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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/03/18
...
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Vermilion kitty cat therapy
  12/03/18
ty!
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
excitant station messiness
  12/03/18
...
hairraiser center pistol
  12/24/21
...
Odious ticket booth travel guidebook
  12/03/18
...
flickering step-uncle's house
  12/03/18
...
Cordovan school
  12/03/18
...
Diverse Heaven
  12/03/18
...
excitant station messiness
  12/03/18
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Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/07/18
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Bistre Cracking Church
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  12/14/18
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Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/24/18
...
Odious ticket booth travel guidebook
  12/24/18
...
Comical lemon meetinghouse
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
shaky casino
  12/24/18
120
Insanely creepy dingle berry
  12/24/18
...
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/24/18
...
Insanely creepy dingle berry
  12/24/18
...
Godawful Razzle-dazzle Abode
  12/24/18
...
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/24/18
...
Appetizing institution juggernaut
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Saffron temple
  12/24/18
...
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/16/21
...
Thriller Cuckoldry
  12/24/18
...
Up-to-no-good charcoal business firm
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
beady-eyed indigo hall foreskin
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  07/01/19
...
Odious ticket booth travel guidebook
  07/01/19
...
Odious ticket booth travel guidebook
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/10/19
getting close...
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/24/19
...
Cruel-hearted Chapel Prole
  12/24/19
...
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/24/19
...
razzmatazz forum
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Glassy Piazza Gay Wizard
  12/24/19
...
citrine crotch public bath
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Saffron temple
  12/24/19
lol
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/24/19
This
hairraiser center pistol
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Cheese-eating Field Chad
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/24/19
...
Aqua puppy
  12/24/19
...
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
hairraiser center pistol
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Salmon unhinged church building headpube
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Salmon unhinged church building headpube
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  12/23/20
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pearly aromatic theatre community account
  12/24/20
It's time.
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/24/20
...
navy thirsty gunner personal credit line
  12/24/20
...
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/16/21
...
Godawful Razzle-dazzle Abode
  12/16/21
...
pearly aromatic theatre community account
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/20/21
Lmao
useless mexican
  12/20/21
...
Salmon unhinged church building headpube
  12/22/21
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useless mexican
  12/22/21
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alcoholic plaza
  12/24/21
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hairraiser center pistol
  12/25/23
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  12/25/25
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  12/25/25
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Vermilion kitty cat therapy

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: excitant station messiness

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: hairraiser center pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Odious ticket booth travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: flickering step-uncle's house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Cordovan school



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Diverse Heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: excitant station messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Bistre Cracking Church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: navy thirsty gunner personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Fragrant hell electric furnace



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: domesticated infuriating stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: big-titted site antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Odious ticket booth travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Comical lemon meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: shaky casino

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Insanely creepy dingle berry

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Insanely creepy dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Godawful Razzle-dazzle Abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Appetizing institution juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Saffron temple

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Thriller Cuckoldry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Up-to-no-good charcoal business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: beady-eyed indigo hall foreskin

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Odious ticket booth travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Odious ticket booth travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Cruel-hearted Chapel Prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: razzmatazz forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Glassy Piazza Gay Wizard

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: citrine crotch public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Saffron temple

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: hairraiser center pistol

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Cheese-eating Field Chad

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Aqua puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: hairraiser center pistol

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: hot autistic hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: pearly aromatic theatre community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: navy thirsty gunner personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Godawful Razzle-dazzle Abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: pearly aromatic theatre community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: useless mexican

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Salmon unhinged church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: useless mexican



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: alcoholic plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: hairraiser center pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49538706)



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Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49538932)



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Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310751#49538935)