earn shit for a year or two then divorce and be on the hook for much lower alimony? Maybe now is the time to discover your altrustic side and devote tike to your local legal aid society.
Also, keep in mind people usually end up with the right person for them and this is the mother of your children. Maybe shes just in the wrong and youre the good guy but take a long hard look at yourself and your future prospects before you go down this path.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#46613070) |
Date: September 28th, 2024 2:25 PM Author: $#&
this is noted closet gay and HIV-haver zurich, how are you all today.
after i got back together with my wife the sex was horrid. she wasn't shaving her puss, we were having sex like once every 2-3 weeks and it was awkward.
i blew up on her in may and told her i was out if things didn't change. she did an immediate 180 and we bang 2-3 times a week and i get to lick a BALD pussy.
threads like this make me realize how lucky i am because some marriages are just det with no hope of any kind of physical attraction.
i'm not lucky, however, when it comes to not being infected with HIV and staying off drugs. i am currently high on illegal drugs, and i was high during my NLRB hearing this week, please don't tell spaceporn about this.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4087371&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443",#48140652) |
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