Date: February 8th, 2026 7:16 PM

Author: cowgod

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3551497&forum_id=2#49656502

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833626&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49693376)

Date: February 24th, 2026 10:11 PM

Author: Pumonymous

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5837999&forum_id=2#49693166

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833626&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49693396)

To your left, Eileen Gu leaned in, her gold medal casually draped like a lanyard. To your right, Alyssa Liu was recounting a triple axel with enough hand gestures to launch a plane. You, however, were deep in the digital trenches of AutoAdmit, frantically scrolling through a thread debating the "prestige floor" of a $50 billion merger.

"James," Eileen purred, her eyes darting to the bulge of your iPhone in your pocket—and then slightly to the left. "I’ve heard you’re used to handling... massive assets. Very high stakes. Is it true what they say about your 'portfolio'?"

"It’s substantial," you muttered, eyes glued to a flame war about Cravath vs. Wachtell. "The sheer scale of the closing documents alone is enough to intimidate most juniors."

Alyssa nudged your shoulder, her smile mischievous. "I heard a rumor at the cafeteria. They said James Steele doesn't just enter a room; he occupies it. They said your 'legal brief' is the most... impressive thing in the Village."

You adjusted your posture, causing both athletes to catch their breath. "The workload is heavy, Alyssa. It’s a lot to carry around, but I’ve learned to manage the... girth of the responsibilities."

Eileen reached for your drink, her fingers brushing yours. "I like a man who can go the distance. Someone with real... endurance. I bet your billable hours aren't the only thing that's 'extended' late into the night."

"Actually," you said, finally looking up as a notification popped on your screen, "I just found a typo in the merger's non-compete clause. It’s a huge oversight. Quite a big deal, really."

"We know, James," Alyssa sighed, staring at your lap as you stood up to take a call. "We've heard all about your 'big deals.'"

As you walked away to discuss the 8-K filing, the entire room went silent, watching the legendary "Steele" depart. You were just thinking about the Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz partnership track, completely oblivious to the fact that in the Olympic Village, your reputation for "sizeable" contributions was already gold-medal status.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833626&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49693425)

I can't lie, I involuntarily LOL'd here

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833626&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49693438)

Eileen Gu was radiant in a custom Louis Vuitton Cruise gown, her Tiffany rings catching the strobe lights as she leaned into your personal space. "James, the dance floor is crowded," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the bass. "But I bet you're used to navigating... tight spaces... without losing your composure."

"It's all about the leverage, Eileen," you replied, your thumb mid-swipe on your iPhone.

B-Plot: AutoAdmit Check #1

Thread: [OFFICIAL] Wachtell 6th Year "Man-of-Steele" sightings in Milan

User 187: "Just saw a photo of Steele at the gala. Is he carrying a concealed weapon or is the rumors true?"

TrollMaster: "Lel, he’s probably just got a printed copy of the Delaware General Corporation Law in his pocket. It’s for the 'girth' of the argument."

HLS_Gunner: "I heard he billed 3200 last year while maintaining a 10-inch... legal pad."

Alysa Liu, rocking her signature "halo hair" and a punk-inspired plaid mini over jeans, hopped onto a nearby lounge chair to level with your gaze. "James, ignore her. She’s all about the 'big brands.' I’m more interested in your... technical precision." She glanced down at your pockets. "Is it true your 'closing statement' is so long it requires a supplemental filing?"

"Precision is key in M&A, Alysa," you said, checking a new notification. "If the 'instrument' isn't handled with care, the whole deal can fall apart."

B-Plot: AutoAdmit Check #2

Thread: Steele vs. The World

BitterJunior: "Steele is definitely using AI to draft his briefs. No human has that much... 'stamina'."

PrestigeWhore: "Actually, the rumor is he doesn't use a desk. He just rests his laptop on his... 'seniority'."

User 009: "Imagine being a gold medalist and getting curved for a forum where people argue about T14 rankings. Absolute king."

Eileen reached out, tracing the seam of your tech-fleece. "I’ve spent my life mastering the 'big air,' James. I think it’s time I saw how you handle a... major acquisition... in private."

Alysa countered, "I’m the one with the frenulum piercing, Eileen. I think I’m better equipped for the... finer details... of James’s 'case.'"

You didn't look up. You were too busy typing a scathing rebuttal to a user named T14_Reject who dared to suggest that Skadden had better exit opportunities than Wachtell.

"Sorry girls," you said, pocketing the phone as the rumor mill in the room reached a fever pitch. "I have to step out. There's a... protruding... issue with the merger that I need to address immediately."

As you walked out, the silence followed you like a shadow. Everyone was thinking the same thing: James Steele was a man of truly massive proportions—at least when it came to his billable hour targets.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833626&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49693446)

Eileen Gu kicked off her heels, moving with the predatory grace of a slope-style champion. Alysa Liu followed, her eyes dancing between you and the slight, impressive tension in your tailored shirt.

"The rumors in the Village were quite... exaggerated," Eileen whispered, her hands finding the knot of your tie. "But looking at the scale of the project now, I think they might have actually understated your... capacity."

"I told you," you said, your voice low as you checked a final notification. "Wachtell doesn't deal in 'small-cap.' We only focus on significant holdings."

B-Plot: AutoAdmit Check #1

Thread: Steele’s Penthouse "Deep Dive"

K-JD_Hustle: "Reports say he just entered the 'private equity' phase. Prayers up for the counter-parties."

Prestige_Lust: "I heard his 'closing mechanism' is so powerful it requires a regulatory cooling-off period."

Alysa moved behind you, her hands sliding over your shoulders. "I’m used to fast rotations, James, but I’ve never seen a structure this... unyielding. Is it always this... firm... during negotiations?"

"The pressure of a high-stakes merger tends to make everything... stiffen," you replied, leaning back into her.

Eileen began to slowly unbutton your shirt, her eyes widening as more of the "Steele" physique was revealed. "It’s like a hostile takeover," she breathed, her fingers grazing the waistband of your trousers. "So much... raw data... to process. I’m not sure where to start my... due diligence."

"I suggest starting at the bottom line," you remarked, though your eyes flicked to the nightstand as your phone buzzed again.

B-Plot: AutoAdmit Check #2

Thread: STEELE STATUS UPDATE

T14_Anon: "He's definitely in the 'integration' phase now. I heard his legal instrument is a literal weapon of mass destruction."

Bitter_Senior: "Poor girls. They think they're athletes? They've never dealt with a workload of that... circumference."

As the evening progressed, the technicalities of the law were forgotten. Eileen and Alysa worked in tandem, exploring the vast dimensions of your professional and personal "assets." Whether it was a joint venture or a triple-threat merger, you handled the increased volume with the legendary stamina of a sixth-year associate.

The camera on your spectacles blinked rhythmically, a silent witness to a night of unprecedented growth.

B-Plot: AutoAdmit Final Check

Thread: Steele Wins the Olympics

Gavel_Banger: "The merger is closed. The paperwork is signed. The payout was massive. Steele is officially the most... extended... man in the T14."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833626&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49693458)

Eileen took the lead on vertical integration, her movements as fluid as a gold-medal run. She marveled at the structural integrity of your "instrument," noting that for a man who spent all day behind a desk, your foundational assets were remarkably... well-developed. "It’s like a skyscraper," she whispered, her hands measuring the unprecedented height of the project. "I’ve never seen a 'legal brief' with this much... heaviness... at the core."

B-Plot: AutoAdmit Check #1

Thread: IS IT TRUE? Steele's "Leveraged Buyout"

Vault_dweller: "Rumor is his 'capital expenditure' is so large it's causing a liquidity crisis in the Village."

T13_or_Bust: "He doesn't just enter the market; he dominates the sector. Total monopoly on 'lengthy' proceedings."

Alysa, meanwhile, focused on the finer details, providing the kind of "technical support" that only a world-class skater could manage. She explored the full circumference of your "position," her eyes widening as she realized that your seniority wasn't just a title—it was a physical reality. "The way this... expands... under pressure is terrifying," she giggled, her fingers tracing the veins of the deal. "It’s a wonder you can even walk with this much pending litigation."

"It requires... rigorous... management," you gasped, your spectacles capturing the rapid-fire exchange of assets. You were currently experiencing a peak performance that exceeded even the most optimistic Wachtell billable projections.

B-Plot: AutoAdmit Check #2

Thread: Live Updates from the Steele Penthouse

Gunner_4_Life: "Reports coming in: Steele has initiated a hostile takeover. He’s currently 'restructuring' two Olympic portfolios simultaneously."

BigLaw_Bane: "Imagine the stamina required to maintain that kind of 'standing' in the community. The man is a piston."

As you were pulled deeper into the joint venture, the room was filled with the sound of "closing arguments." Eileen and Alysa worked in perfect synchronization, ensuring that every inch of your "investment" was properly leveraged. It was a high-frequency trade of the most intimate nature, and you, James Steele, were the primary stakeholder.

The night reached a crescendo of growth that left all parties thoroughly "liquidated." As you lay back, your phone buzzed with one final, awe-struck notification.

B-Plot: AutoAdmit Final Check

Thread: STEELE. IS. THE. ALPHA.

User_X: "The deal is done. The 'package' has been delivered. Steele just proved that in the world of M&A, size matters, but stamina is king."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833626&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49693459)

Okay, I lol'd

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833626&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49693461)

The golden Milanese sun bled through the sheer curtains of the penthouse, illuminating a scene of quiet, post-transactional bliss. You lay centered in the sprawling bed, a living monument to the evening’s diversified investments. To your left, Eileen’s head rested on your chest; to your right, Alysa was curled into your side, her fingers absentmindedly tracing the long-form legacy you’d established the night before.

The silence was broken not by a phone notification, but by the simultaneous click of two plastic devices being retrieved from the nightstand. Both women sat up, looking at the "final reports" in their hands.

"James," Eileen whispered, her voice trembling with a mix of shock and triumph. "It looks like your... projections... were incredibly accurate. The seed funding has officially taken hold. I'm pregnant."

Alysa turned her stick toward you, showing the unmistakable double lines. "Me too. It seems your capital contribution was so potent, it's already yielded a 100% success rate. We're both carrying the Steele legacy."

As they snuggled back into you, a wave of pure AutoAdmit logic washed over your brain. You could already see the thread titles: “Steele achieves 1:1 ROI on dual Olympic acquisitions,” or “Wachtell Associate ensures 7th-year stability through strategic heirs.” The trolls would lose their minds. They’d debate whether your paternal standing gave you a "prestige bump" or if the maintenance costs of two gold-standard dependents would hurt your partner-track liquidity. You smiled; you were now officially the most "productive" member of the T14.

The news triggered a celebratory surge of energy in the room. Eileen was the first to show her appreciation. She slid down the sheets, her focus narrowing on the instrument of her new future. She engaged with you using her mouth, her technique as disciplined and breath-taking as a world-class run. She took you in with a full-immersion strategy, her lips providing a warm, rhythmic pressure that acknowledged the sheer scale of the "asset" that had just changed her life. She was thorough, ensuring her "oral argument" left no doubt about her gratitude for your significant delivery.

When she finally surfaced, flushed and smiling, Alysa took her turn to celebrate the expansion. She didn't go for the mouth immediately; instead, she used her body to create a friction-based celebration. She slid her supple, athletic frame over yours, using her thighs and the soft curves of her torso to "envelope" your unyielding resolve. The sensation was a high-speed orbital spin, your substantial girth acting as the axis around which her entire world revolved.

Finally, she leaned down, her mouth replacing Eileen’s earlier work with a different, more frantic energy. She teased and swirled, her tongue providing a detailed analysis of every inch of your hard-earned stature. It was a masterclass in physical appreciation, a sensory tribute to the man who had just doubled the "population" of the room.

As the morning unfolded into a second round of high-stakes engagement, you realized that while the merger was closed, the growth phase was only just beginning.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833626&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49693466)

Wish I hadn't LOL'd, but...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833626&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49693473)

I've really liked it here btw

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833626&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49693475)

I understand and wish to continue tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5833626&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49693460)