we hung out, got lunch one afternoon. it was... OKAY. she's really hot and has an incredible body so the conversation kind of suffered because the whole time i was thinking "holy shit this is awesome" and not paying attention to ANYTHING she was saying. but she agreed to see me again. then cancelled (the night before). then i immediately ask for a date on wednesday night.

her text: "That might work...I was supposed to do dinner with my boyfriend since he is going out of town Thurs morning, but it is looking like he might be stuck trying to get ahead on work before his vacation."

first of all.. wtf. Boyfriend going out of town and you seeing me for a drink instead of him for dinner is incredibly suggestive but I resisted the temptation to be her back-up in case it...well.. back-fires. I go "Haha... another time." Fully expecting her to never respond again.

Then... bam...10 seconds later. "Any other free time this week?"

I just asked her if she goes running. She does. Injured hips, but getting back into it, going to the gym right now in fact.

And then I just suggested that I know the best place in NYC to go running (and I do) and that when I get back from the Hamptons she should come with me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23518558)

http://www.theverge.com/2013/5/1/4279674/im-still-here-back-online-after-a-year-without-the-internet

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23518515)

Get healthy, which is fun after a while.

My favorite things in NYC are usually outside of Manhattan.

I enjoy going on long runs with beautiful women, who I am romantic with (or trying to be), in beautiful, natural scenery. We go back to my sun-drenched, airy apartment (not in Manhattan, near where I go running in Forest Hills Gardens), listen to some bossa nova and smoke a joint as we take a Perrier bottle, I spray her with it to cool off, and then we fill it with the bottle of white that has been chilling in my freezer since we opened it after buying it on our way home from running.

After that, we take the Perrier bottle to the park and it is starting to get dark. We go for a walk, drink more, finish the bottle. Make out on the grass. Smoke a cigarette.

Depending on circumstances, we can eat a nice dinner at some place with outdoor seating, or go to the grocery store and buy ingredients to cook at my place.

other times, we will each go to our respective homes to shower and then meet up for drinks (either alone or with other friends) later that night.

On weekend nights, there is always the potential for the beach the next day. Also hiking or mountain biking (if she bikes at all) on an easy but scenic trail alongside the Hudson about 40 min. upstate.

I just try to live every day like a game of "Try to Recreate Paradise"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23518883)

where do you meet these beautiful women

all the people i work with are old, ugly, or men

i hate bullshit like twentysomething kickball leagues

also 50% of my free time is taken up with the desperate struggle to claw my way out of my professional dead-end (night classes, also full of uglies and olds, professional networking events, chasing down job leads, etc)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23518923)

i didn't even realize we were still allowed to approach women on the street. every chick i know is a wellesley feminist who equates this with sexual harassment.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519026)

also i hear about guys doing this from my chick friends (who never have any single friends they're willing to introduce me to) and in every instance they paint the guy like he was a creepy schizo two seconds away from raping the shit out of them

possibly i just run with a bitter crowd

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519129)

www.jamesaltucher.com

That helped me a lot. So did getting off of the Internet entirely. No more recreational Internet usage does WONDERS for your world perspective. Shit, if you can last two weeks without using the Internet, you won't even be in the same ballpark of thinking about your "collapsing finances and career prospects". It's the equivalent to moving to a different country and becoming engulfed by the culture. Your thoughts are dominated by the shit you consume on a daily basis on the Internet, so it's clear to the keen observer why they are so toxic. Get off this thing for a while, don't watch TV, don't read the news, go outside, be healthy and see if your thoughts don't change. They will.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519191)

Dude, I'm literally being forced to attend unemployment seminars with proles who don't have GEDs where the state encourages me to be a security guard at a prison. My life is on fucking RED ALERT in terms of being perma-fucked, how the hell can you be so obtuse?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519211)

Do you lack the funds to move somewhere else?

Are you entangled in a less than desirable situation with a significant other?

Where would you move to if you could?

How much in savings do you have, and are you currently making any money at all?

What skills do you have?

What do you spend your free time doing?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519281)

Moving: I don't have a job and I have unemployment $ that requires me to be here. I also have a gf that keeps my expenses down (splitting rent that is already ARE COUNTRY cheap). If I move to another location, a city, I am risking being unemployed and burning through the 20K I have left in savings.

My gf is not responsible for me being out here, but she manipulated me, along with her parents, to basically punt on a prestigious job to take a rural shitlaw job.

I would move to a large city.

I currently make $10 doing part time "research" for a boss that is a 3L.

I type 122WPM and have two graduate degrees and some interesting work experience.

I WANTED to spend my free time after finishing up school taking up photography, volunteering, etc, but instead I do 5 things:

1. I take walks to clear my head

2. I spend hours, literally hours a day, talking to myself as a form of cheap CBT; a therapist recommended I do this because I cannot see a therapist at the moment and this is like a make shift version where I have lengthy, winding conversations with myself about my problems

3. I apply for jobs

4. I work on my shit ass $10/hr job

5. I do life tasks to help around here like get the groceries, clean up stuff, take care of the gf's cat, etc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519413)

Imagine the situation. You and her have an amicable break-up and you are no longer tied down to rural ARE country. Also, you have about $10k in the bank. You give your boss two weeks notice, he asks you for an extra two. How do you feel about your future prospects?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519605)

The gf and I are so tied up, it's impossible to see me leaving without a job offer in hand. I am co-dependent and had parents divorce when I was 8 - terrible age for that to happen - so when I am away from her, I turn to shit. Even though she's bad to me.

I can't leave. I can't stay. I can't find a job. I have no health insurance. I have a perforated ear drum and can't hear right. I have to attend humiliating unemployment meetings all of the time. I can't go on.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519646)

What do you need subsidized?

You need to leave your girlfriend, she is clearly the origination/source of much your misery yet you are justifying staying with her by tying it in with your general happiness, fuck - even your sustenance. You probably need to begin thinking about breaking up with her because it's very easy to remain with someone for years and realize that you dreaded it/hated it the whole time. You seem to be less than happy with her, bro.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519689)

Living with her in a low COL area and getting unemployment benefits means that I basically live a normal live without spending savings.

If I leave her and go to a big city, with no job, there is a chance I will not find anything and end up unemployment, broke, and in a foreign area with no significant other as a crutch.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519710)

What a fucking dick. Go spread your self-righteous crap on the street corner.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23520438)

You are using things like living expenses and unemployment benefits are excuses for avoiding the uncomfortableness of a break up. Believe me, I know how tough it can be, especially when you take into account elements like geography and family - but you need to do it. You are miserable with her, in that shit town and you probably resent her for influencing you to forego other opportunities. It's time to just let go and embrace the SCARY, RISKY AS FUCK but actually limitless potential of the world that exists.

Don't listen to the naysayers on this board or elsewhere. Don't read the statistics and wonder how things will pan out based on your own metrics. Don't try to quantify life in that way. It's terrible.

You won't starve to death. You will have shelter. You will find a job in some place that doesn't make you miserable. And you will meet another woman who makes you happy and can help fill some of the voids you seem to have. But bro, you need to actually believe that in order for it to ever become true. You need to truly be honest with yourself because it sounds like, above all, you are being disingenuous with yourself - and not even for your own sake.

You don't need her as a crutch. Being in a foreign area has the potential for new beginnings but there are always ways to hedge the risk of being a foreveralone.

Before you can do any of that you need to get into the mindset of leaving her. COL, and ALL of the other things yo mentioned, are nowhere on the list of top 100 reasons to stay with your girlfriend.

Changing your thinking is the hardest thing to do, but it can be so liberating once you taste how good freedom is. Freedom from caring what other thinks and fixating on the past and future. There are millions of men around the world who would kill to be a young man in your position in the United States. Life is so beautiful if you do not overcomplicate it. Like I said, take a chance. You won't starve.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23520490)

im not sure I can leave her because I am legitimately concerned I would not find a job that pays a living wage (seriously, I have two graduate degrees and I cannot get a job that pays me full time anymore because my resume looks so flighty)

but I will try my best to incorporate your advice

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23521395)

http://www.theverge.com/2013/5/1/4279674/im-still-here-back-online-after-a-year-without-the-internet

the experience of someone who did it without a self-help messiah blog profiteering complex. life is way more complex than "don't use the internet or watch tv!"

also, you've always had good career prospects. you quit a fucking 100k job to go to college and your experience will help you when you get out. you can't really compare yourself to most people when it comes to career anxiety

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519292)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519379)

all these wonderful "experiences" you're having are basically the same shit people do in college, even if they use the internet. it's a product of having no real responsibilities and an active circle of friends rather than not using the internet.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519443)

come back when you're in your late twenties, broke as shit and have no safety net, then we can consider your advice

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519522)

yes, pretty much all of my friends (except for the few back home who are waiting tables and such) work 9-5. if you're running some "just be social and talk to everyone!" schtick, then great. go for it. but this has nothing to do with using the internet, which you claim to be a panacea for everything. I've done the "drop all tech!" schtick and I stayed pretty much exactly the same person--I didn't turn into some happy go lucky dood who chatted up everyone in a cafe and totally turn my life around. and my friends, the people I genuinely care about doing shit with, all have jobs and I personally can do absolutely jack shit to change that. you are describing the life of a college student who has no problem finding someone to do shit with at any time, which is the lifestyle of many college students regardless of if they use the internet or not

you still don't get that life doesn't need some self-help cureall, but real change is only brought about by carefully measured, incremental steps. you're thinking like a teenager who wakes up with a different epiphany about life every morning and believes it must be the cure to everyone's ills, when in reality it's just a projection of your specific scenario

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2297968&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310486#23519808)