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a day in the life of a Snail: an original XO Choose Your Own Adventure Novel

You don't have any work today because you basically only wor...
contagious ruby principal's office
  12/29/15
b!
Slate irradiated dysfunction hall
  12/29/15
C
Sapphire Liquid Oxygen
  12/29/15
...
Histrionic Ruddy Spot Masturbator
  12/29/15
c
Impertinent Stimulating Jewess
  12/29/15
a
Overrated old irish cottage kitty
  12/29/15
a
motley patrolman church
  12/29/15
Next chapter please
Slate irradiated dysfunction hall
  12/29/15
I can', A & B ar tied :(
contagious ruby principal's office
  12/29/15
...
Histrionic Ruddy Spot Masturbator
  12/29/15
Fine I change my vote to A.
Slate irradiated dysfunction hall
  12/29/15
a provides nutrition and wont let you starve
Cerise center
  12/29/15
...
Histrionic Ruddy Spot Masturbator
  12/29/15
?
Cerise center
  12/29/15
...
Histrionic Ruddy Spot Masturbator
  12/29/15
You lug the turkey chili home as you wonder what it would fe...
contagious ruby principal's office
  12/29/15
...
Histrionic Ruddy Spot Masturbator
  12/29/15
c for sure
Cerise center
  12/29/15
C
motley patrolman church
  12/29/15
c
violent emerald toaster library
  12/29/15
Xo
Sapphire Liquid Oxygen
  12/29/15
chaturbate
Charismatic Fuchsia Really Tough Guy
  12/30/15
C!
Slate irradiated dysfunction hall
  12/29/15
NEXT CHAPTER
Slate irradiated dysfunction hall
  12/29/15
everyone in this thread unzips.
Aphrodisiac clear hell
  12/29/15
...
Histrionic Ruddy Spot Masturbator
  12/29/15
...
Sapphire Liquid Oxygen
  12/29/15
Did they turn off Snailmo's electricity?
violent emerald toaster library
  12/29/15
no, i think he found a job, and a girlfriend
Hairraiser stag film
  12/29/15
lol ouch
onyx doobsian hissy fit mexican
  12/30/15
he is busy doing tinychat
Cerise center
  12/29/15
...
domesticated corn cake
  12/30/15
...
Histrionic Ruddy Spot Masturbator
  12/30/15
Topic has amazing potential.
Milky pungent space
  12/30/15
You log into chaturbate in order to watch a session of some ...
contagious ruby principal's office
  12/30/15
2
onyx doobsian hissy fit mexican
  12/30/15
I choose 2, sounds like a great opportunity to bash BOOMER s...
Milky pungent space
  12/30/15
police
Charismatic Fuchsia Really Tough Guy
  12/30/15
1
motley patrolman church
  12/30/15
lol r u like a genderfuluid snail or sth
Sapphire Liquid Oxygen
  12/30/15
...
Sapphire Liquid Oxygen
  01/02/16
4 and 180
violent emerald toaster library
  12/30/15
Wake up and post please.
violent emerald toaster library
  12/30/15
...
Sapphire Liquid Oxygen
  12/30/15
18000000000000000000000000000000000
Slap-happy Soul-stirring Boistinker
  01/11/16
...
saffron trailer park
  11/05/20
next chapter please!
heady parlour reading party
  11/05/20
...
light soggy address
  12/13/25
...
Crusty garrison
  11/05/20


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:54 PM
Author: contagious ruby principal's office

You don't have any work today because you basically only work two days out of seven at most. Instead, you are at the local grocery store, pondering how to use your EBT card.

Snow falls to the ground outside as you wish you could drink yourself silly, fall into a snow pile, and never wake up. The store has a pungent odor that one naturally associates with inner-city grocery stores.

Everything in the store reminds you that CAPITALISM is bullshit FRAUD AND LIES where proles fucking SCAVENGE to live when faggot parasite bankers and lawyers and eating out to celebrate RAPING this country and everyone in it. Kill all elites by tearing their limbs off with horses and their families too.

Anyways, you only have enough remaining on your EBT to purchase one of the three products on sale:

a) six cans of turkey chili

b) two liters of diet coke

c) a bunch of bananas

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29480960)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:56 PM
Author: Slate irradiated dysfunction hall

b!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29480979)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:15 PM
Author: Sapphire Liquid Oxygen

C

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481594)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:55 PM
Author: Histrionic Ruddy Spot Masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29480970)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:56 PM
Author: Impertinent Stimulating Jewess

c

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29480973)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:56 PM
Author: Overrated old irish cottage kitty

a

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29480975)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:57 PM
Author: motley patrolman church

a

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29480989)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:11 PM
Author: Slate irradiated dysfunction hall

Next chapter please

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481133)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:15 PM
Author: contagious ruby principal's office

I can', A & B ar tied :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481164)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:20 PM
Author: Histrionic Ruddy Spot Masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481212)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:21 PM
Author: Slate irradiated dysfunction hall

Fine I change my vote to A.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:22 PM
Author: Cerise center

a

provides nutrition and wont let you starve

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481222)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:23 PM
Author: Histrionic Ruddy Spot Masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481225)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:30 PM
Author: Cerise center

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481285)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:31 PM
Author: Histrionic Ruddy Spot Masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481289)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:30 PM
Author: contagious ruby principal's office

You lug the turkey chili home as you wonder what it would feel like if you shoved it all up your ass. Your death would be a slightly less humiliating than your actual "life".

Once you get home, you throw it all and start smacking it open with your broken can opener. It's broken because you got it from the Dollar Tree a year ago and you use it all the fucking time because you're too fucking depressed to cook FUCK OBAMA'S AMERICA.

After microwaving it, you douse it in tabasco sauce that you STOLE from Chipotle because LLJL fuck those shitlib faggots, it's so 180 to go at peak hour and just fucking steal sauce. You hope you get arrested one day because at least jail provides life structure.

While eating, you have four tabs open on the computer. None of them are XO. Which do you go on while eating your SHITchili

a) facebook

b) ashemaletv

c) chaturbate

d) drudgereport

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481288)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:31 PM
Author: Histrionic Ruddy Spot Masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481296)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:32 PM
Author: Cerise center

c for sure

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:33 PM
Author: motley patrolman church

C

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481311)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:56 PM
Author: violent emerald toaster library

c

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481436)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:16 PM
Author: Sapphire Liquid Oxygen

Xo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481600)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:58 AM
Author: Charismatic Fuchsia Really Tough Guy

chaturbate

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29482189)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:31 PM
Author: Slate irradiated dysfunction hall

C!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481291)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:51 PM
Author: Slate irradiated dysfunction hall

NEXT CHAPTER

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481403)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:00 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac clear hell

everyone in this thread unzips.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481469)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:15 PM
Author: Histrionic Ruddy Spot Masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481596)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:14 PM
Author: Sapphire Liquid Oxygen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481589)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:33 PM
Author: violent emerald toaster library

Did they turn off Snailmo's electricity?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481713)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:39 PM
Author: Hairraiser stag film

no, i think he found a job, and a girlfriend

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481748)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:41 AM
Author: onyx doobsian hissy fit mexican

lol ouch

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29482097)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:47 PM
Author: Cerise center

he is busy doing tinychat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29481804)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:38 AM
Author: domesticated corn cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29482070)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:39 AM
Author: Histrionic Ruddy Spot Masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29482079)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:40 AM
Author: Milky pungent space

Topic has amazing potential.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29482091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:01 AM
Author: contagious ruby principal's office

You log into chaturbate in order to watch a session of some dude that you've been following since you found his pictures on a /pol/ thread describing how DEGENERATE transexuals are. JFC shitlibs are really disgusting just trying to shove all of this trans shit down our throat. fuck Obama, we should drag out all media FAGGOTS from their home like that 180000 scene in the Dark Knight Arises where Bane39 takes over Gotham.

You shovel turkey chili in your mouth and you can't help stop thinking about Benzo's asshole and retching, so you put it away for a bit.

Instead, you decide to FURIOUSLY stroke your SPERMWYRM to the long-haired crossdresser on the stream as he seductively WIGGLES his puckered BUTTHOLE.

It is enjoyable and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, until something horrifying pops out of his shirt. He has BREASTS now. Your wyrm reddens and shrinkens as you realize that he is now identifying as a "she" and has become taking hormones. In disgust, you throw off your Beats!(tm) headphones (they were a gift) and close the window. You zip up your pants angrily as yet another fine day RUINED by libs.

You decide to research more possible career paths that you will never accomplish while you finish your chili. What do you research?

1) Military

2) Police

3) Education

4) Computer Science

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29482203)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:03 AM
Author: onyx doobsian hissy fit mexican

2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29482210)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:03 AM
Author: Milky pungent space

I choose 2, sounds like a great opportunity to bash BOOMER scum.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29482211)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:08 AM
Author: Charismatic Fuchsia Really Tough Guy

police

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29482227)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:09 AM
Author: motley patrolman church

1

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29482232)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:49 AM
Author: Sapphire Liquid Oxygen

lol r u like a genderfuluid snail or sth

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29482337)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 2nd, 2016 2:50 PM
Author: Sapphire Liquid Oxygen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29505583)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 2:02 AM
Author: violent emerald toaster library

4 and 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29482377)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 11:26 AM
Author: violent emerald toaster library

Wake up and post please.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29483717)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 11:10 PM
Author: Sapphire Liquid Oxygen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29488970)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 11th, 2016 10:55 AM
Author: Slap-happy Soul-stirring Boistinker

18000000000000000000000000000000000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#29570485)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2020 8:16 AM
Author: saffron trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#41284039)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2020 8:22 AM
Author: heady parlour reading party

next chapter please!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#41284068)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 13th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: light soggy address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#49506318)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2020 8:34 AM
Author: Crusty garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310481",#41284137)