John Oliver: “‘Supporters’ had a *BLEEP*ing APOSTROPHE!”
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Date: October 30th, 2024 5:29 PM Author: Sticky cowardly gay wizard
"Donald Trump's rally in Madison Square Garden was nothing like a Nazi rally, except of course for the racial animosity, the autocratic overtones of the rhetoric, oh, and, of course, the actual fucking Nazis."
*plays Kill Tony clip*
"I don't know about you, but whenever I talk about 'garbage' that 'poisons my blood', I'm generally thinking less about the 'global south' and more about a fast food behemoth marketed as 'south of the border'--did you know that Taco Bell's fries are back? They are LITERALLY delicious. I have a plate of them beneath my desk as we speak." *brings up plate, eats a fry, speaks with his mouth full*
And then, of course, we have the counterpoint.
*plays Biden clip*
"Now look. It is clear to everyone with ears to hear and functioning intuition what President Biden meant, but I can admit that it didn't *sound* good, much like when your drunk guy best friend tries to compliment your outfit but ends up yelling at you for leading him on for four and a half years. You know that he wouldn't have said it if he weren't drunk, and that you probably shouldn't be alone in his apartment ever again, but that's just the lovable sort of cad he is and, dammit, getting your point across isn't easy when you're shouting over a Phonk remix of pop sensation Sabrina Carpenter's 'Espresso'!"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5621264&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310764#48260037) |
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Date: October 30th, 2024 8:09 PM Author: Sticky cowardly gay wizard
"Listen Herschel, I know that trying to get me a raise on a U.S.-based television show is an unwanted kipper on the shmear of the bagel of your life, but I've actually been on this show for ten fucking years! Reckoned in Hollywood time, that is enough time for the Avengers to kill Thanos, resurrect him, kill him again, have a reunion episode where the space-fucking-raccoon gets deep about his Xanax dependency, and for Scarlett Johansson to testify about Harvey Weinstein, go to law school, get barred, practice for a while, and then be appointed a judge to preside over his parole board hearing, so I don't think I'm asking that much when I say that, by now, I warrant a free fucking Chipotle burrito on Fridays and six mylar balloons rather than *one* on my birthday."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5621264&forum_id=2\u0026mark_id=5310764#48260540) |
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