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Non Lawyer here, I don’t get the “No Litigators” joke
Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 4th, 2026 10:36 AM Author: Awkward Violent Boistinker Aren’t these guys prestigious? They’re the ones who argue in front of SCOTUS right? Why would they be shunned in favor of some paper pushing corporate lawyers (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793111) |
Date: April 4th, 2026 10:56 AM Author: gaped peach useless brakes step-uncle's house It is impossible for litigators to move in-house. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793136) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 11:07 AM Author: Awkward Violent Boistinker why? can't they learn all that in house stuff on the job (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793155) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 10:58 AM Author: Pea-brained crawly jew kitchen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793139) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:26 PM Author: Swashbuckling disrespectful athletic conference associate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793876) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:27 PM Author: Concupiscible affirmative action plaza (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793879) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 11:11 AM Author: onyx 180 lodge Doing M&A is like Matching on Match Day. The less “lawyery” the lawyer’s job, the more prestigious and sought-after he is. The litigator has to actually argue things in “court” like a shitlawyer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793160) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 11:12 AM Author: Dashing hyperventilating roommate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793162) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 11:19 AM Author: Awkward Violent Boistinker so M&A lawyers are the best? they're like neurosurgeons?
what would litigators be then, internists? |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 11:44 AM Author: onyx 180 lodge A lawyer who actually practices law is Scum, not unlike an ER doctor covered in blood and shit and exposed to tons of Viruses constantly saving thousands of lives and making 188k
Fake Jobs are where the money is. An anesthesiologist turning Knobs exquisitely like the conductor of a Symphony. A Dermatologist examining patient phenotypes. A neurosurgeon, yeah, maybe. Also he might get Sued if he fucks the brain up. One wrong move, champ. |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:03 PM Author: Awkward Violent Boistinker what are the best Fake Jobs out there
why isn't litigator considered one |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:31 PM Author: violent amber volcanic crater Talking in court is stressful and involves actual work. Not a true Fake Job. a good Fake Job allows you to pass of your work to an LLM, casually check the work and then inflate your billables by 60% (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793889) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:34 PM Author: Awkward Violent Boistinker when is being a litigator the right career move? Would David Boies have been better off being an M&A lawyer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793897) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:35 PM Author: onyx 180 lodge Product motherfuckin' Management |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:27 PM Author: Swashbuckling disrespectful athletic conference associate As a litigator, this is very cr.
Unless you own your own shop, nobody is paying Litigators top dollar for what they do. |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:29 PM Author: Awkward Violent Boistinker what makes litigators successful vs those that dont? doesnt biglaw have litigator partners making millions? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793886) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:35 PM Author: Concupiscible affirmative action plaza biglaw is the perfect example of what everyone aspires to be when they take the LSAT but the cold hard truth is akin to George Carlin's giant club that you ain't in. More than half of attorneys are Women and maybe 10% of those women (5% of the total number of LSAT takers) will actually stay in the profession more than 10 years (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793899) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:45 PM Author: Swashbuckling disrespectful athletic conference associate Do you realize how much shit you have to eat and then smile for more in order to make it as a partner in BIGLAW?
Then there's the fact that BIGLAW hardly goes to trial. You won't see the inside of a courtroom until you're a mid-level associate, let along actually first chair a case. |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:47 PM Author: Awkward Violent Boistinker a friend of mine spent years as a AUSA then became a biglaw litigator then partner, it doesn't seem as bad as xo makes it out to be (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793924) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:49 PM Author: Swashbuckling disrespectful athletic conference associate lol @ AUSA calling themselves "trial lawyers"
Depending on what they do, they aren't seeing a fraction of trial experience as StateBros |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:51 PM Author: Awkward Violent Boistinker ok but my point still stands about their specialization as litigators. this friend worked in the criminal division (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793927) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:51 PM Author: Swashbuckling disrespectful athletic conference associate "specialization" in prosecuting:
- kiddie porn-havers; & - convicted felons in possession of firearms
not much heavy lifting. |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:53 PM Author: Awkward Violent Boistinker enough where they got a biglaw job and became partner soon after with mostly AUSA experience (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793933) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:00 PM Author: Swashbuckling disrespectful athletic conference associate Yeah, because the only criminal defense BIGLAW does is government investigations and other white collar shit.
Hence, fake jobs. Nobody in BIGLAW is looking for a litigator who has experience handling murders and sexual assaults. |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:03 PM Author: Awkward Violent Boistinker govt investigations and white collar crime pros is a fake job? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793954) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:29 PM Author: Swashbuckling disrespectful athletic conference associate "Oh no...we might get hit with fines and an embarrassing press release" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49794012) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:38 PM Author: Awkward Violent Boistinker *goes to jail for 20 years* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49794034) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:39 PM Author: Swashbuckling disrespectful athletic conference associate lol, when as a CorpBro gone to POUNDMYASS State Prison? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49794036) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:42 PM Author: Awkward Violent Boistinker POUNDMYFACE FedPrison
https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2010/03/madoff_prison_beating.html |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:45 PM Author: Swashbuckling disrespectful athletic conference associate You had to go back over 15 fucking years to find a CorpBro who got treated like a Nigga and sent to prison? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49794045) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:49 PM Author: Awkward Violent Boistinker https://decrypt.co/314424/sbf-victimville-violent-prisons-california (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49794052) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 7:01 PM Author: Concupiscible affirmative action plaza don't forget all the white collar crime and gun shit. Oh wow what a DEFENDER OF ARE FREEDOMS: you got 20 years on someone for 3d printing a gun (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49794091) |
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Date: April 5th, 2026 1:10 AM Author: Swashbuckling disrespectful athletic conference associate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49794782) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:28 PM Author: Concupiscible affirmative action plaza Dermatologists should keep pamphlets in their office on Clique Theory like my Chiropractor has for dog chiropractics. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793885) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:35 PM Author: onyx 180 lodge Why do some of these Nerds/Losers get acne so bad? Never figured that out. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793900) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:38 PM Author: Concupiscible affirmative action plaza it's a causation issue. It's not that Nerd/Losers disproportionately get acne. I'm a Scumgineer and never had acne besides a couple pimples in my teens. I knew kids who looked like their face went through a pizza grater. Phenotype matters here; the acne kids who realize this will usually develop into Nerds. The rest are Losers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49793905) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:42 PM Author: onyx 180 lodge Why don’t college athletes have acne
Also NBA seems less bald vs irl if anything |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 7:02 PM Author: Concupiscible affirmative action plaza the real question is how many Losers could have become college athletes but didn't because of acne (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49794094) |
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Date: April 5th, 2026 11:55 AM Author: onyx 180 lodge Losers don’t get disenfranchised bc they suck at sports imo but coaches usually don’t take kindly to Scumjocks, however talented they may be. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49795371) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 9:14 PM Author: Vengeful kitty Hell is other litigators (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49794377) |
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Date: April 5th, 2026 1:11 AM Author: Swashbuckling disrespectful athletic conference associate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310443#49794784) |