But Jerry, a man who hasn’t worked a full 8 hours since the Bush administration, uses it like a hammer to bash my sanity.

Today, he pulled his usual stunt: clocked in 15 minutes late, sauntered over to customer service, and immediately requested a “schedule adjustment.”

His reason? “My energy vibes were off this morning, friend.”

When I tried to explain the schedule had been posted for weeks, Jerry smirked. “Legally, Evan, you have to accommodate me. Any changes without my consent violate city law.” Then he casually pulled out his phone and started streaming GTA V.

As usual, Tabitha had my back in the worst way possible. When I walked into her office, she didn’t even bother pausing her soap opera. “Evan, legally, he’s right. You can’t enforce shifts without employee agreement. We’ve been over this, you dumb faggot.”

Jerry then weaponized his “right to decline extra hours,” refusing to help during the afternoon rush. Customers swarmed the registers, demanding price checks, while Jerry leaned on the counter, popping M&Ms and saying, “Looks hectic, friend. Glad I’m not scheduled for this chaos.”

At the end of his “shift,” he strolled out early, tipping an imaginary hat. “Don’t forget, Evan—any unauthorized changes to my hours are a violation. See you tomorrow, maybe.”

I spent the evening running between the deli and frozen foods, explaining to Karen #22 why we don’t offer rainchecks for almond milk. Leaned against the industrial freezer and whispered: “Yes, friend. This is fine.”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630916&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310690",#48315135)